Title: Blondes

Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!

Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.

Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.

Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!

Side Notes:
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!!
5) Each chapter will be a different question.
6) My spelling suck...Wordpad...again...
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.

Chapter One: Questions

"Ugh!" Reno moaned as he leaned farther back in his chair. The front two legs were in the air as Reno kept himself balanced. His feet were resting on the desk while his hands were wrung through his hair. "I can't take it, yo!" Reno whined, looking over at his partner, Rude.

Rude looked over at the redhead, raising an eyebrow. "Take what?" he softly asked. Reno's eyes widened.

"You don't hear it?" He asked, looked incredulously at the bald Turk.

"Hear what?" Rude asked, listening for anything. "There's nothing to hear."

"Exactly!" Reno shouted, flailing his arms. With the sudden movement, Reno toppled backwards with the chair, landing on the laminated floor in a heap. "It's too damn silent!" Rude rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. "Boss ain't givin' us anythin' to do, yet we still gotta be here!"

"Then come up with something," Rude suggested shrugging. Reno scowled. This was not how he wanted to spend his Saturday morning. Reno rose to his feet, picking up the chair, then sitting back down in it. Suddenly, Reno's pocket started to vibrate, letting him know that someone was either calling or texting him. He grinned as he pulled out the sleek, black phone.

Reno looked down at the number, seeing Cloud's name flashing above it. He grinned as he flipped it open, reading the message that the blonde had sent to him.

" Reno," the swordsman wrote, "I'll be stopping over at Shinra to pick up the package that Rufus wants me to deliver. Don't forget to make sure the item is IN the box this time." Reno grinned reading the message, remembering what had happened last time. Let's just say it involved the blonde, a very angry chocobo, many bruises, and Reno, rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off. All in all, it was a good day for Reno.

Reno's thought process immediately switched to focus on everyone's favorite blonde hero. All of a sudden, Reno began to wonder if the stereotypes about blondes were true. Reno smirked as he pulled out a pad of paper, writing down a list of questions.

Well, Rude did tell him to come up with something. And now, he had something to do. After a few minutes of writing, Reno found himself looking over the list, grinning to himself. Rude just so happened to look over at that very minute, seeing the ecstatic redhead snickering to himself.

Rude quirked an eyebrow at the smaller Turk, but decided not to press the issue. He was not sure that he even wanted to know what the other Turk was reading, seeing how, more often than not, strange things can easily amuse the redhead.

Reno began to plan which question he should try to get answered first. He noticed that one question caught his eye quickly. He began to wonder on which blonde he should try to test these questions out on. Surely not Cid, he really had no patience, or joy for that matter, whenever he was even remotely near the redhead.

Rufus was out of the question also. After all, Reno has seen the blonde's sense of humor, which really was not all that funny. Rufus would sooner send him on paperwork duty for the rest of his life then participate in Reno's little 'game'. Reno also could guess what the blonde would do if he found out what was going on. That left only one blonde.

Cloud. Although he was always serious and never seemed to have fun, Reno felt himself drawn to the swordsman. Reno grinned, knowing the danger that came whenever he was near him, and also the thrill. Reno's grin widened as he looked over the questions. Thinking of all the fun he could have. Reno turned to look at Rude, seeing his partner stare at him from behind the sunglasses.

"What are you doing, Reno ?" Rude calmly asked, intrigued by the redhead's enthrallment.

Reno shrugged, "I found something to do." His answer was strangely calm, which alerted the bald Turk immediately. He continued to stare at Reno, knowing that if he kept it up long enough, the energetic redhead will tell him all that he needed, and more than he wanted, to know. Reno kept his eyes on Rude, feeling the intense stare. "Oh, all right," Reno gave in. "I got some questions." Rude quirked an eyebrow at the seemingly innocent confession, knowing that there was more to be heard. "And only one guy can help me with it."

Now Rude was fully confused. Before he could ask who the person was, the door swung open, revealing the blonde swordsman turned delivery boy. Reno's grin widened even more, become slightly eerie. "And here he is!" Rude's eyes widened, hearing that Cloud was going to be a part of the Turk's twisted little games he often played on the other members of Shinra. Mainly because the games never ended very well.

"I'm here, Reno," Cloud said, looking around the room suspiciously, as if he were about to be attacked by something that was hiding behind the desks or the plastic, dusty trees. "Where's the package?" Reno stealthily looked at his watch.

Reno's face immediately changed, becoming more confused. "What package?" Reno asked.

Cloud raised an eyebrow at the redhead. "The one Rufus wanted me to pick up," Cloud said, looking carefully at Reno.

"And which one is that, yo?" Reno asked, stopping himself from grinning and giving himself away.

"...Is he alright?" Cloud asked, looking at Rude. Rude shrugged, not knowing what to say about his partner's actions. "Reno, stop joking around, where's the package?"

"What package?" Reno said, keeping a straight face. Cloud was now staring at Reno as if he was going to sprout wings and fly away.

"...The one Rufus gave you?" Cloud asked, noy sure what was going on.

"Which one was that again?" Reno asked, laughing mentally at Cloud's confused look.

"I...don't...I don't know," Cloud admitted, wondering what was going on. "Can you call Rufus down here?"

"Who?" Reno asked, getting even stranger looks from the two. Reno felt like he was going to die of laughter at the sight of Cloud's confusion.

"...Were you hit in the head recently, Reno?" Cloud asked, looking at Reno for any bandages.

"Why?" Reno asked, knowing how Cloud would respond.

"Well," Cloud said, not sure if the slim Turk had lost his mind. "You just forgot who your boss is."

"Do you know who your boss is?" Reno asked, knowing that Cloud was now stumped.

"Reno," Cloud said warily. "I don't have a boss."

"Are you sure?" Reno asked, raising his slender eyebrows at the blonde. Rude shook his head, relaxing into his chair as he watched the exchange, pulling out a candy bar from his drawer. He slowly ate the snack, keeping his eyes on the two.

Cloud paused, not quite sure ow to answer that. "...What are you saying?"

"What are you hearing?" Reno quickly asked, seeing Cloud's puzzled expression.

"...What?" Cloud asked, feeling a headache begin to form behind his eyes. "...This is giving me a headache."

"How so?" Reno asked, feeling like he had made the right choice when picking Cloud as the blonde.

"..." Cloud was silent, trying to think of how to answer the redhead. "You're confusing me..."

"Really?" Reno asked, tilting his head to the side as he saw Cloud nod.

"Yeah," Cloud admitted, rubbing his forehead in small circles. "Tell Rufus I'll come by tomorrow."

Rude nodded, but Reno continued. "Don't you wanna see him?" Reno asked.

"...Later," Cloud said, still looking at Reno suspiciously. "Something is going on here."

"Really?" Reno asked, feining excitement. "What's goin' on here, yo?"

Cloud eyed the redhead carefully again. "I'll...see you, later." Cloud said, not knowing how to answer the question as his head thribbed painfully. Reno waved at Cloud as he turned away.

"You gonna call first?" Reno asked, seeing Cloud stop and look back at him.

"...Sure," Cloud said, turning back around and leaving the room. As soon as he was gone, Reno chuckled as he plopped down on his seat. Rude was now focusing all of his attention on the slim Turk.

"What was that about, Reno?" Rude asked, watching as Reno looked down at his watch, still chuckling softly to himself. Reno then picked up his pencil and notebook, writing down a note to himself.

Reno turned to face Rude, grinning from ear to ear. "I found something to keep myself busy with," Reno said glibbly. Rude let the topic lie, turning back to his own devices, leaving the redhead with his thoughts. Reno smirked as he read what he wrote. On his list, the question: How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question?, was checked off with a little comment, saying, Four minutes, forty-nine minutes!

Reno then looked over his list, picking out another question. he put a star next to the question just as the door swung open. The two Turks looked up, seeing Tseng standing there. "You both can head home now," Tseng said before turning and walking away.

Reno grinned, cheering mainly to himself. They left the building together, and headed to their own apartments. Later that night, while Reno was lying in bed, he started to plan how he would get Cloud to answer his second question. Reno yawned, covering his mouth. He rolled onto his side, smiling as he fell asleep, dreaming about the mental roller coaster Cloud was going to go on tomorrow.

End of Chapter One

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