Author: Draco's Worst Nightmare
Pairing: AkuRoku, Zemyx
Summary: Zexion convinces Axel that Roxas is the uke. So, by default, that makes Axel the seme, right? Roxas doesn't think so.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Sora and Riku would be made to let me watch...while they did it...in my bed... Creepy, huh?
A/N: It's mostly dialogue. It was really a spur of the moment idea, done in a couple hours. I feel alright about it. My favorite part is the end. (smiles) This is my first AkuRoku that I've liked enough to put up. Enjoy.
"I bet he's the perfect little uke!"
His cheeks were pinched again and annoyed, he slapped Demyx's hand away and was shot a pout by the owner. "Roxas! I was joking!"
"Or maybe he wasn't."
Zexion smirked at him from across the table, only so relaxed because he was out of the blonde's beating range and wasn't worth jumping across a whole table for.
"Now, guys, don't tease him. Roxas is, uh... He's...um..." Axel unfolded his arms from behind his head, set them on the table and tongued the inside of his cheek. "He's..." He pursed his lips and leaned on his open palm. "Huh."
Roxas glared at him and crossed his arms. "I'm what, Axel?"
Despite having a bruised wrist, Demyx once again cried: "The perfect little uke!" And promptly ran from the table as Roxas growled and leapt at his empty chair, quickly running after him when he saw Demyx sprint out the exit. Axel stood, worried for the fate of Demyx.
"Shouldn't we help him?"
"No. He brought it on himself."
"The concern for your boyfriend is amazing." Axel sat back down and drew imaginary figure eights on the table, a sigh escaping him.
Zexion fingered through his elaborated bangs and prodded the redhead with his other hand. "So...what is Roxas?"
"Is he 'the perfect little uke'?"
Zexion stopped fiddling with his hair and turned towards the silence next to him. "Well?"
He lifted an eyebrow. "That took you a little while."
"'No...' It didn't' take you a little while?"
"No. The answer is yes and no."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Axel sighed again and turned to the blank slate that was Zexion's face and opened his mouth to speak only to have a voice that wasn't his sound off outside the room.
"YOU LITTLE RAT! I'LL TEACH YOU TO CALL ME AN UKE!"
"NO! ROXAS PLEASE! AH!"
Axel scooted his chair across the floor towards Zexion and placed his head on the other's shoulder, wanting a pity pet and not receiving it as he spoke.
"Roxas exhibits uke-like behavior, but refuses to...well...submit."
Zexion jumped, causing Axel to reel back and hold his ear from the shoulder pop he received.
"Submit? This isn't going to turn into some sort of sex-talk, is it?"
"No! Like I'd need to talk about that with you. Roxas just doesn't do things that a sub would do."
"Hmm... For example, Roxas is cute. He's downright adorable, but gets mad like an angry woman."
"And everyone knows that's pretty damn angry. Look at Marluxia at the end of the month."
"Marluxia isn't a woman."
Axel twisted toward him slowly; his eyes deadpan as he scoffed. "Yeah, right, Zexion. Like a real self-respecting man would really wear that much pink."
The other man sighed and rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
"Anyway. Roxas has an anger problem. Subs are compliant and soft."
"But aren't you the one that can calm him down? What's that thing you do?"
"Oh, you mean massage the top of his head?"
"Yeah. He starts mewling like a walrus in heat when you do that." He gave a closed smile, not showing any teeth, but clearly enjoying the memories of Roxas's public moaning.
"Ew. Ugh. Anyway. He does that one thing, and he's cuter than a newborn kitten. That doesn't make him any more than an attractive kid with a rubbing complex and he's more than that. A. Lot. More. It all tips the scale onto a whole 'nother level."
The smile had been wiped away to be replaced with that ever always lazy mouth that sat there like it was an expression and not a non-effort to show emotion. "Alright. He has an anger problem. But what about his mannerisms? He walks around with his head down all the time, he'll make eye contact, but only briefly, he bites his bottom lip a lot, a lot of times he gets that crease in the middle of his forehead like he's thinking too much, he makes those little kiddy snores when he sleeps, he pouts like a child, he's generally a happy little thing, he gets all giddy when you bring him sea salt ice cream, he–"
"–Dude!" Axel had jumped backward, glowering at him, obviously ticked off about something. "What the hell? It seems like you've been paying as much attention to him as I do, his boyfriend. Not cool. It's actually really creepy."
"I'm an observer, an analyzer. I notice these kinds of things."
"How about you just admit to being weird?"
"I'm not weird."
"Uh huh." In spite of Zexion's strange findings on Roxas, they were true. In comparison, Axel seemed to be way manlier than him in personality and stature. Who heard of a seme that was short? Axel's eyebrows lifted in realization as he fingered his chin. "Maybe he is the perfect little uke."
Even though he wasn't the one who had told him, he accepted it that way and let it go. "So I guess that makes me the seme."
"Of course. You're the logical choice...compared to Roxas."
"What were you two talking about?"
"Roxas!" Axel's eyes took in the sight of the unmarred figure of Roxas standing in the doorway and failed to see Demyx anywhere in sight. There was no blood on his cloak, so maybe he didn't kill him. Still, he asked warily, careful to not urge Roxas into another frenzy (or killing spree if that was the case). "Hey...where's Demyx?"
Roxas shrugged. "I don't know. He jumped out of a third floor window awhile ago. I wasn't able to find him in the bushes or hedges or anywhere after that. But what was it you were saying before?"
"About what?" But an icy feeling settled on him that Roxas already knew what 'what' was and he was gonna pay for it soon.
"'About what?' About you being a seme and me being 'the perfect little uke'" Roxas smiled at him. Not the kind of smile you hope to get either. It wasn't filled with warmth or happiness. It was filled with revenge and hidden torture. Axel would be paying for this later.
"Now... Who's the seme?" His voice, such a soft voice, sang. His lip curled upward into a half-smile, the light playing off the edge of his incisor. It would've been cute, it should've been cute, if it wasn't for what he was doing to him at the moment.
Axel panted and gripped the bed with his thighs, fisting the sheets with his fingers and shuddering when Roxas's hand trailed along his spine. "I...you are."
Roxas pushed against the muscle around him and eased himself so that he was lying on Axel's prone form. He bit at the redhead's pale neck, suckling the skin and adding his mark to the older ones he had already put there. His lips parted as a hot breath escaped him and made Axel's ear tingle. The blonde's hips moved in steady motion against him, a deep throbbing issuing inside him at the move. The sweat on Axel's back made him slide better and made it easier to speed up. His knees were denting the bed sheets as he rocked back and forth harder and faster until Axel clenched around him, moaned his name and let himself go in the sheets while Roxas came inside him.
He slipped out and turned his lover's weak body over to kiss his mouth and run a hand through his hair. In return, Axel cradled Roxas to him and started to knead his skull. The familiar mewling sounds that he was, apparently, famous for issued forth and Axel realized, with a grin, that he kind of did sound like a walrus in heat. They settled in for sleep, but not before Roxas cleared up one last thing.
"So...who's the uke?"
"You still are."
He was only lucky Roxas was too into the massage to care that it was true.
A/N: I thought the sex was cute. If anyone watches the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, they should know where the 'like an angry woman' thing came from. Review please!