And Nothing Else Matters

He's dead.

He is dead.

Damn it all to hell. My baby b...my baby brother is dead. I wasn't there.

He's lifeless in my arms, motionless. I keep holding him up. For a time I can believe. I can believe that somehow my worst fears are nothing but a dream. But the truth comes pouring in like hellfire from the sky, scorching, unyielding, as Bobby tries to pull Sammy from me.

"Don't you touch him. Don't you dare take him from me. He's going to get up. Damn it. Stand up, Sammy. Come on."

"Dean," Bobby's saying, touching my shoulder.

"Did you kill him?" I asked, my heart cold and dark as any spirit or demon. "Did you kill that son of bitch?" I yell. It's getting difficult to hold him up, but nothing, not anything is going to pull Sam away from me unless it's Sam himself.

"He's gone, Dean."

I try to stand, taking Sammy, with me, but my knees are shaking too badly. Still I try, sliding in the mud while holding my baby brother. "Bobby, you go, you go kill. I mean. You make sure you ventilate him."

"Dean."

"Damn it, I can't do it myself. I've got to make sure he gets up. You hear me?"

"Dean, we've got to go. There's too much going on here. We're vulnerable."

And I'm on my feet, grabbing Bobby's collar and holding him in the air. "If you won't do it then I will."

It hits me and I drop Bobby and then go to my knees. Sammy has slumped to the ground, his eyes lidded but not all the way closed. He could be sleeping if it weren't for that stillness. Nothing should be so still.

Bobby hunkered down and hefted Sam over his shoulder, like a sack of potatoes. And headed for the Impala. I follow, because where Sam goes, I go. It's instinct. Nothing more, because that's all I have left.

I had one duty, one order. Take care of Sammy. Nothing else mattered.

"I can do this anymore."

"Dean, something huge is coming. End of the world, huge," Bobby reminded gently. "The killing isn't going to stop with Sammy, Dean. Hunters need to unite, if the world's going to make it through this."

"I don't care," I snapped. "I don't care. Because he's dead. Nothing else matters but killing that son of a bitch that murdered my brother."

I'm going to save you, Sammy, if it's the last thing I do.

"I've fought and I've fought," I mumbled. "I walked away from...everything." God, why hadn't he just let the Djinn take him. "And it didn't mean a thing. Bobby, I can't do this. There's only one hunt left...and then that's the end for me."

"Most likely all of us."

Nothing Else Matters

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

Metallica