Only In My Dreams

Only In My Dreams

Zelgadis/Amelia fic, not quite a songfic, trying for tears here. ^.^

Amelia's heart pounded as she raced through the dark hallways. Her pearly pink dress was torn and stained with unimaginable things. In the distance behind her, she could hear the monster closing in on her. The darkness giggled at her, spindly legs reached out to hold her back, spider webs were cast in her way.

"No! No! Stop! Please!" she sobbed, pushing her way through the crowd of people. She opened her eyes, finding herself standing naked in the middle of the market place.

Thunder crashed and she looked up at the dark stormy sky seeing rain falling but not feeling it. The people started running away, screaming in terror. A tornado sprouted from the dark clouds slamming into the earth and sucking buildings, pets, and people into it, throwing dust everywhere. Amelia screamed again, turning to flee for somewhere low. Her foot hit something hard and she looked down to find a large stone on which her mother's body was lain.

"Mommy!" Amelia sobbed, falling to her knees. She couldn't see the face of the body, it was covered by a long white cloth. This cloth was somewhat sheer though. She could see her mother's long dark purple hair spilling out along the cobble stones of the market.

"She's gone Amelia," Gracia said from behind her. Amelia turned around to see her older sister just as she'd last seen her, her dark eyes wide and blank, her hair disheveled her dress torn and bloody.

"No! No she can't be! Gracie! Don't leave me! Don't leave me please!" Amelia sobbed.

"You have daddy, he'll always be there for you." Gracia turned and ran off, disappearing as more tornadoes had sprung into being and were destroying Seyruun.

"Nooo! Gracie! I need you! Daddy's gone! Daddy left me Gracie!" Amelia turned, looking down at her mother's body, now seeing another stone bier upon which her father's body was lain, a long sword stabbed through his chest, blood spilled gruesomely upon the stones.

"There's no one for me now!" Amelia sobbed into her hands, getting to her feet. "Not even you Zelgadis! I thought you'd be here for me! But you're just as cold inside as you are on the outside aren't you? You can't love! You're just a monster!"

Amelia suddenly sat up in bed, clutching her blankets against her shivering body. Her mind whirled, frantically trying to put things back in order. Her father wasn't dead. She remembered now. He wasn't dead yet in any case. He would probably be soon now. Thankfully it was a much less terrifying death then what had just been in Amelia's dream. No, Crown Prince Phillionel was dying of illness.

The princess slowly shifted her feet to the floor. It was around three in the morning. No where near any time that she could rightfully get up but there was always her balcony. She pushed open the doors and stepped out into the cool night breeze, her cotton nightgown fluttering around her thighs.

The white roses were dead. She'd never noticed how much she loved them till they were gone. The gardener who had tended the roses had died already. The plague had claimed many lives, it would claim more. Amelia hung her head, she'd done all she could to fortify her kingdom against it. "Justice can not fight an enemy it can not see," she sadly admitted to herself, thinking back on how foolish she'd been to even believe in such a thing as Justice. Justice had retired from the world. It now lived in that Village of Justice with those old people on the Fish Island.

Wet drops splattered against her hands as she leaned against the stone railing, her fingers clutching its cool surface. At first she thought it was her tears, then it started pouring, leaving her soaking wet. "I should go back inside," she said softly to herself. She'd taken to talking to herself now that most of her friends were dead or dying. Friends in the palace anyway. She had no clue what Lina, Gourry, or Zelgadis were up to since going on their separate ways after defeating DarkStar.

Though she said the words, she did not move. Simply letting the rain pour down her body, soaking her until she shivered with the cold. "And where are you now Zelgadis? Where is my knight to save me from this terror? Did I have a knight? Were you even my knight? I wish you had been... I wish you were now."

Finally, she turned, walking back into her room, her head bowed, shoulders sagging, water dripping from her body as she carefully closed the doors to her balcony. "I should sleep," she said softly but simply removed her wet nightgown and dropped it on the floor. The wet cotton gave a splat as it hit and slowly a puddle spread on the cold tile floor of her bedroom. Amelia walked in the darkness of her bedroom, she knew where everything was simply by virtue of having lived in the room for a long time. Nothing changed in her room. It was still frilly pink pillows with dolls set out on shelves. Amelia reached into her wardrobe, grabbing the first thing that came to hand, pulling it on in the dark.

"I feel dark," she observed softly to herself, not knowing why, not feeling like lighting a candle or casting a light spell. She walked over to the door and opened it, stepping out into her antechamber. She walked with bare feet and wet hair to a chair beside the dark fireplace, sitting down in it, listening to the rain splattering on the high windows that let light into the room during the day. These windows faced out onto the courtyard, the same view of which her balcony looked onto. The dead roses, the dried fountain, the dusty cobble stones.

"Where is my knight?" Amelia asked listlessly, letting her head fall back against the chair behind her.

There was a soft thump and the door opened. One of the remaining servants entered, carrying a candelabrum with only two candles lit on it. Another man came in, headed towards Amelia's bedroom door, not noticing the princess was sitting in one of the chairs near the fireplace.

The man knocked on the door softly but urgently. "Princess Amelia," he called.

Amelia didn't move. "What is it, kind sir?" she asked almost by rote, causing both men to jump in fear then come over to the fireplace. Light cast upon Amelia's face, showing her pale wet features. Amelia realized why they hadn't noticed her. She'd accidentally put on the only black dress she owned.

The man hung his head. "I guess you already knew," he said sadly, twisting his hands together, "I know you loved him very much."

Amelia felt a sting in her heart, far away from her, she felt as if she were standing in a dark and lonely place, completely by herself. The sheer coincidence of her dream, her dress, and now the news did not surprise her. She just didn't feel anything anymore. She'd lost so much in her life it wasn't worth crying over anymore. "Everything is ready. We were just waiting for him," Amelia said softly. "Leave me, now." The servant and cleric bowed to her, backing out of the room, closing the door once more. She noticed absently that the servant had left a candle for her.

Slowly, she reached over and placed her hand over the flame, snuffing it with her fingers. She wanted the darkness; it felt comforting. Placing her hand back in her lap, she stared blankly into the shadows, unable to see anything. She was glad. It would only serve as a reminder to her of what she'd lost in one stormy night.