Disclaimer: So very not mine. So sad. I cry.
Author's Note: Again, a long time between chapters. Sorry. Hope you guys like this one!
He'd been sleeping fitfully ever since he had passed out in the on-call room. Sometimes he twisted and turned, wrapping the blankets around his body until he began to mumble and mutter about things capturing him and holding him down. Other times he would curl into a ball on his side, silent and shaking.
Perry sat in the chair next to the bed, pulling the blankets over JD's shoulders and unwrapping them when he got caught in them. He was dozing off in his chair when JD's murmuring woke him.
He sat up and looked over at the younger man, still asleep but muttering and turning in his sleep. Perry stood and went over to the bed, placing his hand on JD's forehead. JD murmured something Perry didn't quite catch and immediately quieted. His hand came up to brush against Perry's hand, then fell back to his side. His fever had broken, sweat beaded on his forehead. Perry looked back down at his hands. Some of the fingers were bandaged where they had been rubbed raw from JD's fit. It only emphasized just how small and feminine the hands were in the first place.
Perry's eyes moved from the injured fingers to JD's face, which was all angles and sharp lines in the half shadow of the dimly lit room. He couldn't seem to shake the image of the kid on the floor of the on-call room, hands red and raw from ripping the harsh fabric of hospital pillows and blankets, face pale and sweat covered, light eyes blood shot and tear filled. It wasn't like JD to completely lose it like that. And that, more than JD passing out or lying in the hospital bed, was what really scared Perry.
He was a doctor, he'd known the minute he'd seen how pale JD was, how hot his skin felt, that the kid was just sick. It happened. Everyone knew doctors where notorious for not going to doctor's themselves. Not enough rest or drink, and suddenly a simple cold or flu was something big enough to knock them on their ass.
But something about JD looking that distraught made his stomach roll a little. He didn't want to be the cause of that. What he would have liked was to be able to call him a girl and walk away. But that wasn't possible anymore, and he couldn't keep denying that.
Perry sighed and couldn't help the fingers that carded through JD's soft hair. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the kid actually do his hair.
No, he thought, that wasn't entirely true. Because he could remember every detail about that last night with JD, and he could remember him answering the door shirtless with his hair spiked up in all directions. But that day seemed like years ago.
Jordan had given her permission, in her own way, and JD had all but told him he was waiting for him to make a move. The only thing left really, was himself.
That was a big enough hurdle. Perry had worked hard, his entire life really, once he'd gotten out of his childhood home, to create the person he was. He took no one's shit, he accepted no excuses for anything less than the absolute best from anyone he worked with or associated with. Perry Cox was the best damned doctor in this place. He was terrifying, intimidating, and not to be fucked with. And that was how he wanted it to be.
Except that his father had been terrifying and intimidating, and not to be fucked with. And that hadn't seemed to make him happy. It fact, it seemed to have made him a heartless bastard whose answer to any problem was to beat the first person he came within reach of. Perry stopped the thought there. That wasn't a place he went to, not willingly.
He looked down at where his fingers still trailed over JD's cheek. He brought them away as if burned and ran his hand over his face.
He sat back down in the chair, pulling his hands through his hair and letting his head hang down.
He'd worked so hard. To get where he was, to have the respect and the fear of the people he worked with and for. Perry couldn't give that up, not for JD, not for anyone. And being with JD, it would make people assume things about him that weren't true. He'd lose patients.
He looked back up
He stood suddenly and left the room, not looking back at the sleeping man in the bed and forgetting his worn, hoodie sweatshirt on the chair by the bed.
It was all too much, and he needed a drink.
JD woke feeling groggy. His bed didn't seem nearly as comfortable as it usually did. He opened his eyes and was shocked to look around at a hospital room. He started to sit up, but was hit by a wave of fatigue. He lay back against the pillow.
It took him a moment to remember what had happened. When he did he brought his hands to his face and groaned. How big of a girl could he be? Practically fainting in Dr. Cox's arms. He groaned. He lifted his hands from his face and looked at them curiously, because they felt odd on his face. He stared at the bandages, three on the fingers of his right hand, and two on his left. He let his head fall back on the pillow and closed his eyes.
He was such an idiot. Why couldn't he have waited till he got home to have a nervous breakdown?
He opened his eyes and looked around the room again, his eyes stopping, breath stopping hard in his chest, as he noticed the dark brown hoodie on the chair next to his bed. He remembered that sweatshirt. It was Perry's. He'd worn it that last night. He wondered if that meant that Perry had stayed with him.
JD turned his head to look out the window. It was light outside, early morning light that was grey and nearly oppressive. It looked like the day would be cloudy. He wondered if it would rain. He stared at the IV still connected to his hand and frowned. He should be pushing the call button so he could find out when he could get up. He felt fine, groggy and tired, but fine.
He turned his head to look back at the sweatshirt on the chair. It probably smelled like Perry. He wished he knew if Perry had stayed with him, but if he had, he would still be there wouldn't he? So he must have just dropped JD in the room and left, forgetting his hoodie in the first place. JD stared at the sweatshirt still, eyes tearing up, though he didn't notice.
This was stupid. It was beyond stupid. He wasn't some teenager, he shouldn't want to snatch up the sweatshirt and cuddle it. But he found himself sitting up in the bed and reaching a hand out for it anyway. He caught the sleeve with his bandaged fingers and snatched it, pulling it onto the bed with him. He brought it to his face, taking a deep breath. It did smell like Perry, a scent JD knew intimately yet couldn't describe other than to say it smelled like home and safety. Which was corny, he knew, but he couldn't help it. He rolled over onto his side, careful of the IV tube. The sweatshirt he put under his head, burying his face in it and closing his eyes. It couldn't hurt to cuddle with it for just a little while. It wasn't like Dr. Cox wore the thing often; most people wouldn't even know it was his.
It didn't take long for him to fall back asleep. And for the first time in three weeks, it was a restful and quiet sleep.
It was like that, curled up with the dark brown sweatshirt under his head, hands clutching at the worn fabric, that Carla found him a few hours later.
She walked in quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was sleeping, which it turned out, he was. She moved over to him and pressed a hand to his forehead. It was cool and dry, a vast improvement from the night before. He muttered sleepily and she pulled her hand away. It was too late though; he rolled over, looking up at her with sleepy eyes.
"Hey." He croaked out, his voice dry. She reached over to the bedside table and poured him a glass of water. She handed it to him as he sat up, one hand still clutching the sweatshirt. She looked at him sadly, knowing full well who it belonged to and why he was curled up with it. He caught her look and seemed to realize what he was holding. He dropped it to the bed and took a large drink of water.
"How are you feeling, Bambi?" She asked, moving to his arm to remove the IV. He watched her do it. When she was done, she put a bandage over where it had been.
"I feel better. Anything serious?" He asked.
She took the seat next to the bed and put her feet up next to his leg. She nudged him lightly and he smiled, letting his head fall back on the pillows. She thought he looked better for having had a night of sleep. It was almost a relief to know that he actually had been sick with something, although she was still convinced it was brought on by all the stress of Dr. Cox and losing Mrs. Benson.
"Serious enough for you to be in a hospital bed right now." She scolded him. He pouted at her. "But you're fine. You were just exhausted and sick. You should have known better than to keep working through it." She wanted to say something about the breakdown he'd had in the on-call room, but she wanted to wait. He looked upset enough at the idea of being sick and in the hospital bed.
"Can I go home now?" He asked. She nodded.
"Kelso says you can have the next two days off to get yourself back together. He didn't like it, but Ted told him about how many lawsuits you could cause if you were forced to work when you were this exhausted and he agreed." She thought he would laugh, but he didn't. He just nodded his head, his hand moving to grab at the brown fabric of the sweatshirt beside him. She didn't think he even realized he was doing it.
"I'm still tired." Was as he said, and his eyes drifted towards the window. They sat in silence for several minutes, and outside the light grey clouds opened and rain began to fall. It looked cold. It made her shiver. She put her arms around herself.
"Want to talk about what happened in the on-call room?" She asked finally. He looked at her, white and washed out looking, except for the flush that rose in his cheeks. He looked down, hands twisting in the sweatshirt.
"I think it was just too much. I needed to vent." He explained. She gave him a look and he shrugged.
"You know Dr. Cox was the one who found you." She said. He winced and nodded. "He seemed pretty shook up by it." JD looked at her, eyes wary, before they cut back to the sweatshirt.
And finally she let loose the tidbit she'd been holding back, debating if she would even tell him. But she knew Dr. Cox better than anyone else in this hospital except Jordan, and in some ways, JD. So she decided she would just say it and let the chips fall. There was only so much stupidity she could tolerate and both JD and Dr. Cox were about at their limit.
"He stayed most of the night with you, you know." She said softly. JD looked at her then, eyes wide. To his credit he managed to control his face, always too open and easy to read, and shrugged with obviously feigned indifference. When he said nothing more she stood easily from the chair and stood next to him.
"I worked over night so I could switch shifts today and have off. I'll drive you home." She told him. He looked grateful. She decided she wouldn't tell him about the conversation she'd had with Elliot, or how Elliot had managed to get Carla to admit that it was Dr. Cox that JD was mooning over.
She sighed and pushed his hair off his forehead. He smiled up at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Perry had two days of peace while JD was out sick.
The exception to that being Barbie's random freak out on the first day which made him think that either Carla or Gandhi had gotten sick of keeping the secret. It wasn't very like Barbie to take a stand, but she'd stood in front of him, breath heaving, her hair hanging in her eyes so that she had to keep trying to blow it out of her face. She'd sputtered something about 'sensies' which made no damned sense to him and she'd squeaked out something that had sounded disturbingly like 'you don't deserve him'. Then she'd stomped off, which would have been made more effective if she hadn't run into Nervous Guy and tripped, sending them both to the floor. He'd walked away after that and the first time he managed to cross paths with Carla she'd turned and hurried in to the other direction.
The second day was much better. Barbie seemed to have decided that she would just ignore him, which for the moment was perfect for him. Carla was back to her disapproving glares and the occasional attempt at having deep conversation.
At least he could just be a doctor. No need to be wary of JD randomly walking into a room, no temptation to drag the kid into the on-call room whenever he ran into him. And he could forget about Jordan and how smug she was being. It was easier, and better, he tried to convince himself, when JD had nothing to do with his life.
The easier part wasn't hard to convince himself of. It was the better part he was struggling with.
He sighed and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. The break room was empty, for which he was grateful, so he'd turned to lights down. The day outside, like the two days before it, was wet and bleak. Autumn was fading into winter, and this far north it brought cold rain, and grey skies.
He thought of his worn, brown hoodie, and it made him think of JD who he knew had taken it.
"You know, sitting here in the dark after your shift isn't going to fix anything." Carla's voice came from the doorway. He didn't turn to look at her; it would only encourage her to continue.
"JD's feeling better." She said. "Well, he's not sick anymore at least." She came around the side of the couch and sat down beside him. Perry looked over at her, then back to the wall ahead of them. "So why don't you talk to me?" She asked.
He snorted, but he could feel her staring at him.
"Why would I?" He asked.
"Because with Ben gone I'm the only one you would talk to." She said bluntly. It made him look at her again.
She was still as beautiful as ever, and that part of him that had cared for her for so long was still there. It would have been better, he thought, if he had just continued wanting her. Easier, by far, to pine away for someone he wanted but couldn't have, then to want someone he could but shouldn't have.
He had stared for too long, she was giving him an odd look. He looked away again.
"What do you want from me?" He snapped. "You want me to cry on your shoulder about how I'm so in love with this really cute guy but I just can't find to courage to ask him to prom, and I'm so scared I won't have a date. And how can I go if I don't have a date, I'd just die of embarrassment." He scoffed. "Not a chance in hell." He crossed his arms over his chest.
Carla shifted on the couch so that she was sitting facing him. She was glaring. Perry met it, unfazed, hiding behind familiar anger and sarcasm.
"Stop being an ass." She told him. "You realize that despite your best efforts to keep this whole thing a secret people are starting to talk. Between that scene with Jordan in the cafeteria, followed by JD's well timed on-call room break down, and all this brooding you're doing while he's off, it's not really hard for the gossips in this place to find a story."
He gave her a look that said she really shouldn't be talking about gossips, since she was one of the worst, but she ignored it.
"Talk to me." She demanded. "Why do you have to make this so hard all the time? You think you have some sort of image to live up to with me? Please." She crossed her arms and watched him. "Look, I know it must be hard, accepting that you care about another man when you've worked your whole life at being a very certain kind of person, but come on. It can't be all that bad."
He stayed silent; it was too near the truth for him to speak. He watched her out of the corner of his eyes.
"If it's hurting both of you, then why keep doing this?" She asked. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "Don't try to tell me you aren't sad. I know you." She said. And she was right. He was going to deny it. "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, or that there won't be people who judge you for it. I'm just saying that it might be worth it."
She was silent then, and he was grateful for it. She was obviously waiting for him to respond to her, but he found that his mouth was dry and even if he had wanted to say something he didn't think that he could.
"Fine. Be a stubborn ass. I know you're hurting just as much as he is." She stood up and began walking towards the door. She stopped and said in a low voice, "He has your sweatshirt. Just in case you wanted to go pick it up from him." Then she was gone, leaving him alone again in the grey silence.
He stared for another few moments at the wall in front of him, the same debate that he'd been having with himself for days raging in his head.
He shivered and finally made a decision; it was cold and he wanted his favorite sweatshirt.
He stood and left the room.
JD was sitting in the tub, the water going luke-warm when someone knocked on the door. For the first time all day he wished someone were home to answer the door for him. He sat in the water for a minute, hoping whoever it was would just go away. But the knocking continued.
He sighed and rose from the bathtub, wrapping a fluffy white towel around his waist and trying to ignore the run of water down his back. He brushed his hair off his forehead and made his way to the door. He opened it partially and peered out, and let out a surprised yelp when he saw the angry face of Dr. Cox staring back at him. He was soaked from the rain outside, water dripping down his face.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, without even thinking. Perry's scowl deepened.
"Open up the damned door, Newbie." He snarled. JD stared for a moment, hand tightening on his towel.
"I'm not feeling well." He said, hating the way his voice got smaller. Something in Perry's face softened so slightly it was hard to see it. If JD hadn't known so well how to read the older doctor he might have missed it. It made is heart beat hard in his chest.
"I know." Was all Perry said. They stared at each other for a long moment before JD finally opened the door all the way.
As Perry stepped in JD was painfully aware of being wrapped in just a towel, barely warm water turned cold in the apartment air running down his back and making him shiver. He put his arms around himself and watched as Perry made his way to the couch. The other man reached down and picked up the hoodie that was balled up on the couch. JD winced. Perry's fingers rubbed the soft brown fabric, and then let the sweatshirt fall back to the couch. He ran his free hand through his wet curls before turning to look at JD.
They stared at each other again, in silence, moments passing by.
He had always been, and probably always would be, amazed at how fast the bigger man could move. One second Perry was standing near the couch, and the next he was in front of JD, pushing him against the cold door. He didn't kiss him, but his lips were so close that they shared breath. Perry's body was a warm heat against him, despite the rain that had soaked his clothes. He stared up into his light eyes and tried to read the violent emotion there.
"What are you doing?" He asked, quiet, so quiet, scared of making Perry run away. Scared, even, of making him stay. Just scared.
"I don't know." Perry answered, and JD heard how many different ways he meant that in the tone of his voice.
Then he moved his lips to cover JD's. JD expected fury. It was Perry's usual response to any insecurity, any doubt. He didn't expect the slow brush of hands over his face, brushing his wet hair back. He didn't expect slow kisses, soft kisses. The hands moved to cup his face gently. He shivered; he couldn't help it, like he couldn't help the low whimper that escaped his lips as they opened to the light insistence of Perry's tongue.
Perry deepened the kiss, his hands moving from JD's face to travel down his back, pulling JD hard against him. JD's hands, which had been slack at his sides, moved up to bury in Perry's wet curls. He tugged lightly and felt Perry press him harder into the door.
Perry tore his lips away and JD heard a low keening sound of disappointment leave his throat before he could stop it. Perry's arms tightened around him and he buried his face in JD's neck, kissing lightly at the warm skin there. It sent shivers down JD's spine. It was nothing, however, to the shaking of Perry's body against his. His hands left Perry's hair and he wrapped his arms around the older man's shoulders.
They stood together for a moment, in silence, listening to each other's breathing.
JD had no idea what was going on, what had caused any of this, and part of him wanted to push Perry away and demand answers. But as usual, that part of him was nothing in comparison to the part of him that just wanted to be touched and wanted to be with Perry. But he knew, he knew, that if he just let this happen, whatever it was, that he would regret it.
It took more self control than he thought he had to brace his hands on Perry's shoulders and push him away. Perry scowled in confusion at him, but let himself be pushed away.
"What are you doing?" JD asked, his voice shaky. He tightened the towel around his waist. He was painfully aware of how cold it was in the room now that a warm body was no longer pressed against him.
"I told you, Priscilla, I don't fucking know." Perry snarled. He wasn't looking at JD; he was staring at the wall, at the spot where just a few weeks ago he'd fucked JD for the last time.
There had been entire nights that JD had spent sitting on the floor, leaned up against that wall, remembering.
"You need to. You need to know. You can't do this to me!" JD cried, his voice getting higher with every word. "You can't play with people like this. You say it's over and that it was only ever about the sex. But then you kiss me in the closet at work and you come after me when my patient dies. And then all the sudden you're making out with Jordan right in front of me. And as if that's not enough now you're here? You're soaking wet and you're kissing me. You can't, you can't, keep doing this to me!" He wished his hands would stop shaking.
Perry didn't move, he didn't even blink, just stared silently at the place in the wall in front of him. His hands were fisted at his sides, and JD wondered uneasily if he was going to hit him.
"I'm not- damn it- I'm not trying to do anything to you." Perry ground out. "I was trying to protect both of us." He ran a hand over his face and finally, finally, looked over at JD. His eyes were red and bloodshot.
"From what?" JD asked, incredulous.
"I know you don't operate completely within reality there, Alice, but even you have to realize the problems that being-." He stopped and seemed to struggle with the words he was looking for. "-with another man- might cause a doctor!" Perry looked away again and JD studied his profile, the throbbing vein in his neck, the hard line of his jaw as he clenched his teeth in irritation.
"I didn't say it was going to be easy. But you didn't have to just walk away and pretend it didn't mean anything." JD said quietly, trying not to let his voice shake, because he was still scared that Perry was going to lose it sometime soon.
"It wasn't supposed to mean anything." Perry answered him, in a voice JD wasn't sure he recognized. It hurt though, to hear those words.
"Then why… why do it? I mean- I wasn't- I didn't push it!" JD defended himself. Because he hadn't, he'd been content to let it all be what it was. To want and never have.
"I have a kid, and an ex-wife, what was I supposed to do?" He demanded.
"Be honest with them! With yourself!" JD snapped back, feeling his temper fraying.
Perry was staring at him again, but looked away when he realized he was caught.
Perry let out a low growl and pushed both of his hands through his still dripping hair. He muttered something that JD didn't quite catch.
"What?" JD asked, anger leaving as quickly as it had come.
"Would you put some clothes on?" Perry growled out, still avoiding looking directly at JD.
JD felt his face flush. Then he thought about how uncomfortable Perry must be, is soaking wet scrubs.
"I have sweats and a shirt that should fit you, if you want to change. If you're staying that long." JD ventured. Perry looked down at himself and frowned.
"Fine." Was all the answer Perry gave. JD sighed and went to get the clothes.
It was easier to think, being dry and warm. Perry stared around JD's bedroom. He should probably be moving into the living room, but JD was still in the bathroom doing god knew what and Perry didn't quite feel like moving from his spot near the window.
It was pouring outside and he knew it was cold rain. His hands were still shaking. And he had no idea what he was doing here. He should never have come.
He jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. He turned to see JD in a pair of sweats standing behind him, still bare chested. At least he wasn't dripping water anymore, although his hair was still a mess of dark wet locks. He hadn't heard the kid come into the room.
The hand on his shoulder moved up his neck until the fingers twined through his hair. It felt good, the light pull, and the warmth of the hand.
JD's other hand moved lightly across his chest to grasp his other shoulder and pull him around. He let himself be turned, until he was facing JD. He looked down at the younger man, whose eyes were bright even in the dark of the bedroom. The hand on his shoulder joined the other in his hair and pulled through the tangled curls. Perry took a deep breath and was accosted by the coconut smell of JD's bath products. He might have snorted once, and made a comment about JD being a girl. But in the darkness of the room, the silence was meant to be broken only the sound of rain on the window and breath catching in throats. And his breath did catch.
His hands, seeming to move of their own volition, made hesitant contact with the bare skin of JD's hips. JD's eyes closed and a low gasp escaped his now parted lips. His skin was warm and soft, Perry spread his fingers wide to touch as much as he could. JD's breath came just the slightest bit faster.
Perry lowered his head, brought his lips against JD's full ones and breathed deeply of the younger man. They were still, silent, for just a moment. Then JD pulled him closer, kissed Perry hard, tongue tasting and practically devouring him. There was anger in it and command and something hard that he'd never felt from JD before. He growled, low in his throat and dug his fingers into JD's hips, moving the kid backwards until he hit the bed and they both tumbled backwards.
He landed above JD and brought his hands to either side of the younger man's face. JD had gone silent and still again, watching Perry's face carefully. It made Perry wonder what he could read there that no one else could.
"You have to mean it." JD whispered, voice trembling, his whole body trembling. "And don't call me a girl." He said, a bit louder, defensively. Perry snorted.
"I wasn't going to." He said, trying to keep his voice low, soft. He wasn't good at this. He wasn't good at being gentle, or soft, or at making promises. But he did mean it, he had to mean it.
He leaned down and kissed JD again, tasting sugar, always sugar in the other man's mouth, on his lips. JD arched up against him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. One leg tangled around Perry's and pulled Perry's hips back down against him. Perry was already hard, achingly hard, he had been since he'd walked in and seen JD soaking wet, wrapped in nothing but a towel. The contact made him growl and kiss JD harder, pressing him hard into the mattress and growling again when he felt JD grind up against him.
The shirt he had just put on was pushed up and he stopped kissing JD only long enough to help him pull it over his head and throw it somewhere across the room. His hands went to JD's hips, and then down to pull at the pants the kid wore. He wanted, desperately, to feel the other man naked against him. JD's own hands were pushing frantically at the sweats he wore.
In a tangle of hands, and lips still moving together, and legs twisting they got their clothing off and finally lay with no barriers between them.
They looked at each other for a moment.
"I mean it. I'm trying hard to mean it." Perry told him firmly. JD stared at him, eyes glittering and wet with the promise of tears. "Don't cry on me, Carol, you'll ruin the mood." He said, but his hand wiped gently under JD's eye.
He leaned down, trailing kisses across JD's jaw, coming to the sensitive skin just below his ear and sucking gently. JD gasped, his nails dug into Perry's shoulders.
Without moving his mouth from the spot it was on he reached over into the bedside table and opened the drawer. He had to rummage, but he found the lube and a condom. JD giggled quietly beside him and he nipped the flesh he'd been licking in retribution. JD inhaled sharply, but his nails dug harder into his shoulders.
He gently pushed JD's shoulder until the younger man lay on his side. He turned his head over his shoulder to look back at Perry. Perry pressed a kiss to his shoulder.
Perry opened the lube and spread it over his fingers, trailing them down between the younger man's legs and pressing lightly against his entrance. The younger man gasped and his hand reached back to grasp at Perry's free hand. Perry took it and squeezed lightly before kissing his way across JD's shoulders. He pushed a finger in, moved it slowly in and out. He only waited a few moments before adding the second, hearing JD's sharp gasp and squeezing the hand in his again.
"Faster." JD whispered, voice strained and tense. He pulled Perry's hand across to his lips and kissed his knuckles. "Please."
Perry groaned and added a third finger, moving slowly still. JD was shaking, his breath coming hard. There was a fine sheen of sweat on his face. Perry could taste it on his skin and he kissed JD's neck.
"It's been a while." Perry said, not wanting to move too fast, not wanting to hurt JD. But JD growled loudly and pressed himself back onto Perry's fingers.
"Too long for you to move this slow. Please, Perry. Please."
It was the 'please' that did it. The pleading in JD's voice. He opened the condom wrapper with his teeth and rolled it over his erection. He rolled JD over and JD wrapped his legs around Perry's hips. Perry removed his fingers from JD and pressed himself against his entrance, pushing in slowly. So slowly, because no amount of 'please' would make him hurt JD.
When he was fully in, blanketed in the tight heat of the younger man, he stopped. JD looked at him, eyes half closed and his mouth opened as he gulped in air. Perry kissed him then, tongue tasting. His arms wrapped around JD, pulling him in close against him. He was hot and damp with sweat. Then Perry moved, a long thrust, feeling JD trembling under him and around him.
JD lifted his hips to meet Perry's thrusts; his arms wrapped around Perry's broad shoulders and held him close.
"Oh god." JD whispered against Perry's lips. "Oh god, Perry." It was almost a sob. Perry buried his head in JD's neck to escape the raw emotion of it.
"JD." He breathed out against his warm neck.
They moved together, slowly, achingly slow, murmuring each other's names. It felt right, so right. There were no questions of who he was or what he was doing. Only the tight heat of JD, the smell of him and the taste. The way JD made his name a soft prayer chanted against his lips. Only hands on his shoulders and legs wrapped around him.
He knew when JD was close; could tell by the way he thrust up harder, the high keening noise that escaped his lips, the way he clutched at Perry's shoulders.
Perry reached a hand between them. It took the barest touch, the smallest amount of pressure and JD was jerking against him, spilling hot and wet between himself and Perry. He squeezed tight around Perry and Perry lost control, thrust hard and fast into JD until he himself came so hard he saw lights behind his eyes and he stopped breathing altogether.
He managed, barely, to keep his full weight off of JD. He pulled out slowly, tossing the condom to the side of the bed and only hoping it made the garbage. JD groaned as he did.
"Don't go." JD said softly. Perry settled in beside him and took him back into his arms.
"I wasn't going to." He said. He kissed JD. JD snuggled in against him, pressing his face into Perry's neck. Perry ran his hands over his back.
"Okay, Newbie?" He asked. JD nodded but was silent. Perry took a deep breath.
"Will you stay the night?" JD asked, voice muffled against his skin.
"Yeah, I'll stay." He promised. JD sighed and his arms loosened their death hold him. His breath was slowing, his trembling stopping. Perry kept moving his hands over him, soothing, calming. With all the gentleness he could muster, which wasn't as much as he might have liked.
It was quiet in the room, and he let his eyes drift shut, his hands finally stilling.
Sleep took them both as the cold rain still fell outside.
Sometime later Perry woke, cold and sticky. He reached blindly, not wanting to open his eyes, to grab a blanket and pull it over them. JD murmured sleepily and snuggled in closer. Perry pressed a soft kiss to his lips and let his head rest back on the pillow. Sticky, he decided, was something he could deal with later.
Author's Note: Yay. Finally. I've been waiting for this chapter. It makes even me happy to see Perry stop being a jackass, though who knows if it will last or how long it will. Hope everyone enjoyed. Sorry for the long wait.
(Thanks for all the reviews. As this chapter took forever and is super long, I'm not going to have time to respond to all of them. I love them and appreciate them though! Thanks so much and I hope you continue to leave them.)