Disclaimer: If I owned this would I be here? C'mon people, think!
Setting: Pick one. I'm too lazy/wired to decide.
Summary: Are blondes really that dumb? How long can you answer a blonde's question with another question? Do blondes really have more fun? How quickly do they react when put in a strange situation? How quickly can you annoy a blonde to the point that they scream? What is foreplay for a blonde? How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? How do you confuse a blonde? How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Reno plans on finding out...with Cloud.
Warnings: Um…hmm. Think I've used them all before-grins-. Basically, anything I can think up. I'll just see there my mind takes this…could be anywhere-grins-. If you've read any of my other stories…you know what you're in for. If not, you'll see!
1) This story will have romance at the end…or very close to it.
2) If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in a review.
3) Same goes for any ideas for future chapters...ideas, suggestions; they're different in my little world.
4) Will end in smut…as some of you who have read my fics already know!!
5) Each chapter will be a different question.
6) My spelling sucks...Wordpad...again...
7) Flames will not be tolerated-glares evilly-. This is your only warning.
Chapter Thirty Six: Curious / Crazy
Once the kiss was broken, Cloud licked his lips, a wide, goofy smile growing across his face. "I think I know of something else we can do," the blonde said as he ran his fingers down Reno's spine, feeling the shiver that ran down his back.
"Really now?" the Turk asked, smirking in triumph. "An' what's that, yo?"
"Let's take a shower," he offered, letting his hands slip lower so he could grip the redhead's ass.
"I like that idea!" Reno said, grinning widely as he climbed off of the swordsman, not noticing how the blonde was smiling at him. Cloud rose to his feet also, smiling as he wrapped his arms around the thinner man. "Bath or shower?" the Turk asked, smirking.
"Mmm, bath," the blonde replied, making the redhead grinned before sprinting into the bathroom. "I'm going to go put away your apron!" Cloud called out while his Turk began to fill the tub. Getting a wave from the man, the blonde turned to pick up the discarded fabric, his eyes landing on the crumpled ball of paper. Furtively looking around the room, and making sure that Reno could not see him, he picked up the piece of paper before heading into the kitchen. As he put the apron away, the blonde fumbled around for a place that he could hide the ball of paper where the Turk would not find it, giving him time to read it when the redhead was not around.
"CLOUD!" Reno yelled out, making the man in question jump. "BATH'S READY!"
"I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" he yelled back, quickly placing the paper in the utensil drawer, underneath the spoons. Cloud hurried back into the bedroom before walking into the steamy bathroom, rising an eyebrow at the obvious amount of heat of the water. Reno just smirked at him from the tub, where he was lounging in hot water and a large amount of bubbles.
"Gonna join me, yo?"
"What's with the bubbles?"
"Why wouldn't ya have bubbles, Cloudy-Cakes?"
"Why would you have bubbles?"
"...You're never going to tell me why you bought bubbles, huh?" Cloud asked, grinning as he slipped into the bath.
Reno grinned at him before saying, "I like bubbles, yo."
The blonde just shook his head, chuckling as he relaxed into the heat, his body lying flushed against the paler man's. Cloud purred softly as he wrapped his arms around Reno's waist, pulling their bodies closer together. As he snuggled into the warm body, which was in even hotter water, the swordsman could hear his silent laughter. Curious, the leader of Avalanche looked up and saw the thinner man biting his lip as he shook, trying not to burst out with laughter.
"What's so funny?" Cloud asked, narrowing his eyes as the redheaded Turk burst out laughing, unable to keep quiet for much longer. Instead of answering, the redhead continued to laugh hysterically, tears rolling down his face while he clutched his sides, his lungs feeling as if they would burst. Left eye twitching, the blonde patiently waited for the laughter to stop, and when that failed, he attempted to leave the bathtub, snarling darkly. He did not get very far as the Turk grabbed a hold of him and pulled him back down, making water and bubbles splash out of the tub as they struggled. The skirmish ended with Reno firmly sitting on top of the blonde's waist, pinning his shoulders into the metal side as he struggled to hold the furious man down.
"Calm down, Cloudy-Cakes!" Reno said, getting a fierce glare from the foamy, soaked man. "Why'd ya get so worked up when I was laughin', yo?"
"...I..." Cloud paused, looking away from the thinner man sitting on top of him. He frowned when he was forced to look at the redhead again. "...I...don't like being laughed at, okay?"
Hearing this, the Turk paused before cooing. "Awww! My widdle Cwoudy-puss 's self-conscious!"
"Shut up!" the blonde hissed, glaring darkly at the grinning redhead.
"Gimme a hug, ya adorable sweetheart, you!!"
"That's it! I'm leaving!"
"Calm down, yo," Reno said, smiling widely. "Ya need ta relax! I was laughin' earlier 'cause I never would 'a guessed that ya were one ta cuddle in a bath. Don't think anyone would 'a been able ta guess that!"
"...And that was funny?"
"Hilarious! 'Specially if ya could 'ave seen it yerself! But 'least now I know ya've got issues with yer self-esteem."
"Uh-uh-uh! We're gonna fix that 'fore ya go completely emo on me, oh Prince!"
"...You're having a great time with this, aren't you?"
"Can't we just bathe? Then we can do something else for fun."
"Reno!" Cloud hissed turning bright red. "We just did that! Not even ten minutes ago!"
"Ya look like a drowned cat, Chocobo-Head!" Reno shrieked, laughing once more as the blonde growled. "C'mon! Turn that frown upside-down!"
"You need mental help, Reno."
The Turk just grinned as the blonde smiled slightly. Though, he followed Cloud's request and they bathed their lover so they could move on to do something else. Once they were dried off, Reno suggesting that they shared a towel, getting the blonde to shake his head before towel-whipping the redhead on the ass. Grinning playfully, the thinner man chased the blonde throughout the apartment with the spare towel. When the pair finally gave up, the Turk collapsed on the couch, his chest heaving while the blonde decided that he was going to cook, once more.
Reno, having relaxed on top of his couch, turned on his television and forgot all about his list, which was supposed to be lying on the floor of his room. Cloud, on the other hand, pulled out all the ingredients he needed to make his next culinary creation to get the thin man to eat more. Every few seconds, his eyes darted to the drawer that held the paper before darting to the living room. Taking a deep breath, the blonde tried to calm his nerves, thinking that there was nothing for him to worry about because the Turk would not keep any secrets from him. The swordsman opened the drawer and quietly pulled out the piece of paper, slowly un-crinkling so as to not get the redhead's attention.
Once the paper ball was uncurled, Cloud read over the contents, confused. As he read over the questions and answers, he noticed that there was one common factor in all of it: a blonde. Finally putting all of the pieces together, the blonde's eyes widened in realization. Furious, he went over to the living room to confront Reno about the odd list.
"Reno," Cloud growled, tightly holding onto the paper. "What the fuck is this?!"
Seeing the list, the redhead pale considerably, Tseng's words coming back to haunt him.
"Uhh...didn't anyone tell ya that 'curiosity killed the cat'?" he replied, hoping that he would not get skinned alive.
I was originally gonna end it here, but I decided ta end this fic with an' even number of chapters. Plus, I think after all the times that I made ya'll wait fer updates that ya deserve a two-fer-one deal...granted, it's free, oh well. Plus, I wasted over a year of ya'll 's lives, so let's end it with a big...all right 's medium, so what...finale!
Cloud's eye twitched furiously as he glared darkly at the nervous redhead. "Answer the question!" he growled, getting a bit of satisfaction from how nervous he made the Turk.
"Tseng called ya the world's biggest psychopath!" Reno shouted, hoping to get the blonde angry at someone else.
"He did! He said it when he called earlier, yo! I swear!"
"...I'll...I'll deal with him, later," Cloud growled deeply, still glaring at the Turk. "But I'm going to deal with you first!"
With that short sentence, all of Reno's hopes for mercy crashed and burned in a fire-y blaze. The furious blonde suddenly smirked almost evilly at him, effectively creeping the redhead out. Without saying anything, Cloud calmly sat down on the couch, smiling at the man who was convinced that he was going to be slaughtered by the blonde sitting down next to him.
"Was this all a game to you?" he asked calmly, oddly reminding Reno of a calm before a storm.
"What?" the redhead asked, trying not to have his voice squeak or waver.
"Was all of this a sick bet to you and the other Turks? Some sort of conquest?"
"What? Ya mean us?"
"Yes," Cloud said, staring blankly at Reno in the eyes, looking far too calm for the situation. "What are we; a joke?"
"No! Never, yo!" Reno yelled, shocked that the blonde woud have thought that he was not serious when he was with him.
"It makes sense, though," he commented. "Your odd behavior, recently."
"Hey! What odd behavior?!" the thinner man snapped, frowning and haven forgotten his fears.
"When you forgot who your boss was? ...Wait a minute...the clown!!" Reno chuckled meekly as he slowly scooted away from the infuriated man. Cloud clenched his fists as he shook with rage, his glare almost making the Turk tremble with fear. "How did you know about the clown?"
"What do you think?!"
"I...kinda read 'bout it, yo." Getting a strange look from the swordsman, he knew that he had little choice but to continue speaking. "...In...well, I think it was yer diary, Strifey-kins."
"I don't own a diary!"
"Really, now? Be honest; no one's gonna judge ya," Reno said with a grin, noticing the embarrassed blush on Cloud's face.
"You know what! I'm not discussing that with you!" the blonde snapped.
"Admittin' it's the first step towards feelin' better, yo."
"Reno, admitting you have a problem is the first step towards fixing that problem, not towards feeling better!"
"Ya don't think havin' a diary's a problem? What are ya, a twelve year old girl?!"
"I need some time to process this..." Cloud muttered before walking into Reno's room, and locking the door behind him.
"Yer hidin' from me in my own room?! What...the...fuck...?"
Reno stared at his closed door for a while, wondering just how long the blonde was going to keep himself inside the room. Shrugging, and counting his blessings that he was not thrown out of a window, he went into the kitchen and put away all of the food that Cloud took out. He looked around the refrigerator for something to snack on, and grinned widely once he saw the bananas. He knew that he could use them to get back onto the blonde's good side, so he left them alone and pulled out a small container of yogurt instead. As he waked towards the couch, the redheaded Turk paused, hearing someone talking.
Confused, the redhead carefully walked towards the sound, guessing that any loud, sudden sounds would cause his favorite 'prince' to go on a killing spree. Reno paused once he found himself staring at the door to his room. Blinking, he pressed his ear to the door listening to the raging blonde.
"Oooh, he has no idea what he's gotten himself into!" Cloud practically seethed.
Suddenly, Reno jumped as loud laughter could be heard from the swordsman. At the crazed, maniacal laughter, the redhead quickly backed away from the door with wide eyes. He opened his container of yogurt once he was comfortably seated at the section furthest from his room, carefully eying the door. He could still hear the laughter, which was when he decided that the blonde was insane and he was going to die. The door swung open, making the redhead jump in his seat before looking over at Cloud, who was still as naked as he was.
"Uhh...have a good phone call?" Reno asked, as he ate a spoonful of strawberry yogurt.
"I wasn't on the phone," Cloud said looking puzzled.
"Of course not, yo."
"Okay...I've come to a decision."
"All right, fine, just no swears on my tombstone, 'kay?"
"When ya kill me, no swears on my tombstone."
"I'm not killing you, Reno," Cloud said with a slight smile.
"Really?" Reno asked, looking hopeful. The blonde nodded and the redhead smiled gratefully. "Then 'm gettin' a banana!"
Before Cloud could say anything, the redhead sprung up from his seat and dash into the kitchen and grabbed himself one of the fruits. He sat back down next to the leader, quiet roughly, before he decided to give him a show.
"Though, Reno," the blonde said, smiling slightly while the Turk focused on the yellow fruit in his hands. "You aren't getting off that easy." He paused, twitching once he saw the pale man lap at the tip with his tongue. "I will get revenge for your game of questions. And you will...will... ... ...Will you stop that?!" Reno grinned as he moaned softly, running his tongue up and down the fruit before he decided to deep throat it, making the blonde squirm in his seat.
"Go on," Reno purred before pushing the long fruit back into his mouth, noticing exactly how Cloud reacted to it.
"Err...well...I'll...ngh...I'm going to get my revenge on you!" he snapped before pulling the Turk into a kiss, the banana still being held onto by said Turk. "And you won't be able to stop me!"
"Wouldn't dream of it, yo."
"You won't even see it coming."
"...Why do I get the feelin' that I've jus' opened the Gates of Hell?"
"Because you did," Cloud answered with a dark smirk. "As you'll see."
"Yer kinda dark, Cloudy."
"You don't know the half of it."
"An' crazy!...But ya know what, I didn't find the answer to the most important question of all!"
"And what's that?"
"Do blondes really have more fun?"
Hearing the question Cloud chuckled somewhat darkly, making the hair on the redhead's arms and nape of his neck stand up. "Oh, no worries about that one; we always have more fun." Little did Reno know, the blonde was willing to prove it, too.
End of Chapter Thirty Six
Review an' tell me what ya thought! Remember: the sequel's gonna be called "Redheads"! So keep yer eyes out fer it, ya'll!
Thanks fer reviewing:
Favrite of Chaos: -Laughs-If ya think tha' he can actually accomplish that, ya've got more faith in him than I do! Granted, it might be stupidity instead of faith...either way, let's see how he does!
Mako Blue Reactor: -Grins-Yup, I think ya do! -Eases away from mob-So here's an update ta keep ya'll happy! Hopefully tha' 's a good 'nough bribe! True, unlike someone else I know -cough-Maumse-cough- who changes her penname like there's no freakin' tomorrow (still love ya though, sweetie-even though ya can be unpredictable)!
Bekas Strife: -Snickers-Doubt if anyone could!
Toons: -Laughs-I was gonna say; he already ended up on the end of that Buster Sword! Here's an update fer ya.
celes87: -Grins-I'll keep that in mind fer the sequel! Thanks!
carefreecat: Yup! Wait no more, sweetie!
Kaisha Shiori: -Snickers uncontrollably-Reno's a crafty one, ya gotta admit.
Organization13: -Snickers-Think we all do!
D3OPH3ST: -Laughs-I'll take that as a good thin'! Here ya go, sweetie!
LittleLoneLiar: Okay...sorry, 'm bad with dealin' with death; 'm either detached 'r break down (usually both). Umm...hmm...is yer dad gay? -Grins meekly-Sorry, all I can focus on from that sentence. I got some jumbo band-aids if ya need 'em...my dad got 'em fer me 'cause I accidentally sliced deeply into two of my fingers...'m blonde, couldn't be avoided. Aww, well, I hope ya get through it all right.
foxy-comic-death: Aww, thanks, sweetheart!
Stoic-Genius: -Laughs-That he is! -Snickers-Let's find out! My bet's on not fer long.
GumLime Pirate: -Laughs-Well, hopefully I helped ya with that topic. Uhh...well...I dunno; I'd guess so! -Laughs-. Okay, Sweet-Cakes! -Snickers-Well, maybe ya wouldn't have ta if ya didn't change accounts so often. Maybe ya'll learn not ta do that more, huh?