Author's Note: This idea occurred to me when I wondered how Naruto using his oiroke no jutsu and its modification (harem no jutsu) was the reason for him to be in Bingo book.

Chapter Five

Naruto's MisadventuresTo Enter Bingo Book

It wasn't a normal day in Akatsuki's Lair. All of its members were in the secret lair, while normally they were scattered across the globe. But right now they weren't scheming anything. It was simply a coincidence that none of them had mission to do, so they had the day off.

Itachi was sitting blankly on his sofa seat specifically imported from Fire Country, for once his sharingan was off. He threw the empty pocky box to the pile of garbage beside him and then snatched another box from his uneaten pocky pile. The others no longer found it unnerving that he ate his snack with a blank look. An Uchiha had to maintain their emotion after all.

Kisame was off in the kitchen trying to cook his favorite food: tuna fish, but so far it didn't seem like it would be done anytime soon. The kitchen was wrecked as if someone had just tried to butcher it with guillotine. Of course that someone was the blue skinned ninja who tried to cut his fish with Samehada, his huge and highly sentient sword.

Deidara and Sasori were arguing about which of their arts was better and so far it didn't look like it was going to stop for the next five hours.

Hidan was on the corner of the room doing ritual for his beloved God, Jashin-sama. And no one was bothered about him, as long as he didn't try to use them as his sacrifice.

Kakuzu who handled Akatsuki's financial was pushing the buttons of his calculator, while occasionally flipping the latest bingo book's page on his lap, thinking which one of the ninjas inside should be hunted for the bounty.

Zetsu was conversing with his other half silently, while caring for a pot of plant of the table.

Konan was busy making origami birds and put life into them for lack of entertainment. The quiet blue haired girl appeared like a lost children at the moment.

Pein was sleeping for lack of things to do. Simply to say that he was bored.

And Tobi…Tobi was poking sleeping Pein. Sooner of later the idiot would understand the meaning of 'draco dominem ninquam titilandus' or 'never poke a sleeping dragon'.

Kakuzu was lazily flipping the lates bingo book, looking for new victims to hunt, when his hand suddenly froze. He opened his mouth, but no sound coming out of it, a sign that the S-rank missing nin was truly shocked with the information in the page. After a minute of composing himself, he turned to his fellow missing-nin and member of Akatsuki, Itachi of Uchiha clan.

He spoke gruffly, "Itachi, do you know that Iwa put a bounty of 15 million ryo for your jinchuuriki's head?"

Itachi froze mid-eating. Kakuzu had the complete attention from the others, with the exception of Kisame who was busy cooking (and failing) and Tobi who was poking Pein (a punch to his gut from an irate Pein rendered him unconscious).

"…No," the culprit of Uchiha massacre admitted in quiet voice.

"Wow, my former village did that? What did the jinchuuriki did to deserve that anyway?" Deidara was interested.

"Apparently he slaughtered one of Iwa's most prominent clans. Only children under 10 years old were spared."

"Whoa, I don't know that the Leaf's jinchuuriki is so cold-blooded, yeah. Which clan anyway?" the blonde criminal was surprised. According to the reports, the blonde jinchuuriki was among the most stable jinchuuriki and there was no sign that he had a tendency of killing at all. In fact he was the most 'innocent' demon vessels the world had ever known.

"The book said that they had died of bloodloss. And it was Rokku clan," Kakuzu sorted through whatever data in the page.

"Holy cow! Rokku clan? But their bodies were able to stop even chakra enhanced steel! How in the hell he managed to cut them apart?" the others too were interested at Kakuzu's answer.

"That's the mystery. He didn't cut them apart. In fact there didn't seem to be any injury inflicted to their bodies."

The Akatsuki members were left wondering how much stronger Uzumaki Naruto had been under the Legendary Toad Sage, Jiraiya.

Meanwhile in Marsh territory…

"Hey, look, Ero-sennin! I am in the Bingo Book!" Uzumaki Naruto chirped cheerfully, as he waved the book on his hand.

Jiraiya sighed. Not even 16 years old and Naruto had already angered Iwa. His father had stopped the last ninja war, but it seemed that Naruto was going to start the next war. Talk about irony.

"It's your fault for slaughtering Rokku clan, Naruto! Now it's going to be harder for us to travel!" the white haired ninja blamed his student.

"Hey, it's not my fault that they were a bunch of perverts! And how am I supposed to know that a clan as great as them had hemorrhaging disease anyway? I am no medic-nin," the young ninja protested.

Indeed the clan members were dead because of severe bloodloss caused by nosebleed after the blonde ninja used his infamous Harem no Jutsu (female and male version). While it was hard to cut their skin, once they bleed it was hard to stop the flow of the blood. Their blood simply refused to clot.

It seemed that Konoha's sandaime's decision to put said technique into S-rank kinjutsu was right.

Meanwhile in Konoha…

Tsunade was speaking to foreign dignitaries, when her student barged into her office. "Didn't I say to Shizune that I had an important meeting right now?" the godaime was annoyed.

Sakura was breathless. She had been on her shift at hospital when one of her patients was reading Bingo Book and claimed that Iwa put a bounty for her teammate's head. The pink haired girl immediately snatched the bingo book from the protesting ninja's hand and ran all the way to Hokage Tower.

"But Hokage-sama, it's about Naruto!" she knew Tsunade was fond with the blond.

"What happened to him?" she slammed her hand to the table, completely forgetting about her guests in front of her, who flinched at her angry tone.

"Iwa put a 15 million bounty for his head," Sakura answered.

"What? Did they know that he was yondaime's son?" Tsunade shrieked so loud even the people outside the towere hread her.

Sakura blonked at ther teacher's involuntary admission. "Naruto was yondaime's son?" she asked dumbly.

Tsunade froze. Her eyes darted from her dumbfounded apprentice to the astonished dignitaries. "Wait, you mean it's not because of that?" As her apprentice nodded, Tsunade felt the urge to kill herself right now. "Aw, shucks!" she cursed.

She knew that sooner or later the news would reach Iwa and the rest of the countries.

The next week Naruto's bounty was increased to 50 million after Iwa heard the news of Naruto's heritage. Yondaime was their most hateful enemy after all.

In Marsh

"Hey, I didn't even do anything this time around!" Naruto said, annoyed. "And what's this about me being yondaime's son anyway, Ero-sennin!" when Naruto looked up from his Bingo Book, his teacher was nowhere to be seen. "Coward!" Naruto shouted furiously.

Unknown to Naruto, several noble women he had saved before, had marked him as potential husband. Now that he was proven as the son of the legendary Yellow Flash, yondaime of Konoha, surely their stupid councils would no longer object to have him as their husband.

Konoha was in depressed mood. The people (some of them anyway, but their depression affected others) felt guilty for…well, you know. Wave worshiped their blonde saviour further, even erecting a shrine dedicated for him. Same thing happened in several other countries which Naruto had saved.

While the number of Naruto's allies was growing (not that he realized yet), so was his enemies. Iwa had declared him persona non grata and that he would be killed if he was found anywhere in Earth Country. Yondaime's previous enemies were ready to get their revenge by killing his son. Akatsuki would be hard pressed to keep Naruto alive for them to extract his bijuu. It was ironic that the one who had hunted him would turn out to be his saviour inadvertedly…for free even.

Of course Naruto's enemies now faced several countries and prominent clans who were determined to keep him safe, especially from those with queens, princesses, and heiress who were vying for his hand in marriage. There was no way they would let anyone hurt their husband-to-be. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

It seemed our hero's life would get hectic soon. Until then he would stay ignorant. Ignorance was a bliss after all.

The End