Disclaimer: Stargate and it's components are not owned be me. They are owned by some other guys, like MGM and Gecko and something else that I always forget...but yeah...not owned by me.

Rating: M...kinda...there is mention of suicide, so that's why I'm giving it an M...mention, hint..not...doing...so yeah, still...gave it an M because of that.

Song Title: Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Background info: Having only ever seen 5 episodes after Season 8, and of course, Unending (gotta love illegal downloads), it's a bit confusing, my version is waaaay different to what actually happened in the show. But basically. Jack still went to the Pentagon, but got bored, retired and went fishing. Sam stayed at the SGC, with Daniel, Vala and Teal'c, umm, what else, oh yeah, Mitchell, not in this, never liked him much...actually in the 5 episodes I have seen he annoyed the crap outta me. I LOATHE him after watching Unending...did he try to help Sam AT ALL!...nooo he sat around and moped... -rant over-. Umm, yeah I think that about covers it all, the rest is explained in the story.

So, this is something that I came up with at work last night, and have been writing it all day. It sorta got stalled after I finished with the lyrics, but at midnight I got another idea...so here I am at 3am posting the finished story. Hence the inane ramblings of me. I realise Sam is a bit OOC, but uhh yeah, I do hope you can forgive me for that.

As always, reviews are much appreciated. Wanted. Needed even, for my continued existence. Okay, tad melodramatic there, but you get the idea. You do don't you?


As Sam pulled her jacket tighter around her body, her head bent against the fierce icy wind that chilled her to the bone, she kicked at the snow that lay on the ground, too deep for the bus to get through, but she had traversed over worse terrain in her career, and so she continued to plow her way through the snow that covered the pitted and rough road that lay beneath, that stretched behind her…and stretched in front of her.

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

It was nearly midnight, she didn't need to check her watch to know, but after years of being in the Air Force, you develop a pretty good internal clock. And this internal clock was nearly at 12. Midnight. The irony of which did not escape Sam as she gave a small laugh, the icy wind bearing it away on its wings.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

Tearing her eyes away from the snow that crunched beneath her feet, she glanced up briefly, the road stretching before her, lined with the forlorn frames of trees that bent and rallied against the wind, fighting to stay upright.


I walk alone
I walk alone

It had been…over 4 years since her father had died. Since Pete. Since General O'Neill had transferred, he hadn't lasted long at the Pentagon. Daniel was gone. Killed in an Ori attack just a few weeks after his wedding to Vala. She was gone too. Distraught over his death, she had simply wasted away in front of them. Teal'c was still around, he dropped by every week, mainly to make sure Sam was still eating, but it was nice to hear from him. To hear about Rya'c, and she had been shocked when he had last stepped through the Stargate, holding a bundle of joy in his arms, a grin as wide as the Ocean on his face. His first Grand-child.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Teal'c might be still around, but she had been…craving something more. She missed the friendship of Janet. Cassie, for a time, had become that empty space that Janet's death had left her with, but eventually she too had gone. She needed space. Time to think. She had been in England now for over a year, and had only called once to tell Sam that she had met a guy and was getting married. Just like everyone else in her life. She too had left.

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Sometimes she felt like she was going crazy, cooped up in that mountain for weeks at a time. Trying to come up with the next miracle answer to whatever problem someone had. A fine like she often walked, and the only release she ever got was when she locked herself in her closet and cried, her knees drawn up to her chin and her arms wrapped tightly around them as she gently rocked backwards and forwards until sleep finally overtook her.

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

Sometimes, late at night, when the base was silent, the lights switched off in her lab, lit only by the many little lights that flashed from the 'doohickey's that surrounded her. That kept her sane, and yet were why she was thinking of that gun in her drawer. How easy it would be to end this now. To pull it out. Load a bullet. Put it to her temple. And pull that trigger.

I walk alone
I walk alone

She would be alone no more.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Often she would find herself standing on a precipice. Looking down in the darkened depths of the ravine. Wishing. Hoping. Wanting. Needing. Just for someone to hear her screaming in despair. For someone to rescue her.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

Glancing up again as the wind died down, the trees ceasing in their movement as tiny silver speckles began floating majestically down from the sky, settling in her hair and brushing over her face as the cold started to creep past her jacket, her bones starting to ache from the constant chill. She had had so many dreams when she had walked into that briefing room over a decade ago, fresh and eager from a stint at the Pentagon. Some dreams had been fulfilled. Some dreams had been forgotten. And new dreams had started.


My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

As she stumbled over the snow for a few paces she heard a clanking behind her and turning slightly she noticed the snow plow moving slowly up the road. Stepping out of the way, she noticed the truck following it's progress. A truck she knew only too well. As the plow passed her, sweeping the snow to one side and revealing the rough and pitted road beneath the truck drew to a halt beside her as the passenger door opened and a figure that was achingly familiar clambered out.

"M'am…are you…Carter!" he began as Sam turned to face him, his dark brown eyes clouding suddenly as he realized how cold she must be, "Jesus, what the hell are you doing out here?" he asked no-one as he gently tugged her into his car, the warmth within not even penetrating her chilled hull as she shivered violently, dripping wet droplets all over the seat.

Clunking the car into gear, he pressed his foot on the accelerator and started slowly driving along, glancing every now and then at the figure huddled in the passenger seat, shivering with cold. Asking no questions he drove on into the night, as fast as he could go in the wet conditions.

As he pulled up out the front of his cabin, he gave a friendly wave at the snowplow as it turned around and headed back towards the main road. Climbing out of his truck as Sam fumbled at the door, her hands not following the instructions her brain was trying to send. Pulling the door open he gathered her into his arms, her shivering so violent that it trembled through her body, her teeth clattering in her mouth as Jack staggered towards the door to his cabin and kicked the door open with his foot.

"We gotta get you warm Carter." He mumbled as he carried her into his small lounge room and settled her shivering form on the couch. She just stared wide at him as he chewed his lip nervously for a second before he turned to start a fire in the hearth. As the fire roared into life, the flames licking greedily at the wood he turned to find Sam, curled in the corner of the couch, her knees drawn to her chin as she slowly rocked backwards and forwards, her damp hair clinging to her face as she shivered violently.

"Shit…" he mumbled as he strode over and began unbuttoning her damp jacket, her small whimper halting his progress as she looked into his eyes questioningly, "Your clothes are wet, we gotta get you outta them otherwise you're not going to warm up." He explained gently, his brows furrowed as her head dropped from his gaze and stared into the flames as he continued pulling her clothes off.

Gulping slightly as he removed her jacket, he realized that her top would have to come off too as that was soaked through. Taking a deep breath he gently began to peel the material away from her damp skin, his fingers trembling slightly as they grazed over her stomach, his breathing hitching in his throat as Sam lifted her arms willingly to allow him to peel it completely from her body. Bending down next to the couch he gently began working on removing her boots, unlacing them and gently sliding them off her feet as she swung around, her legs coming to rest on either side of his body as she began shivering again, droplets of water running down her face and onto the floor.

"You okay?" he asked huskily, as he struggled to regain his composure. She nodded slightly as she began fumbling with the zipper on her pants, still struggling to listen to her mind as her hands were covered by his own, "Let me?" he asked as she drew her hands away in acceptance of his request, another bout of shivering taking hold of her body, smiling apologetically as she sprayed him with droplets of icy water.

Drawing the zipper down, his hands rested momentarily on her hips before he gently began pulling her wet jeans from her body, sliding them down her legs, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. After disposing of the jeans, he stood up, pulling her with him, and lead her towards the fire, "You sit here, I'll bring blankets." He said quietly as she immediately complied, sinking to the floor and drawing her knees to her chest once again.

Stripping the heavy blanket from his bed he piled some pillows into his arms as well, his mind lost in thought. Why was she here…after all this time…why now…even when Daniel had died, he'd attended the service but she had been so distant. He had tried to talk to her, but she had merely brushed him away, seeking solace in her lab and her doohickey's. Carrying the blankets into the warming room he gently laid the pillows down on the floor, grateful of the thick rug that they could lie on.

"Sam?" he suddenly asked, as he noticed tears running down her cheeks, his heart silently breaking at the sight.

"I just…need to get…warm." She stuttered out, her teeth still chattering loudly as she lay down on the pillow, her front facing the fire as Jack silently stripped of his own clothes, knowing that she needed body heat from behind as well as from the fire in front. Kneeling behind her he gently drew the blanket over her shivering form as he spooned behind her, drawing her in as close as possible to his warmth.

"I…should have told you…" Sam mumbled as she finally began to warm up, the long lean body that curled up behind her fitted so perfectly to her own, like they had been modeled from the same piece of clay.

"Told me what?" he whispered, his breath brushing over the skin on the back of her neck as his arm gently wrapped around her waist.

"That I love you." Sam said simply as she felt his body tense slightly and then relax, his legs tangling with her own as he gently dropped a kiss on her shoulder.

"I guess we both are at fault…I should have told you as well." He replied, his mouth still resting against the silken skin of her shoulder. Reaching up with a hand, he gently smoothed her damp hair from her face, her tears now long driven from her eyes as she gave a gentle sigh and relaxed back into his body.

As they both watched the fire flicker in the hearth, their hands tangled under the blanket, each gripping the other just as tightly as Jack felt her fall asleep in his arms, a position that he had longed dreamed about. As sleep finally gripped her tired and cold body, Sam finally smiled, that beautiful megawatt smile that had not been seen in 4 years. Dreams can be good. Dreams can be bad. But they can be fulfilled. And as she dreamt, she saw herself walking down that road…no longer alone, but with Jack by her side. A dream fulfilled.


So, I really do hope you enjoyed this, I really enjoyed writing it, struggle though it was at times, I did enjoy writing it, any maybe, just maybe (capitals 20foot high here people) I might do a short second chapter.

And I realise that Sam's thoughts about the gun were a little OOC, but you gotta realise that everyone she loves has left her...and when that happens you really do think some dark thoughts. She's also under a lot of pressure, she was always looked at to come up the 'idea' that was going to save the planet...that's gotta get to you after awhile...okay Nicole, stop crapping on and let them review the story.