Title: Our Choice of Wardrobe
Anime: Death Note
Pairing: Mello / Misa Amane
Warning: fluff, quack and lots of OOCness
Summary: Mello got into Misa's nerves and Misa got into his nerves when they were both sporting the same black shirt in the exact same day. Everybody makes fun of them so they decided that it could only be resolved by forcing each other to take the shirt off even if they have strip each other naked.
You wear what I wear, bitch
Unfuckingbelievable is the word for today. The expression both crossed their minds when they have a creepy scene together from Lindsay Lohan's movie Freaky Friday. For the record, Misa is not Lindsay and Mello is not her dream boy Chad Michael. The said scene is the one where Lindsay met a girl who was wearing the same cool shirt in school. That is what happened exactly to Misa and Mello that day. It was the black shirt that cursed them blind. Misa bought it because she thought it shows her shapely body. Mello bought it because it was the only decent shirt in the store he went to and he liked the way it felt against his skin. When they were minding their own business, Misa skipping for her date with Raito while Mello is munching on his ninth chocolate bar that day, they bumped into each other and then that's when they realized how much they wished to vanish. Misa's eyes rounded and so did Mello's.
For a long time they just stood there. Misa immediately remembered the Lindsay movie and thought that it was weird since it was supposed to be a girl who is wearing that kind of shirt. She suddenly burst out laughing when she realized that Mello looks like a girl anyway so it doesn't really matter. It was one stupid mistake to laugh at a hot-tempered genius who is a member of a leading Mafia group. Mello's face scowled the instant he could tell Misa was mocking him. He bit on his chocolate bar and gave her his winning death glare. Misa shut up quickly and covered her mouth and then she said nothing to apologize. Mello found that quite disrespectful, not that he cares about respect, only the kind that should be and must be given to him at all times. Look at her, airhead super model with screws lose in her ass, thinking she could get away with this. Look at him, pretty boy who thinks he looks so tough just because of that burn in his face and the way he could death glare like crazy. They were now measuring each other like real opponents in the battle arena.
He finally relaxed a little when she managed to speak to him politely. Misa smiled and pointed at him. "You're not supposed to be wearing that."
Mello was back to angry mode again. "The fuck did you say?"
"I said that's a girl's shirt, Mello-kun."
"Really?" Mello faked concern. "If I give a damn, I would have shoved what I am holding right now at your mouth but it would be a waste of chocolate."
Misa giggled and the sound irritated his ears. "Mello-kun, it's okay. I won't tell. You could just wear it inside-out."
Who the hell does she think she is telling him what he should do? Mello tried to contain himself before he could punch her. "What makes you think it's a girl's shirt, moron?"
Misa showed him her tag located on the hem of the shirt. Mello did not look at it. He does not wish to speak to her anymore. He wanted to take an axe and bludgeoned her as he takes any amount of pleasure from each whack to her head. He wanted that shirt off her ugly body. "You are wearing what I am wearing, bitch. You take it off this instant.
"You are so vulgar and why would I take it off?" Misa put her hands on her waist and scolded him. "Misa-Misa likes this shirt and she is keeping it. I don't need permission from you so go to hell!"
"Do you know who the hell you are talking to, little shit?" Mello stepped an edge closer to look at her steadily in the eye. Misa did not flinch and stared back at him with same intensity.
"You know what, bitch, just fuck off!" Mello pushed her and she fell to the floor. Before Misa could right herself, he was already walking farther away. She let out a frustrated growl and promised to get back at him. She rushed towards him just as he was about to open the door. When he entered, she grabbed him by the arm and they stood there in front of everyone.
They all looked up but nobody spoke. Nobody was able to conceive the perfect idea for such a puzzling phenomena. Matt grinned widely and waved his hand towards Mello and Misa. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Keehl!"
L choked on his coffee and tried not to show the expression of pure, inexplicable amusement in his pale face. Raito turned towards the monitor screen of his computer and was struggling not to suffocate while he tried to stop the uncontrollable fits of laughter. Aizawa and Matsuda tried not to make any eye contact. Soichiro and Watari just shook their heads good-humoredly. Near was flying around his airplane toy when he accidentally threw it across Mello's chest. Matt dropped the grin. Weddy suddenly walked inside the room, holding a can of beer and then as she was about to open it, she turned to see that Mello and Misa were wearing identical shirts. She blinked twice and then finally popped the can open, "You share the same DNA now too, twin Barbies?" then she took a big gulp of beer and sat between Matsuda and Aizawa.
"I have to pee." Matsuda stood up but Mello shot him a death glare that could kill Matsuda's future reincarnations. Aizawa started praying the Our Father and asked the guardian angel to protect his daughter from harm.
"Mello, Misa-chan." L spoke at last as he tried to keep his straight face. He tried to figure out what to say. Then he looked at Raito who looked back at him. And then when both gazes were met, they started to laugh really loud. Raito kicked his feet around madly as he tried to breathe during his fits of laughter. L's head was down and he buried his face in one hand while his other hand was pressed against his stomach. Matt abandoned all cautions he studied since he is Mello's best friend and decided to join along, patting Near on the back to laugh with him but the albino kid was worried how he would get the airplane that landed dangerously on Mello's foot.
Misa was blushing deep scarlet like a red chili pepper submerged in tomato ketchup. She was embarrassed because Raito was laughing at her and she wanted to cry somehow. Mello was beyond reason. If he had a gun now, he would all massacre them in alphabetical order.
When L gasped for breath, he managed to say. "Why are you sharing each other's clothes now, Mello, Misa-chan?"
Weddy sipped on her beer. "They probably share a Malibu house with a big pool and stuff these days. I am not updated with how dolls live in this century."
"Maybe they bought the same shirt by mistake." Soichiro offered the explanation and Misa nodded vigorously at that.
"Maybe Ken was cheating on this Barbie with this Barbie." Weddy pointed at Misa then at Mello. "I don't care who is prettier but I am so not gonna be part of this sorority, Misa-chan, Mello-chan."
Mello was about to strangle Weddy while he watched the light leave her eyes but then he saw movement on the floor below him. He looked down and saw Near crawling to rescue his airplane toy. Before he could reach it, Mello started stomping his feet on it, blurting out angrily. "I HAVE ENOUGH! YOU SHOULD ALL FUCKING DIE! I HATE ALL OF YOU! I HATE THIS STUPID SHIRT! I HATE LOOKING LIKE A GIRL AND HAVE YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS POINT THAT AT MY FACE! FUCK ALL OF YOU!"
"Holy be thy name--"
"I really have to pee, guys!"
"Everybody just calm down! Raito, son, stop pounding your keyboard with your fists and stop laughing now!"
"Let me join you, Aizawa with a dance number." Weddy stood up, obviously drank more than one can of beer and started dancing and singing. "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
"Give us today our daily bread--"
Mello kicked off what's left of the airplane towards Near. The younger boy just stared down at it blankly. Mello scoffed and walked off, grabbing Misa by the arm as he dragged her out of the main room. When the door was shut like thunder just roared at them death wishes, L asked rhetorically. "I wonder if their marriage can deal with this kind of problem now."
To which Weddy answered languidly. "They will probably argue who gets the dog after the divorce is finalized."
"What the hell, Mello! Let go of me!" Misa kept struggling but Mello was far too strong and murderous now. He pushed her to a room and she fell to the ground. Before she could move, Mello placed his foot on her stomach. "I am going to say this only one time: Take. the. shirt. off."
"Go to hell!"
Mello pulled her up by the shoulders and Misa winced in pain when his nails buried themselves on her soft skin. He started trying to take the shirt off her violently. Misa fought back and started hitting him. She was shocked that Mello slapped her. When he did, Misa was even aggravated and bit him on his neck. Mello pushed her away and touched the portion where she bit him. "You filthy slut."
Misa shouted for help and tried to get to the door but Mello put his arms around her from behind and dragged her back to the floor. She started scratching him and Mello kept using force on her. Misa was really frightened. Maybe she should just take the shirt off so they could get over it. But she wanted to show him that she is not some dumb bimbo he could just order and push around. Misa decided to take his shirt off him too. When Mello saw this, he cursed her and pulled on her shirt too. Misa ripped off his sleeve and Mello pulled on the neckline, almost strangling her. They started rolling on the floor, pulling, tugging, kicking and screaming. Both were determined to take each other down and dirty. Mello placed himself on top of her and managed to finally rip off the whole shirt. Misa screamed and scratched him so hard that her fingers were sore and bleeding. She kicked him on his groin and he landed on the floor. This time Misa placed herself on top of him and tried to rip off another sleeve. She met Mello's eyes. They were definitely angry.
There was something else in there too. She wondered what it was but whatever it is, she is eager to respond to it. She didn't realize it was going to happen but she knew it is a possibility. Mello kissed her hard on the mouth and she kissed him back as savagely. They bit on each other's lips and rolled around the ground, both of them wanting to be on top.
Misa gripped a handful of his hair to push him further. Mello started reaching out to remove her bra. Misa slapped him. Mello did not like that so he pulled her by the hair and laid her on her stomach. He started kissing her behind as he lay on top. Misa struggled and successfully pushed him away. When Mello reached for her, they started kissing again. It was violent and unpleasant but the way they touched each other roughly with every intent to kill and terrorize both made them aroused and excited. After an endless struggle, Mello finally softened and Misa relaxed. He allowed her to be on top of him as they explored each other. Misa fondled his hair gently and he returned the favor. They grinded against each other as they remained on the clutches of their mouths. Mello started sipping the blood from Misa's damaged nails earlier and he did a good job with it. Misa traced the burn on his face and caressed it with light kisses. He helped her up so he could pin her against the wall.
Once they were positioned, Misa unzipped his pants to feel his incredible bulge, wanting his heat and length to be plunged inside her in a breathless encounter of passion. It was so natural and it made Misa giggled. Mello did not bother asking. He is tired of reasoning out with her. He just wanted to fuck her now.
"Misa-Misa, Mello-kun?" Matsuda walked inside the room.
The two immediately removed each other's hands from places they were not supposed to be and started faking an argument about the shirts they obviously tore off from each other completely.
Matsuda just offered a nervous smile and pointed at the ceiling. Mello and Misa saw what it was and they could not hide the fact that this is a good time to disappear.
The video camera was laughing at them.
Meanwhile back in the main room, L was sipping his coffee calmly as Matt argued with Soichiro.
"Why can't I see what was happening?" Matt said. "It was just getting better! They were starting to kill each other while breaking stuff."
"I doubt that. It is what is planned but things have ways of changing." Soichiro tried to conceal it. "Anyway, you shouldn't watch it. You and Near should stay right here."
Watari was preparing L with another big strawberry cake. L was smiling curiously the whole time especially when Matsuda who rushed to the bathroom, realized what was going on and stumbled inside to find Mello and Misa going at it. His only wish is that the stupid Matsuda did not point the presence of the camera. Raito shared L's sentiment and just sighed when the show is over. Weddy finished her can of beer and was fumbling for another one.
"Next time maybe they should try wearing the same underwear." Raito said to L. "It would be interesting how that would go."
"Raito!" Soichiro warned him and then Matt suddenly got away and rushed to the monitor screen.
"Wow, they surely wrestled like pros! They are naked and tired and all sweaty and..." Matt squinted his eyes. "Is Mello having a boner?"
L pushed a button to do a close-up. "That's my boy."
Near who was holding the broken pieces of his airplane toy, looked up at Soichiro and mildly asked. "What is a boner?"
Soichiro gulped and the shouted at everyone in the room. "That's it! All of you are grounded in this room. The only adults here are me, Aizawa and Watari."
Weddy and L interjected. "How about us?"
"Do I really have to answer that question?" Soichiro thundered. "Tell Matsuda to take Mello and Misa back here and we will discuss all the privileges that we will cut from all of you."
L grudgingly turned on the speaker. "Attention, kids. Yagami-san is giving us detention. Please return to the main room. Thank you."
They watched as Mello and Misa barely looked at each other as they walked back to the room with Matsuda.
"Sex is the ultimate solution to marriage." Weddy sipped into a new can of beer as she looked at the screen with a soft smile on her lips.
Soichiro took the can of beer and said sternly. "No alcohol in detention."
Aizawa nodded and finished his prayer. "And deliver us from evil. Amen."
This is just chapter one. I do hope that it came out fine. I hope you appreciate this piece of literature, kaitou angel and am greatly hoping I did not frustrate you in any way. To the others, submit review please!