A/N: Sometimes Guza really gets under my skin. He has ruined the character of Dillon so much. The fact that Scott Clifton is under contract negotiations has really been worrying me lately. This is my very first story. I hope you like it. Please review, but since it is my first story, please do not be too harsh. I hope to get Chapter 2 up within just a few days.
Let Me In
Lesley Lu Spencer nervously paced outside the glass window of the nursery at the hospital. She could see him through the glass. He is her sister-in-law's baby. She wanted to go in and meet him, but something was holding her back, and she could not figure out what.
"Hey, Lulu, are you okay?" Dillon Quartermaine asked nervously
"I am okay, but I just cannot seem to figure out why it is so hard for me to go in that nursery. He is my nephew and the sight of him or any other baby just gives me such an odd feeling."
Not wanting to anger the woman, who he had been competing with those idiots for, he stepped over the topic with uncertainty.
"Well," Dillon said shakily, "Could it be that seeing any baby makes you think of our baby." He searched her face for any reaction that he has exasperated her, but all he saw was tears welling up in her eyes.
Dillon thought to himself, "Well, now you have done it. Now you have gone and made her cry. How are you ever going to get Lulu to realize that you are the best man for her if all you do is make her cry? I have to do something."
Lulu began to explain, while realizing that Dillon was trying not to hurt her feelings, when he was very obviously still in a tremendous amount of pain himself "I have been thinking a lot about our baby lately. Not just about whether or not I think that I made the right decision, but about how much I hurt because I know that I ignored your feelings so badly. Sometimes I really wonder if it was the right decisi-"
Dillon interrupted, "Lu, we are not ready to be parents. I know that now. I just wish that I would have known that then. Maybe it would have been easier to face the fact of it, and not put you through so much pain. I mean I was awful to you."
Dillon thought to himself, "I have been wanting to do this for a while, and now may be the best time to do it." He looked at Lulu. He reached up and wiped away her tears, and said,
"Lulu, I want to apologize for ever"
"Dillon, you do not have to apologize. It was a hard time for both of"
"No, let me finish. I am sorry for the terrible things that I said to you when you told me that you were going to terminate the pregnancy." He looked at the ground with disgust at himself."I had no right to call you a selfish bitch, or say the rest of the terrible things that I did. I am sorry."
Now, it was her turn to reassure him, "Dillon, I know that I put you through hell. I know that I did not make it easy on you. I said some terrible things"
He refused to let her take the blame for this."Lulu, I deserved every bit of what you gave me. I"
"Dillon, I slapped you. I am so sorry"
"Lulu, don't you think we have both come so far since that happened? You have become my best friend, Lulu. Don't cry. We both have spent so much time crying. Don't you think that it is time to stop crying and move forward with the future?"
Lulu interrupted him, "Dillon, I don't know if I ever can."
"Lulu, right now, there is a sweet little newborn baby in there is dying to meet his family. He is looking at his mother possibly not surviving. This baby needs you. He needs you to be his aunt. Be that aunt, and think of him as your cute little nephew not as the baby that we lost."
All Lulu could think of that very moment was how happy she was to know Dillon Quartermaine. He was her best friend. She reached out and hugged him. Every time she hugged him recently, she felt the comfort and safety that it felt to be in his arms. She never wanted to leave them. She wished that she could just hold on tightly, and not let go. But, she knew that she was not ready for that, yet. She reluctantly stepped out of Dillon's warm embrace and said,
"I can do this. He needs me."
Dillon looked at her with so much affection and wondered how he could make this easier for her. "Would you like me to go with you?"
Dillon followed Lulu into the small nursery. She looked down at the little infant, who smiled at her. She picked him up very carefully, terrified that he would break.
Lulu began to speak to the little baby, "Hey. There we go. Hi. Hi. Hi. Look -- look how little and perfect you are. Yeah. It doesn't matter how you label it. I'm in your life now, and I love you. Hmm. And that's all that matters. Dillon, he is so perfect. He is the cutest little baby."
Dillon felt himself thinking, "Here I am telling her that she should not be thinking about this baby as our baby. I know she made the right decision, but sometimes I wonder. What if this would have been our baby? Things could have been so different."
Lulu felt her eyes beginning to tear up again. She knew that it was time for her to let him sleep, but she was glad that Dillon had come with her. He gave her the strength that she needed. They left the small nursery and walked out of the hospital.
"Dillon, thank you for going with me. It really meant a lot that you were there. We were both able to confront seeing a baby that would be the same age as our baby would have been."
Dillon had to tell her what he was thinking, "Lulu, You are doing so much better than me. When you were holding the baby, I could not help but think about it. I am sorry."
Lulu wrapped her arms around. She wanted to make him feel better, like he had her. She hated that eight months after the decision that she made that it was still giving him so much grief. She could feel him lift his head, as she began to lift hers.
Dillon began to think: "I really think that this has caused us to grow closer. I wish that there was someway to show her how much she means to me. Think, Quartermaine. What could I do? Why am I so shy? She is my best friend. I wish that I could just kiss her right now. This afternoon has made me realize how much I care for her, and dare I say, love her. I am a Quartermaine. For once, I am just going to act without thinking."
Dillon and Lulu locked eyes and both knew where this was going. Dillon leaned over and brushed his lips softly against her lips. She hesitated at first, but then responded with more urgency. She wrapped her arms around him and surrendered to the kiss. She began to feel so much in so little time, and the kiss grew with passion. As she kissed Dillon, she found herself thinking, "This is how it all started before. I know how I feel, but I do not deserve to be loved by him. I feel like I am going to pass out. I can't handle this. I have to get away."
She broke the kiss all of a sudden, and started to run away. Dillon ran after her, completely bewildered. Here he thought that they were on the right track, and now she is running from him. He finally caught up to her and turned her around. Dillon looked at her with so much love, "Lulu, what's wrong? Did I do something?"
Once again tears welled up in her eyes. "Dillon, I can't. I can't forget the pain. I just can't. Besides, I still haven't decided if I want you, Milo, or Spinelli.
"How can you even consider being with someone else after that kiss? I felt how you melted into the kiss!" He began to grow angry and without thinking yelled, "How can you be so selfish and unwilling to let me in?"
She broke down in tears, "That is why. You are so different than you were. You would have never thought about yelling at me before. When you got upset, you would yell if it was really bad. But, I have watched you change so much. No matter if we say the words, we can never truly move on."
Lulu ran away sobbing, as Dillon watched her with tears in his own eyes.