Hello. One last installment in my mini-series. This one's from Tonk's POV after the battle at Hogwarts. This takes place after Different Sides of the Line. I would recommend reading that story first; you need to read it to understand what's going on in this one. I would also highly recommend reading the first two stories in this series Second Best and Darkest Hour of Night.
Thanks again for reading.
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Tonks stared blankly at the wall of the infirmary, her mind still whirling over the events of the evening. It had been pure, unbridled chaos. And in the chaos she seemed to have managed to destroy the man she'd fallen in love with. She'd loved him for years, practically since she'd met him. And she told him, she left hints, she'd been bold enough to change her Patronus, but he always rejected her.
It wasn't until tonight that she finally understood. He'd been gone for months infiltrating the werewolf pack. She hadn't even thought that he might have fallen in love with someone else. Who would he have fallen in love with? A Voldemort-loving, maddened werewolf? No, not her logical, sensible, self-controlled Remus. But he had.
There, in the chaos of the battle she had turned. She'd turned to find him facing a Death Eater, but this wasn't any Death Eater. She was beautiful, deadly and obviously also a werewolf. They were just staring at each other and she saw quite clearly the love in his expression. The love for her, the werewolf.
It had been jealousy that had made her do it, she admitted to herself. Even though, if asked by anyone else, she would assure them that she'd feared for his life. She hadn't, it was clear in her expression that she would rather die herself than kill him. So she'd mustered her courage. She was a Death Eater, after all, and therefore fair game.
It had been easy, simple, even though she'd never done it before. She supposed, though, that the spell was easier when the caster was filled with hate and jealousy. When the caster really and truly wanted the victim dead; out of the way. How could he have fallen in love with her! She was beneath him. She was a beast. One of Fenrir's maddened guard dogs.
It had almost been beautiful the way she'd fallen. She hadn't just crumpled like so many did. No, she fell with grace, splaying across the ground, robes billowing behind her. She felt jealous, this werewolf could even die gracefully. Tonks was probably the least graceful woman on the earth and it just so happened that the man she loved had fallen for a woman that could die gracefully.
She realized the fighting had moved elsewhere. She just caught sight of McGonagall carrying the Longbottom boy away. They were alone in the corridor. She had to go to him, now was her chance. She could comfort him and he would fall into her arms and kiss her and it would be like everything she had ever dreamed and desired.
"Remus." She said quietly, stepping towards him. Then she caught sight of the other woman's face. She'd seen it before, but she couldn't remember where.
"Get away from me, Tonks!" He yelled. She only just managed to dodge his blindly lashing arm. She stumbled away, her grace working for her once again. What had she done? Had she ruined it all? She loved him, why couldn't he see that?
He hadn't looked at her all night. He'd busted into the infirmary some time earlier carrying Bill. When Fleur had declared her love for him despite the Weasley being bitten, she'd snapped. Why couldn't he love her? But he'd offered her the same excuses, not wanting to give himself away. But she knew and he couldn't avoid it much longer. She knew that he'd fallen in love with a Death Eater.
Minutes later McGonagall arrived and ushered half the room away. Remus tried to get away, following behind them. But she followed. He wouldn't give her the slip that easily.
He was racing down the corridor, heading for the front gate and the grounds. She raced behind him. "What do you want, Tonks?" He demanded harshly.
"Why can't you love me?" She demanded after him.
"I don't love you, Tonks. Nor will I ever love you." He answered harshly.
"So you can fall in love with a filthy Death Eater, but you can't fall in love with me?" She retorted, a step behind him.
He turned too quickly; she would have fallen if he hadn't caught her roughly by the front of her robes and slammed her against the wall. He had a demented look in his eyes. "Don't you dare speak badly about her." He growled and she could hear the wolf coming out in his voice. She shivered and he let her go, storming back towards the grounds.
"You don't understand, Remus! I've loved you for years and then all of a sudden some other woman shows up and steals you away." She yelled. "How am I supposed to act?"
"No," He barked, turning back to face her, "You don't understand! I made her. I'm the one who bit her and created what she was. And for all her faults and for all the rough hands she'd been dealt, I loved her! I've loved her since Hogwarts. She's my mate. That's sacred. I proposed tonight, I blew my cover, she knew everything. If she would have said yes you never would have seen me again, we would have disappeared to America or some blessedly tropical little island. I don't give a damn about the war, Tonks! Aislin and I could have been happy, we could have been alive and in love. But now she's gone because of you."
And then she remembered where she'd seen the woman before; on a small picture that Remus kept next to his bed at Grimmauld Place. In the picture, the two of them would hug before slipping into a tender kiss. James, Sirius and Peter were in the background making disgusted faces. It was from his time at Hogwarts. She was from his time at Hogwarts.
"No." She cried. She could feel tears coming but she fought them back. "I love you."
He didn't dignify her with a response, he just turned his back on her and fled. How was she to know that she'd been his mate; that he'd be lost without her. Maybe, the thought flitted across her mind tauntingly, maybe if she hadn't killed her they would have fallen apart and she and Remus would have had a better chance. But now she'd lost him.
She continued her pursuit. Perhaps everyone thought she was useless. Yes, she couldn't cook and she was a klutz. Sometimes she did her spells wrong and sometimes she accidentally changed her appearance, making her look like a fool. But one thing she didn't do was give up. She wasn't about to give up on Remus now. She followed him.
He was halfway across the grounds when he collapsed, his head in his hands. Her heart broke for him as she ran to him. She knelt down next to him in the dew covered grass and he buried his face into her shoulder. He was crying, weeping. Her Remus was a mess.
"What am I going to do, Tonks? She was the only thing that kept me going. Every time I felt depressed and sad I just thought of her and thought that maybeshe was doing better than I was. It kept me going. Now she's gone. Everyone's gone! James and Lily. Sirius. Peter betrayed us. Dumbledore. And now Aislin! What did I do to deserve this? Everyone I love dies!" He bawled into her shoulder.
"I'm here for you, Remus. I'll always be here for you." She whispered against his hair.
"You should go before I get you killed as well." He murmured, seeming to be coming back to his sense. "Leave me."
"No, Remus. Just let me in! I wont hurt you, I wont leave you. You don't even have to love me, just let me be with you. You shouldn't have to be alone." She whispered, she felt tears threatening to fall.
"Why are you doing this, Tonks?" He whispered, his breath warm against her throat. "I'm old and broken and you're young and whole."
"I love you." She said, then added quickly before Remus could interrupt and provide the same lame excuses he'd uttered every time she confessed her love. "And I know you don't love me. I know that you could never love me as much as you loved her. But just give me a chance, Remus. Just one chance, so I can be happy the way you were happy with her. That's all I'm asking for; one chance."
And he did.