Well. Originally; I had planned to post this much sooner, but, well...then reality happened. So, here I am. Thank you, for reviewing last chapter. I learned a new, brilliant word; ostracise. I didn't even know such a word existed, but it's perfect for my Rei. ;)
Now, here's the last, final part, and I do hope you enjoy.
"Should I be worried, Kai?"
"You're in the kitchen without me asking you to cook." Rei walked up behind Kai, leaning against his shoulder as he scanned the page of a cookbook Kai was reading. "Sweet tooth?"
Kai shook his head, turning a page. "Not really, no…you know how to bake?" Rei nodded, and flipped forwards several pages, stopping at the section for chocolate cakes. The rather stained section for chocolate cakes. Kai smirked, tapping the headline of one of them. "I want you to make me that one as a birthday cake."
"It's your birthday?" Kai nodded, glancing absentmindedly at the recipe.
"Do we have-" Kai looked up at the same time as Rei turned his head to the side. Rei's eyes widened briefly, then he leaned forwards to close the small remaining gap between them, and caught Kai's lips in a short kiss. Pulling, back, Kai blinked, surprised and he licked his lips. "-cacao?"
"Yeah." Rei squeezed Kai's shoulder. "Happy birthday, then."
Rei knew he had had a bit too much to drink, but at the moment he couldn't find it in himself to care; he was too happy, and Kai hadn't asked him to move in…he didn't remember how long, but he had stopped pushing at him, too. Kai was sprawled quite comfortably across the couch, arms resting on the back, and he provided a most comfortable side to rest against. Glancing up slightly, Rei leaned back further and Kai's eyebrow went up a little bit higher.
"You!" Rei blinked, his smile faltering as someone he didn't recognise sat down uncomfortably close next to him, and he slid, if possible, closer to Kai. "Are you really a woman?"
Rei blinked again, and shook his head. "I'm gay."
The other teen nodded, frowning and biting his lip. "But you're not a chick?"
"No…" Rei shook his head. "I'm a neko-jin. Birds are…nasty."
Kim, Rei suddenly remembered they were in the same philosophy class, frowned deeper, and he unexpectedly looked up, leaning over Rei. "Can I kiss you, then?"
Rei tilted his head to the side, then he grimaced and shook his head. "Kai isn't gay. Sorry."
"This is seriously the most retarded conversation I've ever heard." Rei's eyes widened, and he looked away from Kim, who was still looming over him, and slipped his arms around Kai's neck, nuzzling him affectionately. Kai groaned, and he sent the, obviously, drunk guy still drooling over Rei a harsh glare.
Kim sniffed, but straightened, and he crossed his arms, walking snobbishly away to the girl Kai assumed was his girlfriend by the way she instantaneously threw herself over him.
"Kai…" Kai hummed, awkwardly placing his arm over Rei's back, hugging him loosely. "Are you really not gay? Not even a little?"
"You're drunk, Rei." Rei shrugged, shifting slightly. "Wanna go home?"
Rei nodded, and he pulled back smiling seductively. "Why, Kai…" he leaned closer, trailing Kai's jaw with a finger, and Kai swallowed, mouth dry. "…do you…want something?"
Wiping his hands on a towel, Kai reached for the phone. "Yes? Kai speaking." Yuriy sighed, loudly and with the hint of a groan, and Kai rolled his eyes. "Rei still isn't home, idiot."
"You phoned five minutes ago." Kai reached to open the cupboard in front of him, sighing heavily as there were no clean glasses left. "Is there something else you want?"
Kai rolled his eyes, when he didn't continue, silently waiting for Kai to question him. "And?"
Yuriy chuckled, sounding very pleased, making Kai even more tired than the prospect of having to do the dishes, again, already was. Dishes were boring, but somehow, it didn't feel quite right to leave them all to Rei to do, especially when he came home late, tired from all the customers bossing him around. "I thought we could chat a little." Kai raised an eyebrow. Chat? They didn't even know each other. "About Rei."
"…what about him?"
"Why are you staying with him?"
Growling, Kai impatiently tapped his fingers against the white surface of the counter. He supposed he could hang up, but Rei would undeniably find out and Kai didn't really want to answer that question. Yuriy, he didn't know, and he had no qualms about lying over the phone. Though… "I couldn't stand my parents' bitching anymore. Why are my reasons for staying with him any of your business?" …it really wasn't any of Yuriy's business.
Yuriy clicked his tongue. "And you'd rather share a gay man's bed than your parents' house?"
Shrugging, Kai glared at the wall. "Like I said, I don't see how it matters to you. Was there anything else…?"
"No, Kai, I'll see you around." For some reason, the faint amusement underlining Yuriy's tone bothered him more than the fact that the rice had burnt, a brown charred, soggy mess on the bottom of a pot. Again.
How many times would it take before Rei realised that Kai simply was incapable of boiling rice?
It was soft, and it made Kai think of meadows warm breezes and shallow lakes. It was an elegant dance, intricate moving and calculated motions. It was, in way, hypnotising and mesmerising. It was freedom, too, and it made something in his chest swell, and his mouth dry. It made him want to close his eyes and not look up, it made him not want to think, not to…wonder whether or not it could be categorised to fit the horribly normal genre.
Then there was the bright, honest shine; the one that always seemed to sparkle in one way or the other. Sometimes with happiness. Sometimes with the ugly knowledge that there would always be hate and fear to meet him; always someone's prejudiced fist raining down on him. The pang of disappointment as yet another he had considered close and a friend turned their back. Kai liked the surprised, sombre the best. It was just bright enough, and it spoke of promises and a hidden happiness that was – could be – his if he only reached out and grabbed for it. If he only chose to see it, then it was there, silently waiting.
There was life, and long slender limbs, softly tanned skin and elegant muscles hiding just beneath and it was lulling Kai into a soft daze, just enough to make him unaware of the rest of the schools' buzz, of the headmaster's speech, of the amused eyes watching him from behind.
"Kai!" Kai's eyes snapped up, and he glared. Rei grinned, leisurely pulling him up gently by his tie. "Where were you?"
"Away?" Kai muttered. Rei laughed, cheeks slightly flushed from the champagne that had been sent around in their class as a 'last act of friendship' earlier.
It took Kai until they were outside of the school and catching up with the rest of their class who was waiting impatiently to realise that Rei was holding his hand, fingers lazily intertwined. It didn't take him particularly long to realise that it didn't really bother him, and it took the rest of the day for him to successfully avoid Rei's questioning eyes, shining with brittle hope and a question Kai carefully chose not to acknowledge or see.
He just liked to hold Rei's hand.
"We're…free." Rei breathed out shakily, running a hand through his hair as a tentative smile spread on his lips. "I don't have to go back ever again, do I, Kai?"
Unbuttoning his shirt while frowning at the contents of the wardrobe, Kai shook his head. "Why am I dressing up?"
"Because we just graduated, and I've been saving for…months now, so that we could go out and eat wherever we want." Rei gently pushed Kai to the side so that he could eye the clothes himself. "And your clothes reek of cigarette smoke." Kai just raised an eyebrow, amused.
How could he not? Practically everyone, save a very few, had seen it fit to try and see if it was possible to develop lung cancer in one day. Shrugging off his shirt, he lazily threw it on the floor. Rolling his shoulders, stiff and tense from walking around aimlessly and trying to avoid flirtatious, simpering, drunk classmates, Kai wasn't entirely pleased to see Rei's eyes flitting shamelessly over his torso. Kai crossed his arms, eyebrow raised exasperatedly. "Do you mind?"
Rei shook his head, eyes still somewhat unfocused. "No, not at all." He held up a shirt, walking closer. "I think you should wear this one. Here," Reaching up, Rei awkwardly placed it over Kai's shoulders, standing on his tip toes as he did so, swaying slightly. Rolling his eyes, Kai grabbed it before it slid off and pushed his arms through the sleeves. He blinked as Rei's fingers instantly were there, taking their time with the buttons, and Kai swallowed, eyebrow still lifted, as those slender fingers brushed down against his skin a little too much and deliberately to be merely accidentally. Rei grinned; eyes clouded the tiniest bit from the alcohol they had consumed. "You're so sexy Kai, you know that?"
"And you're a pervert." Kai rolled his eyes, blindly reaching out for a pair of jeans before Rei could choose something for him. "You don't smell too nice either, Rei."
"No, I don't suppose I do." Rei's smile dimmed slightly.
"Oh…hey, Rei." Yuriy smirked, eyes easily flicking over his body. Crooking a finger, he beckoned Rei closer. Patting the chair next to him in invitation to sit, Rei slowly did so, pointedly ignoring Boris and gasped, startled as Yuriy unexpectedly pulled him closer, hands resting on his cheeks and kissed him. Rei's eyes widened, and he jumped back. "Good luck." Yuriy smirked.
Wiping his mouth, Rei shot Yuriy a surly glare. Yuriy laughed, winking at Boris who looked rather put out. "Kai…is it okay if we sit here, or do you-?"
Kai shrugged, sitting down casually in the chair opposite to Rei. "Sure."
Glaring at the table, Kai crossed his arms. "It's fine, Rei."
"So," Yuriy grinned, "what are you having? Wine? Fondue, perhaps?"
Rei laughed. "You already ordered, didn't you?" Yuriy smirked, and Rei nodded. "Kai?" Kai shrugged, and Rei sighed quietly. "Kai-?"
"Alright." Rei frowned, but didn't prod any further, and quietly sat back as Yuriy and Boris started, yet another, pointless argument. Why two who weren't in love and just had sex kept going out to eat together in a way that resembled dates quite intimately, Rei didn't know or understand, and he honestly didn't care anymore. But…Rei smirked as Boris suddenly paled at something Yuriy spat in Russian, there was something…not quite platonic there. Rei raised an eyebrow as Kai coughed, looking decidedly uncomfortable and crossed his legs as Yuriy continued, still speaking in that strangely erotic language.
Though it was rather silly, Rei felt somewhat proud that he had managed to memorise one phrase; "Karlson, katoriy chyvyot na kriyshe." It was years ago now, when Yuriy's sister had been little and still watched children's television. It had been a rather silly show, too. Cute, but silly. Rei suddenly noticed that Boris and Yuriy had gone strangely silent, and looking up, he met Kai's narrowed eyes, looking at him as if he wasn't quite sane.
Rei blinked. "…what?"
"I said that loud?" Kai nodded. "Oh."
Kai groaned, more surprised than actually hurt, straightened, one hand folded over his stomach. He glared at the boys, barely fifteen, who was sneering, fear lurking in their eyes. "Fag."
"Fag?" Kai spat, and the boys seemed to waver the tiniest bit before tensing, and taking a daring step forwards.
"Yeah! That's what we said, F-Ah!" Kai smiled bitterly, unclenching his fist as the boy flew into his friend, barrelling to the floor.
"Brats." Wincing, he massaged his knuckles and marched out of the room without sparing the boys a glance.
"Do I look gay?"
Rei's brow furrowed, and he titled his head slightly to the side, eyes flicking up and down Kai's body. "Well, you're hot." Rei's eyes widened, and he gently took hold of Kai's hand, thumb softly stroking the reddening skin. "…everyone knows I'm gay, Kai. Being with me and putting up with my antics means they will automatically mark you as gay, too." Then he sobered, eyes shining. "Tequila?"
"Rei…" Rei's eyes slowly slid open, heavy lidded and dark. Kai shook his head, and Rei gently tangled his hand in Kai's hair, slowly guiding him back down. "I think you're very beautiful, Rei." Rei nodded, a pleased blush spreading on his cheeks.
"Kiss?" Rei was already leaning up, and Kai smirked, his hands slipping away from Rei's hair, one hand splayed between Rei's shoulder blades and the other gently squeezing his behind. Rei's eyes flashed, then slid shut and Kai hummed breathily. Then they were kissing again, and, grasping Kai's shoulders Rei changed their positions, his leg nudging Kai's apart and he grabbed Kai's hips.
There was a hard wall behind him, and his shoulders were aching, but it wasn't important. Not with Rei pushing up against him. Kissing him and fumbling the buttons of his shirt open, before sliding warm fingers over his chest, down his sides and holding on tightly to his hips.
Kai's eyes shot open, and he blinked heavily, trying to catch his breath and calm his oddly beating heart.
Coughing, Kai became aware of something else, and he shifted, gently pushing Rei until he was no longer sprawled across his chest. "…nothing. A…bad dream." Groaning, he pushed himself up, clutching his head.
Because it had been a dream, hadn't it? He sometimes had strange urges; mostly to hug Rei or touch his hair. And Rei…Rei was gay, he knew that, but Rei was probably also his best friend, and Rei didn't seem like the kind of person who took advantage of and used drunk friends. Kai groaned, and crossed his legs, ignoring how much warmer he suddenly felt as Rei moved closer.
Sitting up as well, Rei draped himself over Kai's back, resting his cheek against Kai's shoulder and gently ran his hand through Kai's hair. "I perhaps should have told you that I rarely get hung-over." Sighing softly, Rei placed his other arm around Kai's middle, loosely hugging Kai to himself. "We could go to the hot springs."
"So?" Rei gently massaged Kai's scalp, earning himself a small sigh of appreciation. "You mind gays all of a sudden?" Snorting, Kai slid one eye open, glaring down at Rei with annoyance, and Rei grinned cheekily. "Just checking."
Rei frowned, and crossed his arms as he stared down at Kai. Kai only worked on weekends, and Rei was fine with that. Little income was better than none, after all, but…in the last couple of weeks, regardless of when Rei came home, Kai would be sound asleep. And, regardless of the time Rei went to bed, Kai would take a very, very long shower and always, always get up far earlier than even Rei needed to. Usually for a walk or a run, depending on the weather and Kai's mood.
A shake of his head and a cold glare.
And Rei had done what, exactly to infuriate him?
…Rei shook his head, and glanced at the clock on the wall above his bed. It was barely half past two. In the afternoon.
"Kai?" Kai turned around, groaning softly and Rei sighed, sitting down on the bed, and shook Kai's shoulder. "…Kai?"
Sighing, Rei pushed at Kai until there was enough space for him to lay down as well. "Why can't you sleep at night? These naps aren't good, you know. You get all…lethargic and you hardly do anything around here anymore."
"…I do." Kai yawned, and rubbed his eyes. Sitting up, he leaned tiredly against the wall as he ran a hand through his hair, getting some order over it. "I did the dishes. And laundry."
"And groceries? Cleaning? Cooking? Changing the bed sheets?" Kai shook his head, and Rei sighed, eyes blinking tiredly at Kai who stubbornly traced the aged lines in the tapestries. "…you want to…move, out…?"
"No." Kai rolled his eyes, and Rei waved his hands, urging him to go on, elaborate, instead of just going quiet again. Which was precisely what he did.
"What then, Kai? You've grown tired of me? I'm too…clinging? Gay?"
Rei nodded, and sighed again, suddenly even more tired than he had been when he came home. "I'm sorry, then. I'll…go." Kai blinked, eyes silently staring a hole in Rei's back as he stood up and turned around, aiming for the bathroom and a good, long soak in the bath. "Either cook or get out, Kai. I can't deal with you when you won't talk to me."
"Look…I'm sorry, Rei."
Rei nodded, smiling tiredly. "It's alright. I…overreacted. I was tired." Rei yawned, hanging the wet towels from his bath on the open bathroom door. "Do we have any food?"
Looking away, Kai shrugged. "I made some…salad. There really wasn't much else anyway."
"It's fine." Rei quietly slid up in front of Kai, and after a second of hesitation, slipped his arms around Kai's neck, enveloping him in a soft hug that Kai returned, just as hesitantly and desperately. "I didn't mean to- I'm just worried, Kai…you're so…different these days…"
Kai groaned as the door slammed shut, rolling onto his back, he pulled the quilt closer to him. He was so tired…dreams that wouldn't stop coming kept him awake, and he knew Rei was suspicious of him, but…Kai just preferred not to think about it.
"Kai!" Kai barely had the time to open his eyes, before his breath left him as Rei landed heavily on his stomach, grinning like a maniac. "I got in, Kai." Rei grabbed Kai's cheeks and pulled him up at the same time as he leaned down and kissed Kai hard, still smiling. "I got in!" He repeated, breathily as he murmured against Kai's lips before kissing him innocently again.
Kai blinked, something about the way Rei was…kissing him was making him…wrap his arms around Rei's back and softly rub up and down before settling on his sides and turn him over, deepening the kiss because, if Kai were to be perfectly honest, this felt too surreal and too much like a dream, and he usually did that, in his dreams.
Kissed Rei and turned them around, hands flitting down and mouth opening slightly, slanting and deepening a kiss that didn't want to end. Never noticed that Rei's eyes had flown open in surprise before sliding shut again, content and happy and warm, before moving his legs to better accommodate for Kai's body pressing down on him. If Kai wasn't concerned or bothered by the fact the he was a guy, then Rei certainly wouldn't push him away. Not when Kai was kissing him like this, slowly exploring and pushing closer with a passionate wonder and curious lips, hands holding on tightly and tangled in his hair. Making a muffled sound in the back of his throat, Rei pressed closer, lips nipping Kai's and tongues touching. Touching and exploring.
It was only when Rei suddenly moaned, narrow hips starting to move against Kai's that Kai pulled back, eyes wide as he realised the Rei underneath him staring up with a heavy lidded gaze, swollen lips and passionate eyes was entirely real, and not the Rei from his dreams.
"…Kai?" Kai shook his head, eyes saying more than he had ever been able to say with words and it caused Rei's eyes to harden, to suddenly look angry in away Kai had never seen before. "Fuck you."
Kai frowned, strangely hurt and confused. "Why did you kiss me?" What Kai couldn't understand was why he didn't mind kissing Rei in his dreams, but couldn't even think about wanting to do it in real life.
"Because, Kai, I tend to do that when I'm happy. Haven't you noticed?" Rei's eyes narrowed, and Kai's eyes widened slightly as Rei's fingers dug into his spinal cord. "Get off me."
Kai growled, and he glared. "Fuck you, Rei."
Rei was angry. Angry with Kai for kissing him like he meant it. Angry with himself for the way he reacted when he had always known that Kai had never said that he in anyway found men attractive. Angry with himself for being angry in the first place, when he knew he should be worried, more worried than he was. Rei supposed it was because, as the day turned into night and the hours disappeared into morning, his worry had dissipated into anger at Kai for being this stupid. Stupid enough to just leave and not even give Rei a sign that he was alive and alright; even if it meant Kai would never again want to see Rei and move out.
Just a small sign…
Curled under the covers, clad in one of Kai's way too big shirts which was stupid, Rei knew that. Wearing his clothes wouldn't make Kai closer. He was curled in a ball, hands curled in tight fists around the corners of the pillow, and he was tired, mentally exhausted, his nerves frayed from the emotions that had swept through him; joy, passion, anger, hatred, worry…and now, almost five in the morning; apathy. His last thought, hours ago now, was that he was going to kill Kai so dead, and as he slowly realised that would be a very stupid thing to do, he had felt himself go numb, and hadn't moved from his spot since.
Rei barely startled as someone lay down next to him, slipping a tentative arm around him. Blinking owlishly, Rei turned his head and stared silently up at Kai's closed off face. Then he hit him, hard, fist closed and splitting Kai's lip.
"Well," Rei huffed, and turned his head away. "Sometimes, sorry isn't enough."
Kai didn't say anything, just quietly slid closer again, sucking on his lip so that he wouldn't get blood smeared over his chin and slipped an arm back over Rei's waist.
"Is it okay to be…attracted to you?"
Sighing, Rei wearily sought out Kai's hand, splayed over his stomach. "Was it wrong to kiss me?"
No…no, it wasn't. It was right, and it had been mind-blowing, hot and passionate and, at the time, neither Kai nor Rei had wanted it to end. It was everything Kai had never expected it to be, and it was overwhelming. It had taken him seeing his parents for the first time in months to realise Rei was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he would be a fool, downright an idiot, for letting him go and ruining it by being a coward and running away.
It had taken him seeing his parents and getting smacked in the face with the horrible realisation that in ten years time, he was expected to be what they had become. Kai never wanted to be like them, unhappy and horrible people whose habits and antics disgusted him. People who never laughed and were never happy.
Kai was selfish, and he wanted to be happy. Even if it meant never having their money or social status and invitations to gala premières and being gay and living in a world of people like Yuriy and Boris.
"I'm selfish, Rei."
He felt Rei turn around, and the weak light of early morning reflected in Rei's eyes as he smiled a small smile of promises and hidden happiness that Kai saw and acknowledged, and claimed as his own. "I know."
"I still think you're beautiful."
"And you're still very handsome, Kai." Nudging Kai back, Rei contently slid up next to him, resting his head in the nook of Kai's shoulder and finally closed his eyes. "Even if you're an idiot, sometimes." Curling an arm over Kai's chest, fingers brushing Kai's hair, Rei yawned. "Night."
Kai smiled, his chest warm and heart swelling with something new and unexpected, something Kai decided he liked and wanted more of. "Goodnight."
I...am not feeling absolutely certain of this chapter, but since I couldn't figure out what to do different, I decided to just post it.
Thanks, bye, and review, please?