Remus sat on the hospital bed and watched as Madam Pomfrey strolled past him back and forth with a worried look on her old face.
"Can you tell me again about the symptoms that you have been feeling lately Mr.Lupin?" she asked and sat down on a chair as if she were to feel faint any minute.
Remus was silent for a moment then opened his mouth, "Well, I have been feeling…sick. I'm throwing up every morning and Sirius insisted that I come here and get checked out."
Pomfrey nodded. Then she sprang up from her chair and went over to a bookshelf. She looked at it for a moment and then she went up on her toes and reached for an old and worn out book.
She flipped through it, then stopped at the nearly end and read to herself. The only things she said were things like 'hmm' and 'oh dear' and 'that's impossible'.
At this point Remus was getting annoyed, scared and tense all at the same time; few minutes past and Pomfrey closed the book and walked over to Remus slowly.
"Remus, I don't know how to tell you this or ask you, but have you been having sex?"
Remus' face nearly fell off!
"Excuse me?" his face was so red from embarrassment but in the end he nodded a little, "But what does that have anything to do with it?"
Pomfrey whimpered unpleasantly, "Well Remus, you being a…a werewolf, gives you the ability to get…um…pregnant and…" Pomfrey stopped and when she was Remus' face, he looked extremely scared and confused.
If there was something Pomfrey hated it was telling young teenage girls that they were pregnant but this she hated even more, telling a young teenage boy that he was pregnant.
Pomfrey nodded, "Yes Remus, and it's because of your wolf genes, they tend to take over when you have sexual intercourse and choose a mate. If it were a female, she would get pregnant but since it's a male, you get pregnant."
Remus stood up from the bed and muttered something to himself, "Oh god, what am I going to do? What will I tell Sirius?"
"What you must."
Remus spun around and looked at Pomfrey with shock. For a moment Pomfrey thought he was going to cry but instead he sighed and his faced relaxed, "But what will I say?"
Sirius sat in an armchair, it had been an hour since Remus went to see Pomfrey and it was making him worried to think about how long it was taking the werewolf.
The common room was nearly empty. There was only him, James, Peter and some third years. Sirius had known something was wrong when Remus threw up this morning for the fourth time this week, and don't forget not eating and constant tiredness.
"Don't worry mate, I'm sure he's fine," James said trying to comfort his friend, "this is Moony we're talking about."
Sirius only nodded, not sure if should believe James or not.
While walking down the corridors of Hogwarts, Remus tried to figure out what to say to Sirius and the others. 'Oh here's a good one; Sirius now that we are sixteen and young and fresh with our whole lives ahead of us, oh sorry we can't live our lives anymore coz I'm pregnant, better start saving for diapers!'
"Great," Remus muttered bitterly, "aren't I supposed to be happy right now?"
He soon reached to portrait hole and said the password, causing the painting to swing open and he climbed in.
There, to his displeasure, he was greeted by a very worried Sirius Black.
"What did she say, you're not dying, are you?"
"Oh god, you are dying!" Sirius sobbed and grabbed hold of Remus' shirt, "Remus, I love you, you hear me, I love you no matter what!"
"I'm not dying."
"DON'T LOOK INTO THE LIGHT, REMUS LOOK AWAY!"
"Turn back, follow my voice Remus."
"I'M NOT DYING SIRUS!"
Sirius let go of Remus, "Then what?"
"Come on, I need to talk to you." Remus said and dragged Sirius into the boy's dormitories. He shoved Sirius in and slammed the door after he had gone in after him.
"What is it darling?" Sirius asked.
"You should sit down Sirius, this is big and I don't know how you'll take it." Remus said and pulled him down on the bed.
Remus was quiet for a while, and then spoke, "You love me, right?"
"Of course I do," the taller boy said and smiled.
"No matter what, no matter what would happen, you would always be there for me and love me?" Remus had tears in his eyes now.
"No matter what Remus. What's wrong you are starting to scare me." Sirius said and hugged the werewolf and wiped away his tears.
Remus sniffed, "I-I'm….I-I'm,"
"You're what Remus?" Sirius asked and brought Remus' face to meet his so he was looking into his eyes. Remus looked away and said in a tiny whisper, "Pregnant."
"You know, a little baby inside me, a little bundle of "joy", the apple of our eye," Remus said and sniffed again.
"I know what pregnant means," Sirius said, his voice getting higher and sterner, "You sure it's mine?"
"Of course it's yours! What? You think I'm out there shagging the whole school?" Remus half-yelled at his boyfriend, the tears clear and running down his face freely.
Sirius realised he had hurt Remus by his last comment and went over to him and hugged him, "I'm sorry babe, I-I didn't mean it like that."
Remus only sobbed harder, "I know you didn't, you're just upset…obviously."
They stayed like that for a while until Remus looked up, "We've got eavesdroppers," Sirius looked up and at the door, "Potter, Pettigrew, if you two want to know what's going on you simply have to ask for permission to come in."
The door creaked open and there stood two ashamed boys, "Sorry," James muttered and Peter nodded in agreement.
"Close the door please," Remus muttered and hid his face in Sirius' neckline.
Peter closed the door and sat down next to James, who had sat down on Sirius' bed and was now watching his friends.
"So what are you going to do?"
Sirius shook his head, "I don't know, I honestly don't."
They all stayed in total silence until Remus said to them, "Mum will think I'm a total slut."
Sirius chuckled, "No she won't."
Remus looked up at his boyfriend, "Sirius, we're only sixteen, how are we gonna do this. I mean we can't take care of a little baby so young and what about our N.E.W.T's?"
Sirius only looked down at his lap and shook his head.
"Maybe I should get an abortion."
Sirius' head snapped up, "WHAT?" he let go of Remus, "you-you can't do that, that's like murdering your own kid…I won't let you do that Remus."
"Sirius Black, how dare you say that to me, we are sixteen! How on earth would we cope with a child anyway?"
James and Peter looked at each other and then at the door, then slowly made their way out the door.
"I don't know Remus, but we'll try and maybe we should start with telling our parents."
"My parents, are you crazy? My mum would strangle me with her own hands," there were fresh tears forming in Remus' eyes now, "and I really doubt your parents will accept a mudblood werewolf."
"Your mum is an understanding woman, she will help us," Sirius said and grabbed a hold of Remus, "there is no reason we should have to go through this alone and an abortion is the last thing we should be thinking about."
Remus only nodded a little.
"So we are going to have a baby?"
A couple of weeks past and Remus' belly grew about an inch. He still wasn't sure about this thing inside him at all.
Sirius on the other hand, couldn't stop talking about it.
He would lie on Remus' bed with his head next to his boyfriends belly and talk to the baby and Remus.
"Have you thought of any baby names?"
Remus looked up from his book and at Sirius, "No, have you?"
"Yeah a couple. If it's a girl; Lamia, Aleris, Erda or Milla and if it's a boy; Tate, Draigh or Cosmo," Sirius said, not taking his eyes of Remus' stomach.
"Wow, you've really given this some thought," Remus said raising an eyebrow, "and you chose some really strong names."
Sirius only smiled.
"I'm really hungry," he finally said, "let's go to lunch."
He dragged Remus up to a sitting position and then picked him up bridal style, "Come here little mommy."
Remus giggled sweetly and wrapped his arms around his neck, "I can walk fine on my own, thank you very much. But this works too."
"Now Remus, I want you to come to me if there is anything you need to ask about, is that clear?" Pomfrey said putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.
Remus nodded then thought for a moment, "What about the full moons, won't the wolf hurt the baby?"
Pomfrey shook her head, "No, if anything it will protect it," she paused, "the wolf knows he has a cub now so he will take things easy and mostly just sleep."
Remus nodded again then looked up at the older woman, "But…what will I do about the gigantic bump that will form?"
The woman sighed, "Well there are some hiding spells that could help."
Remus nodded once again, putting hands on his growing belly. He sighed, jumped off the hospital bed and turned to look at Pomfrey, "I should go…thanks for everything."
Then he turned to leave but Pomfrey stopped him, "It seems to me Remus that you're not to thrilled about this little bundle of joy?"
There was something in Remus that wanted to say he wasn't thrilled at all, yet there was something in him that just couldn't say it so he just smiled and said, "Oh I am, I'm just tired…that's all."
Pomfrey smiled back, patting him on the shoulder, "You take care of yourself Mr. Lupin and tell Mr. Black he should help you as much as he can or it's me he'll be facing. And don't forget your check up in two weeks, alright?"
Remus nodded and chuckled in amusement at her comment, "I will…should I bring Sirius with me?"
"If you like," the woman said, "in fact, yes, I would like to talk to him as well."
Remus gave her a final nod then turned to the door and started to walk back to the dorm, not really watching where he was going he bumped into someone, "Oh I'm so sorry,"
"Save it freak, I don't want your apology," came a voice full of disgust. Remus looked up and saw none other than Severus Snape standing there, a head taller than him and looking down at him like he was some kind of a bug he wanted to squish.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't call me a freak, thank you."
"I'll call you whatever I want, and I do believe I have a right to after that stupid prank you and your idiotic 'friends' played on me last year," Snape said in a matter-of-fact voice. Remus only thought it made him sound like that snob Malfoy.
"It wasn't a prank Severus, it was never meant to happen," Remus explained, "listen, why don't we put our differences aside and try to live in peace."
"Yeah right," Snape said, "like that's gonna happen," he put a hand on his hip and bent down to Remus' eye level, "I'll get even one of these days, mark my words," then he strode off in the direction of the library.
"Whatever." Remus muttered and continued his way to the common room.
Soon came the full moon. To Padfoot's and Prongs' surprise, Remus had transformed, howled a little and just went to the old bed and got to sleep. They didn't protest one bit.
Padfoot had gone over to Moony and lay down next to him.
"Everything looks good Remus," Pomfrey said happily, "the full moon went well?"
Remus nodded and stood up from the hospital bed, "Pomfrey…I was wondering…"
"Can you tell about the gender yet?"
The old lady looked at him for a moment before smiling, "You really want to know?"
The werewolf nodded then hesitated, "You think I shouldn't?"
Poppy smiled kindly, "If you really want to know, I'll tell you."
"I want to know," Remus said sadly then put a hand on the bump that grew bigger by the day, "I want to know, just so I can feel some affection towards it…maybe it will help to know the gender."
Pomfrey looked sad, "I was afraid you didn't want the baby, Remus, but I really hope that if I tell you the gender you will change your mind about it. After all, you of all people should love and care for a healthy young baby…" she was cut off by Sirius bursting into the hospital wing, "Remus! I am so sorry I'm late…Quidditch practice ran late but I hurried over here as soon as it was over."
Pomfrey sighed, "A half hour late Mr. Black," then she gave him an odd smile that probably no one had ever seen her give before, it was mischievous, like she knew a huge secret…then again, she did.
Her smile dropped all of a sudden and she took a long hard look at Sirius. The boy looked at her back but only slightly nervous, "Um…Miss. Pomfrey?"
"Not a word Black," she said, "when you burst through that door I was cut off telling Mr. Lupin about the gender of your baby."
Sirius' eyes went wide with excitement, "Really?" he asked happily. He literally had stars in his eyes now, "and what is it?"
She chuckled, "Well Mr. Black…it's a healthy baby…" but yet again there was interruption. The doors of the hospital wing swung open in such a rush that it banged hardly against the wall, and in ran professor Slughorn with a student from Ravenclaw who apparently had long green elfish ears and mad frizzy red hair, "Oh Poppy, sorry for the outburst but this student needs tending right away!"
Pomfrey gave a 'oh dear' then looked at Remus and Sirius, "We'll have to talk later…I hope that's alright?"
Sirius was about to protest but Remus put his arm on his shoulder, "Of course Poppy…we'll see you later," the he took Sirius' hand and they walked out together.
When they had walked the half way back to the common room Sirius asked, "Why'd you do that Moony?"
There was no reply.
"Don't you want to know what gender our baby is?"
There was silence for the rest of the walk to the common room. Remus had never answered Sirius' question and he hadn't even looked at him.
When they got to the boys dormitory Remus went straight to the bathroom and locked the door. Moments later Sirius could hear the water from the shower running and he sighed 'I'm really starting to think he doesn't care.'
Then he lay down on Remus' bed and dozed off.
The hot running water felt nice on Remus' skin. He always took a shower when he felt like his brain was going to explode from too much thinking.
He looked down at the little bump and stroked over it, "This is not a good time for me…you thing!" he muttered harshly, "I don't want you and I don't care for you."
Then little tears started to blend in with the water from the shower and finally Remus sat down in the shower and cried.
It was late and Sirius, James and Peter were all fast asleep but Remus sat at the foot of his bed where Sirius slept peacefully.
'Should I go back to Poppy and ask her about the gender?' Remus thought, 'I have the feeling I just have to know…maybe feel a little affection for this baby.'
Then he stood up from the bed and walked out of the boys dormitory.
The hallways were dark and the chances of running into a teacher were high but Remus didn't worry about that He had a strong nose and could easily smell them and hide from them.
When he finally reached the hospital wing it was locked, 'Maybe I shouldn't do this,' he thought sadly, 'maybe I should just go back to bed and start to love this 'bundle of joy'.'
He looked at the door, then down at his slippers and before he knew it he was knocking on the door.
There was silence but suddenly the voice of Poppy was heard, "Oh dear, who could that be so late?" it was muffled but Remus could hear it. She sounded worried.
The doors opened and she stuck her head out the door. First she looked like she didn't see anything because of the dark but when her eyes adjusted she saw Remus, "Oh dear, what's wrong sweetheart?" she asked him motherly.
He didn't answer, just looked sadly at the floor, then muttered, "I'm sorry that I woke you."
She shook her head and gave him a kind smile, "You didn't wake me," she said, "I was up late going over some files," then she opened the door more and stepped aside, "come inside dear."
He walked inside the hospital wing and sat down on one of the beds. She sat down next to him, "What's troubling you dear?"
Remus sighed, "Well…just about everything right now," the woman didn't say anything but let him continue, "What if I become my dad?" he sighed, "What if I will leave Sirius because I don't love my child?"
"Is that what your father did?" Poppy asked sad.
Remus nodded, "It's hard being young and then all of a sudden you have to take care of a kid you don't even want," he sighed, "he was 17 and my mother was 15…I give him credit for five years."
Poppy was silent for a while then stood up ,"I know you better than you think Remus and I know you will not be anything like your father," then she walked to her office and got a file from her desk.
When she came back she gave Remus the file.
"This file has everything about the baby. From size to gender. I want you to go and read it, but be sure to give it back soon."
It was about 04:00 am when Remus came back to the dorm. Everyone was still asleep so he went back down to the common room and sat down in one of the armchairs with the file on his lap.
He opened it slowly and began to read, 'Wow this kid is small,' he thought and smiled for the first time in a long time.
The day after Sirius woke up alone. He saw James getting dressed across the room, "Hey, you seen Moony?"
James shook his head, "Nope, he didn't come to bed last night?" then he walked over and sat down on the bed.
Sirius shook his head 'no', "You think he's mad at me?"
"Have you done something worth getting mad at?"
The other boy thought for a moment, "No, I don't believe I have," then he cleared his throat, "I think he's still in shock…that makes sense, right?"
James shrugged, "Sure, whatever…listen, let's go down to breakfast. Maybe he's there," then he threw his pillow at Peter, "wake up Wormtail, breakfast."
The blonde jerked out of slumber, "Um…yeah, sure," then he went back to sleep.
James shook his head, "He won't be waking up anytime soon."
Sirius was fully dressed and ran a hand through his long black hair, "Let's go then," they walked out of the dorm and down the stairs and to the common room. On one of the chairs sat Remus, still awake and still reading the file.
He looked up at them with a smile, "Good morning."
"Remus," Sirius said, "have you been awake all night?"
The wolf nodded, "Yes, I was just reading."
"Well, James and I were just going down to breakfast. Would you like to join us love?" Remus nodded and stood up and put a little spell on his belly to hide the growing bump, "Ok, I'm ready."
Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, "Why do you hide it anyway? You look so beautiful when you're pregnant."
Remus blushed, "Don't be crazy," he muttered and his smile faded a little, "I-I look fat," then he gave him a nervous chuckle, "let's go, I'm starving here…I'm eating for two now."
The boys laughed and went down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
"For someone who's eating for two you sure eat little Moony," James said and took a sip of his pumpkin juice, "I think you should eat a little more."
"Guess I wasn't that hungry," Remus said and pushed the plate away, then gave them a smile, "I was thinking about going to the hospital wing, I have to give Poppy something ok?" he said and stood up. Sirius also stood up, "I'll come with you." Then James also stood up, "Me too."
"I-um…ok," Remus said confused, but smiling.
The corridors of Hogwarts were empty. Being Saturday, most of the students were still in bed or at breakfast in the Great Hall.
The three friends walked down the corridor chatting, "Do you know the gender yet?" James asked, "No not yet. Pomfrey got interrupted when she was going to tell us," Sirius answered.
Wrong, Remus knew. He just didn't say anything about it. Why was beyond him.
"Gender on what, Lupin?" came a sly voice from behind, "Because it seems to me that it's a great mystery."
"What does he want?" Remus muttered and gave Severus a dirty look, "why can't he just bugger off?"
Sirius shrugged, "He likes to take a beating?" then he took his wand from his pocket. Severus did the same, "I wouldn't try anything Black."
"Oh yeah? And why is that?" Sirius smirked, "I just love it when you talk tough."
Aiming his wand at Remus, "This is for last year, you freak," then he shouted 'Sectumsempra' and the last thing Remus saw was blood splattering before he passed out.
Sirius dropped his wand, or more like tossed it away, and ran over to Remus, "Remy?" he called tears running like waterfalls down his cheeks, "Oh god, Remus…the baby,"
"Come on Sirius, we have to hurry to Madam Pomfrey," James said quickly. Sirius nodded and picked Remus up and they went as fast as they could to the hospital wing.
Meanwhile Severus still stood there, "Baby?" he said to himself. Then he noticed the file Remus had been holding. He picked it up and opened it, "Oh my god."
"Pomfrey!" James shouted when he swung the doors of the hospital wing open, "Poppy, please we need you,"
The old lady came storming out of her office, "What is this racket?"
Then she gave a horrifying gasp when she saw Sirius holding an unconscious Remus covered in blood. He had gashes on his forehead and over his chest, "Put him on the bed, Sirius," she said and hurried over, "Mr. Potter go get the Headmaster," she ordered and James ran out of the hospital wing, "What in the name of everything holy, what happened?" she then asked.
Sirius was still crying, "I-I…he-I-" he stuttered.
"It's quite alright Sirius," she hushed, "just sit down over there," she pointed at a chair next to the bed.
It had been three hours since they came running to the hospital wing. Pomfrey had tended to the wounds and stopped the blood from running. She had also done some tests to see if the baby was alright. She walked out of her office and came over to the hospital bed where Remus slept. Sirius, James and Peter all were there.
Her eyes were puffy and red, as if she had been crying in her office, "S-Mr. Black?" she said quietly, "Can I speak to you for a moment?"
"He's alright isn't he?" Sirius asked when Pomfrey had pulled him away from James and Peter. Poppy nodded, "He's fine…but the baby…it-it didn't make it," her eyes became glossy from tears. She tried to hold them back but it was impossible. The tears started to slide down her cheeks once more, "I'm so sorry Sirius," she began to sob quietly.
Sirius didn't know what to say or what to think, 'Our baby is dead?' he thought. He clenched his knuckles and he bowed his head, tears began to fall on the stone floor, "Why?" he muttered angrily under his breath.
Pomfrey looked at him shocked, "Did you say something, dear?"
Sirius looked up, his expression was angry and his face was wet from the tears, "Why?"
The poor woman shook her head, "The pressure was too much for it."
Sirius nodded once then walked over to James and Peter, "Padfoot, what's wrong?" Peter asked concerned, "Remus will be ok, won't he?"
"He'll be fine." he muttered.
"Then what's wrong?" Peter asked again, "Why aren't you happy?"
Sirius didn't say anything. It took a few seconds for James to realise, but then it clicked. He closed his eyes and whispered, "Oh no…"
Peter looked from Sirius to James, "What is it?"
James looked down at his friend and put a hand on his shoulder, "The baby didn't make it," he whispered. Sirius sobbed and utterly broke down. He grabbed a hold of James' sweater, "It's not fair James," he sobbed. The taller boy wrapped his arms around him and hugged him, "I know, I know," he said to comfort his friend, "it never is."
"We didn't even know if it was a little girl or a boy," Sirius sobbed, "it's just not fair."
When Remus woke up, James and Peter left, leaving Remus and Sirius alone to talk. Sirius' eyes were red and puffy from all the crying before, "Remus, we need to talk," he put a hand on Remus' cheek. "What is it Siri?"
Sirius sighed, "The baby didn't make it," his voice was sad and his eyes had lost their shine, "I'm so sorry love," then he wrapped his arms around him.
"Oh." was all Remus could say.
Sirius pulled away, "Oh?" he copied, "Remus, I know this is a shock, but 'oh'?"
Remus shook his head, "Sorry, I…I don't know what to say."
"Aren't you at least a little sad over it?"
The werewolf shrugged, "Well…sure, it's sad but we'll get over it."
Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Remus, you of all people should feel at least the tiniest sadness. But this, this is just…cruel!" then he stormed out of the hospital wing leaving Remus shocked.
Pomfrey had requested that Remus stayed a few day in the Hospital Wing to recover from the shock of losing the baby but Remus kept telling her he was fine and could go. But the stubborn nurse kept telling him no.
"Come on Poppy, you have to let me go," he chuckled, "I'm fine."
"No Mr. Lupin," she said sternly, "I won't let you out of here until I find it's the right time."
Remus shook his head and didn't argue with her more on it.
The next day Sirius came by.
"So you have decided to start talking to me again?" Remus said without looking up from his book, "Or did you come to tell me how utterly cruel I am?"
Sirius sighed, "I'm sorry I said those things to you Remy," he sat down on the bed, "I was angry and sad and I let them slip out by accident…Forgive me?"
Remus nodded, "Its fine, really it is."
The taller boy smiled and kissed him, "Good. How are you feeling?"
"Would you please tell Poppy that I'm fine so I can get out of here?" Remus said and smiled.
'He looks happier now then when he was pregnant,' Sirius thought bitter, 'I can't believe him, I thought he would at least care a little about this baby.'
"You know, it's a little sad that we never knew the gender," Sirius finally said, "don't you think?"
"Um…yeah," Remus muttered, "listen Sirius, love…I really don't like to be here. Can you please talk to Pomfrey and convince her to let me go?"
Sirius finally nodded, "Ok Remy," then he kissed his forehead and got up and walked over to the nurse's office.
Three days had passed and no sad feeling had come from Remus. He just went on like nothing had ever happened.
Until one day when the four friends sat in the common room with Lily. Only because James had demanded it and said he would end his life if they would sit with her and listen to her talk about how her classes were going.
"So have you started on your essay on the baby goblins?" Lily asked, sitting as far away from James as she could.
Remus' head snapped up and he stared at Lily.
"Anyway," she continued, "I just started mine. Baby goblins are just the sweetest thing. They're kind of like little fairies at first but when they grow up from a baby to a grown goblin they become…"
Remus didn't hear the rest. His head was pounding and he felt something wet slide down his cheek. He put a hand on his stomach and the tears became more.
"Remus love, are you alright?" Sirius asked worried. Remus turned his head to him crying, "I-I…our baby Sirius," he sobbed, "he's dead."
Sirius jumped to his feet and pulled Remus into a hug, "I know," he whispered.
"He…why?" he asked confused, "Why did he have to die, Sirius?"
Sirius led his devastated boyfriend to the boys dorm and shut the door.
"Why did he have to die Sirius?" Remus sobbed harder, "It's not fair."
Sirius shook his head, "I know love," he led him to his bed and lay down with him, wrapping his arms around his waist and whispering comforting words in his ear while Remus continued to cry.
They stayed like that for an hour, completely silent until Remus spoke up, "Sirius?"
"It was a baby boy," Remus said sad, "our little price…I was thinking about the name Daniel."
Sirius cried silently and tightened the grip on Remus' waist. He now knew that Remus always cared. He was the one who cared the most for the baby and he would be the one who would feel the most sadness over his death.
A/N: this story is dear and close to my heart…would you be so kind not to spam it, trash it or anything like that…if you like it then that's great and if you want to review, please give me a real review that tells me what you liked and what you didn't like