AUTHOR'S NOTE WARNING!!! This fic contains SPOILERS for "The Janus List" – the season finale of NUMB3RS.

That being said, I CAN'T BELIEVE COLBY IS A SPY!!

DISCLAIMER Don't own anyone.

I still can't believe it.

The car just pulled away from the FBI. They're heading to the prison to pick up Carter now. He's in the backseat in the handcuffs that I watched Don put on him and I still can't believe it.

He was my partner. He was my best friend. And he was our enemy.

When Don was interrogating him, at that moment that he confessed, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill the stranger I saw sitting in that room, because that sure as hell wasn't Colby Granger. Colby Granger would never say those things. He would never admit to such a horrible thing as treason.

I knew Megan followed me as I ran into the room. I think she only wanted to help. And I know Don was only trying to help when he grabbed me and forced me back outside, but everything was a such a blur that I didn't realize he was trying to stop me from doing something I would regret.

I was crying then. Not much makes me cry. I've seen some seriously messed up things on this job, but I've never been so disturbed that I have actually cried before. But this – this ultimate betrayal – I have never felt so hurt.

I'm standing alone right now outside the FBI building and there's a cold breeze blowing down the street. I shiver and sniff and feel another tear welling in my eye. He admitted it to me. He came right out and told me that he has been a spy this entire time and I still can't believe it. I can't let myself. I can't admit that the man I thought I knew – that I have entrusted my life to more times than I can count – has been working against us, against me, since the day I met him.

I know that treason is a part of what we do. There were traitors against this country before the country even really existed. But no one actually believes rumors to be true. They definitely do not expect it to be someone they know. Someone they care about.

There is no way I can let Don see me like this. Even more so with Megan. They cannot see me crying. I can't let them know how much this has hurt me. The idea of the sympathy from either of them is more than I can handle right now. I need to find someplace to be alone. Someplace where I can gather my thoughts and try to figure out how I go back to work tomorrow and assume everything is as it was.

Nothing will ever be as it was. No one can understand the betrayal of a partner unless they have been through it. Don has never even thought the word betrayal. Terri Lake was one of the best partners anyone could ever ask for and the earth will rotate backwards before Charlie ever does anything to hurt his older brother. Megan has never worked with a partner as steadily as I've worked with Colby. They'll both hurt from this, sure, but neither of them knew him like I did. He was my partner and I don't know how to go on from this.

Just before they put him in the car to take him away, he looked at me. "I'm sorry David." As long as I live, I'll never forget how he sounded at that moment. He really sounded like he might have meant it, but I will never be able to trust him again. That is the last memory I'll ever have of Colby Granger – the friend I thought I knew, who it turns out I never knew at all. I cannot trust anything he says as the truth. I have lost my best friend.

And now I'm alone again.