AN:// Good god its been a while. Sorry bout that. I have no real excuse, other than...oops. School is hell, bad excuse, but it's true. I am lazy, another bad excuse but its true again. Anyway. I hope you like this. I think there will be about one-two more chapters after this and then it's finished. So sorry if it seems to fly past, but I thoughtI might as well finish it so theres at least some closure-sorry for the bad writing because of the hurriedness. So yeah. Enjoy. Reviews are muchly aprreciated.

Disclaimer: Been there done that. Song-not mine. Ta da disclaimer done.

"Charge it to two hundred!"

"It's below ninety and falling."

The frantic nurse held onto the screen and watched as the heart rate gradually became flatter.


He heard the high pitched whine of the machine surge to life. The nurse nodded an affirmative and he pushed the paddles against the daughters' chest.


Her body arched like some great surge of life had been poured into her and then she fell flat again.

"Charge it again!"



Again she arched no sound or scream, something, anything to signify life.

"Come on, come on" he whispered to himself. So far in his career he'd only had one die on him he was not going to make it any higher than it already was. One was too many as far as he was concerned.

"Sir…She's been below eighty for a solid minute now, perhaps we should-"

"Charge damn it!" He turned and glared at her, the nurse stuttered backwards and pressed the button again.

The high pitched whine was all he could listen for as he watched the number on the screen and then he caught a glimpse of the straight neon green line.


The body arched, and he kept trying beyond anyone's belief, till finally it was over.

"Time of death. Three a.m." He handed the paddles over and turned away as the nurses pulled up the sheet over the young woman's body. He turned away from the second person that he was incapable of saving. His back faced yet another child who he would see in his dreams every night, and who he would remember everyday. Today he began his slump, but it wouldn't last long. Her death wouldn't be in vain, he would save as many people as he was able to. But first, before he could begin his selfish pitying state, he would go and talk to a man and a woman. Now no longer parents, due to the fact that he'd been unable to save their only child.

Axel woke the next day with sweat pouring down his face. His red side burns stuck awkwardly to his cheeks and he pushed them back to stare upon his reflection in the mirror. The skin under his eyes was a purple bruised colour; one could accuse him of entering in a brawl rather than an all night surgery. His skin was pale and pasty; he looked like he'd been suffering from a whole week's lack of sleep rather than just twenty four hours. Kairi had ordered him home the minute he was finished with surgery. He stripped off his gown and pulled off his gloves, threw away his surgical hat and ripped the mask from his face. He left her with a grunt and drove himself home, the dark road and the luminescent street lights were his only companion that night.

He didn't dream that night, he didn't sleep much, he just sat staring out the window of his bedroom up at the dark night sky and let the moon's haunting glow wash away his thoughts. Eventually he collapsed on top of his bed, in the clothes he'd had on since yesterday morning, they were dirty and uncomfortable. But Axel could care less, inside he felt nothing, no concern for what happened the night before or the night ahead. He just didn't feel, didn't think, he just was and that was enough for now. Tomorrow this would all pass, but right now his morning for the girl who he'd been unable to save was this. Do now what she can no longer do, don't think because that would be too cruel, don't sleep because sleep brings on dreams of all that you could have done and thoughts like that could drive you mad. Just be, just be here and now. It was simple but it was enough.

Roxas winced as the sun flittered in through the open window. He cursed Pence the nurse who was infamous for opening his curtains when he didn't want to "greet the day". Roxas glared at the pane of glass, cursing that 'stupid male'. He was a patient in the hospital for Christ's sake; he had the right to have the curtain closed if he wanted. Yes the doctors are usually right, but this wasn't a doctor, it was a nurse a male one at that called Pence. Excuse him if he doesn't receive the same amount of respect and command authority. Roxas looked over at the his watch on the bedside table, it was just coming up to nine thirty and Roxas still felt like he wanted to punch someone. Yeah he was not a morning person, it didn't help that he'd been up late last night worrying about all the commotion happening in the hospital.

Roxas had woken up to the sound of ambulances and people shouting orders left right and centre. It had been roughly twelve thirty by the time he realised the sounds usually broadcast by NCIS were coming from the room only a corridor away. Curious as any patient would be Roxas stood up and walked towards the sound of havoc. He'd just managed to get to the hallway when he saw the fiery red hair of someone all too familiar and then he was gone. No hello, no goodbye, Roxas doubted if he even saw him. He ran to where he'd last seen Axel, he didn't plan to talk to him he just needed to see him. Make sure that panicked and scared expression on his face had gone, or at the very least subsided.

Hanging onto the edge of the wall he saw masses of people and flashing neon lights colouring the usually white room. Stretchers bustled through the doorway and medics began speaking in fast, hard bursts. Roxas stepped back against the wall as they passed, he saw a young boy with a neck in plaster covered in blood. Roxas looked away when he caught the eye of a man with brown hair. He continued on like Roxas wasn't even there. Swallowing twice Roxas turned back to face the cataclysmic events before him. What seemed like hundreds of white coats fluttered in and out of the doors, surgeons in their blue uniforms, interns and nurses all together rushed in and out, back and forth. Then his sore eyes caught sight of those auburn locks that disastrously splayed across his head. Axel.

Roxas stook a step forward and then halted. Axel looked serious and that scared look still filled his usually carefree eyes. Roxas noticed his hands gloved and covering the burnt red hole on the girl's chest. She had long blonde hair that should have been tied neatly at the back, but was now stained and dishevelled. She wasn't moving. Roxas took a step back and before thinking about it another. He saw Axel run with some others along to where he'd assumed the operating theatre to be. The woman who Axel always called chief came running up the hallway towards Roxas and frowned as she passed him. Roxas wasn't sure but he'd assumed he'd just landed Axel in a bunch of trouble.

Roxas had turned and run back into his room, he'd been attempting to go back to sleep. Luckily after what seemed days and was only actually about an hour he'd managed to succumb to sleep.

Pence came back in again, it was roughly the thirty second time he'd come in to check Roxas's stats. Raising an eyebrow in the young male's direction Roxas promptly turned back around and stared out the god damn window. A bird flew past and Roxas could open his eyes properly. His victory was short lived when the obscuring bird flew away and Roxas's retinas were singed with sunlight. Happy, happy sunlight.

Pence came over and sat on Roxas's bed, making the blonde jerk in response.

"Um, hi?"

"You seem upset Roxas; do you want to talk about it?"

"No I'm good." Roxas turned away from him a sort of 'leave me alone' vibe.

"Talking helps"

Roxas's eyebrow twitched, this was almost as annoying as the 'nightmare' scenario. Roxas had been attempting to sleep on top of those preposterously hot plastic sheets that hospitals use to cover their beds. His skin was sweating and he was hot all over, so naturally he tried to toss and turn. This turned into a nightmare where he was strapped to the bed with a pence standing over the top laughing manically with an extremely large needle in his hand. The last thing he remembered was Pence saying, "Open wide" before Roxas was flipped on his bed (only now wondering where the rope had gone to) and the needle went straight towards his…well him.

"Pence for fuck's sake I'm your patient. Not your friend. I don't want to be your friend I want to leave and you're making my stay here impossible. I had a horrible night's sleep so either kill me or do me the curtesy of going away!" Pence stood and bit his lip, the hand wrapped around Roxas's clipboard clenched so tightly Roxas thought he might break it in two, or three. He walked calmly towards the end of the bed put the board in the holder at the end and then walked out. Pence paused briefly at the doorway and then kept walking. Roxas should have been worried that he didn't have a nurse to check his stats but in all honesty he was more worried about him coming back. Roxas turned on the television in the top corner of the room and tried to ignore the lingering feeling that something bad would happen.

"Thankfully television kills brain cells." He sighed.

Axel drove himself to work this day like most other days but what he saw on his way there almost made peak hour interesting. The chief on what appeared to be a date. A date, the chief? No way in hell. Axel tried to avoid hitting that bus that came out of no where when the chief smiled and laughed and then handed the male a piece of paper. Axel chuckled.

"This is gonna be good."

When he walked into the store room he walked right back out again. It was obviously being occupied, by what appeared to be a rather horny brunette and the latest college intern. He might want to mention that to the chief, then again he could always use it to his advantage-correction, his and Roxas's advantage. No stop, bad Axel naughty thoughts. Speaking of the blonde Roxas, walked in to check up on him and had to do a double take when he realised the bed was being made over.

"Where's the patient?" He asked the robust nurse.

"The father checked him out at roughly nine this morning. Why forget to say your goodbyes?" She snickered at him and then turned back to making the bed with a groan as she bent down. Axel wanted to choke her and then made himself leave the room when he realised he was holding his stethoscope strained between his hands. He left the room and rubbed his forehead. Then he continued along to his next patient. He'll deal with emotional trauma later; right now he had people to save. Okay so maybe it was a bit too superhero dramatic, but hey those guys don't fall apart while saving people. Much. Okay bad example.

Zexion was currently walking the hallways-correction, stalking the hallways to try and find Demyx. He wanted to apologise for the other day, more than anything he wanted to show him what he was actually feeling towards the blonde. Yes sure lust had a lot to do with it. But really he wanted that constant feeling of Demyx there wanting to be near him and he in turn wanted to be around him. He wanted to touch him, not always sexually but just to touch. In truth he missed Demyx and so that was why he was wondering around the Detol infused white walkways.

In the lounge? No

In the Pharmaceutical section? No again

In the bathroom? No for the third time now.

In the Janitors closet? No, no and no again.

Where the hell had he gotten to? It's not like there were many places to hide in the hospital. Well, then again he wouldn't really know himself seeing as he'd never had to hide before. Thankfully Zexion's twelve o'clock appointment had cancelled and just extended his lunch break. Half of it being wasted trying to find a perpetually horny blonde physio. Sliding past the janitor as he mopped the hallway for a reason unbeknownst to Zexion, thank god he ran into Marluxia. Now not many people knew this, but aside from Axel, Marluxia was one of the only people he could tolerate. That is, when he wasn't siding with Axel in being a complete and utter annoying little shit. Why did it seem that everyone aside from Zexion was making bets on who would jump who first?

Doctors; overly bored immature idiots the lot of them. Zexion fondly remembered the days when Axel first began his internship with the hospital. Well maybe fondly was too kind a word for the emotion that he'd felt. After having Axel 'consult' some of his more paranoid of clients he'd lost three of them to an asylum and one actually tried to commit suicide that afternoon. Zexion had only managed to stop her of course when Axel had mentioned that 'the intimacy phobe' had gone out for some fresh air. Thinking immediately of the roof he'd arrived to find a very dishevelled and shaky Patricia standing on the edge screaming 'why does god hate me!"

Aside from the mental scarring and practical jokes he'd inflicted on the students and staff Axel had a fairly good run. That was until he'd turned up one day, quiet and sluggish. Hell even his hair seemed flatter than usual. Being the resident quack and one to notice severe personality changes, although this was fairly obvious even a nurse could have noticed it, he decided to talk to him.

Axel and Zexion hadn't spent much time in around each other aside from the occasional pranking session, which usually ended in Zexion chasing Axel down the hallway with the name plate from his desk. Sharp end extended. Never the less Axel seemed less reluctant than first thought to share what had happened.

His mother, a father wasn't mentioned to which Zexion later found that he'd never been around, had kicked him out of the house and essentially disowned him. Why? The model son, the one who'd gone to med school which was an achievement in itself in the family considering not many had even finished high school. Simple, Axel's mother found out that he liked men. His mother had been the youngest daughter of a socialite family who'd expected the very best from her. Her two other sisters had all married lawyers and given birth to those of equally standards who then went on to marry more lawyers and so the spawn continues. Axel's mum, a knocked up single twenty year old at the time had produced a red haired (they were all blonde) lanky, tall, gay son. Not exactly the cream of the crop where Axel's mothers parents was concerned.

He'd said he didn't care, he said he hated his mother for it but Zexion could see the hurt in his eyes. He'd cared for his mother like all children do. Axel, the poor fool, had taken his mother pushing him into doing things not so much that he could be better, but so that she could look good. For a large portion of his life, Axel had taken his mothers offhandedness when it came to the affection between them as just her usual uncomfortableness around men. This action had confirmed his suspicions that he'd said he'd been having, although Zexion really wondered if he'd even had the slightest clue.

So after inviting him to stay over at his place until he got on his feet, Axel and Zexion got closer and became best friends. Axel now with a place of his own, still no decent contact with his mother aside from the occasionally letter that he sends, hasn't been better in his life. Until he met Roxas of course.

Marluxia stood there with an impatient frown on his face.

"You in there?"

"Yeah sorry, what is it?"

"I've got to go to a meeting with some ultra arrogant and obnoxious man who's got me booked in for an hour. So, along with dawdling to make him angry and if it's possible even more impatient I thought I would take the time out to say. Demyx. Is. On. The roof."

Zexion held himself steady from sprinting in the direction of the stairway.

"Firstly, thankyou and you should have told me earlier. Second, don't ever use the word 'ultra' in my presence again and you should be careful teasing this man or you won't get into his pants." Then he took off down the hallway and into the stairwell.

"How do you know I want to get into his pants?"

"You're a tease!" Came Zexion's reply from the stairwell,

"Oh." Marluxia taking in a deep breath turned and walked in the direction of his office.

Zexion made his way to the rooftop and by the time he'd pushed open the last door he was panting heavily. Stopping to catch his breath and trying to not throw-up he cursed himself and made a note to exercise more. Once he stepped out onto the open roof he noticed only one thing at first. Blue. Everywhere he looked, to left or the right, the sky masked all of the gloom with its cheerfulness.

Zexion walked out onto the grey cement roof and ignored the vent and the tower for what he never knew if was for. With a gentle disappointed sigh he looked out over the city and watched as things went past.

"I drink good coffee every morning, comes from a place that's far away"

Zexion closed his eyes as the soft words drifted in his ears. He didn't know where they had come from, but he was guessing he knew who they came from. His entire plan had just flown out the window.

"And when I'm done I feel like talking. Without you here there is less to say"

The words seemed to carry over the cold cement and his voice glided over every note and straight into Zexion.

"I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy, what is closer to the truth. That if I lived till I was 102, I just don't think I'll ever get over you."

Zexion turned and walked towards the tower and peered around the right side, furtherest from the door hoping to be unseen. There he sat, still dressed in his usual work clothing, throwing the occasional piece of his sandwich down to below where Zexion assumed birds sat. He smiled, shook his head and after a pause sang something else.

"Your face it dances and it haunts me, your laughter's still ringing in my ears.
I still find pieces of your presence here, even after all these years"

"I just don't think I'll get over you."

Demyx turned screaming and fell to the floor. Zexion caught between wanting to help the man and laugh stood frozen staring at Demyx's face with his lips pressed so hard to stifle a smile.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I'm sorry." Demyx shook his head and hiding his embarrassment returned to his sitting position. With a sad glance at the half eaten sandwich on the floor he sighed.

"I've been looking for you all day." Zexion offered.

"What a coincidence, I've been avoiding you all day." Zexion didn't even bother to hide his flinch. After a long silence which of most involved Demyx looking like he was about to leave Zexion did the thing he felt like doing since he'd first come up here.

"Fuck." He said.


"Fuck it all to hell." Demyx stared at Zexion's face with a bemused expression.

"The woman, Cerise, is the most unattractive, unappealing thing to me. My mother is prestigious socialite twit who has no idea of my or my feelings or…leanings, but she's the only thing I've got. I come to work most days frustrated on a bad nights sleep wondering where I'm going with myself. I haven't ever slept with someone and woken up beside that same person."

"Does this have a point?"

"But in spite of all that, you were there. In my life for fuck knows why, but you were." Zexion had Demyx's undivided attention. "I don't want any of my old life anymore if I can't have even a tiny bit of you in it and I don't just want a tiny bit."

Demyx grinned, "How long have you been planning to say that?"

"I just thought of it coherently then."

"I thought so." He smiled at Zexion and Zexion smiled back. After a moment of grinning like a couple of idiots Demyx's face straightened and Zexion quickly fell into line. With a raise of his eyebrows Demyx had Zexion confused.

"What is it?"

"You just missed the part where you were meant to kiss me."

Zexion with a snatch of his hands pulled the blonde into his lap and leaning over he whispered. "There isn't a part where I don't want to kiss you." With a smile and a roll of Demyx's eyes Zexion was finally reunited with what he'd been dreaming night in and out of.

Marluxia sat across from the blonde male who was pacing the room like a cat. He tried to not smile or laugh at the pompous arrogant way he held himself but he found it so… cute it was hard.

"Mr…uh." The man gestured at Marluxia whose eyebrow rose and simultaneously decided to screw his mind.

"Just call me Marluxia, professor." The blonde narrowing his eyes at the soft tone Marluxia had used nearly stuttered.

"Marluxia, your conduct with my person in light of my daughter was less than professional and you are quite lucky that I don't intend to sue for defamation."

Marluxia's good mood was immediately killed once he realised the Professor was serious.

"I came here today for an apology of which is more than due." He stood there with his arms folded across his chest and peered down at Marluxia. For some reason of which Marluxia didn't completely understand he was really aggravated.

"I don't believe I owe you an apology."

"But of course you do. Now this will be a lot easier if you just mutter a few words and let it be done with."



"I think you should leave."

"Let us be reasonable about this. I'm not going to leave until all is settled."

"There is nothing to settle!" The blonde frowned.

"Yes there is!"

"No there's not. I did my job and you are here pestering me from helping others. Not to mention you insulted me first."

"You are a male and a gynaecologist." The professor stated matter of factly.

"There are plenty of males who are gynaecologists. It's not weird because I'm not interested in women. I like men professor, get it right." Again the professor narrowed his eyes.

"Why must you bring it onto that subject?"

"What, homosexuality? You can't be serious." Marluxia frowned at the man. "You're uncomfortable about your sexuality? At your age?"

"I am much younger than you give me credit for." He snipped. Marluxia laughed then. "This is not funny." The professor walked forward and stopped in front on Marluxia trying to be threatening. Obviously he hadn't judged Marluxia standing up or that he'd be taller than him because he had to stop and take a step back. "What you have said to me today is nothing more than blatant harassment."

"They are very pretty words professor."

"Why you-" At that time two things happened both of which Marluxia claims he had no hand in. They stepped forward at the same time and made contact. Then of no fault of anyone's, Marluxia leant down and kissed the male. At first neither of them moved and then as the professor stepped back eyes wide mouth pressed shut, Marluxia looked up and smiled gently.

"How dare you."

"Shut up." Then again Marluxia was on him and the other man again didn't move away. The professor pushed at him but after Marluxia gently stroked his back and arms, what was said was done and there was nothing left to do.

Dr Illas sat in the chair next to the white bed; the only thing keeping her company was the steady beep of a heart monitor.

"You bastard." She whispered. "You bastard." Having no energy left she walked into her room and collapsed on the bed. As her pillow became wet she sniffed and allowed herself to go numb. All hope was lost to her now, she had nothing to strive for, why bother she thought.

Axel searched through the patient's records that night and successfully managed to avoid anyone asking him what he was doing. He finally, after hours of searching, found what he was looking for. With a quick motion he had the place copied down on the spare piece of paper and was out of there just as fast.

When he stepped outside that night and the snow fell on his face Axel felt nervous for the first time in his life. He was anxious and worried all at once as he checked the paper slip he'd taken just before his shift had finished a wind stuck up. The paper flew out of his hand and Axel took off in a run after it.

Demyx came home with him that night. As they cuddled together in the warm bed to the lamplight Zexion heard his phone ring. Once checking the number hung the phone up, walked to the door and threw it down the stairs.

"Mother can wait for once." He said smiling as he climbed back in towards Demyx, who waited with open arms.

Marluxia lay on the floor breathing heavily and the blonde man beside him followed suit. With a half smile he turned to look at the blonde who looked distinctly more confused and also more relaxed than before.

"By the way," The blonde looked at Marluxia as he propped himself on his elbow. "I didn't catch your name."

The professor closed his eyes and was utterly still for a moment. "Vexen."

Kairi returned home to her house that night after a long deserved day off, of work smiling for the first time in her life. She was happy, more than abnormally so and she began to giggle like a girl. She didn't have a method to this madness it just happened and so on it went into her night.