A/N: Alright, seems like I can't escape these pairing fics. I have gotten mutiple requests to do a Kiyo/Dufort pairing fic, and so, seeing as I didn't want it to be "just another slash/pairing fic", I decided to add... a sick little twist to it. This actually works out alright, as I haven't touched on this... genre yet. On a side note, I finally changed my username. :D It's nothing special or original, but I prefer it over my old one.
"Why would you take us back to the Zatch Bell section?" cried Kiyo in despair, biting down on his lip fiercely in an attempt to stop his furious tears. "You could have left the site! It would have been so easy! You could have saved us all!"
"I agree!" piped in Megumi, looking nearly as horrified. "You had full control of the computer and were not even in the Zatch Bell section, I see no reason why you couldn't just click that lovely exit button up there. Is this a revenge thing? If so, you're being just as immature as Kiyo and Folgore were earlier! You're not making things better, you're just doing the same thing everyone else has been doing to each other for the past who knows how long now! I can't say I'm any better, I did the exact same thing earlier, but now I realize my wrong-doings! It's an infinite cycle, can't you see? Are you even listening to me?"
It's hard to say whether or not Sunbeam even heard her. If he did, he didn't respond, as he was too busy browsing through the various fanfictions. He made sure to choose Kiyo as a specific character to increase the probability of finding a fanfiction to torment him with. It didn't take too long. The moment he saw the word 'Slash', he was sold.
Summary: Birth. Truly a beautiful process. But when the two parents are this greatly in love, it makes the event all the more magical. KiyoxDufort Slash.
"Nooo, not slash AGAIN!" moaned Kiyo, collapsing face-first into the ground. Dufort, although silent, looked nearly as terrified, glancing frantically around the room for an escape in which his mamodo would not notice. Neither of them seemed to have heard the part of the summary that spoke of birth, however. "Why do I have to suffer again?" continued to whine Kiyo. "Folgore made us sit through My Immortal, why doesn't he get to pay too?"
"Oh don't worry," replied Sunbeam calmly. "He'll get what's coming to him soon after."
Folgore gulped. Sunbeam read the last part of the summary.
"What is 'Mpreg'?" muttered Sunbeam as he read over the summary again, having not noticed Folgore look up suddenly, the largest and most horrified frown covering his face.
"Have'a mercy!" he cried, scrambling wildly over to Sunbeam. "I'a know I'a read'a My Immortal and all, but'a this'a is'a too much even for'a me'a! It's'a so'a wrong'a, so'a sick'a, I'a... I'a... Mamma Mia..."
"What does it mean?" asked Sunbeam, looking down at the terrified man who had fallen to the floor in exhaustion. Too weak to speak to the group as a whole, Folgore beckened Sunbeam over so he could whisper its horrible, disgusting meaning into his ear.
"Good god!" gasped Sunbeam, recoiling and straightening up suddenly. "It's... it's horrible... it's so wrong... it's so sick... it's... it's... PERFECT!"
Author's note: Hey guys! Thanks for reading my story. I hope you just LOVE it! OMG I just realized something awesome, can you guess what it is? This is my 20th KiyoxDufort slash fic! :D WOW! I'm dedicated!
"No, you're pathetic!" spat Kiyo, thrusting his nose away from the computer as if it was emitting a horrible smell. "Who spends so much time writing such filth?"
This story is going to be totally both hot and cute. Oh btw I'd like to thank my BFFL Justine for helping me out and giving me this idea in the first place! You're awesome girl you rock!
"O.M.G! Your like so goffik girl L.O.L.O.L.O.L! We should, like, totally slit our wrists together again sometime laughing out loud. Then we can listen to Gerard Way and organism to his vo-" Zeno stopped in mid-sentence when he realized Wonrei was in his face, snorting heavily like an angered bull.
"Look you precocious little turd, don't you EVER reference that work again!" he warned, narrowing his eyes and grasping the boy's face with both hands. For a split second, Zeno was sure he could feel his eyes piercing into his tiny soul. "My Immortal DOES NOT exist! It never did! That was all in our imaginations!"
"Oh come on," stammered Zeno, forcing an evil grin. Strangely, he actually felt somewhat afraid of this partially insane young man. "It was just a little jo-"
"Does not exist."
"Okay dumbass, you just keep telling yourself that and see if it comes tru-"
"Does not. Exist."
"Okay really now you're ju-"
"DOES. NOT... EXIST!"
"Our baby will be beautiful" whispered Dufort calmly, wrapping his arms around his husband's abdomen.
"Abdomen?" muttered Dufort, a grimace distorting his usually impassive facial features. That just didn't sound right.
"Aw man, a kid?" moaned Kiyo, slumping his shoulders and slouching over. "It's bad enough it's slash, but I don't want to think about Dufort and I as parents... ugh... Well, maybe it'll at least take the focus off the slash. How are we getting this child? Adoption? Surrogancy? I don't care how, just please take the focus away from the slash... please..."
"Oh, you'll see," murmured Sunbeam. grinning psychotically. This was going to be fabulous, he just knew it.
Kiyo giggled like a school girl (he's so cute ;D).
"Of course" he replied, pecking Dufort gently on the cheek. "I bet it'll have your eyes and hair."
"No" Dufort cooed back. "It'll look more like you."
"Uh, noooooo," responded Kiyo flatly, blinking. "If Dufort is the sperm donor, it'll look more like him. There can only be one daddy, not two! I of all people should know, I have an IQ of over 180," he added, jabbing himself so hard in the chest there was no doubt it would leave a bruise. "I'm smart! I am I am!
Kiyo turned away, closing his eyes and laughing as Dufort breathed down his neck. Dufort's breath. So warm yet so cool that it sent pleasant shivers down Kiyo's spine.
"What is he, one of those warming and cooling muscle pain patch?" snorted Wonrei, seemingly having recovered from the previous My Immortal trauma. "I understand this is written by a deluded fangirl, but at least try and make some sense."
Kiyo and Dufort were about the same height and body type, but Dufort tended to take the dominate roles.
"LALALALA!" yelled Kiyo, clamping his hands over his ears. "DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT! DON'T NEED TO IMAGINE THAT!"
"You think you're suffering," muttered Dufort, quietly and calmly as usual. "You're not the one who has to put his-"
"SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP!" shrieked Kiyo, grasping his ears so tight you'd swear he was trying to tear them out. "God dammit! One of the few times you actually talk and you have to go and say that? I DON'T NEED TO IMAGINE THAT ANYMORE VIVIDLY!"
Dufort smirked slightly, turning away so Kiyo wouldn't see it. Although he wasn't fond of the brutal mutilation his character had to endure, the reaction it was pulling out of Kiyo did amuse him somewhat. Kiyo was much more emotional than he, after all. To Dufort, having to listen to a slash about himself was simply a... minor annoyance. Sure, he didn't really want to listen to it, no one would if they had the choice, and it certainly disgusted him, it just didn't look like there was anyway of escaping it so he might as well just grin and bear it. He had lived in an asylum for most of his life anyway, it would take a bit more than a few fanfictions written by socially awkward virgin 13-year-olds to get a real, honest-to-god reaction out of him.
Besides, when the time comes where he finally manages to destroy humanity, he wouldn't have to worry about such petty things as that anyway.
That's how the miracle happened.
As calm as he was, Dufort couldn't help but flinch at that line, surprising himself. Like the line from awhile back, something about that sentence sounded... very, very wrong.
Dufort's arms wrapped tighter around Kiyo's engorged belly, the life inside kicking and moving at every opportunity
To say Kiyo's eyes simply dilated would be the understatement of the year, possibly the century. In fact, it was astonishing someone didn't have to go over to him and shove his eyes right back into his sockets.
"W-what?" he stammered, an unusual numbness washing over his entire body. Dufort took a sharp intake of breath. He knew it, he freaking knew it. He, unlike Kiyo, had listened to the tiny hints dropped throughout the story, and he knew it was coming. Despite the circumstances, Dufort still took the time to thank whatever entity there was out there for not making him the pregnant one.
Kiyo and Dufort weren't the only ones affected by that revelation either, the whole group itself had become alive with whispering and muttering, the facial features ranging from disgusted to confused to even both.
"Oh my," gasped Sherry, covering her mouth in shock. "I know we women say we wish men knew how we felt, but this is going too far."
"Kiyo... w... what... how?" whimpered Suzy, holding her head and stumbling back as if she had just taken in too much information.
"I thought only girls could have babies," said Tia meekly, a few of the other young mamodos (and Suzy) nodding frantically in agreement. The partners groaned unanimously, clearly not wanting to have to attempt to explain that.
"Oh wow," howled Zeno, throwing his head back and letting the laughter just flow out. "Even I... I couldn't create something this... this... Oh hell yes! This is gold! Congratz Dufort," he added, patting his partner on the shoulder.
Kiyo was having Dufort's baby, and he couldn't be happier.
"Wha... Wh..." breathed a shocked Kiyo, unable to make a coherent sentence at the moment.
Sure, they never really planned for it, but sometimes the best things are surprises.
Kiyo smiled, he just knew they were gonna be great parents.
Kiyo placed his hand on top of Dufort's. Kiyo was 8 months along, only 1 more month til he gave birth. He heard it was a hard process, but it would totally be worth it.
"YOU SICK BITCH!" finally roared Kiyo, attempting to stand but failing, his legs folding and collapsing beneath him. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? WHY WOULD YOU WANT THIS?"
"My goodness..." murmured Doctor Riddles, taking off his glasses and wiping off the steam caused by his extensive sweating. "I don't even wish to imagine how that happens... Oh Lord I'm imagining it now... Oh god... oh..."
The Doctor suddenly bent down and hid his face in his open palms, moaning in disgust and nearly causing poor Kido to lose his balance and fall off his shoulder. He choked back a sob, begging to god that at the very least the process would be taken care of by C-Section.
Nobody knew how it happened, and no one really cared.
"I DO!" cried a traumatized Kiyo, shivering and holding his knees to his face.
"Uh... yes..." said Megumi flatly, looking unsure on how to properly respond to that. "I think if I were to get a call inviting me to Kiyo's baby shower, I most likely would care somewhat. And may have a few questions. Just a few."
Kiyo couldn't wait, he LOVED children!
"I HATE children!" spat Kiyo without even giving the words he spoke a thought. Only when he heard a small whimper fall from the lips of his young mamodo did he realize impact he made. "Oh... uh... except you Zatch," he added weakly, flashing the boy a nervous grin. "You're awesome."
"What about me?" whined Tia, also offended by his statement.
"Ugh... yeah... you too Tia."
"And me?" demanded Kanchome, placing his hands on his hips and pouting.
"You I tolerate," stated Kiyo dryly, narrowing his eyes at him. Kanchome met this response by blowing him a raspberry and running over to Folgore's side.
"Shut the hell up Ponygon, you know damn well how I feel about yo-GAH MY HAND!"
Kiyo turned to face Dufort and smiled. Their lips touched and they began to make out passionately, their tongues sliding in and out of each other's mouths.
"Mmmm mmmmnnummpph slurp mmmmnh," mocked Zatch, clenching his fist and slobbering all over it as if it were a pair of lips. "Oh ravish me now you sexy beast!... I don't really know what that means, but I heard it from some dorama Kiyo watches... I think it's called 'Six Litres of Tears for my Gentle Fluttering Heart'."
"I swear to god I don't watch that!" Kiyo loudly assured the group. If Kiyo was beet-red before, he looked about ready to explode now. The fanfiction was bad enough, why did Zatch have to go and make his embarrassment 10x worse? Kiyo mentally noted that, if he ever got control back of the computer, he was going to make Zatch pay for that.
Suddenly Kiyo felt weird and he knew something was wrong.
"Oh no!" cried Kiyo as felt a weird wetness on his crotch.
"Forgot to put on your Depends again, did you now Kiyo?" snorted Brago, grinning proudly at his snarky comment. It certainly wasn't the most clever comment, but hey, it got boring sitting alone in a corner, he had to find some ways of entertaining himself. Watching Kiyo squirm was certainly entertaining. In fact, making Kiyo squirm seemed to have become the favorite activity for much of the group.
His water had broken!
"Dufort I think the baby's coming early!"
And then Kiyo fell and started to go into labor "OH MY GAWD I THINK IT'S COMING! I CAN FEEL IT'S HEAD!"
"But where is it coming out of?" squeaked Li-en, and she began to shudder. "Ew..."
"Oh for heaven's sake!" exclaimed Doctor Riddles, shaking his head in disgust. "Does this person know anything about birth? Ignoring the fact that this is happening to a man, this has to be the most unrealistic portrayal of birth I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. I am a doctor, I think I know a little more about this than she clearly does. How old is she? Ten? Eleven? Clearly this person has never taken a sexual education class."
Sunbeam stopped reading for a moment to click the author's user name and browse through her profile.
"Says there she's twenty-three," said Sunbeam finally, going back to the story's main page. Doctor Riddles was silent for a good while, staring blankly into space.
"My hope in humanity is officially destroyed," he finally said, turning away from the group to stare at the wall in both anger and misery.
"OH MY GOD! IT CAN'T BE!" yelled Dufort and he ran out of the room.
"You bastard!" exclaimed Kiyo, stomping over and swiftly smacking a dumbstruck Dufort across the face, knocking him over. "The moment I go into labor and you leave my pregnant ass laying alone on the floor? There's no way in hell I'm letting you have him on the weekends! You have failed as both a husband and a fa-"
It was that moment Kiyo came to his senses and realized what he was doing, and what he was saying. He didn't need to look around to know he was being stared at (although it would be a lie to say everyone was looking at him. Much of the group had become accustomed to these random and unusual outbursts and didn't think much of them anymore. It was best to ignore them and pretend they never happened anyway).
"Uh... I... I'm sorry..." stammered a flushed Kiyo, backing slowly away from Dufort, who was rubbing the forming bruise and staring at him in disbelief. "I... I guess I was getting a little too caught up..."
"I'M GOING TO CALL AN AMBULANCE SO YOU CAN BE TAKEN TO A HOSPITAL TO PROPERLY GIVE BIRTH!"
"See, I was calling an ambulance for your ungrateful ass," muttered Dufort, sending Kiyo an unpleasant glance.
"Be quick my love" gasped Kiyo. He was sure the baby was ready to come.
Suzy couldn't hold it anymore. The mere thought of a man giving birth, especially her beloved Kiyo, was too much, and she began to retch. She grasped her stomach and bent over her arm, coughing and gasping. "I-I'm sorry," she stammered between gags, tears running down her cheeks. "I-I can't do this! I would never wish that on any man, especially Kiyo!" with that, she scrambled up to her feet and made a bee-line for the washroom.
The ambulance soon came, and loaded a gasping Kiyo into the back. Dufort followed, never letting go of his lovers hand.
"I'm so scared" gasped Kiyo to Dufort, tears welling up in his beautiful hazel eyes.
"Considering where the baby might be coming out of, I'd be afraid too," said Wonrei, frowning and folding his legs as if to hide his groin. Kiyo let out an agonised howl.
"Noooo!" he screamed, holding his head and throwing it back. "Don't make me think about it! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?"
"Actually, come to think of it, I don't know why I'm covering my groin. Who says that's where the baby's coming out of?"
"OH MY GOD!"
"You can do it" assured Dufort placing his hand on his cheek. "You're so brave, and I'm so proud of you. I'll always be by your side baby, forever and ever."
Even though Kiyo's contractions were getting worse, with Dufort by his side he felt safe and happy and knew everything was gonna be OK. He slowly closed his eyes and went to sleep.
End of chapter 1
Sunbeam took in a deep breath, turning around to admire his work. The group were certainly not on the verge of hysterics, not by a long shot, but still repulsed, perturbed, and somewhat unsure of how to react to the new-found genre that was MPreg. Sunbeam hadn't really intended to make the rest of the group suffer too much, but you know, extra points. Besides, he got what he wanted from his actual victim, who was laying crumpled on the ground, quivering, muttering, and holding himself. He had heard Kiyo choke back a sob the moment 'End of chapter 1' was spoken. Kiyo knew darn well that meant there were multiple chapters. Multiple chapters that included him giving birth and raising a child, all the while being in a sexual relationship with one of his greatest enemies. Sunbeam then looked at Dufort, who was anxiously chewing his lip but aside from that seemed reasonably collected. For a moment, Sunbeam felt kind of guilty for dragging him down along with Kiyo, but then remembered that Dufort was probably kind of an evil dickweed and he could fry for all he cared.
Well I hope you liked my story so far. :D Dufort and Kiyo are so hot, and they're gonna be great daddies. :D Tune in next time when Kiyo births his baby! It's gonna be so cute! :3
"Jesus Christ, there's fifteen chapters of this awful story," muttered Sunbeam, scanning the chapter list. He peered over at Kiyo, who was looking physically ill and twitching, still laying in a fetal position on the ground. As satisfying as it was for Sunbeam to watch him suffer, deep down he felt a little bad. The thought of any man, especially himself, carrying and giving birth to a child was... highly disturbing to say the very least. Sunbeam got pity pains in his lower regions just thinking about it. He sighed, hovering the pointer up to the top left and clicking the back button. One chapter was enough.
"You've suffered enough," stated Sunbeam, little emotion in his voice. "I see no point in hurting you more."
"Oh thank you!" sobbed Kiyo, crawling over to Sunbeam and throwing himself around his leg. "Thank you thank you thank yooouuu!"
Sunbeam smiled slightly, scanning the lists of fanfictions once again while ignoring the annoying, blubbering mass the insisted on attaching itself to his leg.
"If I spend anymore time on you," he said calmly, browsing through the Folgore-themed stories. "We'll have no time for our Italian friend over there."
Folgore paled and swallowed. "Oh'a boy..."