He Said/She Said

Another goofy FF7 fic by yours trully, Arcadia Silver.


Arcadia Silver: Welcome everyone, we interupt this episode of........(looks at paper)
Homes and Gardens Of The Rich and Communist, for something better.

Alot better.

Welcome to the first episode ever of He Said/She Said, a gameshow that brings together
couples from your favorite animes and videogames, and asks them candid questions
about their lovelives!!

(Cheesy music blares and lights come on a stage with four stools)

Okay, so we need work on the set. We're on a budget!! We don't work at ABC
ya know!! (Damn Regis Philbin!! I'll get him yet for beatting me out of that
host contract!!)

Anyway. On tonight's episode, the cast of Final Fantasy VII!! On our guy team
we have the leader of AVALANCHE himself, Cloud Strife!!

(Cloud walks out to stool, sits and smiles. Sees variuos girls in the audience
holding posters, pin-ups, dolls, and photos of......)

Cloud: Justin Timberlake?????

Arcadia Silver: EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!! NSYNC FANS!! GO AWAY!! GO AWAY!!!

(With a blast of thunder from Arcadia's hand, they all disappear.)

Arcadia Silver: Remind me to thank VIVI for teaching me that Thundaga spell
But going on. Next up, the man that is the HOTTEST villan ever in all of Final Fantasy-dom

( lets steam out from collar)

Arcadia Silver: Sephiroth!!

(Sephiroth walks out waving and smiling, and takes seat next to Cloud.)

Arcadia Silver: **sigh** Next on the list, you know him, ya love him, he can
out-cuss your Uncle Phil...Cid Highwind!!

( Cid walks out, flicks the butt of a cig away, lits another and takes his seat,
not noticing the audience.)

Arcadia Silver: What happened to 'No Smoking' on the set? Oh well......
Last on the guys team, he's tall, dark, hansome, and quiet. (In many ways the perfect man.)
Vincent Valentine!!

(Suddenly, Vince flips down gracefully on his stool fromt the rafters.)

Arcadia Silver: Show-off.

( Vincent Shrugs )

Arcadia Silver: Hrmp. Now for the Ladies! The girls will be sittng behind a clear, but
soundproof wall on set, so the guys can't hear them. Now let's introduce them.
Cloud Strife's current heartstrings, Tifa Lockheart!!

(Tifa walks out smiling and waving.)

Arcadia Silver: Next up, She's Sephiroth's number-one lady, welcome Aeris
Gainsborough!!

(Aeris walks in and sits beside Tifa, they exchange smiles and hand-shakes.)

Arcadia Silver: And everyone says their enimies........Eh, where was I?....
Oh yeah, third up, she's Cid's better half.....Shera Highwind!!

(Shera shuffles out, covered in grease and oil, and tries to sit, but slips
because of the oil on her dress.)

AS: Been messing with the machines I see.....

(Shera nods.)

AS: I'll never understand mechanics. Member four for the girls, she's Vincent's
ball-and-chain....Yuffie Kisagagi!!

(Yuffie skips out like a hyper school-girl and hops on the stool and waves like
a maniac.)

AS: Alright, now that everyone is here......finally, I'll explain the rules
Each guy will answer the question I've given them, then their partner will
answer the same question using the dry-erase board they have. So yet's begin!
Okay boys first question, Whats the one thing your gal doesn't know you did?

Cloud: Tifa doesn't know that I was the one who broke her piano...

(An expression of rage crosses Tifa's face.)

AS: I'm afraid to ask, but how?

Cloud: I...sorta put the cat in it.

AS: Why?

Cloud: They did it in Tom and Jerry.....

(Tifa is busy scribbling on a dry-erase board)

Tifa: He doesn't know that I threw away his mastered Ultima materia..

AS: Sephiroth, whats your answer?

Sephiroth: Aeris doesn't know that I sprayed her plants with with Kool-Aid
the other day.

(Aeris looks like she's gonna fall off the chair)

AS: How did you do that?

Sephiroth: I mixed up the Kool-Aid powder with that Miracle-Grow stuff.

(Aeris writes )

Aeris: I polished Masamune with his hair gel.....

AS: I' am gonna kill Regis......

Cid: Well, last night, I dropped some of my cigarette ashes in the soup..

Shera: I saw him do it.....he didn't realize that I had different soup last
night 8D

AS: Ooooookkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyy. Vincent.

Vincent: I....told Godo that Yuffie had eloped with that Staniv guy from the
Pagaoda

(Yuffie grina and writes)

Yuffie: I know he did that, but he doesn't know I put termites in his coffin..

AS: I think we just proved that the human race is de-evolving as we speak.
But the show goes on. Next, that all important question, Boxers or breifs?

Cloud: Boxers

Tifa: He wears Boxers

Sephiroth: Boxers

Aeris: Diffenatly Boxers

Cid: Boxers

Shera:...........bikinis

Vincenet: Boxers, of course.

Yuffie: He wears nothing..

AS: Heheh.......well, that was ...hehee.........interesting.....Next question.
(Looks at card) Oh now thats just perverted!!!

Director: Just read it!!

AS: Fine, but I'm getting every single feminine activist group on your back when
this is over. Boys, whats your girls bra size?

Cloud: um.....24D?

Tifa: 42C

Sephiroth:..........I honestly don't know

Aeris: He doesn't know what a bra is.

Cid: 26 B

Shera: What bra???

Vincent: Iam disgraced by answering this.....32 A

Yuffie: that idiot, I'm not that small......12 B

AS: Gross.....there are some thing we are never meant to know. That was one of them

(Music starts to play)

AS: Oh look at that, it's time for our comercial break, We'll be back after these words.


Alright, so that wasn't as funny as I though it would be, to keep me
writting this crap I need eight reviews tops.