A/N: Well this is something that once again my twisted mind created the other day at 1 a.m., the idea came after reading a fic. that had so much angst, so this is the result. This was written in Shizuru's POV. I'm not sure if I should write Natsuki's, or leave this as a one-shot. Tell me what you think, hope you like it. This one takes place in Mai-Hime universe.

Oh, BTW, tell me about any typo or grammar mistake.


Disclaimer: I don't own Mai-Hime. Must be some karma…


"Ara, ara, Natsuki, you shouldn't do that", said a voice with a beautiful Kyoto dialect. She was smiling and looking at some point of the white room. She giggled a bit, totally oblivious that she was being watched.

"Mou Natsuki, too much mayo in that is not good", silence followed, then she spoke again. "Okay, just this time, because I love you so much".

One of the persons that were watching her noticed that she had a smile in her face. It hurt, because it was an irony that she was happier in there than in any other place.

I was a real fool……how could I have done that? I keep asking myself after all this time. In the end I only find the same answer all over again. I just…I just wanted to protect you. You meant the world to me, I wanted to keep you safe from everything but it was me who caused you the most harm, too much that I can't forgive myself, really, how could I forgive myself? Not even heavens could forgive this kind of sin.

I wish I had been braver that time, to oppose their decision; but their threats were so true that I feared for your safety. "Don't ever see that girl again" they said "Unless you want 'our people' to dispose of her". I immediately understood what they meant with that. I just couldn't let it happen, so I decided to do something about it. Even if my heart was breaking into pieces just like my soul I went to see you in our favorite place, I had to end this so you would be safe from those people.

Your stunning face had the brightest smile that day; it seemed that it grew bigger and prettier every time we saw each other. Your lovely eyes shone when they met mine, you came running towards me and engulfed me in a tight hug and then a passionate kiss. You always amazed me, who would have thought that you could show this kind of affection? This only broke my heart more than it already was but I had to do it. Everything for your safety, nothing else mattered, that's what I thought.

I let go off you hand. You looked at me with a puzzled face and asked me if I was fine. I was looking at the ground, but then summoning all the strength I had inside me I tilted my head up and locked my eyes with yours. My face had a serious expression; I was able to build again a perfect mask, just like those you were able to crumble. My eyes showing no emotion, they were empty of every feeling, I was suppressing them. Everything what I really felt was behind that mask but it was so perfect you didn't notice it. Realizing that, I spoke those words that I never thought I'd say to you, they were like venom to your heart but nevertheless I said them. Your eyes opened widely, totally taken aback by them. I saw the fear in your eyes; your hands went to my shoulders and then you shook me back and forth begging for an answer, pleading to the heavens that they weren't truth. They weren't but I couldn't let you know in that moment. I took your hands and removed them from my shoulders; I gave them a light squeeze and laid them in your lap.

My hands went to my neck and I removed the silver chain and the ring that was attached to it, that gift you gave me time ago; it was my treasure. I placed it in your hands, standing up I began to walk away. You yelled my name but I never turned around to see you, I just kept walking. Desperate you ran to me and hugged me from behind, asking…no…begging for an answer. I felt your tears falling in my hair and my neck. I hated myself for this but if it meant your safety I'd be happy to pay the price. I released myself from your hug and without facing you I said again; "I don't want to see you anymore, don't ever appear in my way again. I hope you understood, Kuga-san". I started to walk again; tears falling from my face drenching my shirt; I felt empty and lifeless but that was only the beginning. That was the last day I heard you voice.

A couple of weeks had passed since that fateful day. They noticed my change of attitude, however they didn't care; they were pleased even if they knew they took my happiness away. Also as if life wanted to make me more miserable, one morning I received a call from Mai. When I saw her name in the screen on my phone I thought she'd ask me what happened to us. How I wish she had asked that instead of telling me the reason of her call. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it!! It had to be a lie. I couldn't afford the idea you were not longer here.

Your friends were worried about you; you didn't attend school and didn't answer their calls. When they went to see you, it was too late. Before you left you decided to leave two letters behind; one was for Mai and other for me. I cried to no end after reading your letter. It was me! All because of me!! It was me who caused you this pain, I was a demon; it was me who make you suffer the most, I was a sinner; it was me who took your life away, it was me who killed you, I was an assassin. I went to where your body laid. You were there resting peacefully, as if you were sleeping, but I knew that this was a sleep you'd never awake from. I touched your porcelain face, it was pale and cold. I couldn't resist any longer. I landed over your body, crying and screaming your name, begging your forgiveness, saying how much I love you, all in vain because I knew you couldn't hear me and more even, you wouldn't answer me.

I hated myself. You left this world thinking that your love was a burden to me, that you were a nuisance, that I……that I hated you. How could I hate you? You gave me everything I all ever wanted and much more. I'm sorry. I feel so sorry. Please forgive me. That's my only wish.

I failed. I failed trying to protect the person I loved the most. I couldn't protect you from myself.

I couldn't keep going like this but they didn't let me follow you even if I tried, oh…how many times I did try. I simply gave up and decided to run away to the only place I could see you again; in my mind, in my memories; I liked to call it my Sanctuary.

"How is she?", said a deep voice with Kyoto accent.

"We gave her some medication so she's more tranquil right now", said an old man. "She stopped trying 'to do it', so it's a progress".

"Progress?! How can this be a progress? Look where she is for god's sake!", yelled the other man pointing at the white room.

"We're doing everything we can sir, but it seems she doesn't want to cooperate, she wants to stay 'there'", replied the old man.

"I don't care what it takes! She's a Fujino, got that?!" the man turned around and began to walk away. "Inform me about any change."

"Yes sir", the old man looked at the girl in the room one more time and sighed, then followed the other man and escorted him to the exit.

The man with Kyoto accent left the building and walked through the main gate.

On the top it could be read: "Arkham Asylum".


Well, what do you think about it? Did you like it?

I wrote this fic. thinking in a "worst case scenario", I don't know if Natsuki would do something like this, after all she's a strong character but who knows? I wanted to give it a try so this came up.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review.

Ah, btw, don't worry about the other fics. The next chapter of Natsuki Doggy is on progress.

See you around!

Shezaei neko