"This is just ludicrous! Jonah, I know that you've accused Spider-Man for being responsible for a lot of things in the past but being the one to trigger all this madness?!"

"This is simply the climax to Spider-Man's hidden agenda!! All these years, he's been building up something and now he's unleashing it on the world. Once this dies down, he steps in and swiftly sets up his own world order with minimal fuss from any possible resistance."

"Just think for a second! Do you honestly think that he's capable of this?"

"Of course he is! He probably played the part of a hero long enough to gain the trust of other legitimate heroes like the Avengers or the Fantastic Four and get access to vital resources! Robbie, you really need to sharpen up those instincts of yours if you're going to make it as my successor."

"Jonah, you seem to have forgotten that we're here to print facts from an objective point of view with minimum bias. When you remember that purpose, then we'll talk."

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SLAM!

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BUNG!

"What am I doing? I shouldn't be arguing with Jonah at a time like this. We need to think of some way to help the people. Maybe…"

DING!

"Sorry, folks. I forgot something back there."

"You want us to hold the elevator door for you, Mr. Robertson?"

"You go on ahead. I'll grab another ride later."

DING!

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SQUEEEAK

"Jonah? Look, I'm…"

THWIP!

SLAM!

"What the hell?!?"

THWIP!

"Ooof!!"

MUNCH

MUNCH

"How's it going, Robbie? BURP Excuse me."

"Spider-Man?!? Oh my god…"

SQUELCH

GULP

"Sheesh… J.J. never really gives anything for fair value, does he?"

MUNCH

MUNCH

"First, there's how he undervalues some of the pictures I present to him."

MUNCH

SQUELCH

GULP

"Then he undervalues other things I bust my butt off for. Even now, his corpse doesn't give a lot of tasty value!! I mean, although Aunt May wasn't exactly a large helping, at least her aged flesh gave my taste buds a unique and tasty experience!"

MUNCH

MUNCH

"… Peter?"

"No use hiding it anymore, I guess. It's me, Robbie. Good old Peter Parker, staff photographer at the Bugle. A funny thing happened to me on the way to work…."

My first take at writing a pure dialogue/onomatopoeia fic. I hope it went well.

I will be adding more random tales whenever I have the time and the muse for it.