((I may live to regret this...))
Riku and Sora went back to the Islands, kicked the twins' dad's butt off the pier and had hot sweaty mansex; Cloud and Leon ended up having an emotastic time about Leon leaving but that was resolved… with you know what; Zexion and Demyx managed to throw Zexion's abusive father into the slammer on assault and stalking charges… and proceeded with lovemaking; Marluxia and Larxene got their act together and started dating again; Namine found true love in Hayner; Yuffie continued her… Yaoi Club (and sometimes wrangled unsuspecting bishounen to do her host club weekend every month at Wonderland Café); Tifa ended up meeting a very nice guy called Vincent and started an awkward relationship with him; Zack popped the question to Aerith; and generally everyone related to Shiva House gets their massive happy ending with a great big cake to go with it.
As for Axel and Roxas; Axel kept singing, Roxas went into photography. And they've been inseparable ever since university.
That's what I probably would have written back in the old days, when M.A. didn't feel like such a never-ending labour that was starting to feel like I was writing something for Naruto or Bleach or One Piece or any other still ongoing pieces of manga fiction.
Technically, I know I shouldn't be writing one huge Author's Note as a chapter entry, but I feel like it has to be put down here (I'll add a snippet of a chapter that I was planning to write, which was the chapter that made me realise just how much I was running out of ideas for M.A. to more than make up for the ridiculously long passage you're going to read).
Magnetic Attraction is dead. With the way it is now, and after writing Heart Under Siege, and while I'm writing Ever After and Arashi no Rakuen simultaneously, I sincerely doubt I can ever resuscitate this piece of fiction without wanting to kill it again later on. It's… well, I know nothing can be perfect, but looking at I just cringe at all the imperfections this thing had. Sure, I had the storylines, but I wasn't putting myself in them; tragic storylines fell flat on their face, and I realised this had the pacing of a manga serial; great if there was pictures, but my art is in words, not with images. (Besides, anyone who's seen my deviantArt account will know just how dreadful my artwork can be despite subtle improvements.)
But despite all that, I get asked every once in a while to update this thing.
And I took a look at it again during a writing dry spell and thought: You know… they wouldn't be asking for more if they didn't see something in here.
I've stated this before in an Author's Note in Arashi no Rakuen, and I've stated it in my profile, but I'm now toying with the idea of taking this down and start from scratch, right from the beginning, and allow the story to be influenced by my experiences of university, as well as listening to the stories of friends and acquaintances who are my fellow colleagues at university. Sure, Heartless Rapture will still be around; it's the glue that links everyone together in a shape or form, but I'm cutting the rape scene (it wasn't very good), I'm cutting the supernatural elements (because honestly, what was I on at the time?) and, most importantly, I'm cutting the original Riku/Sora strife. Why? Because I got it into my head that Riku and Sora were now step-brothers; you may not be related by blood, but it certainly is frowned very heavily upon by the authorities and society of my country. It was just one hurdle to big to tackle head on for someone of my skill at that time; and its not something I really want to tackle head on now (neither is incest).
Besides, the notes I have so far seem to be more fun to write about than what I thought was ok to write back when I was starting out in the KH yaoi-verse.
So what can you expect from this new M.A. that might be coming? Well, rest assured there will be four main couples again: Roxas/Axel, Sora/Riku, Cloud/Leon, Zexion/Demyx. All of them with their own dynamic, all of them with their own problems, and not all of them intertwine so tightly like they did in the original. I'm also giving them their own space; they all live in different parts of the campus, in different kinds of accommodation, and maybe at differing stages in their relationships.
Drama? Well, I can say that Zexion's abusive past will be a part of Zexion and Demyx's main story, but Axel's won't. That doesn't mean Axel's not going to be a cold, brash bastard at times, but his reason for that will have changed. I've dramatically changed Cloud's past in order to get away from the supernatural, but a certain aspect that you, the fans, loved about his and Leon's relationship will be included. From the start. Sora and Riku… well, I'm trying a different dynamic altogether. You'll see if the reboot sees the light of day.
New and improved? Yes. Perfect? No. I've come to the realisation that striving for perfection means more imperfections, and that if you write as if it's the last thing you'll ever write in the world, the story tends to flow better. If you take your time, something that affected you one day might turn up in a chapter the next.
What I'm trying to say is, if Heart Under Siege was influenced by the ignored part of history -the history that told you King Richard the First was a good king despite bringing England to its knees financially because of expensive Holy Wars in the Holy Lands, but King John was greedy and evil because he taxed people for what they were worth and yet he managed to stabilise an otherwise doddering economy because of his penny-pinching (and he wasn't as bad as Henry the Seventh I can assure you; and at least he liked his hygiene (sorry; tangent)). The history that forgot all the young women (and men in some countries) that were taken as war prizes by their conquerors; the history where whole countries were prepared to shed blood for glory because of old legends influenced their upbringing (especially true for some kings)-, if Arashi no Rakuen is influenced by the old myths and legends of the Orient (predominantly Japanese) and reports of phoney sacrifices to river gods (which actually came from China if I remember my research correctly), if Ever After is influenced by anything that has any remote idea what a possible future may hold (dystopian and utopian societies alike), then I want the main influence of Magnetic Attraction to be from reality. My reality of university, shared by so many hundreds and thousands of other young people like myself who are also in university.
I sound a bit like Cloud going on about his own reality in games, but I'm trying to make it clear just where my influence is coming from. I've gotten to a point where in order to avoid further issues later on I need to state clearly what's what (especially true in historically influenced plots; modern (well "Information Age" if you want to be technical (I think that's the Age we live in currently unless we've changed since the start of the new Millennium)) views can really hamper the understanding and enjoyment of a story that is using view points that are hundreds of years old to make said narrative come to life).
Anyway, bottom line is; Magnetic Attraction might get a reboot. I'm writing the notes down for it, but I want to finish either Ever After or Arashi no Rakuen first, or get to a point where I feel like I can probably start a new project without it affecting the progress of the other two later.
Who knows, maybe I'll finish the first chapter sooner than you think. After all, Ever After is over the midway point of how long I'm aiming it to be. I'm going to need a new project. I just don't think I want to do a historical one though since Arashi no Rakuen is quite nicely filling that gap.
Well… here's hoping that it does come up. For you guys. If Magnetic Attraction gets taken down: get excited. That means I'm probably going ahead with it.
Thank you one and all for your love and support. I'm really sorry that M.A. ended on such a bad cliffhanger, but I promise that if even you don't get the reboot, up there really would have been what the next 50 chapters at the very most might have been like they way I was going. You're not going to miss much.
So now, I shall give you what I was working on before I just gave up on it. It's just a small sneak preview of how much I was struggling.
To say that Axel was angry and slightly frustrated was putting it mildly.
To say that Axel was flaming furious and had the urge to throttle that silver-haired chicken of a guitarist for not saying anything to his lover's twin yet openly admitting it to him, the leading man of his band and former room mate was being a bit more…accurate to say the least.
But to say that Axel had turned into a fire-breathing silver-haired-man-eating monster that was literally going to set something on fire if it annoyed him was the simplest, and most concise way of putting it.
Overall, Roxas was just sitting there looking at him, unsure of what to do, while Axel smoked away at the window, keeping his 'filthy habit' away from his blond lover.
"Axel…" Roxas started tentatively.
Axel merely grunted in reply.
"Sora's bound to know what's going on now. So stop being so angry."
"Shut up…" he growled. Roxas expected that. Axel had become so much more irritable recently. He decided it had something to do with the band and now the added stress of Riku going away with Sora in a few weeks time.
"Please don't be so angry," Roxas said calmly, his voice firm and level.
"When you have a silver-haired idiot and the fact that your old man wants to speak to you after years of disowning you, then you can tell me what I can and can't do," Axel snapped, turning his glowing green glare at Roxas. The shorter blond visibly flinched but persisted.
"I know you're frustrated but being angry won't help matters."
Axel once again snarled in response, almost as if he were some cornered beast that was going to attack at any moment. Roxas chose his next words carefully.
"Riku was…concerned. He didn't want Sora to get hurt. You can understand that…right? If you were in his position, would you try to protect me?"
Axel's eyes widened at that, as if realising something. He walked over to Roxas, silent and intimidating. For a moment, Roxas was truly terrified something bad would happen.
That changed when Axel fell to his knees in front of him, grabbed him by the waist, and pulled him close, his head of fiery locks pressed into Roxas' stomach. The blond blushed brightly, but wondering where the sudden change of attitude had come from.
"I'm no better than Riku," Axel muttered. "Cheh. I'm just a big hypocrite." He laughed. "Ariel would kick my ass."
"My dad…he's…he's called again."
"You really ought to talk to him."
"I don't want to."
"Because I hate him."
"Axel…" Roxas was surprised at the answer. Sure, Roxas had felt betrayed by his own father when he ran away and left his family, but he didn't hate him. He could never come to hate the very man that gave him life, who had carried him on his back and played with him as a child. How could he hate such a man?
"I hate him. He never really cared for me. And he disowned me when he found out I killed Xaldin. Not even Ariel and Reno could save me from his anger." He then smiled maniacally. "So I gave him a reason to dislike me even more." He pointed to his tattoos. "I even became something he hated: a singer. A profession that apparently has no future at all. And I enjoyed pissing him off."
Roxas shook his head. This said something else to him. If his understanding in psychology didn't fail him, this seemed to be more of a way a needy child would try to get its parents' attention. "I think you want his attention more than anything, even if it's disappointment."
Axel drew away from him, giving him a hard look. Roxas kept a straight face, but the look hurt him. "Oh, so you think you know me, huh?"
"I didn't say that Axel."
"Do you think you know me? Do you think you know who I am or how my mind works? Do you think you're some know-it-all when it comes to me? Because you're not! You're not! You know nothing about-!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AXEL!" Roxas screeched, having lost his patience already, making Axel take steps away from him in shock. The blond was shuddering, having stunned even himself at his outburst. "I'm just stating how I see it," he continued quietly. "I'm not being a know-it-all. I'm not trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't feel." He closed his eyes. "Because in the end…there is still so much I don't know about you. I want to learn more about you so that I don't have to make the assumptions you don't like." He opened his eyes again. "You understand that, right?"
Axel was wordless, a look of guilt passing through his eyes. He came back to Roxas, holding him tightly. "Sorry," he whispered. Roxas knew that it had always been hard for Axel to apologise, or admit he was wrong, so this came as a surprise for him. "I shouldn't snap at you. I was wrong."
Now the blond was a bit freaked out. Axel was really going through a massive mood swing. What was going on?
"Sorry…for hurting you…"
Nothing more was said. The singer just held him, not doing much more than that, for the rest of the night.
The next few days, Axel had disappeared without any warning, sending Roxas into a panic.
The first day, he woke up alone in the bed, no note or anything to tell him where his older lover was. At first, Roxas just dismissed it as Axel going to the Music Department early to sort out band issues. That was until Demyx and the others said that they hadn't seen him at all. So the blond artist thought Axel was brooding but needed to do it alone, but the redhead didn't come home.
The second day, Roxas tried to reach Axel's phone, only to get the answering machine every time he tried to contact him. He sent text messages that were never returned. He even threatened that there would be no physical contact unless Axel returned his calls on his answering machine. Axel didn't call back or come home that night either.
The third day Roxas was becoming worried sick, hardly smiling and looking like he was on the verge of tears. He couldn't even concentrate in his art lesson, always doodling pictures of Axel and feeling so, so, so lost. In the end, he missed all three meals because he was so distressed at not knowing where Axel was. For all he knew, he could be hurt! In trouble! Dead! At that last thought, he finally broke down into tears, locking the door of his room and refusing to speak to anyone. He even yelled at Leon through the safety of the locked door, uncaring. This had shocked the senior for Roxas would never have dared yell at him. He left him alone, warning everyone not to aggravate the distressed freshman.
The fourth day, Roxas didn't come out of his room. All the housemates could hear was crying and sobbing with a few intervals where they guessed Roxas had exhausted himself. Every one pitched in trying to find Axel, all of them getting the same results. Sora even became distressed that his own twin was acting like this, vowing that he was going to give the redhead sophomore a piece of his mind. Yuffie tried to climb into the room via a nearby tree, only for Roxas to somehow know ahead of time what Yuffie was planning and slamming the window shut just as she was about to reach the window. He even closed the curtains. No one could get through to him.
The fifth day, Aerith tried to coax him out of his room with all his favourite foods, specially prepared for him. The door stayed locked. Leon came to talk to him. He was greeted with silence. Sora banged and called for his brother, assuring him that Axel would be fine and that he was probably just having a moment. Nothing stirred in the room. Demyx played on his sitar, claiming that music soothed the savage beast. It did nothing. Riku came to his door, telling Roxas that it happened from time to time so he needn't worry, Axel would be back. Roxas didn't even let out a peep. Yuffie came by and vowed to break every bone in Axel's body for "breaking the heart of his adorable uke". Not a sound. Tifa threatened to break the door down, and she was soon (reluctantly) joined by Cloud. Roxas was resolute, and the door refused to be broken. Zexion tried to reason with the blond. He assumed the freshman wasn't even listening. Marluxia tried to sweet talk Roxas out but Larxene started shouting at him for being a flirt and scum when a boy was clearly in love with his significant other. Not a single word from the room.
Finally, Naminé very shyly slipped a drawing she had done the whole day. It was one of Axel and Roxas during happier times. The two were looking at the beautiful view in Hollow Bastion Park, holding hands and kissing softly.
A soft sob echoed from the room. Naminé smiled. "He will come back to you Roxas. He loves you."
"No he doesn't. He's never told me that!"
"Roxas…he does…he may not express it in words…but its there. Just be patient."
Nothing more was said that day.
The sixth day, Roxas didn't come out of his room again, curled up in Axel's duvet. His eyes were bloodshot from crying, his face stained with dry tears, his hair flopping a bit, his skin pale and so weak. He hadn't eaten in two days now. And it was soon turning into three. Everyone had come by to talk to him but they never really got answers from him.
It was early evening, and Roxas was so sure that Axel had left him. No one left for six days without telling someone. According to Leon, not even Reno or Ariel knew where he had gone.
"Hey, are you going to let me in or not?" an annoyed voice muttered on the other side of the door. Roxas bolted up, swearing that he was just hearing things but at the same time overjoyed…and then he remembered that Axel hadn't even told him where he had gone. He collapsed onto the bed, not willing to give Axel the courtesy of a welcome.
"Hey, what's with the cold shoulder?" Axel asked from the other side of the door, sounding genuinely confused as to what he had done. Roxas refused to answer. "Look, I had to do something. I didn't want you to get involved."
"You could have told me where you were going!"
"And risk you coming to find me if I didn't come back for a prolonged period of time. No chance."
"I was worried! I was scared to death that something had happened to you and I wouldn't have known! You could've been hurt for all I know!"
"You that worried about me?"
"Yes!" Roxas yelled at him. "You're such a jerk! I don't want to see you!"
"Yeah, I'll believe that when pigs can fly."
"No. Let me in."
"No! Go away!"
"This is going to become a bit like a child's argument, you know that right?"
"I don't care! Go away!"
"Stop being such a brat."
Roxas flung his head into his pillow, not wanting to hear any more from Axel. "I hate you…I really hate you…" he whimpered into his pillow.
It was about half an hour later that he heard something come in through the open window. "Jesus H Christ, how does Yuffie manage that?" an irritated voice grumbled, a hand brushing the body it belonged to off. Roxas only curled up tighter. Axel came walking up to the bundle of duvet, sitting on the bed and putting a hand on it. "I got your messages." Not a sound from Roxas. "I was going to respond to them. I just…had a very long and detailed talk with my dad. That's all. I was going to come back." No response. "You do know I had to travel all the way to Traverse Town, right? You know how long that takes by car?" Still nothing. "Jeezus Roxas, enough with the cold shoulder. I'm sorry alright!"
[Ends Here. I lost patience]
Morning came, streaking through the window and waking up the little blond child with its gentle dawn light. The child's sapphire eyes opened slowly, welcoming the new day with a giggle and a smile.
My name's Cirrus. I'm a year old now and I have two daddies. Papa has yellow hair and looks mostly like me. Daddy had brown hair and grey eyes and this big cat scratch on his face. They're asleep right now.
Cirrus looked through the bars of his crib, seeing his parents sleeping soundly. Papa was curled up next to Daddy, breathing softly. Daddy let out a few snores from time to time but other than that, he was silent. Cirrus giggled.
Daddy snores a lot and keeps Papa up usually. I don't mind it. I think its funny hearing Daddy snore.
Oh…time to wake them up now. I'm hungry.
With all the calculated prowess of a tenor singing the hardest piece of music known in the world, holding the longest note without even taking a breath, Cirrus gave a loud cry that could match it…if it was a little more harmonious.
"Your son's up," Papa murmured sleepily.
"From sunset to sunrise, he's your son," Daddy replied, yawning afterwards.
Cirrus rattled the bars, making a ruckus. Almost reluctantly, Papa clambered out of bed, stretching a little before stumbling over to Cirrus, picking the small baby up. "Hey kiddo, do you want breakfast?"
Cirrus calmed down, beaming brightly his answer.
Gets them every time.
It was at that point Daddy's tele-fun went off. Papa looked at the offending thing, eyes narrowed. Daddy grunted, reaching for it and answering it with a sleepy, "Yeah?" He bolted upright, screwing his eyes shut. "Ellone…migraine…making it worse…" His eyes widened all of a sudden. "Excuse me? Since when have we become baby-sitters? No. Don't use that excuse…I mean it Ellone, quit it…No…No…I'm not having that spawn of hell…Well he is! Eh? You wouldn't dare…Fine, have it your way. Yeah, bye." He hung up, frowning.
"What is it?" Papa asked.
"We're looking after that monster of Ellone's…"
Cirrus couldn't help but smile.
Gale's my bestest best friend in the whole wide world. He plays with me even though he's months older than me. We're also cousins. He gets annoyed with his Mommy though and he doesn't even know who his Daddy is. But he doesn't care. He's so cool about it.
"Well, you're on your own with this," Papa told Daddy, a worried look on his face. "I've got rehearsals today for my exam piece."
Daddy blinked. "But I have to do more maintenance with my group today."
"Viruses are going to be let loose into one of the servers; we have the whole day to fix the problem."
They looked at each other before both proclaiming at the same time, "But I thought you would be here for the whole day!"
"Well what are we going to do about this? Ellone won't be able to find anyone to take care of Gale at this rate."
"We could leave them with one of the others," Papa suggested.
"The only person I would feel safe leaving Gale and Cirrus with is Aerith…and guess who's whisked her away."
Papa's eyes narrowed. "I honestly could strangle Zack sometimes…"
"I am not leaving my child with Yuffie," Papa stated firmly, his hold on Cirrus tightening. "Who knows what she'll do to him."
Daddy started counting off his fingers, dropping a finger when a candidate didn't meet to either of their expectations. "I would be OK leaving them with Zexion and Demyx but they're out with Axel and Riku. Axel would probably dump them somewhere if they annoyed him. Riku's got enough on his mind with all these texts he has to memorise and the band. Sora will be with you no doubt today. Naminé…well, she's linked to Yuffie so although it pains me to say it, we can't leave them with her. Marluxia and Larxene are still trying to tear each other's heads off…" Papa tightened further his grip on Cirrus at that. "Which leaves Tifa or Roxas."
"Tifa I'm OK with. Roxas…do you think he could handle it?"
"Let's give him a chance," Daddy nodded his head. "He might surprise us."
We went down to the kish-en once Papa and Daddy got dressed. Everyone but Aunt Aerif were there having brecfas. Aunt Lar'ene and Unkie Marl'ia were having a staring contest again. It's funny seeing them like that.
Daddy narrowed his eyes at them. "Oi, you two. Quit it." Larxene and Marluxia looked away from each other, grumbling profanities lowly. Papa gave them a hellish glare, silencing them immediately.
"Man, busy busy busy," Demyx announced all of a sudden, rushing to write things down. Zexion was giving him a smug look.
"This is what happens when you leave things at the last minute."
"Hush you! I don't work on holidays like some people!"
"Oh that's a very nice way to talk to your lover," Zexion rolled his eyes, his voice sarcastic. "Maybe I should cut back on-" He was silenced quickly by a quick kiss. Demyx grinned.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm just stressed. No need to go to extremes."
"You're stressed?" Riku glanced up from one of the many texts he had to memorise. "I have at least three to completely memorise for the exams." His eyes looked dull and lifeless from lack of sleep. Sora leant against him.
"You shouldn't worry so much."
"Says you," Riku yawned.
Aerith was, as Daddy had said, already out with Zack. Axel had yet to make an appearance ("Probably out back smoking," Yuffie answered when his whereabouts were questioned), while Roxas was prodding at his food. Yuffie meanwhile was trying to get something out of Naminé, who was refusing to answer her. Tifa was sipping at her coffee, doing some work for her course at the same time.
"Tifa," Papa drawled.
"Yes Cloud," Tifa sighed.
"Do you mind taking care of Cirrus for today?"
"Sure, I don't mind."
"Great. Oh, and by the way, Leon's nephew is coming over as well."
"Eh? I didn't agree to taking care of two kids!"
"Too late," Papa smirked. Tifa growled.
Daddy leaned over Roxas. "Hey, do you mind helping out Tifa? Two heads are better than one and all that."
Roxas looked up. "Well, I've got nothing else to do, so OK. I'll help."
Daddy gave him one of his rare smiles, ruffling Roxas' hair. "You're a good kid."
Later on, Ellone Leonhart was being driven up by her personal chauffeur, Gale strolling in front of her with his walking-braces. Cirrus looked out of the window with Tifa, reaching out towards his friend. Gale looked up, as if sensing Cirrus' presence, giving a disinterested wave to him.
"Better go get your friend then," Tifa murmured. Cirrus only cooed in agreement.
[Ends Here. Got bored of this. Was meant to be the original chapter 51 but was chopped]
And that's all I can give you guys now. Thanks again and sorry for making you all wonder what would happen to M.A. I hope you'll continue reading my work even though this M.A. is now long gone.