Rated: K+

Summary: the park holds a lot of surprises for Hyoutei, seriously, from endless which is worse questions to attacking squirrels. Well, maybe not so dramatic, but hey 14 year old boys can dream.

Pairings: Atoji, implied…

Category: humour

Characters: Hyoutei, some Rikkaidai and whoever I feel like

Disclaimer: PoT and it's characters all belong to Konomi Takeshi

Oh and BTW, since Oshitari speaks Kansai dialect, I wanna make it more… like Kansai dialect, for example: Yourself means you. It's weird I know… I just feel like doing this. (I'm bored)

"Remind ore-sama again why we're in this church?" The Hyoutei team was standing in the middle of an elaborate church. It was an old church with a dark atmosphere. Some shafts of golden sunlight was shining through the tinted windows, filtering the light into many different shades. There were sixteen windows in all, lining up around the church. Each window depicting a saint or martyr. The benches were old, of a rich red colour, and the table that lay in the front of the church was ornate and Victorian. (Sry, I'm in the mood for describing stuff.)

"No clue." Oshitari shrugged, gazing up at the statue of Virgin Mary.

"Wait, isn't that the Fudomine tennis uniform?" Mukahi asked.

"Who's Fudomine?" Jirou asked.

"It's another school in Tokyo," Hiyoshi answered.

"Who cares?" Shishido shrugged.

A distant muttering could be heard from the other side of the silent church, "I really don't want to be here but there wasn't any choice, not with all those girls chasing me anyways. Now I see Hyoutei regulars in this church and I wonder what they're doing here? Probably to laugh at us because we're stuck here and there's no where to go but it doesn't matter anyways because they always underestimate people…"

"Shinji…" A red headed Fudomine tennis player sweatdropped as he looked at his friend.

"And now Kamio-kun's embarrassed to be here because of me, this sucks, I wonder what I did. It's not like I'm not embarrassed to be with him with his red hair attracting attention and everything but he is really cute and I don't want to say it to his face…"

"…" Kamio rolled his eyes.

"What's that guy muttering about?" Mukahi asked.

"Why don't you go ask him?" Atobe said.

"There's a lot of cool statues here!" Jirou screamed. "What's that one called?"

"Shh Jirou-senpai, this is a church." Ohtori shushed his senpai then explained, "That's the archangel Gabriel."

"What's an archangel?"

"It's like a primary angel that…" Ohtori trailed off and was distracted by the sight of Mukahi jumping off the statue of archangel Michael.

"Gakuto, don't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because this is a church, a holy place of worship, and not a playground." Oshitari calmly stated.

"Idiot." Shishido snorted.

Mukahi reddened, "Shut up!"

"Please don't raise your voice." Ohtori quickly whispered.

"I wonder what they're doing, they seem like idiots or monkeys. I didn't expect Hyoutei to be so immature because Tachibana-san always said that Hyoutei regulars were good, I guess he overestimated them but still it's not like Tachibana to be mistaken…"

"Hey! Who're you calling idiots and monkeys!?!?!"

Just like that, the door to the church slammed open to admit the devil himself: Kirihara Akaya, the person least likely to be caught dead in a church. Why was he there? His eyes open wide in fear could give you a clue… but… yeah, knowing Kirihara, his senpai-tachi probably did something to him. Poor baby…

"WAAAAAH HELLPPPP!" He wailed. "Marui-senpai was attacked by killer squirrels!!!"

"…where's Niou-kun then?" Atobe asked.

"He was right behind…" Kirihara looked back to see… nobody there. "WAHHH, THE SQURRIELS GOT NIOU-SENPAI TOO!!!" Kirihara, in a state of panic, tripped over the old wooden floor and slid all the way across the church, knocking down the wine and the bread that was supposed to be Christ's blood and flesh.

"…Kirihara-san, you just knocked over God's blood and flesh." Ohtori sweatdropped with the rest of the Hyoutei/Fudomine members.

"Really?" The demon widened his eyes, "but it's only wine and bread."

"It's supposed to be God's blood and flesh." Hiyoshi mumbled.

"So is God like a gingerbread man?"

"…" The group sweatdropped.

"Hey, look, it's like that guy with the hair and the other guy with the bike…" Kirihara didn't seem to notice the awkward attention he was getting, or if he did, he just completely ignored it.

"…" Shinji and Kamio turned to the Rikkaidai junior. "How do you know us as the hair guy and the bike guy?!?!"

Kirihara shrugged and mumbled something about the Tokyo preliminaries, making his way out of the door when something horrendous ran across the courtyard of the church, it was absolutely horrifying, shocking and… evil… of course this was all in Kirihara's head as the thing that ran across the courtyard was nothing but a (harmless) squirrel.

"WAHHHH!" Kirihara fell backwards, immediately got up and ran away to hide behind Kabaji.

Somewhere in the distance, Shinji was muttering yet again, "I don't see what's so scary, this is supposed to be the number one Rikkaidai, why is he afraid of a harmless squirrel…"

"It ate Marui-senpai and Niou-senpai!" Kirihara pointed an accusing finger at the squirrel.

"It's too small to eat your senpai-tachi." Mukahi reasoned.

"Yeah! I'm sure your senpai-tachi are fine!" Jirou assured Kirihara.

Kirihara didn't look convinced, "so where are they?"

Just then, a throng of wild laughter could be heard from outside the church. Two Rikkaidai players by the names of Marui and Niou appeared at the door of the church, not even attempting to hide their mirth.

"Marui-senpai! Niou-senpai! You're alive!!!" Kirihara ran over to his senpai-tachi.

"Yep," Niou grinned at his kouhai.

Mukahi whispered, "Wow, I actually feel sorry for Kirihara."

"No kidding." Shishido actually agreed with Mukahi for once. Let's cross our fingers and hope they don't realize this and ruin the moment.

Well the moment got ruined anyway, no, not by Mukahi or Shishido and certainly not by Shinji or Niou. Not ever Kirihara or Jirou. Nope. It was…-insert drum roll- the priest! Poor priest too, to witness this… scene… in his beloved church.

"Busted…" Niou said to no one in particular.

"If Sanada finds out…we'll be slaughtered…"


"…" What happened last time? Was the question that passed through everyone's head. A question they were afraid to ask.

"What are you young boys doing at a church?" The priest asked, staring at his ruined alter.

"We're studying the architecture of the church." Oshitari lied without hesitation.

"Yeah!" Mukahi seconded the lie.

"That's very well but I fail to see why you have to ruin the alter in the process." The priest wiped his forehead with a napkin or something of the sort.

"It was an accident! I swear!" Kirihara confessed, turning and pointing to his senpai-tachi, "It was Marui-senpai and Niou-senpai's fault!"


"WHAT?!?!" Good job, little demon boy, you just got on the death list of your senpai-tachi, if you weren't on it already.


Meanwhile, the Fudomine boys tried to sneak away… lucky boys.

Shishido actually noticed, but didn't really care, he was too busy laughing at the scene in front of him. "Geki daze…"

"Language, boy." The priest scolded Niou…ouch.


"Priest has a death wish or something." Marui muttered.

"Now, a mass will begin shortly, if you do not wish to attend it, please exit the church immediately."

"Bah, spoilsport."

"We shall take our leave now." Atobe declared with his supercilious smile and a snap of the fingers, his team-mates followed him in a well rehearsed order, looking impressively rich.

"Rich bastards…"

"Language, please!"

"Whatever," Niou, Marui and Kirihara strolled out the church and walked down the road into the distance… -insert dramatic scene-.

Anyways, let's focus back to our main characters, ahem, now where are they…? Oh my, it seems that they're hungry already?

"If you really want something to eat, Atobe, you could buy a hotdog from that stand over there." Oshitari said.

"That disgusting commoner food? Ore-sama could try it…" Atobe considered, "How much would a hotdog be?"

"200 yen at most."

Atobe sniffed a little, "Cheap unhealthy peasant food."

"Shut up, we eat it too you know." Mukahi countered.

"I don't see why. With your money, you could eat something more… civilized, ne Kabaji, still alive?"


"It is civilized…"

"…Atobe-buchou…are you going to eat it or not?"

"If you really want something to eat, Atobe, just go buy a hotdog." Shishido advised.

"Yeah, stop being so finicky!"

"Ore-sama is not finicky! Just highly selective!"

"Uhh…" This was met with a round of the infamous Hyoutei sarcastic coughing.

"Ore-sama supposes it won't hurt just this once…" Atobe went over and bought a hotdog with the rest of the team. "Now how do you… eat this, I don't think you would need chopsticks…"

"First you put ketchup on it…" Jirou instructed.

"I can't believe we're teaching you on how to eat a hotdog!"

Atobe glared at Mukahi, "Ore-sama does not eat peasant food on a daily basis."

"Or at all."

"And then you can put mustard or pickles on it!" Jirou said. "Now eat!"

The rest of the team watched in anticipation as Atobe opened his mouth to eat the hotdog. They watched as Atobe chewed on the hotdog once… and then twice… and Atobe's face lit up.

"So how was it?" Jirou asked, fully knowing the answer.

"It is…unexpectedly good."

"Yay! Kei-chan tried something new!"

But Atobe wasn't listening anymore, he was too busy pigging out on his hotdog.

"I want Pocky!" Mukahi pouted.

"There's a snack bar over there, Mukahi-senpai." Ohtori pointed over to the snack bar.

"Kei-chan, let's go buy Pocky!"

"Ore-sama has never tried this… Pocky before…" Atobe considered.

The faces of his team that met him at that moment was of pure horror, who hasn't tried Pocky? It's POCKY! Atobe really didn't know what he was missing and like any other good team-mates, they decided to make him try Pocky…

"… This looks disgustingly cheap. Who puts chocolate on dried breadsticks? And it looks like cheap chocolate too… not the type Ore-sama eats..."

"Just try it!" Mukahi's vein popped out.

Atobe shot Mukahi a look and bit the tip of the Pocky. "It's…"





"I KNEW IT! NOBODY CAN RESIST POCKY!" Mukahi made to steal one from Atobe but Atobe, being the stingy rich bastard that he is, glared daggers at Mukahi.

"Atobe, you are so stingy." Shishido said.

"It's okay if you think ore-sama is stingy, just don't steal ore-sama's Pocky." Atobe glared at his team and then added, "Except for Jirou."

"Yay! Kei-chan!" Jirou kissed Atobe on the cheek and the rest of the regulars wanted to barf.

"Can we go home now?" Hiyoshi asked, trying to get the image out of his mind.

"If you want…"

"It's getting late, anyways…" Oshitari glanced at his watch and then at the setting sun.

"Yuushi! Let's do Karaoke together!"

"Why not?"

"Why don't you guys go ahead, Jirou's gonna stay over at ore-sama's, ne?"

"SUGEE!" Jirou followed Atobe and Kabaji away

"I'm gonna call my driver… come here, Choutarou, I'll give you a ride."

"If it's not too much trouble."

Nobody could foresee the disaster that was to come…

A/N: Sorry I neglected this and I ended it so abruptly, I had sooo much homework and a freaking biology test that I'm gonna fail. Wahhh, stupid school. What the eff is Grafting? ARGHHH, what's the difference between meiosis and mitosis…? Something about diploids and haploids… (yeah you can tell I'm gonna fail) Well I've finished ranting, enjoy.

I have no idea why I put Fudomine in there so don't ask me okay? And the next few ones will kinda go through the Dirty pair drama, it's gonna be pretty cliché but…yeah… let's just hope I don't have much homework…

ARGH!! STUPID! I wish I had a credit card, the 20.5 fanbook is only 4.00 US on eBay! –sniff sniff-

Editor's note:

Ica: Now, now Angie, it's WE are going to fail. Not YOU. Cause I'm gonna fail with you…I STILL have to study…DIE BIO. DIEEEEE