Title: Everyone Leaves
Disclaimer: Just having fun.
Warnings: One little curse word. Sorry, but I needed to drop the F-Bomb somewhere. Okay, it's sad. Deals with Sam's 'death' because I might just have to have a chit-chat with Mr. Kripke is our Sammy is really gone. Oh, and spoilers up to and including the trailer for All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2.
A/Ns: At the end of the story.
Bobby is driving the car. Dean thinks, 'Only Winchesters ever drive this car.'
His body can't seem to stop shaking and Dean thinks, 'It ain't even cold out.'
Bobby is saying something to him, but Dean decides that since Sam can't hear him, he can't hear Bobby either and Dean ignores every word out of the older hunter's mouth.
Sam is lying next to him, and he's not breathing, and Dean thinks that Sam should have left him back in the warehouse with that damn djinn.
Sammy is dead and Dean thinks, 'Everyone leaves.'
You didn't even fight, Sam. You… you just gave up.
And I… I should have been there sooner. I'm sorry. I should have gotten there sooner.
Bobby is trying to tell me something about the world coming to an end or something like that.
Seems fitting, really.
Mine ended when you stopped breathing.
Damn it, Sam. Why'd you have to die, huh? Why?
I should'a stayed in that warehouse with that freaking genie, with Mom and Carmen and you and Jess… You'd have lived a full life there. I wouldn't have to feel this. I wouldn't have to know the pain of your death because, damn Sammy, it hurts so much.
Maybe if I'd have stayed there… maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Bobby's talking about what to do with you. With your body. So you don't come back.
But I won't burn you, Sam. Not yet. Not until this is over. Not a moment before. I'll end this for you.
I hate you, you know that?
You're a goddamn selfish jerk and you always have been. How could you die like that? You're stronger than that, Sam. I know you are. I've seen you through worse.
I hate you for this. I hate you. You and Dad both. How could you leave me alone? Keeping this family together was the only thing I've ever wanted for myself and you two have to screw it all over. Dad making a deal with that damn demon and you being too damn good. You should'a just killed that bastard, Sammy… I don't care if it would'a pushed you to the dark side because you'd still be alive. I could save you from darkness, but I can't bring you back from the dead. That's the one thing I just can't do. And I hate you for going to the one place I can't pull your ass back from.
Wait. Wait. No. I'm sorry. I don't hate you, Sammy. I don't. I'm sorry. I don't hate you.
I just… I don't… God, it just hurts so bad.
Protecting you was my job, Sam. Remember? Taking care of my pain in the ass kid brother. That's what I do… did… whatever. That was my one and only job and I failed and I lost you and I don't know how to recover from that.
I don't know if I can.
I wish it was me. I wish it was me a million times over.
I must be cursed or something.
Bobby is talking about the end of the world and Dean thinks, 'Let it end.'
He's talking about duties and promises and what Sam would want. Dean lifts his head and informs Bobby that, "You don't have a freaking clue as to what my brother wanted. Sam wanted a normal life! He wanted to go to law school! He wanted to marry Jessica and live in a neighborhood with a white picket fence, golden retrievers and two kids! But all that went up in smoke and now he's dead! He's dead and I don't care about demons or obligations or any of that hunter crap anymore! The world can go ahead end for all that I care. I'm not fighting anymore."
Dean is storming out the front door and Bobby lets his eyes fall on Sam's body, still growing colder as it lies on the couch in his living room. He thinks, 'God help, him.' And he's not talking about Sam, because he's pretty sure that Winchester is a lost cause by now.
He grabs a blanket off the rocker and spreads it over Sam's body and for some reason it makes him feel a little bit better.
He sits staring into the fire and pretends he can't hear Dean cursing and crying outside in the rain.
Dean is on his knees, and it's raining but he can't feel the cold penetrate his jacket because he's been cold since they brought Sam back to the cabin and he doesn't think there's any chance he'll be warm again soon.
If only they'd driven faster. If he'd decoded that freaky vision faster instead of focusing on his own pain. He could have made it in time, if only he'd tried harder.
He's wearing one of Sam's jackets, Bobby had grabbed it for him by mistake because, "Boy, you're shivering," and Dean hadn't bothered to grab his own. It was too long but it smelled like Sam when everything Sam seemed to slipping through his fingers.
"What am I supposed to do now, huh?" Dean yells. "Because I'm all out of answers and I don't see any reason to keep going. You were my reason, Sam. It was my job to look out for you… my purpose was to save you from whatever evil thing was trying to take you and I let some freak kill you. I fucked up big time and I have no clue where to go from here.
"You weren't supposed to go out like that. You were supposed to die fat, in your bed, surrounded by grandkids with a beautiful wife that loved you. I was the one supposed to go out in the blaze of glory. We both know I won't live to thirty and I'm not much of a family man, that was always your bit… I can't… I don't belong in society Sam. You're the only one who ever had a chance at normal."
The expression on his face suddenly changes. "I'm going to find you." And somehow, he know the yellow-eyed Demon is listening. "And you're going to bring him back. I know you can do it. I know my Dad made a deal with you to save me. Now it's my turn." He stands up and wipes his face with his sleeve, wiping away rain and tears and sweat. "What makes me so special, huh?" He asks. "That everyone keeps dying to save me? Why does death keep missing me and finding everyone I care about? I'm going to make the sacrifice this time. It's my turn." He looked up. "Bring my brother back and you can have me."
"Dean!" Bobby opens the front door, phone in hand. "Get inside before you catch pneumonia. Ellen is on the phone."
"Ellen?" Dean yells over the thunder. "She's alright?"
"She and Jo made it out…" He pauses and looks over the last remaining Winchester. "She's got information… about the Demon."
Dean holds out his hand for the phone and Bobby reluctantly hands it over. "Ellen?" Dean asks. "What do you know? I got a bone to pick with this bastard."
I must be cursed or something.
But maybe I can get you back.
Whatever it costs, Sam. I'm going to fix this.
A/N: So, first off, AHBL Part 1 was honestly the hardest Supernatural episode to watch. Not only did Andy and Ash (my favorite reoccuring characters) both die. The obvious, duh, Sam's death scene was so just... absolutely heartbreaking that I honestly felt ill.
A/N Part Two: So, this is healing for me. Wednesday, a good friend of mine lost her little brother. He was crossing the road and a truck driver ran him over. It was honestly just a freak thing, neither of them were paying attention and it was really no one's fault. He was only sixteen and his death rocked our school. His funeral was in the church down the road from me and our neighborhood has never been so packed. So, that episode was just like salt in an open wound and rehashed all these feelings. I just let my fingers scream out my emotions so if this is jarbled, its because that's the way I feel right now. Today was honestly the craziest day of my life. Friends of the kid who died, threatened to come to school with guns and shoot everyone they saw. Half the school left, everyone with cars, and we had the entire sheriff department outside with bulletproof vests, the news crew, and they were searching anyone who entered the building in case they had a weapon. I've never been scared to go to school before.