Disclaimer: I own nothing. So there's really no need to sue.
Summary: Raven and Chelsea meet at a party two years after their break up.
What I Really Meant to Say
They had been apart for almost two years now. Somedays it didn't feel that long. Somedays it felt longer. Losing Chelsea had left a gaping hole in Raven's heart. Every minute since the breakup was torture to Raven.
Raven hadn't seen her since that day. They had been planning to go to the same college so they could be together. Plus they had both agreed that a long distance relationship wouldn't work out and that's not really what they wanted. They'd broken up about a week before high school graduation. Something about how Chelsea thought Raven was in love with Eddie. To Raven it was a ridiculous argument.
The next week they had graduated after ignoring each other through school. They were off to different colleges. Raven was going to NYU. She heard that Chelsea had "followed" her to New York. Personally she thought Chels was probably in Miami. She used to want to go to college there.
There were many failed attempts on Raven's part to pick up the phone and take back all the horrible things she had said. To forgive all the horrible things Chelsea had said. To beg for one more chance. No. Her pride was too big for that. Plus she had no way of getting in touch with the girl. She was off at college. She had an unknow number (Raven knew this for a fact for she had searched endlessly for any sign of existance) and a new life.
Spring break had finally arrived. Spring break meant parties. Parties that Chelsea wouldn't be at even if she was in New York or attending NYU. Chels had never been fond of loud parties.
Raven was satanding at the punch bowl at some random party. She wasn't expecting it to happen.
She should have known her luck would run out eventually. As she turned from the bowl she found herself lost in those brown eyes that had haunted her dreams for so long.
She was standing so close that Raven could hear her breathing...even over the party noises (maybe it was hers..she couldn't be sure). Could feel the heat coming from her body. The smallest movement would have resulted in brushing up against one another. If that happened, Raven was afraid she wouldn't be able to control herself.
It took me by surprise
When I saw you standing there
Close enough to touch
Breathing the same air
Her hair was pulled back except for a few strands framing her face. She had grown quite a bit, exceeding Raven's height of 5'3 by at least four inches. She wore blue jeans that rose low and a black tank top that rode high showing an amazingly toned mid drift. Her feet were clad in black converse.
"Hey," the auburn haired girl said, seemingly unsure of herself. Her voice had gotten deeper with age.
Raven was slipping farther into memory lane. Eventually the memories faded enough for her to return to the present. She bit her tongue and nodded her greeting, hoping it would be enough. Hoping Chelsea would get the hint and leave Raven to wallow in her sorrows.
"How have you been?" Chelsea asked.
Raven sighed inwardly. She had had this conversation many times before in her mind. Sometimes she cried. Sometimes she cursed at Chelsea. But it always ended the same "I'm still in love with you". She couldn't seem to do it with Chelsea right in front of her though.
Raven heard words coming from her mouth...words she doesn't remember forming.
"Just fine." It was a lie. A lie that came out colder than she had intended it to.
asked me how I'd been
I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine
Oh, but baby I was lying
Those beautiful brown eyes looked away. She sighed sadly.
"That's good." she responded, slowly turning and breaking what was left of Raven's heart.
Everything seemed in slow motion around her as Raven came to a painful realization...this was it. This was the moment that would determine whether she spent the rest of her life alone, the shell of the person she once was. Or if she spent her life with Chelsea. Her words jabbed her in the chest, causing her to act.
She reached out to touch Chelsea's shoulder. To turn her around. However, she stopped short, letting her hand fall to her side (damn pride). It was already too late...Chelsea always was a fast walker...must have been all of the vegetables she ate. She fought back tears as she watched Chelsea walk away.
I really meant to say And as you walked away
Is I'm dyin' here inside
And I miss you more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby, here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
That's what I really meant to say
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife
Cut so deep it hurt
I held back the tears
Held on to my pride and watched you go
I wonder if you'll ever know
And as you walked away
Raven stalked to the bathroom. She felt sick. She barely got the door locked before she fell to her knees and retched in the toilet. She curled into a ball on the floor and sobbed.
She remembered the first time they made love. Chelsea had been sweet and gentle and slow...so unlike Devon. Raven had never been with another girl before or with someone whom she had loved. Chelsea had never been with someone who had loved her. It was a new experience for them and both were scared senseless.
Afterwards they had cried. Cried because it had been so perfect even though there is supposed to be no such thing. Then Chelsea said something Raven will never forget: "I will always love you. No matter what happens and no matter what i say. You're the best part of me. I will always be yours." Then they had fallen asleep, Raven with her head on Chelsea's chest and wrapped in her arms.
She jumped up so fast she almost hit her head on the sink. She fiddled with the lock for several seconds before finally yanking the door open. She immediately looked towards where she last say Chels disappear to. Nothing.
Someone actually had the nerve to stop her and ask if she was ok. It was then that she realized that she was still crying. She shook the person off. She had to find Chelsea.
She finally spotted her waking out the front door, head down. Raven cried out her name but it was drowned out by the noises of the party. She ran for the door. Someone smacked her so hard she went sprawling on the floor. She hopped up and continued on her way,
She finally reached the door and yanked it open crying "CHELSEA!!" to the retreating form of Chelsea's car. Raven took a few steps wanting to run after the car. Her legs gave out on her again. She fell to her knees and whispered a goodbye to the only person who ever really held her heart.
tbc? good? bad? undecided?
quick note: i know that raven is taller than 5'3 but i wanted chelsea to have grown a good 4 inches taller than raven but i didn't want her to be super tall. so in my mind rae was 5'3 when they were together and chels was 5'4 then chels grew 4 inches in the 2 years they were apart. got it?