Disclaimer: I own nothing of Naruto, oh wait, I do have some DVD's ….
A Plan is Born
Kiba watched the young couple walking along the market place, they didn't appear to be talking at all. Not so unusual for Chouji, but for Ino it was probably an act of providence. He watched them pass without interrupting, well, their silence. Even Akamaru whined and hid his eyes as the couple passed, the emotional pressure roiled off the two like a storm about to strike.
"Tch." Kiba turned to look at his teammate, Shino. He was used to his friend's taciturn ways and he knew that he should wait for Shino to feel like talking. But Kiba wasn't one for delayed gratification.
"Tell me." He whined.
Shino sighed, knowing that Kiba would keep whining until he got what he wanted. But this time, well, he just didn't know what to say other than the truth, "I have no idea."
"Well, I do." Sakura walked up behind them, smiling sadly at both young men. "Chouji caught her kissing someone else."
"…." Shino looked down the street toward the departing non-couple.
Kiba sighed, "but I thought they didn't want to get married."
Sakura shrugged, "They don't. But ever since Shikamaru went and got betrothed to that Temari, well, it got all strange. Ino's mother was all upset with her about not trying to snag Nara, despite the fact they see each other like brother and sister. And only a blind person could miss the chemistry between Shikamaru and Temari. But then Chouji's mom was consoling Ino's mom and BAM, suddenly they're betrothed too."
Kiba knew that both Ino and Chouji had argued the match to both sets of parents, but to no avail. As teammates they suited each other extremely well, which seemed to be all that their parents could see. However, to be married to each other, well – it was something neither wanted.
"So why is Ino so upset? Chouji's not jealous is he?" Kiba asked, bewildered, only to earn a smack on the head by the pink-haired girl.
Sakura snorted, "Hardly. But the plan was to have Chouji and his parents catch Ino kissing another man, then everyone would start yelling and they would break the engagement. But Chouji's not a good liar and his parents saw right through it all. They only laughed at her saying her kiss with 'that guy' was lame and passionless and 'see, Chouji knows it's fake.'" Now Ino's furious that Chouji couldn't act jealous enough to fool anyone.
Kiba sighed, "Not good. Now I have to go shopping for a wedding present."
Shino turned to stare at him. It was more than a little unnerving, he never could figure out what was going on behind those glasses.
"Someone has to seduce Ino into kissing them."
Sakura laughed, "they tried that, Chouji's parents saw through …"
Shino held up a hand to stop her. "No. Not pretend. Neither Ino nor Chouji could pull this off. If. They. Knew. About. It."
Kiba's jaw dropped and Sakura whistled, impressed.
"Chouji's parents must absolutely believe that Ino's heart belongs to another. She has to be seen to be head over heels with someone else. Then a month or so later, after it's all over and Ino knows about it, then they can quietly break-up."
"Someone will die." Kiba shook his head, "whoever seduces Ino like that …"
"You're missing the point. It wouldn't be to get Ino into bed, just into some heated kissing. She'll forgive that once we explain it to her. But only afterwards, or it won't work."
"Someone will still die, this is Ino we're talking about here." Kiba retorted. "Remember Ino? She of the blond fury and shrieking lungs? Someone will definitely die by the end of all this."
"No," Shino smiled nastily, "you'll die."
"Me????" Squeaked a suddenly appalled Kiba. "Why the fuck choose me?" Akamaru whined and hid his face in Kiba's hand as he absentmindedly comforted his friend.
Sakura suddenly grinned, "It's perfect! Sasuke should be the one, and for once I'm glad he's not here for me to lose to Ino. Chouji and Shikamaru are out for obvious reasons. Neji is out on a mission and would probably never agree anyway. Lee and Naruto would never be believable, they'd spill the secret before an hour is over. Besides Naruto is still missing-in-action with his sensei."
"What about Shino?" Kiba pointed at his teammate in utter desperation.
"Ino hates bugs." Was his teammate's smug response.