I just like
I just like to
I just like to waste
I just like to waste space.
Grim growled as he got up from the sofa. "Who da heck could dat be, and why did dey have to interrupt me favorite show?" He opened the door.
"Hey, Grim! Is Dad here?"
Grim's sockets widened. "Uh…no…he's at work. But you can come in if you like."
The visitor nodded and entered the house. "I didn't know Dad had a job."
"Oh, he goes t'rough jobs like toilet paper, mon. Just like his dad."
"What about Mom? Is she here?"
Grim stared at him. "I didn't know you considered Mandy your mother."
The visitor shrugged. "It just makes sense to me."
"Uh…very well. Lucky for you, it's her day off." He led the visitor to the kitchen, where Mandy was. She was sitting at the table with a newspaper and a coffee mug. "Um, Mandy? We…have a visitor…"
Mandy looked up from her newspaper and did a spit take (AKA she spit out the coffee in her mouth). "Jeff?"
Jeff grinned. "Hey, Mom!"
Mandy's eyes were almost as big as her head. "Grim? How much sand did you add to Jeff's hourglass?"
"Apparently, way too much," Grim said.
"Yeah. About 20 years too much," Mandy scolded, but she calmed herself down when she turned to Jeff. "Make yourself at home, Jeffy-boy."
The giant spider nodded. "Okay!" He walked into the living room.
Mandy turned to the skeleton. "How do we explain this to Scott and Penelope?"
"Heck, how do we explain dis to Billy?" Grim added.
A few hours later, Scott and Penelope came home from school.
Scott was the first to spot Jeff on the sofa next to Grim. He stopped in his tracks.
"What's wrong, Scott?" Penelope asked. Scott turned her head toward Jeff. Both sets of eyes widened and both sets of feet side-stepped into the kitchen.
"Uh, Mom?" Scott asked when he saw Mandy, who was still reading the same newspaper.
"Yep?" she said, not looking up.
"You do know there's a giant black widow spider in our living room, right?"
"Is there any real reason why he's here?"
"Is it because of Dad?"
"Lucky guess!" Penelope gleamed.
"Well, who else would he be here for?" Scott replied to Penelope.
Scott turned back to his mother. "So…why is he here?"
Mandy finally looked up from the newspaper. "He thinks Billy is his father. Long story. Don't wanna talk about it."
Penelope and Scott looked at each other, and then back at Mandy. "Don't wanna know, either," they said simultaneously. They walked back into the living room. "Uh…hi?" Scott said reluctantly to Jeff.
Jeff turned to them. "Hi!" Then he turned to Grim and whispered: "Who are the ugly kids?"
Grim chuckled. "Doz little monsters are Scott and Penelope. Dey're Billy and Mandy's…er…offspring."
"So…they're my brother and sister?"
"Uh…sort of…I guess…I mean, if dat's what you want to believe…"
Jeff grinned and turned to the two kids. "Hi! I'm Jeff! I'm your brother!"
"Cool!" Penelope shouted.
"Does this make me the middle child?" Scott asked.
"Now, run along children!" Grim said. "I want to watch me stories. No more interruptions, okay?"
Scott and Penelope nodded and ran off.
When they were gone, Jeff smacked himself in the head. "Wait a minute! I laid eggs! I'd be their sister then, right?"
"Eh, it's best dey don't know about dat…"