It was a hot, sunny day. Not that it mattered much to Mayuri. Such feeble things were not of interest. What he needed to do was research. Research until he could figure out the secrets of the Universe itself and know everything that there was to know.

Of course, he'd figured out how many things worked. Humans, shinigami, Quinchy, even himself had all been put up to the test, measured and filed.

What intrigued him, though, were the processes that were so natural to others. That they never thought about them as worthy of the greatest effort put into their research. Like thinking. Laughter, amusement, feelings. And especially one feeling that intrigued him most, the strongest of al physical feelings: the orgasm.

He didn't know much about it.

Such small things as physical pleasure had never interested him. The time he could have given for pursuing females had been given to study. The time to find easy women had been spent on research. Women had never jumped on him – but even if they would have, he'd have shunned them away and given the energy for his projects.

All things have a time. It was the time for pleasure to be studied. Not on himself, of course. He needed a subject. Nemu was not good – she was in great part created by him and he didn't know if she would react the same as a normal female. She seemed very put down by his unwillingness to study the matter with her, but she needed to understand he couldn't waste his research on a being that might not be normal from this point of view.

He went out to the gathering place of his Division and searched for somebody good enough.

He saw her: a new girl, fresh out of the Academy, on her first day into the Gotei-13 and as normal as they got, but pretty.

"You," he said, impassibly. "Come with me."

The entire Division went quiet.

"Huh?" she said, a bit lost.

"Go with the captain," a young man said, in a dead, pale voice.

She gulped and walked very slowly towards him. Mayuri felt like rolling his eyes.

"Quicker, please."

He turned away and started walking towards his laboratory, knowing that she would follow. There was no low-power being in the Seireitei that would dare refuse him. Not if it knew what it was good for it.

He walked down the stairs to the "quiet laboratory". He didn't call it that because it was peaceful and serene, as one might expect, but because nobody could hear a scream from there. Outside, it would seem that all was quiet, not a hint of anything going down below. Hence, the name.

"Captain Mayuri," she dared, slowly, "what will happen now?"

"I needed a test subject for some experiments," he answered and she gulped.

"What experiments?"

"Pleasure. I still have yet to understand why the sexual pull seems to mean so much for intelligent beings. It is the strongest impulse, they say. Stronger than even hunger."

"I've… heard so, too," she said in a quiet voice. Was this just a masked way of taking her to his bed? Or would he really experiment on it? How would he do it?… She hadn't yet had the time to hear about everything the captain did.

Mayuri opened a door and stepped through it, letting her trot behind him like a lost puppy. She closed the door and jumped a bit when it locked itself.

"Simple measure, so I wouldn't be disturbed here," Mayuri explained, bored. "Get ready, please."

She looked around the room. It was large enough, with some computers, a few chairs and… a chair with restraints on it, that seemed to be a cross between a gynaecologist's chair, a dentist's chair and a torture chair.

"Get ready, please," Mayuri said.

"H-how?… er?…"

"Get undressed," he said a bit impatiently.

She slid out of her clothes, feeling quite awkward. And indeed, who wouldn't?…

"On the chair," he pointed to the weird chair she'd noticed before. She slowly got on and placed her feet on either side, into the supports. Surprisingly, the chair also had hand supports, so she slowly placed her hands there, too.

Mayuri went to the computer and sat down. The girl relaxed a bit.

"Name," he demanded.

"Takahashi Izanami."

"Age."

"28."

"Age of start of sexual activity."

"Errr… 17."

"How is your sexual desire, compared to others? Low, medium, high?"

"Errr… high," she replied, embarrassed. But the weird part of the situation was that her new Captain didn't seem at all impressed by anything. Not by her staying there in an uncomfortable way, not looking at her when she answered "high", not once did his eyes look at her chest while she took off her blouse or at anything else when she removed her undergarments. He might as well have ignored her and mailed the questions.

"Any unusual desires?" he asked.

"Not that I know of," she replied.

"What turns you on?"

"I…err.. that's a very personal question."

He spared her a look that said "I don't give a damn." And well, it wasn't as if the other questions were less personal.

"Right," she muttered. "Erm… kissing my neck, touching my breasts, erm… blow jobs. But who doesn't like blow jobs, eh?…"

He gave her another look. Right. He didn't like blow jobs. He probably never had one.

"Anything else?"

"Not in particular, although many other things are… pleasurable."

Mayuri introduced the data in the computer. Now, he could start experimenting. If anything else came up, he would have this recorded by the cameras in the room.

"If there is anything that you consider important, tell me. It might be useful for the research," he explained. Then he pushed a button and restraints popped up, holding both her hands and feet down.

"What?! What is this!" She cried out in panic. "Hey, I was willing to stay, you don't need to tie me up, hey! HEY!"

"If you were willing to remain there, then restraints mean nothing," he said simply. "Also, we are pretty much underground here. Don't worry. Nobody can hear you scream, so if you feel that you must do it…"

"This is so fucked up," she said, struggling.

Mayuri went to her and ran his finger between her legs.

"Is this the normal wetness and heat?" he asked.

"What?" she asked, stopping her struggle. Useless.

"Is this the normal wetness and heat?" he repeated, impatient.

"I guess so. It's not like I touch myself to check all the time," she grumbled. "And I sure as hell am not turned on."

He reached a hand and cupped her breast.

"What reaction does this produce?"

She looked at him blankly.

"Not much of an erotic one. Are you really that clueless about this?"

"Explain everything that you feel needs explaining," he replied, annoyed. He didn't like being called clueless… even if he was.

"It's more than this," she answered. "For women, especially, there has to be a something, a feel to it, not just a mechanical gesture. Although that counts, too. And I'd have to be more relaxed. Like I am after a date. And in a bed. This whole thing feels weird and unpleasant, how am I supposed to think of pleasure in this situation?"

"Relaxation," Mayuri muttered, getting away from her and searching through his office.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not really wanting to know.

"Searching for some calming pills I had around here."

"Oh, jeez, that might help, but it won't be natural. You want the research to be natural, right? Normal conditions? Not drug induced."

He stopped. She'd counted on that. She did not want to know what he'd have fed her.

"Quite right," he answered. "How much effect does the mechanical gesture only have?"

"Umm…"

He reached a hand and started pinching her right nipple and fondling with her breast. It was softer than she'd have imagined.

"Turn to the other one as well," she sighed. Might as well help him along, since it basically and literally was her pleasure and that would mean she could leave sooner. "Run your hands on my body."

He complied. It felt odd, being touched all over for the sake of science.

"You might want to write this down," she said. "But this experiment has an appealing perverted nature."

"What?" he asked, stopping for a moment.

"The mad scientist, working like a slave to give a woman pleasure so he can research it. Very… strange-fantasy like."

He touched her between the legs again.

"The wetness has increased," he said. She could've slapped him for the comment. She settled for a sigh.

"It's a weird, perverted thing. I'd rather get out of here, but since I am here… might as well make the best out of it. Kiss my breast or something."

He leaned over her and pecked her breast. She rolled her eyes.

"Open mouth, insert nipple. Use your tongue, suck, use your teeth easily."

And he followed her instructions precisely. Except when it came to the teeth instruction.

"Easily, dammit! Easily!" she roared in pain, buckling under him and trying to get away, but being restrained.

"Right," he said, licking the affected area.

He got up, turned his back at her and seemed to be doing something. She watched him curiously, her nipple still aching. He seemed to be getting the point otherwise, though. His hands moved around his face for awhile and when he turned, she could see he had taken his mask off. She hadn't known it was a mask. But apparently, he was human. Blue hair and yellow eyes and not that bad looking.

"You're weird," she said.

"The mask was not letting me use my facial muscles too well," he explained and returned to kissing her breasts.

"Hmmm… it is better," she said. Then there was a slight intrusion between her legs. "Am I wet?" she said, sarcastically.

"Yes," he answered.

"Next thing you can do is give me a blow job," she smirked. "Works wonders."

Might as well make the best of the situation, no?… He didn't seem the type to force himself on her… Maybe he'd get some dildos and try them on her and…

He retreated. Completely. Went to his computer.

"Hey, you gonna leave me like this?" she asked, displeased. If she could have risen from the chair and slap him, she would have done so, to express her displeasure. He pressed a few buttons and she heard something moving in the chair. "What are you doing?"

She looked between her legs and she saw a thing in the shape of a mouth with the tongue out rising. 'You've got to be kidding me,' she thought.

"I couldn't prepare anything for the upper part of the body, since I did not know what it was supposed to do," he explained. "But I found some documents on this."

He went back to the chair and pushed the thing against her. Then he turned it on and it started working on her like a real mouth. Wetness included.

"It's pretty good," she replied. "Definitely. Think I can borrow it from time to time?"

"No," he answered, annoyed.

"I was joking," she breathed, but her voice started sounding off and her breathing got ragged. "You're… insane."

She started losing her composure while he watched, a weird expression in his eyes. She deeply hoped it was just scientific excitement, because if it was arousal, she could just imagine him taking off his pants, kicking the machine aside and… oh, maybe sexual arousal was better…

The artificial mouth went away and she groaned. He had a knack for stopping things at the wrong time.

"How is that?" he asked.

"You stopped it at a very annoying time," she answered, glaring and breathing raggedly. "I feel tempted to break loose and kick you for it. Or molest you."

There was that look in his eyes again. But it went away quickly.

"Put it back," she half-ordered, half-whined. He went back to the computer and pressed a few more buttons. Then a metal thing came out and she looked at it, horrified. It didn't look like anything she wanted inside of her. But then her Captain opened a drawer and got out a small dildo.

"I want to see what effect this produces in comparison to a… blow job," he explained.

He attached it to the metal bar and positioned it. With a bit more controlling from the computer, the thing was put in motion and Izanami… well… acted like a woman would when her pleasure spots are hit. Mayuri watched in scientific curiosity, wondering mildly how such a small thing would make a person go as insane as that. Sure, he had watched some documentation from the real world (aka porn movies, to all who didn't get the reference) but he had realized soon that many things were faked there. He had expected a much milder response from a real person. Instead, he got a more intense one. And, to his great surprise, he was getting another response, which he tried to push away from his mind, but found that, unlike at other times, he couldn't.

Izanami was shamelessly manifesting herself in all her shivering, moaning glory when the weird contraption was pulled away from her. She looked up, cursing loudly at her captain, but he didn't seem to mind. And she saw immediately that his clothes had been taken off. 'Probably not to hinder him,' she thought. Mayuri had a certain look in his eyes and she was sure now that she wasn't mistaking it. He stepped up to her.

"Anything you would recommend?" he asked.

"Yes," she breathed. "let me off this chair and let's take the floor. It's a lot more comfortable and I can show you a lot of things that way."

'Like a fantasy gone wild,' she thought to herself as he removed the restraints on her.

She jumped off the chair and he opened up a cupboard taking out some blankets. He even had blankets! This really was surreal.

He threw the blankets on the floor and stood on them, looking proud and cold and arrogant. She moved forth by force of weirdness and passion and decided to show him just what exactly a blow job was.

He nearly kicked her off at first, probably distrusting, but as soon as her mouth touched him, he gave up on the gesture. To her credit, she did her best. She sent a look up to him every now and then and his eyes seemed to lose their focus and their coldness. He threw his head backwards and let a moan escape him. That was when she stopped. For revenge. Because he had stopped on her every time and she was still in pain.

"Continue," he ordered.

"Of course," she answered, grinning like that cat that got the cream. "But first, please lie down."

He looked at her coldly.

"Please lie down," she repeated in a near-order. "Relax. Enjoy. And let go of that pompousness, you'll be better off."

He glared slightly at her and lied down, relaxing his neck. She watched him for a few seconds and the thought struck her: she would be his first. And in some ways, he seemed almost like a child. A gruesome child who will kill a frog to see what it's made of, but a child nevertheless. When it came to some parts, because she was sure he was quite capable in others. But something seemed different, almost as if he was confused. She was quite sure that before he wouldn't have waited as patiently for her as he was then.

But just as she thought that, his head turned and he spoke, "I am waiting."

Perhaps it was the nearly soft tone, but she could feel something had definitely changed. For some reason, she smiled very warmly at him and replied, "I know."

She kissed him briefly on the lips, leaving him surprised to the point of shock. And then, she did continue. She straddled him and took complete control over him, just as he'd allowed her to. From the sense of warmness towards him that she was suddenly feeling, she actually treated him like she had any of her lovers.

Mayuri just lied on the floor, overwhelmed. His mind felt weirdly empty and light and the pleasure was moving through his entire body – thing which he had not expected. A smile settled on his lips and he gave in to the feeling, tossing his head back in a long moan. He convinced the girl to let him on top and he started moving on his own accord, gathering her into his arms and kissing her.

He had never believed that he would do that – but suddenly, he was doing it. And she had tears in her eyes for a reason he couldn't understand, but she looked beautiful and gone in some other paradise than him, but in a paradise nonetheless.

He kept on moving without a stop, feeling that with every gesture the pleasure grew, dragging him more and more into it, in a way he had never believed possible before. Did all humans feel that?… It suddenly stopped being such a scientific question.

"Oh, God," the girl breathed next to his ear, clinging to him. He smiled at her, listening to her soft moans.

The feeling washed over him more and more, blinding him in light… and then it started retreating slowly,

At some point, he just slipped out of her and lied on his back, with her on top of him.

"That was… extraordinary," she breathed. "I never… did you… oh, gods…"

He looked at the ceiling, his mind surprisingly empty and pleasant because of that. Had he been stupid for so long?… Suddenly some things had become so clear to him, as if his former mind was below and while he could easily use it, he now could understand much more.

"I've never felt anything like that before," she said, suddenly. "Did you do something?"

"Nothing," he replied softly.

"Was that heaven?" she breathed.

"I don't know," he answered. "My mind feels very clear. And quiet."

She smiled at him and he realized with a shock that she was beautiful. He'd never considered it before. Not when it came to women or, God forbid, art.

"You look much better without that mask on, Mayuri… Mayuri-sama."

"Hm," he answered, starting to feel a bit confused and unstable. Something very odd had happened. And he didn't feel the same anymore. The quietness was scaring him.

"Would you kill me if…"

He looked at her as she talked.

"Would you kill me if I said that I loved you?" she asked, slowly. "I don't know why. I… I…"

"Shh," he answered. "Would you mind if I asked you to leave? You talk too much now and I feel strange."

She stared at him as if slapped on the face, before her expression softened and became sad.

"I'll leave," she answered, getting up and picking up her clothes. Her eyes became glassy and he looked at her, unsure.

"Don't cry," he said. "We'll talk later, when I'll be on my feet. My head is swirling and I don't understand…"

He wanted to say "anything", but he stopped himself. She looked at him and gave him a soft smile that had a meaning he understood very clearly: "you won't call me later, but it is alright… even if it makes me sad". She dressed quickly and left.

He got up slowly, locked the door behind her and sat in his chair, holding his head in his arms.

"What happened?" he whispered, feeling caught in between something and something.

The next day, at the captain's meeting, Mayuri was late and the others were starting to become impatient. Hitsugaya was looking blankly at Yamamoto, Ukitake was coughing and Soifon was considering proposing to start early.

That was when a thoughtful man with blue hair and yellow eyes, dressed like a captain, came in, his head bowed low.

"Who are you?" Kyoraku asked and the man's head snapped up.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"He's wearing Mayuri's uniform!" Soifon said.

"That's pretty lame, if there's anybody who wants to infiltrate us," Kyoraku noticed. "We all know each other quite well."

"But…" Mayuri said, snapping alert. "If you know me so well, you'll realize that I am Mayuri. Some of you must have seen me without the mask!"

"Hm," Hitsugaya answered. "We might have. And your voice must be the same. But let me tell you this: there's no mistake, that is definitely not Mayuri's style or reiatsu."

"What?!" Mayuri asked. "It's me, you idiots!"

And then, as Hitsugaya, Soifon and Kyoraku drew their weapons, he gulped and took a step back.

Oh, yeah. This was going to be a blast.