I Will Always Find You by Gina

Rating: R

Copyright: 2007

Pairing: Willow/Tara

Distribution: please ask

Feedback: yes please

Disclaimer: I own nothing in nor make any money from the stories I write, all characters belong to their rightful creators. Any character that I may create is mine and may not be used without asking but who would want to use one of my creations!

Summary: It has been three long years since Willow's home caved in but one thing remains steadfast, her love for Tara.

A/N I had this idea in my story "A New Beginning" but it went in a different direction, which called for the rewrite of a chapter there and this idea to be taken out. So here it is in a story all its own.

Chapter One

Willow and Kennedy were relaxing in their Santa Monica California apartment. They had called this place home for the last nine months and Willow couldn't have been happier to settle in one place. She was the head of locating new slayers for the newly formed watchers council, among other things. Her main jobs minus slayer hunting were keeping track of the council's finances and education of the girls.

Though the number of new slayers had slowed tremendously, Willow still had to search the globe on a frequent basis in the event that one should crop up. She then would pass the information along to Giles, who would delegate the task of approaching said slayer to Kennedy or Dawn. Buffy and his job was training the new slayers as well as running the slayer academy. The school was located in a small town away from most evil happenings and Andrew was on hand to help with cleaning, cooking and other small tasks. It was Faith and Xander's job to protect the latest hellmouth in Cleveland and occasionally, a new slayer would join them for proper field training. Upon the successful training of a new slayer, Robin and a few other watchers then take them to different locations around the world to protect an assigned area.

Kennedy placed a few kisses on Willow's lips to try to bring her back from wherever her thoughts were at tonight. Willow's thoughts had seemed somewhere else on an infrequent basis throughout their entire relationship, but it seemed more frequent for the last week. "Willow, is something wrong?" Kennedy asked her girlfriend with a tinge of worry in her voice. She hoped that it wouldn't be the problem that she hated to hear about with a passion. The haunting memory of Tara Maclay got more action in their relationship then Kennedy did most times and it was slowly eating away at the slayer.

"No," Willow replied shortly. "It's just been a hectic week with doing the taxes and all. Giles is trying to come up with a way to generate some more income and that's not going so well. I'm having to decide whose credit card to cut down and so forth also." It was true that Willow was fussing with all of these things but that was not what was weighing so heavily on her mind. She hated skirting around things with Kennedy but the fear that Kennedy instilled in her forced her to do it.

"I bet that will be Buffy and Dawn's," Kennedy chirped with a smile. She was relieved to know that Willow's stress didn't involve Tara Maclay this time.

"I think you're right," Willow said and forced a smile. "They do way to much shopping that isn't necessary."

Kennedy leaned over and put her arms around Willow. As she began to take the kissing to the next level, she could feel the tension in Willow's muscles. There was something different in how Willow responded to her advances and Kennedy didn't like it much. "Willow, what is it now?" The angered slayer asked in an exasperated tone.

Willow and Kennedy had a good relationship for the most part but sometimes it wasn't so good. Willow had tried to avoid the subject of Tara with Kennedy ever since that night last winter when Kennedy had grown overly upset about the subject. They had been about to make love when Willow had one of her frequent memories of something that had been plaguing her mind since the first made itself known in Sunnydale. The night the first had appeared to everyone, it took the form of a loved one who had died at some point in their lives. When the first appeared to her, it was in the form of Cassie Newton rather than that of Tara. This notion poked up in Willow's mind often and she wondered why the first never appeared as her beloved Tara.

Kennedy had erupted and shoved Willow hard once Willow had told her that she was thinking of Tara. Willow didn't blame her in the least because, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fully move on from Tara. Kennedy had to be at her wits end over this, thus Willow was understanding of the outburst. Nevertheless, to keep it from happening gain, Willow had tried to avoid speaking Tara's name in Kennedy's presence.

"It's nothing Kennedy," Willow said and got up from the sofa. "I'm just overwrought with everything that's going on. I think a hot bath will do me some good."

"Would you like some company?" Kennedy asked but knew the answer. She knew that something more than work was on Willow's mind and knew that it was Tara. A rage threatened to make its way to the forefront but Kennedy suppressed it for the time being. How long would she have to fight against the memory of a dead woman?

"No," Willow said a little more quickly then she had planned. "I won't be long and then we can have some wine and a nice evening."

Kennedy was visibly upset at Willow's quick response but decided to play the game. "All right," she huffed and got up to get a strong drink.

As Willow made her way into the bathroom, she opened her flip phone and dialed Buffy. "Hey, did you get a reason to get Kennedy out of here for a couple of days?" Willow asked her friend in a hopeful tone of voice.

"Yes but Will," Buffy started to ask the question and then stopped. "Look, if something is going on with the two of you…"

"It's nothing that I can't handle Buffy." Willow said softly. "She didn't push me again if that's what you are asking."

Buffy's face contorted into a look of rage at Willow's last statement. She had first thought the two of them would get on well together but not anymore. Ever since Willow had confided the pushing incident to Buffy, she had wanted them to separate. She had also wanted to come and stomp a hole in the ground with Kennedy's body but Willow wouldn't let her get physically involved. "Look, I know that you need to move on from Tara Will but I'm so not thinking that it's with Kennedy."

"Neither am I," Willow said softly. She was unwilling to tell Buffy of her plan because Buffy would think that she was crazy and revert back to rooting for Kennedy. "Buff, I have put her through enough and I'm afraid to tell her its over because of her temper. I need this couple of days to get some things sorted out."

Buffy knew her friend well enough to know that Willow was keeping something from her. "I'll call Kennedy and get her out of there tonight." Buffy said and hung up the phone. She had also made the decision to travel to LA and see what was going on with Willow.

- - - - - -

Willow turned off the shower and stepped out. A soft knock at the door hurried her task of drying off. "Will," Kennedy said and stepped into the bathroom. "I see you opted for a shower."

She put her hands on her girlfriend's bare breasts and smiled. "Look, Buffy just called and I have to go shortly." She moved in for a kiss as she fondled Willow's firm breasts. "I was hoping that we could have a little intimacy before I leave."

Willow knew that if she turned Kennedy down now, it could blow up into something ugly. She returned Kennedy's kisses and gave her a fake smile. She truly felt bad for always placing Kennedy second but Kennedy knew the score. She knew that Willow's true love was and always would be Tara. She knew that Willow would never get over the beautiful blonde and made the decision to stay. Now there was the possibility that Willow wouldn't have to keep trying to get over the blonde and she vowed to not string Kennedy along after tonight.