"What are thinking about this time Edward?" Bella asked me.
I turned away from the window.
"Nothing." I replied.
Bella just looked at me for a while before saying
"Don't lie to Edward. Please, tell me what's wrong."
"I'm just wondering about your…change. Do you regret it? Do you hate me for it? I'm just…"
She cut me off.
"Edward, listen to me. Please. I don't regret my change and I could never hate you. If I did would you think I would be here with you right now? You should know this just by how I act everyday."
I love her. I love her more than the world, more than the sky and the stars and everything else. But I still wonder, was I just being selfish when I changed her. Was it what was best for her? She might regret being changed. She might hate me for selfishly changing her. She might just be staying with me out of guilt, out of pity.
Guilt because she told me she loved me, because she told me she always would. Pity because she knew I'd be lost without her. Broken. Dead (no pun intended). Does she still love me anymore?
As if reading my mind she said.
"Stop thinking those thought Edward. I've told you numerous times that I don't regret being changed. I love this. I love you and there's no doubt in my mind that this was the right choice for you and for me."
I closed my eyes.
It was in times like these that I wish I could read her mind. Was she just saying this to comfort me? Did she really mean it when she says she loves me.
How could she though? I'm a monster. I've taken away human lives and that cannot be justified, even if they were all filth. I took her life when I changed her. I took her away from her family, from Charlie and Renée. I took away her innocence.
I made her a murderer. She has to go through everyday fighting for control over her bloodlust. For what I've done to Bella, I deserve hell.
I opened my eyes to look at her.
"How can you?" I asked her.
"How can I what?" She asked looking confused.
I stared into her eyes, getting lost in it's depth. A gust of wind came through the window swirling her scent around. It was wonderful. Her scent was intoxicating, sweet and tempting.
"Edward? How can I what? What do you mean?" Her voice broke through my thoughts.
"How can you love me?" I whispered softly.
She looked at smiling.
"You're asking the wrong question." She told me. "It should be would I be able to not love you."
"Let me rephrase." I sighed. "How can you love a monster?"
Her expression changed. You could see she was hurt and it killed me that I had been the cause of it. I waited for her answer. I was sure she was going to say you're right. I'm sorry Edward but I don't love you. I was just feeling guilty and I didn't know how to tell you. But now I'm telling you and it's the truth Edward. It pained me to think of this. I couldn't imagine living without her it wouldn't be living at all. No one means more to me than Bella but I was going to have to deal with the truth sooner or later.
She finally spoke but it wasn't what I was expecting.
"You're not a monster Edward. I wanted this, I was the one who begged you to change me. I wanted this Edward, you're not a monster so stop thinking that."
"But I was…"
She interrupted me with a kiss, passionate and deep. I didn't want it to end.
"You know how people say your eyes are the windows into soul?" She mumbled against my lips.
"Yeah." I replied against her lips.
She pulled away smiling.
"You know Edward, you have gorgeous eyes." She whispered before I pulled her forward to meet my lips with hers.