Summary: His plan was flawless. He was supposed to be Kira. Him and that Amane Misa. Yet he hadn't factored in the weakening of his heart - He had never made mistakes. He had never moved without a precise plan to back him up. Yet everything was falling apart like a broken wall - Could one look past the facade? Could the other banish the part of him that desired confrontation? All that is needed is just one variable in an equation both fear to say out loud.
A/N: Welcome to my story, Abyssal Heart! I have finished the Manga Death Note, and am currently watching the Anime. Now, I must warn you that this story will contain spoilers for Episode 25/Chapter 58. Also contains Yaoi, Slash, etc. etc. If you don't like, don't read. With that being said, shall we get going with the fun?
Edit: Some people may not of realized, but Yagami Raito is also known as Yagami Light. Just thought I'd clear that up. I still prefer original Japanese name, so this is a heads up on that. Raito is Light. There.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Death Note. Not the characters, nothing. Meh. Now I'm all saddened.
Oh! I'm a music freak, and I seriously cannot type worth anything without my music. I was listening to Apologize - One Republic and R-Evolve - 30 Seconds to Mars when I wrote this chapter. Highly recommended, both of them. Also, if you have any good songs for me, please mention those as well! Thanks!
Click. Click. Click.
Yagami Raito felt his eye twitch. He never twitched. Never lost his composure. Well, given the odd situation he was currently in right now, he didn't truly know what to think anymore. His ears were bleeding – he was sure – and his eyes were most likely mirrored images of the sugar-craving insomniac he was currently chained to; the one that was presently making that insufferable noise.
Click. Click. Click.
He hadn't truly expected such an outcome as this. Sure, he had made miscalculations before... but being handcuffed to a person wasn't exactly a variable one would have waiting on the sidelines of an elaborate equation. He would rather be confined...wait, scratch that, he had done that already. All right, he would rather knaw off his own arm than sit here on his rolling chair, staring blankly at website after website of useless information and only get one or two hours of sleep a night. But no. He was stuck here, hopelessly succumbing to a life of torture whether he wanted to or not. Well, he wanted to help with the investigation, but he wouldn't have minded doing so from his own home.
Click. Click. Click.
And he was even forced to listen to that intolerable noise! Raito gritted his teeth, knowing how aggravated his dentist would be when he went in for his next check up. At the beginning of two weeks – perfect molars – now? Well, he was nearly at the gums. And who did he have to thank for that?
L. Ryuuzaki. Ryuuga. Whatever the hell his name was.
That was where his variable had failed to be factored in. Oh, he had remembered to pen in his nemesis' name above the equation; he just hadn't expected the spindly detective to go as far as to chain him to his side. That was far-fetched, and beyond Raito's comprehension at the time.
It wasn't now.
Click. Click. Click.
He glanced over at his captor. The spidery investigator was currently devouring some sugary concoction, filled with God only knew how many artery clogging, disease causing pathogens. Raito felt the cavities beginning just watching him. But no matter how much the detective ate, he gained no weight from the sugary snacks. Faded, baggy denims hung low on his boney hips, and his legs were currently curled up to his chest, bare toes waging war with each other. A thin, white sweater hung loosely on his frame, and thick torrents of black hair shot out in disarray around his head. Beneath his midnight grey eyes, black circles clung, contrasting against his pallid skin. In Raito's opinion, he looked like the living dead.
Click. Click. Pause... Click.
Raito felt his other eye twitch. He tore his gaze away from his roommate and back to the massive stack of papers piled beside his computer. Maybe if he staged it properly, he could catch a few moments of rest. Glancing back over at L to make sure he was still preoccupied with his sweets – he was – Raito strategically placed his head on top the large pile.
"Yagami-kun, if work is boring you, I suggest you do something aside from smear the ink on those important documents," drawled L. Raito jerked his head up, therefore successfully scattering all those 'important documents' to the floor.
Raito coughed softly, before getting up from his chair to retrieve the papers. He heard L turn his chair back and forth in an irritating manner, thus increasing the excruciating noises.
Click. Squeeeak. Click. Click.
Raito delayed his attempts to pick up the last three articles, glancing up to stare murderously at the lead detective. He hadn't realized just how sleep deprived his brain was until it began singing random snippets of Christmas songs. He shook his head and gathered up the remaining papers.
"Ryuuzaki, can we postpone working until tomorrow? It's two-thirty in the morning," stated Raito, climbing unceremoniously into his rolling chair. It protested under his weight, adding to the noises around him. He had tried this tactic many a night before, asking L for sleep – not that he enjoyed admitting defeat in such a conscious way – but his brain just didn't function like L's. He could not work without sleep, and even though he knew the answer, he hoped L would retain some common sense and realize that Raito didn't actually do anything after one o'clock in the morning.
Truth be told, Raito had tried every plausible feat to make his point visible to the seemingly blind detective, but nothing worked. He had blatantly shut off his computer – though he turned it back on afterwards – balanced the papers on the edge of the desk until they had fallen to the floor, even resorted to L's usual stacking methods, but still the investigator refused to acknowledge the fact that Raito was doing nothing to help with the Kira investigation after one a.m. Sighing with a resigned demeanour, he leaned his elbows on his knees, awaiting the rhetorical response.
Click. Click. Click.
Raito glared, straightening his posture. He would not be deprived of sleep any longer. He was running on minimal energy as it was. Another Christmas carol entered his mind, and he banished it to the corner of his fatigue shrouded brain. He stretched, and then stood up, jangling the chain between suspect and investigator. He felt L's owlish eyes turn slightly in his direction.
"I said no, Yagami-kun. Kira will not be caught if we sleep on the job," murmured L, plopping a rather odd looking candy into his mouth. He gazed back at the computer screen.
Click. Click. Click.
Raito ignored him and the noises, turning to look around the dully light room.
With everyone gone, and it already being two-thirty in the morning, the room L had chosen for their investigation purposes was cozy if you were a spindly detective and wished to torture a teenager. They had moved their investigation up to the room they shared, and it reminded Raito of the prison cell he had been locked in for those fifty days. The room was barren except for a bed, a long desk where multiple computers could be placed – only L and his laptops' were stationed there at the moment – and rolling chairs. A door connected a bathroom and an entertainment room to their little sanctuary but that was it.
He remembered the first time L had dragged him up to their room – it had been practically dawn, so they could've stayed downstairs in the main room – and Raito hadn't minded the entertainment room when he had first set eyes on it. But then he had seen where they would be sleeping.
"What's wrong, Yagami-kun?"
"I'm not sleeping in the same bed as you. I already have to tolerate your existence twenty-four seven. I have no intention of waking up knowing that I truly am a captive."
L had fingered his lip as if truly considering Raito's allegations. He glanced at the bed, furrowed his eyebrows and then shrugged. "Suit yourself, Yagami-kun. I can sleep on the bed, and you can sleep on the floor. The chain only permits a two foot distance, so you are not going very far without my permission." A slight smile tugged his lips. "Though the floor can be quite chilly at night, even with the new carpeting."
Click. Click. Click.
Raito felt his brain stall from the noise and he threw another menacing glare at his roommate. He had ended up sleeping in the bed anyway, and had found that no matter how early he awoke, L was always gazing at him from the foot of the bed, wide awake, chewing on his thumb nail and staring at him with those owlish eyes.
Rubbing a hand over his agitated brown eyes, he focused on the laptop in front of L and wondered vaguely how L could possibly still be looking at files on the Kira case. Suddenly, an idea formed in his overworked mind. Maybe he could pull off a sleeping act after all.
He walked up behind L, who was currently chewing on his thumbnail as he usually did, and searched the laptop for the power button. Locating it with relative ease, he waited a few moments before jumping forward and pushing L out of the way. The startled detective, seated upon a rolling chair of course, was helpless to stop his forced direction, and even more helpless to stop what Raito now decided to do.
"We sleep, or I shut off this laptop and you lose everything you've gained. Understood?" asked Raito, his finger hovering over the little button. L made a grab for the computer, but only managed to hook his fingers around the mouse cord. He gave a feral yank, but Raito had a firm hold on the electronic device and refused to relinquish his hold. He wanted – no, he deserved sleep.
"Yagami-kun, your behaviour right now has brought your percentage of being Kira up three percent," said L, his voice strangely high strung.
"Oh? And why is that? Because, unlike you, I actually need sleep in order to function?" retorted Raito, jumping back as L made another attempt to reclaim his laptop.
"Give it up, Ryuuzaki. I am not giving you this laptop until you either agree to my demands, or you lose all your hard-earned work. Which is it?" Raito made another dodge, and for once he realized just how perilously close he was to passing out. He never did things like this. Maybe that was why he seemed so out of character...
L unfolded himself from his chair and pushed it backwards, causing Raito to take another step back, his finger moving downwards. But, again, he hadn't factored in one indispensable variable.
L jerked it hard, and since the finger that was hovering over the power button happened to be the one that was connected to the chained hand, the computers power supply was no longer in any impending danger. However, Raito's balance was.
Beep. Beep. Beep...
The computer crashed to the floor, giving off feeble beeps that warned the two that it was shutting down. However, that was the only noise that penetrated the uncanny silence that now stretched between them. Raito stared unblinkingly down at L, who in return stared up at him. Raito's forearms were on either side of the black haired detective's head, wherein L had his hands against Raito's chest, one curled in the fabric of his shirt and the other flat against his heart, which was beating erratically at the moment. Raito could feel L's hair brushing his forehead, and knew that his own chestnut hair was doing the same, showing just how close they were to each other. The offending chain was strewn across L's abdomen, and was being imprinted into his body by Raito's weight.
"Raito-kun..." breathed L, not breaking eye contact. Raito saw him release a breath, and realized that he, too, had been holding his. "You're cutting off my oxygen supply by sixty percent."
"Oh," he replied, but didn't move. L rarely used his first name, and when he did, Raito felt it was only applied when L wished to tell him something. It was odd that he used it now, when they were so close to each other...
What else was odd was that L's eyes, when viewed up close, weren't just midnight grey, like he had first thought, but had small flecks of other colour near the iris. Suddenly, his vision wavered, blurring everything and he shook his head, losing his sight momentarily. Yet, that wasn't the only function he seemed to lose control over. His arms, which were the only thing stopping him from crushing L, suddenly spasmed and he barely managed to hold himself up. The muscles in his left arm relaxed and he fought to control it, but he ended up losing that battle, his overtired brain finally telling him what he already knew; his muscles were going on strike. And they were starting at the most inappropriate time.
He collapsed partially onto L, and felt the detective exhale in surprise. However, L didn't push him away, just let him relax partially against him, though his hands curled tighter into Raito's shirt. Raito managed to keep his right arm under control, and thus his right side was still off the unexpectedly rigid detective. Yet his head was no longer level with the other youth's eyes, but was resting quite comfortably on L's shoulder.
"Raito-kun, I now agree that we should sleep," muttered L, his grip tightening just a fraction.
Raito nodded slightly, and tried to move his left arm. He managed to shift his fingers and concentrated all his willpower on making the limb move. It actually listened to him. He breathed a sigh of relief. Placing his hand back down beside the silent detective's head, he finally managed to push himself off. His brain protested, arguing about how comfortable L's body had been, and if he didn't find something damn quick to replace that with, it would turn off his ability to control his legs.
Raito staggered to his feet, raising a weary hand to cover one eye. L leaned up on his elbows, his unkempt bangs hiding his eyes. Raito waited; he couldn't make a move towards the bed as the chain wouldn't permit more than a two foot distance between the two of them. He glanced over at the laptop and realized with a sinking feeling that he had just lost all of L's hard work. Dropping his hand, he wondered if he should apologize, or if he would just be brushed off.
Clink. Clink. Clink.
The soft sounds of chain links coming together drew Raito's attention away from the laptop and towards the youth on the floor. Well, he wasn't on the floor anymore. He was crouched now, and was chewing on his fingernail, eyes still masked by his unruly hair.
"Raito-kun, sleep is very important to you?" It was in the form of a question, not a statement, as Raito had expected. Again, L was using his first name. He wondered why.
"Yes. My mind cannot function like yours without a certain number of hours to refresh," replied Raito. His eyes were again drawn to the laptop. "I'm sorry about your laptop."
"It's too late to apologize." L got to his feet and moved past Raito, scooping up the laptop. He moved towards the bed, dragging Raito with him. He stopped and deposited the useless machine on the covers. Glancing over his shoulder, he said softly, "As to your response, I will allow you to sleep for the rest of the night, Yagami-kun."
Raito started. L was back to using his last name? What had changed? What had he missed? Something vital had just occurred, and it had slipped past him, like water through his grasping fingers. L sat down on the bed and turned back the covers, separating them and then taking two for himself. He waited until Raito was on his side of the bed before pulling at the blankets and making an elaborate nest around himself, the two blankets and three pillows now intricately caught amongst each other. He then buried himself within that tangle.
All the while Raito just watched this, completely caught up in his new discovery. He had never once witnessed L sleep, nor did he spend too much time dwelling on this fact. But then again, living with the same person inseparably for two weeks had done something to him, and he had become extremely attuned to every one of L's movements.
He blinked, his brain fuzzy. Dull light hazed over the room; he hadn't turned off his laptop. That would disrupt his sleep. He needed complete darkness or he would be roused from his slumber the minute he managed to shut down every little thought. He pulled at the chain.
Rustle. Rustle. Rustle.
"Yagami-kun, you wished this time to be for sleeping, so sleep. If you desire to still work, then you did not have to go through such tactics," came L's muffled reply.
"I need to turn off my laptop."
"Do so then. Nothing is stopping you." L burrowed deeper into his nest of blankets and pillows.
"Actually, this contraption you have attached to me is. Either detach it or get up and turn off the light with me," snapped Raito, refusing to give up. He was getting more stubborn in his disposition as of late. It had to be sleep deprivation.
L moved again in his nest, and then there was a click, followed by the cuff thunking softly against his chest. Raito stared in disbelief. Had L really just done what Raito thought he did? Raito experimented just to be sure.
Clink. Clink. Clink.
The chain followed him and coiled in his lap, the cuff cold against his fingertips as he explored it. L rarely uncuffed him unless he needed to change his shirt. He looked up to see L watching him through one of the folds in his elaborate fort.
"When you return from your expedition, give back the cuff. I am trusting you with this small feat. Don't disappoint me."
Raito nodded slightly and stood, banishing the whining voice of his fatigue to the corners of his mind and walking over to the desk. L had unlocked him from his side. He had actually done it. He was free without any cameras or any other means to watch his movements. His fingers trailed over the keys of his computer, saving his days work and then clicked it off, plunging the room into utter darkness.
Raito sighed, and felt his gaze go misty once again. If he wasn't careful, he would end up spending the remainder of the night on the floor.
You could've been sleeping on L if you hadn't been so stubborn, informed his inner voice, refusing to be ostracized to a dark corner once again. Raito froze, surprised mainly that his thoughts would take such a turn, and also that such an idea would be appealing to him. He shook his head angrily and strode over to the bed, bumping his knees against the mattress. He sighed and collapsed onto it.
"Give me the cuff."
Clink. Clink. Clink. Pause... Click!
He tuned out everything. Silence enveloped him, and he blinked hazily at L, whom he could see watching him through the strategically placed holes in his blankets. He didn't care. He could sleep now. He buried his face into the pillow, and sighed, feeling his brain mirror his actions. He hadn't even changed into anything else for bed. He couldn't drag his exhausted muscles into doing anything more. Succumbing to the wonderful powers of sleep, he didn't realize just how much the actions of the night had shaken up a certain detective watching him from the protective nest of blankets and pillows.
A/N: All right, so ends chapter one. Please Review! And don't forget to recommend songs for me. Aha. Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. I very much did. Now, I need to go wrestle with my MP3 player as it is being a snot nosed little - okay, nevermind. Well, await the next date! Adios!!