The Amazing Author's Note: This will be my first purly humor fic, and I know it doesn't seem very funny right now, but I have plenty of ideas for it. XD
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, blah blah blah, characters of my own, blah blah blah... you get the picture.
The Problems with Nonattachment.
Masters and Knights, and even Padawans rustled around the great entrance hall to the Temple in their flowing robes, conferring nervously with each other. Younglings were gathered at doorways, though they were too young to understand the importance of the matter being discussed at that very moment in the Council chambers above. Groups of Jedi traded whispered theories on the turnout, while more simply stared at the door, willing the debaters to get done quickly.
The massive door creaked, and every head snapped to attention on the figures that emerged. The Council members walked out slowly to stand before them, and Master Yoda hobbled to the front on his walking stick.
"Decided, we have, that on the matter of attachment, too restricting, the Order has been. As of today, to marry, form families, and all subsequent matters, the Jedi will be allowed."
Dead silence filled the Temple until an exuberant whoop came from the mouth of one teenage apprentice. Then everyone else followed suit in cheering and rushing about. Quite a few rushed into significant others' arms, while over half got out portable callers and started dialing numbers. Conversations like the following began to be heard.
"Hey honey, you'll never guess what happened-"
"Gala, you can come on out here now, it's okay-"
"Richard, get that scorpion figure away from your sister's Barbie, I'll be there-"
"Am I to understand," began Master Gallia, looking at the others incredulously, "that all these Jedi have been having secret relationships?"
Master Windu began edging away from the group toward the speeder bay, but Master Yoda only smiled up at her. "Yes. In fact, propose I do, a gathering of sorts tonight, for the families."
Most of the Masters were dispersing from the Temple, either to go report the news or to take unofficial free time that had been sorely restricted with the war. Yoda started off toward his quarters, humming some little tune. Master Gallia shrugged went to find her old phone book.
The cooks had gone all out, perhaps expecting many different turns of events in their infinite forethought. From the looks of the food, they had planned for picky kids, romantic outings, and a very wild party. The head of the kitchen had even hauled out an ancient drum of Portellian whiskey, though no one knew whether to attribute this to the event or his particular fondness of it.
6-o-clock drew near. And the families began to arrive. Obi Wan wandered around the room looking at new arrivals and marveling at what had been kept hidden for so long. Not only did many of the Order seem to have partners, but quite a few had children. They seem well enough behaved, at least. He thought. Then the weirdness started.
Master Ki Adi Mundi walked up to him, followed by five women. They varied in looks and moods, from tall and sultry to small boned and pissed off.
"Ah, good evening Master Obi Wan," Said Ki. "Did you bring a significant other with you tonight?"
"Well, the night is still young. Perhaps you'll get lucky."
Obi Wan gave a strained smile and asked "And who are these ladies, Ki?"
"These are my wives."
"As in the plural?"
"Oh, yes. Here, Timov, line up please. From left to right, Master Obi Wan, are Timov, Selah, Nile, Croce, Atalaya, and Tonin. Dears, this is my good colleague, Master Obi Wan Kenobi."
The women all bowed in turn, though while Selah kept her eyes demure and others were curiously looking around them, Timov barely inclined her head and glared at Ki.
"Um, I'll be seeing you later Master Mundi. I see an old acquaintance over there." Obi Wan hurried off in another direction as behind him Timov started whispering furiously to one of the others, maybe Croce. Obi was just getting out of hearing range when he saw Alaya Secura coming up the Temple steps with her family in tow.
She wasn't accompanied by a man, but three children around the ages of four, seven, and eleven were walking behind her. Alaya was holding the hand of the youngest, who was trying to wander off constantly. The other two seemed to be in the middle of an argument.
"Stupid stupid-head, Nerf's can't fly."
"Slimy cootie-head, yes they can. I saw them. On the holo."
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"Richard, Ciria, knock it off! You are going to behave tonight!"
Maybe, thought Obi Wan, I was a little premature in guessing behavior. He quickened his pace in order to avoid them, and ran right into Master Windu. His wife was short and pudgy and did not seem happy.
"Hello Master Windu, I didn't know you were married." said Obi Wan.
Mace smiled thinly back at him. "It seems there is a lot we didn't know about our colleagues. Did you see Ki Adi back there-?"
His wife interrupted him. "Mace, are you going to gossip all day or are you going to introduce me? Who is this man? One of your co-workers?"
Master Windu turned immediately to his wife. "Yes dear, this is Master Obi Wan Kenobi. He -"
"He looks like a farmer. Don't you people have rules concerning appearance?"
"Well dear, it's perfectly -"
"No, never mind. I want you to show me around this ghastly excuse for architecture. Where is your office? Now on Jared 4, that is a fine example of cultural building."
Mace hurried off with a quick 'see you later' to Obi Wan. This seemed to be proving so far that his staying out of a relationship was a good thing. He turned around, preparing to go toward the dining area as it was nearly time for the meal, and jumped about ten feet into the air upon seeing his apprentice eating the face of the less amphibian Naboo Senator.
"Anakin! What the hell are you doing?!" he yelled. The two pulled apart somewhat reluctantly, and Anakin smiled hugely at his Master. Obi Wan wondered if that whoop earlier hadn't been his.
"Master, you know Padme. Isn't it great that we don't have to hide anymore?"
Obi Wan stuttered trying to find words for what he was thinking, then thought better of it when he saw Alaya's youngest nearby, and he shut his mouth. Fortunately Padme stepped forward to take control of the situation, knowing full well that Anakin was not able to handle something like this smoothly.
"Master Kenobi, Anakin and I have been involved for some time now. We only did not tell you for fear of your standing in the Order should we be found out."
Well, what could he say to that? He shook his head weakly and motioned then through the doors to the dining area, then turned to go after them. Barely six and I already have the mother of all headaches. That whiskey better be good.
Well, next chap the real fun will star, and we get to meet Yoda's wife. Bwahahahaha ...
Please reveiw. Seriously, I am working on that nuclear squirell. You won't stand a chance.