Disclaimer: Wait, here's another vote coming in . . . nope, I still don't own it. Everything belongs to Jo - always has, always will. Yes, even Remus. . . .
Chapter 1: Harry's Will
To The Order of the Phoenix,
Whoever is reading this may be wondering where I have gone. Why, I have gone nowhere, my friends. I will always be with you on the Quidditch Pitch and in Hogwarts castle (although not in the dungeons with Snape, I shall never go there again). I am sorry for riddles like this, Dumbledore, you probably know what I'm talking about and I'll appreciate if you'll do this one thing for me, as you've done so little for me over my nearly sixteen years. Just tell everyone else the prophecy and what I have done for I have gone to find Voldemort. He'll probably kill me before I kill him, being the idiot adolescent hero I am, but at this point I don't care. For to the well-organized mind, death is nothing but the next great adventure isn't it, Dumbledore? You hypocrite. Of course you'd say that about your old mate, Nicolas Flamel, but not when your precious weapon is going to put himself in harm's way. Oh, no, you'd rather lock your precious weapon up and not let him breathe some fresh air until it's time for him to come out and defeat the enemy, then, if he's not broken, you'll just lock him away again until he's needed. Dying would be better than that life, Dumbledore and that's what you've given me. You locked me up for ten years with those bastards, the Dursleys, without giving a shit what my life would be like. And don't give me that crap about my mum's blood protecting me. Don't tell me that the great Albus Dumbledore couldn't have set up wards somewhere else. Anyway, I've gone off to die, as that's my fate anyway, so here's my will.
To the Order of the Phoenix: I'm guessing-and I may be wrong-that Sirius gave me #12 Grimmauld Place and all its contents in his will. Well, I know this is pretty ironic, but my will contradicts that. You guys can use Grimmauld Place for all the space you need to make battle plans against the Death Eaters and of course Voldemort (if I don't finish him off first before I die). Just do me a favor, kill Bellatrix Lestrange and of course send Kreacher all the love he ever gave me.
To the Weasleys: I give all the gold in my Gringotts vault. You guys can use it to get out of the economic problems you've been in all your life. You have treated me like your own these past few years and I'm sorry that I have to end it like this. And though you have a large heart you don't have a very large moneybag, so here you are, hoping it will help.
To Ron Weasley: Ron, you've been like a brother to me over my five years at Hogwarts. We've had some really good times together and some bad times now that I stop and think about it. Ron, mate, I want you to have my Firebolt. It's under the loose floorboard in my bedroom and if the Dursleys give you any trouble about coming in, say I'll come back as a ghost and curse them into oblivion. But, Ron, don't let your fear rule you on the Quidditch Pitch. You have a great broom now and you have real skill. Don't think about what other people say, especially the Slytherins, just play your best and no one will think the worse of you. Remember, I'll be there, too. Ron, we've always made a lot of trouble together, it reminds me a lot of my dad and Sirius, from what I saw in the Pensieve (Professor Lupin will explain), so I give you my two main mischief-making items, my Invisibility Cloak and the Marauders Map in hopes that you and Hermione (and perhaps Ginny, Neville, or Luna), will come up with even better pranks than the Marauders or me and you did.
To Hermione Granger: Hermione, as Ron's been like a brother, you've been like a sister, and you two are like siblings, as you quarrel all the time. I know it might not be worth much, but you can have the copies of my schoolbooks and Hedwig. I know you've always wanted a pet, and I know you have Crookshanks, but . . . hey, Hedwig needs a home too. I know the schoolbooks might not be that great, I've scribbled a bit in the margins, I think Ron and I played Hangman in One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, I'm not sure though. Anyway, they're there if you want them and I may have put in a few personal comments there too, including what I think about a particular, greasy-haired git of a Potions master, Snape. Of course, Dumbledore always wanted me to call him Professor Snape, but if someone's reading this aloud, you'll know what I think of him too. And on that note of Snape, Hermione, don't let him tell you you're a Know-It-All, you're one of the smartest people I know and if you know the answer, raise your hand, goddamn it, and if he calls you a Know-It-All again, swear at him and say it's from me, alright?
To Ginny Weasley: Ginny, you and your whole family have always welcomed me into your home ever since your mum helped me get through to Platform 9 3/4. I haven't really gotten to know you that well over the years and I wished I could've gotten to better. But here are the things I do know, you were very taken with me in your first and second years (and maybe your third, I'm not sure)-please don't deny it, that would be an insult to my memory. Ginny, you've grown into a fine young woman and I hope that you and Dean are able to get married someday. Or, if he's not the right guy for you, dump him and find someone else. There'll always be a queue of guys lined up to go with you, believe me, because, I'm blushing as I write this, I really like you and even though you're like a sister to me, I think you're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever met in my life. Much better than Cho anyway, at least you don't cry 24/7. Ginny, I love you and when I die I'll be thinking of you. I'm sorry that we couldn't spend more time together and maybe the rest of our lives together but it's my fate to kill or be killed, again, the prophecy and I couldn't live with that and put more lives in danger as I am bound to do if I stay alive any longer.
To Fred and George Weasley: I hope my donation was put to good use for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and that many students are happily using pranks on Filch and Snape. Like I said before, the wizarding world will need laughs in the time ahead, what with the Death Eaters and Voldemort, if I don't defeat him and you guys will always be there to provide them. Oh, and by the way, I bought a few things at Zonko's a while back-third year, I think and they're under the loose floorboard in my bedroom. I hide all my stuff there so the Dursleys won't find it. Anyway, you guys can have it and use it on people (my personal choice would be the Toad Lady) or just sell it. Your choice. Oh, and there's also a Whoopy Cushion in there, it's a Muggle prank that I stole from my cousin. Just put that under Dudley's fat ass one time, will you?
To Neville Longbottom: Neville, one of the first things that I have to say to you is that you are not nothing! Don't let anyone tell you that, especially Snape and the other Slytherins. You excel in Herbology and who really gives a shit about Potions anyway if that isn't what you want to do in life? You have real skill to be a talented Auror, Neville, just like your dad, you were really brave in the Department of Mysteries with the Cruciatus Curse that Bellatrix used on you. I was ready to give in to save you-and this is Harry Potter talking-but you didn't give up. I already know you can handle boggarts well, from what Professor Lupin showed us in third year (remember Snape in that hat!) and you can grow up to be really talented, no matter what anyone says about you. I was with the Dursleys for ten years and they always treated me like crap and you and me are kind of alike, especially with the prophecy (ask Dumbledore), with both our parents not being with us (except I consider myself much luckier to have mine dead) and growing up with other family members but at least you grew up with your Gran who's magical. But look at what happened to me, I thought I was nothing for ten years and now I'm magical and destined to defeat Voldemort. I hope something like that never happens to you but that you grow up talented nonetheless.
To Luna Lovegood: Luna, you believed in me when hardly anyone else did, you saw the thestrals with me when no one else did, and you went into the Department of Mysteries with me and helped defeat those Death Eaters which I don't think any 'normal' people can testify to. I hope that the Quibbler's going strong and that you are able to find a Crumple-Horned Snorcack on the safari with your dad and I hope I didn't interrupt it with this will which you may find thoroughly pointless. If you do, you're welcome to leave. I'll tell your mum that you said hi, alright? And who knows, maybe it will be a Blibbering Humdinger or a Crumple-Horned Snorcack that guides me down the tunnel.
To Rubeus Hagrid: Hagrid, you were the first magical person I met that I could remember. It was you who gave me the hope that I wasn't 'just Harry', but a wizard, someone who could accomplish something. Well, I'm off accomplishing it and I'll make the magical world a better place if I accomplish it. If not, well . . . there'll be another Boy-Who-Lived (or Girl-Who-Lived), and Dumbledore can just shut up about me being the one who has to fulfill the prophecy and all. Hagrid, if you get mad at me for this, then please don't hurt my body too much at the funeral (if you choose to have one, and if you find my body, I don't know where I'll fight Voldemort). I know that Dumbledore's a great man to you, but you didn't have a fate like mine. And Hagrid, if, as I've mentioned before, Sirius gives me the entire contents of #12 Grimmauld Place, you're welcome to Buckbeak. I know he misses Sirius and he'd be really happy to see you.
To Remus Lupin: Professor Lupin, well, I expect you'd want me to call you Remus or Moony since you haven't been my teacher for two years now. But old habits are hard to break so I'll just call you Professor. Anyway, I'm guessing that Sirius gave me all the money in his Gringotts vault too, so, you're entitled to that if you'd like it. Well, no, I don't care if you'd like it or not. Believe it or not, and no matter how humble you are, Professor, believe me on this, you need that gold! I'm not sure how much money is in that vault, but I'm guessing it's a substantial amount because of Sirius having the 'most noble and ancient house of Black.' If you're not sure what to spend it on, take my advice and buy yourself some new robes. There's no denying you need them. And if you feel guilty spending it, think that it's what I would've wanted and if my ghost finds out you haven't spent it, I won't be too pleased, because I care about you Remus, whoa, guess I did break my old habit! You're one of the closest things to a father I ever had, especially in third year, you and Sirius were great to me. I mean, I know the Weasleys are awesome-no offense to you guys-but you and Sirius knew mum and dad and even Peter, I'm sorry to say and helped me find out more about my family, so thanks. Oh, and Remus, take some advice from an old friend, well young, but . . . never mind, just take some advice from Harry Potter, forget that you're a werewolf. All you do is change your form every full moon. You're still the mild-mannered professor, Remus Lupin at heart and your shape will never change that. Bearing that in mind, I think the students would really like it if you came back to teach at Hogwarts. I know I would but as I'm going to die, I know Ron and Hermione would and all the students who remember you, plus think of all the students that are coming along the line, waiting to learn how to defend themselves against boggarts and hinkypunks and the like. By the way, I'll tell mum, dad, and Sirius you said hi.
To Nymphadora Tonks: Tonks, I hope you'll forgive me for putting your first name in this but I want to make it seem official. Anyway, Tonks, I always thought it was cool how you were a Metamorphmagus. Therefore, I bought a book on the subject, I'm not giving that to you, but I thought you might want to know that your talent inspired me to read-something I don't do that often. I am giving that book to Hermione as I never succeeded on becoming one despite my hard tries. However, Tonks, I will give you the small model of a Firebolt that you gave me last Christmas. I know it isn't much but . . . I wasn't sure what else to give. Oh, and I thought I ought to tell you that I become an Animagus over the few weeks of summer that I enjoyed. I bought a book on that too, which I am now giving to Hermione. I decided to tell you because your talent relates to it, changing your appearance at will, except mine's changing into an animal. I had planned to do it to keep Remus company, as I had been planning it beforehand, but now because of the prophecy my plans for the little part of my life left have changed. Just to let you know, I change into a black horse with green eyes and a lightning-bolt scar on his forehead. So, if you ever see a horse around, just think of me because I'll be watching over all of my friends after I die with mum and dad and Sirius.
To Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody: Moody, I know I didn't get to know you that well. The Moody I thought I knew was actually Barty Crouch Jr., and you, the real Moody were locked in a trunk for nine months. I guess that taught you even more constant vigilance. However, in the year or so that I've know the real Moody, as a member of the Order, I've gone to appreciate how important it is, and how important each member of it is to all the gears. Mr. Weasley, I'm using a car analogy here. Moody, you're a really important member of the Order, especially with that swiveling eye of yours which can catch trouble-makers and Death Eaters but they're kind of the same thing, aren't they?, even though it is a bit creepy. Thanks for threatening the Dursleys for me too, that eye really scared them so they left me alone for the few weeks that I remained alive to write this and prepare to leave. I know that you might find this weird, Moody, but it was your imposter who was a Death Eater that inspired in me to be an Auror, so you can give yourself a pat on the back for getting me to pursue that career even though it is a hard path. But not all good paths are the easy ones, a lot of the time, the easy paths are the ones that lead to destruction like if I choose to ignore the prophecy I will be killed before I even get a chance to strike at Voldemort and the wizarding world will be doomed. That's one of the few things that Dumbledore taught me, to choose the right path instead of the easy one.
To Severus Snape: Snape, you may have been wondering why I put you in my will. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure myself, but I feel obligated to-there, does that convince you I'm not like my dad? Because, Snape, I'm not, I've never wanted attention but you've always thought I have. I forgive you though, guess since I'm near death I'm becoming delirious. But . . . I think I can, hmm . . . this is hard, I like you somewhat. There, I've said it, I'm surprised I didn't have heart attack while writing this or you would've found me dead in my desk chair at #4 Privet Drive instead of dead on a deserted moor or a rocky cliff face where I'm bound to have the battle with Voldemort. He was always over-dramatic. Anyway, I have a cauldron and potions ingredients under the loose floorboard in my bedroom. You can keep them or give them to students who don't have their Potions stuff with them. Oh, and plus I have something I stole from my uncle which you might find enjoyable. I give you shampoo. Have you ever heard of it? With the way your hair looks every day, I'd guess not. Maybe if you use it, your hair will look less greasy and you won't look as menacing, so students in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff can grow to . . . like you somewhat.
To Minerva McGonagall: Professor McGonagall, I know you were always really stern when you were talking to me, Ron, and Hermione during our various escapades, but you really liked us didn't you? Yes, Professor, I know. You probably talked about us with pride to Professor Snape, Professor Flitwick, and Professor Sprout, how we were your Gryffindors and how great we were. However, just in case I am wrong as I have been many times, I sincerely apologize if I have offended you. I'm not sure if a dead man's apology-which is what I am destined to be-is worth very much, but there you are anyway. Oh, shit, I just realized now, I should've told you I was an Animagus but I was just writing down things as they came to mind, so now you know, I'm a horse Animagus, just like you're a cat. No, I didn't register, but hey, I'm dead, so is there really a point in putting a dead person in Azkaban? Anyway, thanks for believing in me all these years, Professor. Even though you're stern, I love you as a Head of House, and you're the one who put me on the Gryffindor Quidditch team as Seeker instead of expelling me and just gave Ron and I detention with the Ford Anglia incident in second year. Yes, Professor, you have been merciful toward the head Marauder's son and I thank you for that. And, Professor, I'm really sorry that I'm dead because that's kind of shorting you out on what you promised Umbridge in that fight you had (and you told me to keep my temper!), that you would help me become an Auror if it was the last thing you did. Well, I guess I kind of am because Voldemort's one of the biggest Dark wizards of this time and I'm killing him, aren't I? That is, if I do. I guess I don't really have anything to give you except my sincere thanks and hopes that I got an E on my O.W.L.
And finally to Albus Dumbledore: I hate you, Dumbledore. I've already told you what I think of you at the beginning of this letter, but not thoroughly. So, I'll tell you thoroughly now. And if your heart breaks into a million pieces and you shatter and faint and die from the pain inside, then I don't care. I hate you too much to care. You're an old fool who cares more about his fucking, all important plan than the life of a young man, that young man being me. Like I said before, you stuck me with those bastards, the Dursleys without giving a shit what my life would be like for the next ten years. You knew that they were horrible Muggles, you knew they would treat me like crap, but you put me there anyway! You're not any better than the Dursleys, Dumbledore, you're a bastard and right now, I hate you more than Snape, I hate you more than Umbridge, and I'm not sure if I hate you more than Voldemort, it's a close call. As you read this or hear this you may be thinking that Harry James Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, your golden Gryffindor boy who's always saved the wizarding world in the past can't mean what he's saying, or, in this case, writing. Oh, but I do, old man, I mean every word that I've said, from what I've said about my friends to what I'm saying about you, you bunch of shit. I give you nothing, I give you no thanks, as you have done nothing for me to thank you about, I give you none of my possessions as you do not deserve even a speck of dust off the hem of my robes. In fact, you are worth less than that speck of dust, Dumbledore, and I hate you. I hate you, can I stress that enough to you, Dumbledore? I HATE YOU! And if your insides are burning right now because you're burning up from the sadness inside or if you feel shattered from what I have just said, or even if you feel angry at me and your insides are boiling with rage, I don't care! I DON'T CARE! Because, that, Dumbledore, is a little of what I felt with the Dursleys and a little of what I felt last year when you wouldn't so much as look at me, and then when you did, it was just to tell me that I have to either kill or be killed in the end! Do you even care what I felt like? Do you enjoy seeing me suffer? Well, do you? The only logical answer I can think of is yes, you do, because this is exactly what someone who enjoyed seeing me suffer would put me through. They would take away everything I ever loved and then tell me the prophecy as you did. And, Dumbledore, that's what a Death Eater would do. Dumbledore, this is not about something trivial such as not being chosen as prefect or not winning the House Cup-I don't even care about those anymore-this is about something much larger than that. You lied to me for my sixteen years, Dumbledore. For ten years, my life was lies with the Dursleys, and then, when I finally thought everything I saw in the magical world was real, you go and turn it upside-down! If I was in front of you right now, I would probably be able to use an Unforgivable with it's full effects, I hate you that much. I suppose someone told you about my failed Cruciatus in the Ministry of Magic, and I suppose you thought your Harry would never try something like that. Oh, but I did, Professor, but that was just righteous anger, I want to cause you pain, now! And if I was there I would use the Cruciatus on you and keep it on you until you were crying at my feet. And then, oh, then Dumbledore, I would kill you, and I would be merciful, using Avada Kedavra, instead of torturing you to death with the Cruciatus, as you justly deserve. You think Tom hates you, Dumbledore? Well, I hate you ten times more than that. So, I am leaving to go and kill Voldemort now and help make the magical world a better place, but not for you. I wouldn't give a shit if Voldemort or another Death Eater killed you, although I would like it to be Voldemort. No, I want to make it a better place for the people I care about, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Remus, and all the others mentioned in the will and out of it even. Even for people like Snape and Umbridge I want to make the world a better place, but not for you. So, bye, and do me one favor and stay away from my funeral. However, if this makes you feel any better, Dumbledore, I will leave you with these last two parting words: FUCK YOU!
Harry James Potter
Note: Whoa, that was angsty! I really do have no idea where this fic came from, I just sat down at my computer and started typing. If you like it, thank you, if you don't, I don't blame you.
Note: No, this is not a one-shot, however, there is only going to be one other chapter after this one, from Harry's POV, about his actual death - what happened, how he defeated Voldemort, all that good stuff.