A/N: Hello everyone! As if I didn't make you cry enough with the first chapter, here I bring you Natsuki's POV of this fic. Please let me know of any typo or grammar mistake.
I know it'll sound bad but……Enjoy it! And don't forget to review. (just in case, prepare a box of tissues)
Remember this takes place in Mai-Hime Universe.
Disclaimer: I don't own Mai-Hime. Just in my dreams.
My breathing was quick; my body's temperature was dropping considerably fast, my heartbeat was slowing; staring at the silver piece in my hand, my mind traveled to that day; that day when my destiny changed just like the meaning of my life.
I had no other choice, I couldn't find another solution. This was the only way I could fulfill your request. If that's how you felt then so be it. I will do as you wish. Everything for you, even if my heart ached if it was for you I'd do anything at all, because……
"I love you……"
My last words to you.
I woke up with your call, your voice erased any trace of sleepiness from my body; your beautiful voice gave me energy, made me feel alive. You told me to meet you up in the usual spot, that favorite place, OUR place. I agreed immediately, and then you hung up. In a couple of hours I was ready, leaving the apartment I went to see you.
You were there, waiting for me. Upon meeting my eyes with yours I sprinted to you, ready to take you in my arms and give you a fierce hug and then a breathtaking kiss, just like you liked them. When it finished you let go off me and met my eyes. You had such a serious expression as if something worried you; I couldn't stand seeing you in such state so I dared to ask what was troubling you. You raised your beautiful face and locked your eyes with mine. I was surprised by your expression; it was just like those you had before, without emotion. This scared me, in all this time you never had them again, so, why now? I was about to say something but you spoke first. The words that left your sweet mouth pierced my heart, my soul, all my entire being. My eyes were wide open, my mind unable to register what you just had said. No, I couldn't believe it! You couldn't be saying that kind of things. Not you!! My hands took your shoulders and shook you; my voice was full of fear, I was totally scared. I began to ask you reasons, telling you that this joke wasn't fun, telling you to stop this kind of teasing, begging you for an answer. I got none. This had to be a nightmare.
Then I felt something in my hands, looking down I saw it; it was the silver chain with the ring I gave you; that ring you saw in the summer festival, that ring I bought and gave it to you because you liked it, because you wanted it. You were so happy that day; you told me it would be your treasure; that you'd use it with the silver chain so it'd be closer to your heart; so you could always feel me. Now it was in my hands.
You stood up and began to walk away. I screamed your name time after time but you didn't stop, you kept going. I couldn't let that happen, I stood up and ran to you, I hugged your slim figure from behind. Tears began to come out from my eyes falling in your back, in your silky hair, in your creamy neck. My body was trembling just like my voice as I was asking you why you were doing this. I wanted answers and I thought you'll give them when I felt you were releasing yourself from my embrace; how wrong I was. Still with your back facing me, you spoke, not what I wanted to hear. I still remember your words: "I don't want to see you anymore, don't ever appear in my way again. I hope you understood." Your voice didn't waver when you said them, but what really took me totally aback was how you called me afterwards: "Kuga-san." The way you said it made me shiver, such seriousness, so indifferent, so……cold. You started to walk away again, I wanted to follow you but I felt so weak, all the energy you gave me was being drained from me with every step you gave. The only thing I could do was to scream your name: "SHIZURUUUU!!". You never stopped walking; you never turned around, you never came back. As I saw your frame disappearing in the distance I fell on my knees, I shut my eyes to stop the tears that were flowing endlessly, my hands were clenched into fists banging the floor. I stopped banging it until my hand went numb. I opened my eyes and looked at my hands; there was blood; the force I clenched my hands with was too much that made my palms bleed and now they were staining your ring. I stared at it. Flashes of the past came; those things I wanted to forget: my father's betrayal, my mother's death, the carnival, THIS.
Rain began to pour heavily; drenching my clothes, mixing with the tears that never stopped flowing. I stood up and somehow I managed to make it back home. I changed my clothes and looked my own reflection on the mirror. My eyes were red from all the tears I shed, my face was pale, or more like lifeless. I never had seen my face with such sadness, not even after my mother's death I had this features; I couldn't recognize myself, it was completely different from the image it had in the morning; it hurt so much, I couldn't keep watching it so I did something about it. I smashed the mirror into pieces.
I went to the living room and in a corner I dropped myself on the floor; resting my head in one of my hands while looking at the ring. Why?, I kept asking myself that question but I didn't find an answer. Out of all people, why you? This was so wrong, this couldn't be happening. I felt so hopeless. I curled up into a ball on the floor, hugging myself, protecting myself, and hoping this would be solved in the morning. All was in vain. You never called and when I tried to call you, you never answered. I felt desperate, felt so down that I didn't go to school; I didn't want people to see me in this state. Also I didn't want to run into you, after all you clearly told me that.
Days passed and I didn't feel any better; all the opposite. During the day I saw your face everywhere, every inch in my apartment made me think about you; during the night, the past haunted me, especially the memories of that day; night after night I had nightmares, the next worst than the previous; I was scared, I was distressed, I was……alone.
Really, how could I keep going like this when everything I had was taken away from me? How could anyone afford this kind of loss again? Life didn't have any meaning now that you weren't by my side. I missed your laugh, I missed your smile, I missed everything about you. I lost all the will to live.
I couldn't bear it anymore; I had to let this out before 'doing it'. I took some papers, a pen and then I began to write. The first letter was for Mai, after all she was my friend and I felt I owed her an apology, when I finished I folded it and put it in an envelope. The next one was for you. Even if you didn't feel the same for me now, I had to tell you how I felt, with that thought in mind, I began to write.
I paused and then I wrote again.
"Sorry, To Fujino Seito Kaichou-sama.
I know you must be surprised and perhaps disgusted by reading this letter but please, read it to the end. Feel free to throw it away afterwards if it is such a nuisance to you; but I really have to say this. I LOVE YOU. I love you with all my heart, with my life, with my soul. I'll love you 'til the end of time. Even after all this pain I've suffered with your departure I don't hate you. I can't. You know why? Because you made me forget how to hate and taught me how to forgive, how to love. How can I hate when I've forgotten such emotion? How to do it? And even if I still remembered how it was like, I could never hate you. You gave me everything I was always denied to have. I can only thank you for that. It meant the world to me, even if it was for a short time. Thank you for all those happy moments we shared together. Thanks for all those sweet words you once told me. Thanks for all the teasing; hard to believe but I enjoyed every minute of it. Thanks for your caring touches and passionate kisses. Thanks for LOVING ME.
I suppose you hate me now for making this declaration even when you asked me not to be in your way again, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. But don't worry; I'll make sure to never cross in your path again, so you will be at ease.
I love you Shizuru, and I hope you'll be happy.
I put the pen down, folded the letter and put it in an envelope. I wrote your name on it, then I went to prepare everything; I was ready, this pain would end soon and my life with it.
It didn't take much time, it was faster than expected. I saw a photo of yours one last time and then I looked at the ring which I never let go off my hand since the day you placed it there. I clenched it and rested my hand on my chest, over my heart. I smiled while whispering your name and closing my eyes for eternity.
Silence. I was rounded with complete silence. Only my breathing could be heard. Also I was surrounded with darkness. I couldn't see anything, but for some reason I wasn't afraid of this place. My body felt light but my heart felt heavy and warm.
Yes, it was because of that. Even in here I feel the same for you, it will never change, not in a thousand years, this feeling will never change.
I wondered why I was in this place; it wasn't heaven but it wasn't hell either. I had my eyes closed, thinking. Then I realized why I was here; why I couldn't go anywhere.
I became a Memory.
Hope you liked it. Remember that this was a "worst case scenario".
Maybe I'll edit it because I feel I forgot some of ideas.
I'll let you know if I re-write it.
Thanks for reading and don't forget to review.
See you around