Disclaimer: No, I don't own the characters. If I did, don't you think my name would be more Miyamoto-ish? I mean seriously! Weirdoes.
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Achievement Unlocked!: Chapter 1: Get Out More

The Smash Mansion had always involved a set of assorted video game characters, who, due to the mansion's funding by a Nintendo cult, were all Nintendo characters. Go figure. One of these characters, a chronically boring child named Ness, was in the mansion's game room. Playing a game. In the mansion. How interesting.
"I'm playing a game." said Ness.
"In the mansion." nodded Young Link.
"How interesting." concurred Kirby.
Ness' character died. Ness howled and shouted highly complex and obscene profanities, including; "Rats!", "Oh no!" and of course, "I died."
Young Link and Kirby pointed and laughed. Ness rounded on them.
"What, you guys think you're better Adventure Quest Pilgrimage Journey 3 players than me?" asked Ness.
"Well..." began Kirby. Kirby's half-elf mage wizard healer crockpot salesman character won, with Young Link's half-crockpot salesman healer wizard mage elf character putting up a closely skilled fight.
"Yes..." finished Kirby. A ringing noise resounded from the TV.
"Achievement Unlocked!" beeped a voice ingame.
"Sweet!" cried Young Link. "You got the achievement 56: low gravity!" Kirby's character jumped 1337 miles in the air, never returned, and was scrubbed from the player history records.
"Cool!" smiled both Kirby and Young Link.
"I don't need you guys!" pouted Ness. "I'll start my own file and get every achievement within one week! You heard me! On the...Young Link, what date is it"
"8th May." replied Young Link, checking the calendar he won from an achievement.
"On the 8th May, at..." began Ness. He saw Fox passing by the room in the hallway. Yep, the mansion is so well-funded it has minature rooms in the hallways. "HEY, FOX! What time is it"
Fox glanced at his watch. "Just after ten to five!" he called back.
"That's not specific enough!" moaned Ness. Fox left, and Luigi came in. "Hey-a guys, what's-a going on?" asked Luigi.
"Luigi, what time is it?" asked Ness.
"4:54:51pm", said Luigi. The three kids burst out laughing.
"Who actually uses precise time measurements?" asked Ness.
"What a dork!" laughed Kirby. Luigi burst into tears and ran out of the room.

CHAPTER 1 IS COMPLETELY OVER!

Triple R time, read, review, retch.