Disclaimer: Alright, the trick has gone on long enough...(sobs) I-I j-just hope y-you can accept me f-for w-w-what I am... (cries like a baby) I-I have to confess... IDon'tOwnNaruto!... Er.. I don't own Naruto... (continues to cry uncontrollably)... NARUHINA FOREVER!
This is a oneshot, so you're aware. Hopefully you'll like it. It's based on "Dreaming of You" By Selena. Oh, by the way, I can't write a lemon for shit, so I don't try. :-)
It was a hot night for the small dark haired girl as she made her way up the stairs. A very hot night actually. Her mission had ended in success and she had promptly lost her jacket, overshirt and other needless clothing to give her white skin some room to breath. Her teammates also shed some of the extra clothing they had been wearing, although neither shed as much as she had. Kiba loved his leather and Shino... she wasn't really sure that Shino actually had a body under his clothing it had been so long since she had seen him without it. Still, they had returned with all haste to Konoha and dispersed quickly. Each needing rest and, more importantly, air conditioning. They could give their reports in the morning.
The stairs to her dwelling seemed endless as of late. Miles of stairs that wound around and around with no end in sight. Exhausted mentally and physically, Hinata sighed as she continued to climb. The brown pattern on the walls seemed as uninviting as ever, and yet somehow this was her home. She hated to admit it but she had grown rather fond of the place over the past six months. While it might not have been the Hyuuga compound by any stretch of the imagination the small apartment complex was more of a home to her now than the compound had ever really been. During the days friendly faces of neighbors greeted her and during the nights she could entertain guests and have quiet time to herself. Somehow it just worked.
Arriving at last on the third story of the building Hinata pulled the rusty key to her door from her coat pocket and slid it in the lock, promptly swinging the door open. She simply threw her coat from her arms to the nearby chair without thinking and headed straight to her bedroom. She needed a shower and pajamas. Food could wait. Sleep could wait. It was far too warm tonight, she was sticky, sweaty and felt all over grimy. She was sure she must have smelled terribly. Yes, a shower was just what Dr. Hinata ordered.
The light of the moon shone through her apartment and lit her way surprisingly well. A clock on the wall told her it was well after midnight and she cringed. 'It seems I'm always up late nowadays. ' She thought to herself with a hint of a smile. But best not to dwell on why or she would never get to the shower. And if the black circles under her eyes would eventually make her look like Gaara of the Desert, so what?
As the lukewarm water of her small shower poured over her body she felt all the stresses of the day fleeing from her mind, leaving her with a peaceful silence she seemed lacking these days. Simple and clean was an excellent way to describe the feeling she had. She was no longer the complicated Hyuuga heiress with low self esteem and an admiration of Uzumaki Naruto, she was simply another kunoichi with a fairly normal life. 'Not that Naruto isn't still a main part of my life...' She mused to herself as she stepped out of her shower and dried off, dressing herself for bed. She exited her tiny bathroom into the area she kept her bed in and gazed out to the scene through her window.
The moon was full and bright tonight and as such the scene before her lavender eyes was illuminated perfectly; village streets, trees and some late night stragglers. Somehow she couldn't help but be struck by the simple beauty of it. 'Did you ever do this Naruto?'She wondered to herself. 'Have you ever found yourself watching the village from your place atop Hokage mountain and wondering if one of those dots down there was me? Have you ever sat here by moonlight and wondered if I was thinking of you?...'
'How silly of me. I spend my days out on missions, and my nights dreaming of you. I suppose that with how much I owe you it makes sense that you would preoccupy my thoughts.' She thought, as if somehow Naruto could hear her over this great distance between them and would be called to her. Her nineteen year old form breathed a sigh and continued to gaze upon the scene of Konoha at twilight below her. Her eyes drifted across Hokage mountain, a favorite place of Naruto's, down the streets and to various houses. She stopped her gaze on Naruto's apartment building and sighed, a shooting star catching her eyes as it streaked across the sky behind said building.
"I wish that Naruto were thinking of me too..." She said aloud to the star knowing that her dream wouldn't come true. Who wished on a shooting star nowadays anyways? Wasn't that childish? 'Maybe, but I would rather be childish than to give up on my dreams. At least this dream...'
Years. That's how long she'd had this feeling. Every step she'd taken since she was little was meant for him. To notice her, to accept her, to praise her. When she was in school, and when she was a genin, it had been pure admiration that had bound her to him. He never gave up and he never went back on his word. Those were his ways. He fought with such determination through every hardship that he faced no sane person could help but admire him. His eyes back then... They held a promise that he would be great despite everything. A promise he never took back and he'd never let down to that day. He was a genius. A genius of hard work and guts. He was an inspiration to her.
Everything she was back then was like him. To a lesser degree she also had been humiliated, cast aside, rejected and molested. But while Naruto had an entire village against the thought of his very existence for reasons she would have to wait many years to learn, she was rejected by her own family. Not that everyone outside of her home wasn't fake as well. Oh, they smiled at her, were polite, respectful, but it was a sham. She could see the dislike in their eyes. She was nothing but the spoiled Hyuuga princess to them; never mind that she had never even been praised much less spoiled. She had no one real with her in her life except the blonde haired Uzumaki child. She saw herself in him to a degree. She understood him better than anyone else could have. She came to sympathize with him. And more.
Through the years she had watched him grow up as she herself changed. When he left for those three years between ages twelve and fifteen she had feared that she would lose her friend and idol permanently. Would he ever return? And what would he think of her when he did return? Would he even know her? What she hadn't expected was that when he finally returned she would not only have retained her friendship with Naruto, the person she admired, but that something else would spark within her as well.
She hadn't really dated anyone during those three years. Not that she hadn't been interested in some people; On the contrary she had stomped out maddening crushes during that period. She just never really could bring herself to date anyone. They were too bad in the public view for her clan to accept, some of them. Some of them were just jerks she later realized. Really it had just never been the right circumstance or person for her. Then Naruto came back. Blonde hair, mischievous sapphire blue eyes, those adorable whiskers. Stronger, wiser, more determined than ever. She had started to fall for him.
Hinata shook her head, allowing the happy tears that had been gathering at her memories to fall from her face. The moon was high in the sky now, the houses were all dark and the streets were essentially barren. She tore her eyes from the serene scene she beheld and looked to her clock. One-thirty AM. She needed to at least try to sleep. She had to be up bright and early to give her report to the Hokage and dwelling on Naruto again tonight just wasn't a good idea. 'If I can forget him tonight I might get some sleep... might.' She mused as she crawled into bed. Her orange and black sheets had been chosen by Naruto when she had moved; it seemed everything around her held a memory of him. Her eyes were shut soon enough and exhaustion carried her off into dreams once again.
"Hinata!" Naruto called to her in his happy go lucky voice. "Come join me! It's miso!"
Why not? He was swimming in a huge bowl of ramen soup and it looked very, very good. If the heat didn't sooth her then being around Naruto surely would. She went to her dresser to change and found that all she had was a very small bikini that she had never worn. She was embarrassed by it's small size but since the ramen broth was dark she could easily hide from his view and he would never know how small her bathing suit was.
When she had changed she climbed in and promptly sank into the broth until all her body save the neck and head was covered, her long inky hair swimming in the broth. Naruto seemed happy to have her there and began a splash fight, causing her to giggle merrily and join him. She didn't know how long this silly dream of hers continued, all she knew was that eventually it would end. It always did. Every happy dream ended lately. Every silly one ended. And it always came back to the sad truth that he was not there with her. When she woke up she was alone again. Every time.
She tried not to dwell on this as she realized that she was dreaming, and yet as if to mock her the dream disappeared and replaced itself with the cold Hyuuga manor she had recently been evicted from. Her clothing was restored again subconsciously as she traveled towards the room where she knew her fate was waiting. If this was usual dream, as she was sure it was, then she already knew where she had to go. Best to get it over with. She might have known it was a dream but that didn't mean she knew how to change it. And what was worse, to go through the motions of a dream she had become so used too or to create some shabby imitation of Naruto again and hide from the truth? Her feet carried her further into the cold depths of the ancient Hyuuga manor, onwards towards the room belonging to the Head of Clan. As she opened the door she relinquished control and allowed her mind to once again reign over her dreams.
"You are weak, Sister. You have always been a defect and a failure as a clan member. None of this has changed and you have made no effort to better yourself. As head of this family I hereby expel you. Know that I have been merciful only because of fathers' last wishes. Were it my wish you would have been my personal servant with the caged bird seal upon your brow. Leave my sight and never return." Spoke the teenage Hanabi. Before her stood Hinata, her older sister and previous heir to the Hyuuga legacy. Both were dressed in formal Kimono's and both looked upset. But whereas Hinata had a look of shock and pain on her face Hanabi showed only cold and ruthless malice.
"But where will I go? What am I to do? Can I not have time to prepare a suitable place to live for myself, a single week?" Hinata sobbed towards her little sister, the new head of the Hyuuga Clan. Hanabi smiled a calculated smile and replied in the same cold and harsh voice her father had used so many times before her. "You have wasted enough time here as it is. Perhaps one of your worthless friends will accommodate you, I care not. Leave this house, leave this clan, and do not return." When Hinata gave no immediate indication she would be moving soon Hanabi spoke again, this time in an order. "Neji, remove her from my sight."
Neji had come forward from somewhere unknown, his strong hands far more gentle then Hinata had ever remembered them, and helped her to her feet. As he guided the broken Hyuuga out of the door he whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry Hinata. I wish it wasn't like this." His eyes showed only regret, his voice was obviously sorrowful. "If your fath- Haiashi had not died when he did, things might have been different. He was a great man, I see that now."
"I know Neji.. I know..."
Sweat. She was sweating again. But this time she was cold, freezing, not warm. She was awake. She was instantly aware of the pressure on her chest, the rapid beat of her heart, her breathing shallow and forced. No matter how many times she re-lived that moment, no matter how used to it she became, it still haunted her. Every night it came back to her. And every night she awoke wishing that he was there to hold her like he had been in the beginning of her ordeal. 'Naruto... I need you so much.'
She got up out of her bed and began to dress. Somehow she knew she would need to clear her mind with reality, memories could not help her tonight. She needed to move, needed to act. She needed to see him if only for a moment. That would make the nightmare but a memory. She dressed herself in loose fitting pants and a simple top with short sleeves. It was still so warm outside, why did she feel so cold and empty?
'When father had his illness he changed so much," She thought. 'He must have known that he wouldn't survive... He was so kind to me. He told me everything about my mother, about myself when I was little, about how and why he did what he did. Hanabi and I must have sat for days listening to him talk to us. I hoped he would never go away..."
She leapt through her opened window out into the night and landed safely on the rooftop of the house next to her. The night air held no chill for her as she raced across the rooftops towards Naruto's apartment, a small shadow darting through the darkness. She felt like an undying shadow in a world of lights, fighting for it's right to exist. Everything had become so numb.
Her memories drifted backwards. She had shown up at Naruto's doorstep a broken wreak and he had made her whole again. He had done so much for her in those days following her excommunication from the Hyuuga. For a month he had shared his home with her and helped her to save money for her own place. His strong arms had held her as she cried, he sat silent and listened to her as she poured her heart out to him about how she had lost her father and lost her sister, lost her family and her place in the world. More than that, he had given her hope.
"Hinata!" Naruto screamed. Hinata stopped her crying in shock. Naruto got up off of the bed he had acquired for her and turned to face her again, determination blazing in his eyes. "I refuse to listen to you belittle yourself and your place in this world anymore. You have lost a lot but you aren't worthless. You were never worthless, and you never will be! Stop all this crap right now and pull yourself together. You're stronger than this and you're going to prove it to everyone like I know you can."
The memory still made her smile. In all her time with Naruto that month she had never felt so good, never in all her life. Her friend had been there when she had been broken, beaten and left for dead by people who were supposed to care about her. "I'll be your friend till the day I die, Hinata." He had told her with his foxy grin while he moved her things to her new apartment. "If you ever need anything you just let me know. Remember, I'm your friend, I'll help you out! Believe it!" Was it wrong that the memory made her sad? Sad that he was her friend and nothing more? Sad that nothing passionate had happened between them? That he had been there for her and yet was still so far from her grasp?
Once Naruto gave his word for anything he kept it. Everyone knew that. She knew he would keep his promise, if she needed anything she had but to ask. But how do you conjure up the courage to tell someone that you don't need anything except them? She needed a miracle. The courage to tell him that she'd fallen in love with him, that he could make everything in her life right by the touch of his hand. How could she bring herself to hope that he wouldn't be her friend! 'I don't want to be your friend Naruto... I want to be your love... I want to be in your arms, dreaming with you endlessly. Why can't I have that?'
Her progress towards his house was remarkable considering the fact that she was clearly across town. What should have been a good thirty minute trip took her much less. But before she could reach his building she caught sight of him. He was out at this hour!?!
She immediately stopped and hid herself in a shadow; What could she possibly say that could explain her presence so close to his home at this time of night? Certainly he wouldn't accept that she was coming to watch him sleep! It might have been the truth, but it was still probably creepy. She kept herself hidden in the shadows and made her way slowly back towards her won home, watching him all the while, for he was headed in the direction of her home anyways. What was he doing up so late tonight?
She felt a chill run down her spine as she beheld him. The heat of the night must have been affecting him as well for he was shirtless, his broad shoulders and toned stomach a torturous form of eye candy for her as he moved in the night. His defined muscles rippled in the moonlight and shone with a thin layer of sweat even though his pace was leisurely. His face was determined, set, but there seemed to be a troubled look about him. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but knew that she couldn't risk exposing herself to him now. She slipped slowly away, back into the shadows of the night and made her way quickly towards her home.
She had seen him tonight. That was enough comfort to allow her sleep
Back in her pajamas and in her bed thoughts came to her unbidden and unwelcome. He had been shirtless. His body was hard and toned, erotic and dreamy. His eyes though troubled had shown his characteristic determination. He was sexy, he was more... She couldn't escape the thoughts of him, but she still needed to sleep. She tried to force her body to relax but her mind was awake, alert and ready. 'Nothing wrong with wanting the guy you're in love with, right?' Chimed in a voice at the forefront of her mind.
'Why want someone who doesn't want you?' A voice in the back chimed in, immediately depressing her and shutting off all functioning in her body. Well, she had wanted sleep. That worked.
As she began to drift off into dreams again time slipped from her. Somewhere she knew her Naruto was waiting, happy, excited to see her, ready to hold her and make it all right. She could see him waiting there in her minds eye as she relaxed. She was coming to him now...
*crunch* Her eyes snapped open but she remained still. Someone was in her room. Who though?
She sniffed the air and caught the scent of ramen, causing her eyes to widen in shock as she used all of her willpower to remain completely still. She shut her eyes as quickly as she could when another soft sound issued from her open window. She could feel the weight of the newcomer in the room, she could hear his breathing in synch with her own. Why would he come here of all the places on earth? Was he in some kind of trouble? She could barely open her mouth before she heard him speaking in a low, soft voice.
"I know you're sleeping Hinata... I know you can't hear me... Maybe... Maybe thats why I always come to you at night when you can't hear me. Because I couldn't bear losing your friendship." He whispered to her as she pretended to sleep, her body flat on her back in bed. He walked over to her and sat down on the bed next to her very gently, obviously not wanting to wake her up, and stoked her hair. Hinata was fighting not to move into his touch as she listened, astounded, to his voice. "It's been six months since you moved out. Hell it's been six months since last I've had a conversation with you that lasted more than a few minutes. But every night I wind up here watching you sleep."
A million thoughts raced through her mind all at once. Only one ever made it out of the tangled mess though. 'Why?'
He had to have read her thoughts. Had to have. He explained it perfectly. He told her what she wanted to know without being asked. Maybe it was just her lucky night? Maybe that wishing upon a star thing really did work. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since you left. You haunt my dreams, and I cant find the words to say to you when you're awake. I don't understand what I'm feeling and... This is just, all so new to me Hinata. Why do I want you back in my arms? Why can't I form the words when you're standing next to me in the daylight?"
Naruto stopped for a moment and let loose a ragged sounding breath. It sounded like this was hard for him, she noted. Naruto might have been loud but he wasn't known for deep understanding of complex emotional patterns. His forays into dating had been limited and she doubted he had ever stopped to consider the idea of emotional attachment. Still, his confidence was his most incredible quality and it was shaking to see him lose it. Since when did anything scare Naruto? He drew closer to her and kissed her gently on the lips. "I'm too scarred to tell you when you're awake, so I'll tell you this once while you sleep. I love you Hinata." And with that Hinata's world imploded.
He tried to leave at that moment and he might just have been successful too, had Hinata not wound her arms around him and pulled him into the bed with her, tangling her arms and legs with his and pulling him closer. Naruto froze at once as if someone had hit him in the back of the head with a battering ram. He began to sweat and shake, nervous that he had done something wrong or, worse, that he had been caught. If he was caught how could he explain himself to her, what could he say that would make this ok?
"I love you too Naruto." She muttered softly into his ear. Then she began to giggle uncontrollably at the utterly shocked look on the face of her blond haired angel. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were wide. He was trying to verbalize something but obviously failing miserably. He took more than a few minutes to get his voice back and sputtered out "Y-you d-d-do?" When he was met with the most beautiful smiling lavender eyes he had ever seen and a simple nod he pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair.
"Promise me you're not leaving me..." Hinata whispered into his ear, barely audible. Naruto nodded into her neck, not bothering to draw back from her. "I'm not leaving you, Hinata. Believe it."
Hinata made it a point that she had to wish on more stars from now on. She began to drift off into dreamland again, and for once didn't dream of anything at all but the boy sleeping in her arms. Naruto himself was making the same vow. Wish on a lot more shooting stars from now on.
Ok, I admit it, I am a SUCKER for romance, and I LOVE naruhina. The scary part is that I'm a guy. Anyways, hopefully I did a decent job. I would appreciate a "yay" or "nay" on that subject, but if not I can carry on Life will just not be worth living... (snif snif) Hows that for guilting reviews ;-) No, seriously, hope you like it, but if not well, I did my best.
I thought the song worked in a near perfect way for Hinata. I used several translation sites to see what the Spanish lyrics meant, and it came out somewhere between "My love, how I do miss you" and "My love, How I am strange to you" for the third line of Spanish. I thought it was worth mentioning since Naruto calls Hinata strange, dark and timid when they're twelve. Like I said, this song really seemed perfect for her.
On an offhand, the newest Naruto Manga chapter has Hinata, Shino and Kiba back! Meaning that this is the prime opportunity to develop the Naruto/Hinata relationship into something that can actually become love! yay! Lets keep our fingers crossed!
ps) The song is "Dreaming of You" by Selena. Hopefully you all know it, but if not go download it somewhere or find it online! And I swear, if I have to say how well I think it fits Hinata again I will scream!
UPDATE: I've made minor revisions to the fic, extended a few parts, changed a few grammatical errors and overall just touched it up. Overall this is one of the best fics I've ever written, and I keep trying to do something near this good but it just never works out. I'm going to update the fic's I've already got on here as a way of getting back into the spirit of writing again after a VERY long absence. Once I'm done with that hopefully the fics will be better AND I'll be back into writing mode. Zeta out.