The sky is blue.
He wonders why, at a moment like this, this should matter so much. But it does. The sky is blue, and it shouldn't be.
People have died today. Innocent lives have been lost forever, the souls of the men and women and children who tried to escape have been taken away. The sky should be painted black for sorrow or red for blood, with streaks of pale lightening flashing across it and rain pouring down – tears for those who had fallen, for those who had been forgotten… but no… what is another name, another face? What is another life extinguished, in the long run? Pulling blades of grass up with his hands, he tears them to shreds in his fingers.
He tips his head and stares up to the heavens, glaring into the sun until he is blinded and little black dots swim in his vision. He blinks repeatedly, trying to rid himself of the dizzy feeling, and then realizes that he has no right to relieve himself of pain. No right… not when there have been people tortured, killed, picked off one by one… all because of him. He deserves this. Closing his eyes, he breathes deeply and forces himself to remember the screams of the people, the brave voices of the grown men and women fighting for their lives and the lives of their friends and family, of their neighbors… the pleading voices of the mothers begging for their children's lives… just as so long ago, his own mother had pleaded for his.
Well. He'd been lucky. He'd been lucky more than once, and he wonders if it was even worth it… because, after all, what is the point of life when everything worth living for is gone? Death, he thinks, will be a blessing, because anything is better than waking up each day to the unlimited regret he faces whenever he turns his head, opens his eyes, breathes. Anything is better than carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders with nothing to turn to but the memories of his past and of the thought of what could have been his future.
The sky is blue today… it should at least be a shade of gray.
Author's Note: This was written for a challenge at . Thanks to my friend Luna for the title and first sentence, and to both she and Brit for looking this over. The prompt was 'unlimited regrets'. I had a good time writing this, especially since it's been a while since I've had the time to actually write anything at all. Let me know what you think. Thanks! )
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.