Dr. Gregory House limped with exaggerated agitation today, just as he might every other day, but today he had more reason than usual to feel pissed off. Dripping with cynicism, House walked past the staff without so much as acknowledging their existence, which he does everyday but today he hopes they feel it…
"Fifty dollars for anyone who finds the cure for the recurring symptom of artificial, hallmark sentimentality," he states pouring a cup of coffee in the Diagnostics Office.
Cameron quips "Oh come on House. Valentines Day is so much fun. You should try to at least enjoy everyone's cheerful spirits."
"Or I could jump right off a cliff and spare myself the idiocy. Ironic, no???"
Ever the critic, Foreman adds "He just doesn't to see everyone else happy with another person because this excludes him. Show of hands, who has a date tonight?"
Cameron's, Chase's, and Foreman's hands all went up leaving House to roll his eyes at their childish pride.
"Yeah, well at least I can count on one ugly boss with an inordinate amount of cleavage to bask share "loneliness," if that's what you want to call my situation.
Cameron gently suggests "Surely there is someone you'd like to spend Valentine's with…Come on and tell us who it is. Everyone wants someone, it's only human."
House frowns. "Then by your logic we should all be miserably searching the entire amount of time we spend searching for this person to fill the void, so to speak. Sorry, I don't really buy the whole have to be with someone in order to validate one's existence thing…"
Chase speaks for the first time, "No that's not it at all. What she's saying is that people wish. It's natural to want to be with someone sometimes. And yes, it is rather interesting to ponder who you'd want given your existential arrogance and all…"
"Words from the wise, I'm sure. While this has been very entertaining, you all have job security to protect. And me? I'll just mingle amongst the other swooning buffoons in this place until I find some semblance of decent company."
"You mean Wilson's office?" pipes Foreman.
"Well duh." House leaves.
Wilson dismissed his phone call as he saw House barge in his office.
"You know one of these days you're going to come in on someone and regret it."
"Unless I see you naked, not likely" House remarks.
Wilson sighs and brushes this comment off as with so many others, "So how has your Valentine's Day been so far?"
House just stares blankly at Wilson's genuine interest in his experience and finally replies "Infinitely negligible. Just like any other blessed day for us non-Jews."
Wilson frowns as he says "Was that necessary? I was just trying to make conversation."
House says "Ok. Fair enough. But why that? Why not the weather, a patient, or that hideously dressed woman up in administration?"
"I was actually going to ask what you have planned for tonight. I thought maybe we should go out to dinner," Wilson asks shuffling through some files feigning the ease of his suggestion.
House shrugs and says "Fine, but what has that got to do with Valentine's Day? And why is this any different than our other nights together. Chinese or Pizza, by the way?"
"No, House, I was thinking more along the lines of a nice restaurant and an actual menu with more than two choices to-go. It was just a suggestion, never mind."
"Don't back out now Wilson, I'll let you know if I can clear my schedule for it by lunch today, which you're paying for fyi."
"Fine. See you then."
"Bye." And with that note, House made a hasty exit back to his office in hopes of avoiding Cuddy and thus work in general. House propped up a seat in his office and played around with the whimsical items strewn about his office while he waited for his team to return.
"House. Wake up."
House opened his eyes to see his three eager doctors sitting in the adjacent room around the meeting table. House grudgingly got up and walked through the glass door and joined them.
"What does it mean when someone you know asks you to dinner on Valentine's Day?" House begins.
Cameron jumps right in with "Well it could mean that that person enjoys your company and wants to share a nice evening together."
"Next. We're looking for something a little more vague."
Foreman crosses his arms and says "Do we actually not get cases anymore or are you just doing this to prolong our stay with you?"
"Ouch. I see someone has a huge stick up his ass today. Thing must be a full grown tree by now since its there all the time. Continue diagnosing, people."
Chase clicks his pen while stretching. "It could mean that this person has an attraction to you and wants to create intimacy. It's called dating, House. You should try it."
"The wits in this room are absolutely intimidating. Keep it up and some day you might be my boss…psshh. That's too funny," House mocks.
Cameron smiles and asks "So who is it that's asking you?"
"Hypothetical scenario. Just asking."
Foreman muses "House doesn't just do anything. Someone asked him."
Chase laughs and says "Yeah, probably one who was paid if you know what I mean."
Foreman smirks "No, House doesn't pay to date. He has someone legit…as much as I hate to admit the possibility."
Cameron chides "Come on guys leave it alone. He'll tell us about it in a roundabout way after its over."
They get up, ready to leave for the day. House stays in his office looking across the balconies into Wilson's office. He sits and watches Wilson work. He regards his friend in a completely new light, studying his movements, his soft, brown hair, and his lips as he advises people of how to improve their lives.