When some couples lie in bed at night, at some time or another they usually come to the 'what would you do if I died' or 'would you remarry if I died' conversation. Whether it be out of concern, curiosity, or jealousy the question was always there.
Sasuke could never understand why people had this weird obsession over death. If you're trying to fall asleep after just getting back from a weeklong B rank mission, death was the last thing you'd want to talk about. Or so he thought. Apparently, a very restless blond didn't share his opinion on the subject.
"Where do you want me to bury you when you die?" Naruto suddenly sat up, breaking out of Sasuke's arms.
Said Uchiha frowned but didn't sit up. Too tired. "I don't see how it matters unless you plan on killing me sometime soon."
What kind of person brought up that kind of thing at two thirty in the morning? No one sane. Nobody in the right mind would even be up at this time of night.
The blond looked up at the ceiling. "It doesn't really matter where you bury me. Just as long as it's not in some radioactive land fill." He paused a moment and then added, " Actually, I don't care if it's not radioactive. No land fills."
Sasuke didn't reply this time. He was attempting to do the impossible; sleep and ignore the talkative man beside him.
"Hey, teme. Are you listening or not?" Naruto growled quietly and poked the raven-haired male in the shoulder. It was less of a poke, though, and more of a violent jab. Such a soft touch like a poke wouldn't wake up his stubborn friend. He knew that much.
"…No…" The Uchiha groaned and brushed away the future Hokage's tanned hand.
"I want to be buried in a public cemetery. Oh! Then you can be next to me after you die… Hopefully. Can you reserve spots? I don't want my body to be next to some weird old person." His cerulean eyes were concentrated on his silent audience of one. He obviously wasn't going to just let the topic die as Sasuke wished.
"What's wrong with old people? You won't know who's next to you anyways. You're dead." Sasuke sighed and pushed himself into a sitting position next to Naruto. He remembered when he used to actually sleep in his bed. Good times.
Naruto smiled. If you just kept talking, then eventually you'd get the person's attention. "Nothing's wrong with them. I just want my body next yours is all."
The blond's smile vanished immediately. "What do you mean 'no'?"
"I mean that I'm getting cremated." Sasuke replied blandly. His hands lay almost lifelessly in his lap.
"Cremated? Why would you go do that? Then you'll be dirt and people will step on you."
"You're in the ground, too. It's not like anyone's going to walk around your grave." The Uchiha snorted.
"There's a difference from being in the ground and being on the ground. People won't step on me since I'm like… a ways under. You'll be on the surface." Naruto informed.
"I won't feel it. I'm dead."
"You're get stuck on people's feet."
"You could be in Suna and here at the same time. Two people could be stepping on you, then."
"Animals will piss on you."
"They have to pee, too, y'know." Naruto huffed and glared over at the Uchiha.
Sasuke glared back at Naruto while replying. "Once all your flesh decays someone could come and dig you up and make you into a wind chime. Do you want to be a wind chime?"
"…No." The blond replied quietly, frowning. Where the hell did the guy get that?
"And even if you aren't made into a wind chime, you're not safe."
Naruto rolled his eyes and decided to humor the raven-haired male. "How so?"
"When they need land to build on they'll go and dig the whole cemetery up and dump your remains in a ditch." Sasuke answered tonelessly.
"Is that so."
"And then people will come and take your bones out of the ditch to make wind chimes."
"Damn. I thought I got out of that, too."
"I'm serious, dobe."
Then there was silence as they each contemplated the other's words. Obviously, neither of their two options sounded very appealing.
Minutes went by and still no sound was made, the soothing stillness that filled the room becoming mildly uncomfortable. That was when Naruto finally spoke.
"Maybe… When they burn you…"
"Cremate." Sasuke corrected.
"Can they put you in a coffin?"
The Uchiha raised a brow. "What would be the point of that?"
"Suna's sorta far away… It… When I get buried, I still want you next to me." The blue-eyed blond murmured quietly. He was thumbing the blanket on his lap nervously.
"I'll just be dust."
"Dust in a coffin."
"That'd be expensive."
Naruto grinned and laid back down, pulling Sasuke with him. After rediscovering the spot in which he had been resting in before he had sat up, he wrapped his tan arms around the Uchiha's stomach.
"What do you care? You're dead."
Ch'yeah. I know it's not the best thing in the world, and it's short, but still.
Review and criticize
I want to get better at this.