By Selim
Rating: M
Summary: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.
Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist Pairings: Roy + Edward

Thank you (and sorry for not updating recently): (FF) HaltiOvi, QuitexSoul, Kayakokitty, Fireywolfchild, Chibibuny—chan, HeavensangelQ, Insane Slytherin, InuyashanKagomerlovers, Mikayasha, Shinigami-chan, Foreverforgotten5, Anime-luver101 (AFF) Radcat38, Nusku, Amethyst-eyed Koneko, and LadyRonin

He had to destroy that book.

A wide smile was plastered on Ed's face as he walked around Central, giving an aura that he was in a good mood even after yesterday's disaster. In reality the boy was fuming as he thought about that book in the colonel's desk drawer just begging to be burned. Before Edward Elric could be saved from the darkness that was.

The plan had been explained behind closed doors and Ed had made certain to eavesdrop on all the information that would come in handy. Later that day an advanced alchemist named Gregory Thompson would be arriving to look over The Book and would construct a counter circle to fix everything. He, if all worked well, would bring back Edward 'Full Metal' Elric thus locking up Ed, the child, in that darkness again waiting for another idiot to open the book. Only this time it would be an eternal wait for the book, according to Mustang himself, was going to be burned. The smile faulted and was replaced by a nervous frown. This childish, whimsical body could do nothing supportive instead would often cry and demand plenty of sleep.

Prior alchemists had never transformed to such a juvenile state. Never had He been forced to suffer cognitive loss in his years of forced existence. Because so many mental, and at times physical, problems had occurred there was no real way to snatch the book from the much stronger adults and tear the pages before that Thompson character analyzed it. He also doubted that using those cute gold eyes (no matter how brimmed with tears they could get) could fool the colonel into letting him see the book prior. For a completely oblivious moron, he was an intelligent man when it was needed.

A dizzy spell struck the child, almost causing him to fall over. Ed groaned. He was going to need to stop Full Metal's return before the child in him took full control. All this over thinking was making it happen faster.

"Are you okay, Ed?"

Turning his head, the blond tried to recall the smoking guy bending to his level. "Yes." He whispered, the little part of him wanting to cry out that his knees were starting to shake nervously still. "Where's Mister Roy?"

"He's working kid." The man – Havoc! Ed mentally cheered at recalling the guy's name – reached into his pocket and deposited a lollipop into Ed's lap. "For you, so don't go running around today."

The child nodded again as he unwrapped the sweet before stuffing it in his mouth. At least, he decided, if he was stuck as a kid forever, he'd have it made. All he had to do was eliminate one Full Metal and this good life would be all his.

Roy tapped his pen against his desk, ignoring the small nicks in the cherry oak paneling as he glared at the book in front of him. He'd spent the morning analyzing the pages while his troops had been ordered to maintain Ed's attention until they knew if it was possible to return the young boy to his rightful form. So far he hadn't grown any closer to an answer than he was at the beginning of his search. At points he didn't even think the Professor of Human Alchemy could figure this one out. It scared him to picture himself taking care of Edward Elric the rest of his young life. Having children was such a sex-life disaster. Women thought it meant he was committed and a family man – which he was neither, thank you.

"Colonel, instead of wasting oxygen why don't you try signing those damage reports?" Hawkeye cocked her gun for added effect. The colonel flinched, tugging the forms towards him.

"Damage? How could there still be damage? We have Full Metal subdued!" Roy glanced over the forms to see just what had been destroyed.

"You did lose your cool yesterday. Some equipment suffered severe fire damage. You charged the military for tickets to Risembool and back. There was that hush money for the Buttram case. Medical bills. The library is charging for book damage caused by Ed. All these need your signature." She shifted the papers back in order before leaving the room. With a groan, Roy fished at the first form and read through half heartedly.

Back to the little monster running around as if he owned everything. That morning the little snot had been up long before the sun rose and had demanded pancakes. He then, when trying to make himself orange juice, poured pulp all across the kitchen. On the way to work he'd been chanting about stepping on cracks and breaking people's backs. Roy groaned, scribbling his signature on the form. He wasn't made to be a father. Hugh was, but he sure the hell wasn't. Opening the desk drawer, he'd dropped the forms in there before grabbing the journal again to look over the alchemist book that had supposedly been lost for years.

Only Edward Elric could find such.

But what a gift; returning to one's youth. It seemed more of a luxury than anything else. Of course, Roy had made no plan to make that alchemy circle himself. No matter how tempting his youth was, losing all his memories and alchemy skills just wasn't worth it. And who lied about what kind of circle it was? Only someone who was looking for trouble, that's who. Flipping through the pages, Roy frowned at the notes in the back. He'd read them, but none of the information really pertained to what happened to the old body. I wonder how much it hurt having bones snap into smaller shapes just to form a short teenager into a short toddler?

The door to his office opened suddenly, causing Roy to jerk out of his thought and start rummaging for the papers he'd given up on before his sight made a connection with his brain that it wasn't an angry Hawkeye at his door but a small Edward Elric, dragging bedding with him. "I wanna take a nap." Ed started towards the couch. Looking at the clock, Roy noted it was almost time for the boys nap.

"Carry on then," the colonel said as he put the notebook away in favor for the bills he needed to sign. Ed wiggled up in the couch with his blanket and pillow, curling up into himself. The two fell into silence, a soft scratching of Roy's pen against the desk the only sound in the room. Ed flipped on his belly, catching Roy's attention halfway through a sentence. "Go to sleep, Ed."

"Can't," the boy mumbled into his pillow.

"Would you like me to go get you a warm glass of milk?"

"Ew-! No! You're too loud!"

"You're the one screaming." Roy smirked, putting his pen down. Golden eyes turned to look at him, begging him to suggest going away for the duration of naptime. "Fine, whatever. I need some coffee anyway if I'm going to get through these forms. If you need anything Havoc or someone can get it for you. You're not to leave this room, is that understood?"

"Uh huh." The child cooed, cuddling warmly into his blanket to hide his head. Roy grunted, opened his drawer to grab the notebook before shuffling the papers with the notebook at hand. He'd look over it again when he was at the cafeteria. At the door, he wished the kid good night, shut off the last remaining light and left the room.

A golden eye peeked out from under the blankets at the soft click of the office door latching. Finding the coast clear from nosey Colonel's, the blond slid to the floor and rushed over to the desk. He was sure that Roy had placed something in the desk, probably the notebook. Tearing open the drawer, Ed shuffled the paperwork, pens, photos, and other invaluable objects around before slamming the drawer shut. No book. That asshole probably took it with him when he left! Not wanting to accept that, Ed reached for another drawer and opened it. This one contained folders. Pulling the first thick file marked "Full Metal" up and looked through the papers under that.

"Ed, what are you doing in the colonel's desk?"

Jumping, the boy turned and looked at the woman who acted motherly around him. Hawkeye, he believed her sur name was. Smiling, the little boy rushed toward her. "I want to color."

"You chased the Colonel out of here for a nap, so go lie down and stay out of his drawers, Edward. That's not for peeping little boys." She approached the desk to firmly latch the drawer closed as Riza's other hand pushed Ed towards the couch. "Now go to sleep or I'll take you over my knee, little man." Covering his bottom (just in case she went through with that threat), Ed climbed back onto the couch not in the least bit tired. He glared at the oblivious woman as she checked that all the other drawers were shut before grabbing a file off the desk itself. Leaving the room, cold brown eyes fell on the boy one last time before the door shut and subjected the child into darkness again.

Clenching his fist in the blanket, Ed glared at the ceiling. He was starting to hate these people.

"Colonel?" Hawkeye inquired, sneaking a peek through the almost empty cafeteria. Lunch had finished awhile ago and only the colonel had yet to finish his meal. The cooks usually left something out for the busy man while leaving the coffee flowing until everyone was told to return to work. As she expected, the dark haired officer was sitting near the window, a stack of papers to his left and a notebook open in front of him as he sipped black coffee. "Have you finished signing these?" She reached for her weapon. The man nodded, not even looking up. Smiling, she plucked the forms up and glanced over them quickly.

"You needed something?" Roy flipped the page. An empty paper came out from under the book and he flicked his pen tip over, leaving a faint trail that resembled writing. Notes, Riza noted. The man didn't look like it, but he took his work very serious. Edward Elric was his work.

"I went to your office to grab a referral form and Edward wasn't on his couch like you said he'd be."

The pen left a splattered mess on the page, ruining an alchemy circle. "What'd he do, escape out the window?"

"No. He was going through your desk drawers - where this notebook should have been. I don't trust him, Colonel. I know he's only four and that would make him the most trustworthy person in the world but…there's just something about him that doesn't seem right. Even Al said that there were moments that Edward Elric wasn't himself."

Roy nodded. "It's almost true but not quite. He is himself but with many personalities. I've seen our Full Metal come out, I've seen a little four year old come out, and then I've seen a monster. I've also done research on all of these signed alchemists. People have said they've aged to younger forms, each varying just how much they aged however one thing has been the same according to eyewitnesses over time. They changed in personalities after using it. One moment they were close to how they use to be but then it had gradually become something different until they died. Then afterwards this book pops up again at a library of some other alchemist."

"So you're saying people think it's possessed?"

"Yes." Roy nodded. "I'm not saying it is though. Besides the usual amount of four-year-old accidents go on at the apartment I haven't seen anything ghostly going on." He let the notebook drop on the table. "I'm getting a headache thinking about this. Has our guest arrived yet?"

"Alchemist Gregory Thompson is being escorted here from the train station as we speak. Would there be any supplies that are needed?"

The colonel shook his head, returning to his readings. "Just a few more pages of clean paper and pencils. Have him brought in here when he arrives." Roy absently drank from his coffee cup. "And…keep an open eye in my office."

"Of course." Riza turned to leave, once last glance at her commanding officer. The doors shut behind her and Roy peeled his eyes away from the assortment of words and symbols to rub his eyes. This was becoming too daunting of a task. Of course, as required, he had skills to decipher the words. He had background in conflicting alchemy as well as developing the opposite – just in case some new alchemist fucked up beyond repair. But this wasn't his job. He was much better on the field – killing – then sitting at a desk looking at these forms.

Because the more he read up on the circle, the more pissed off at Edward Elric he became.

It was only a matter of time before he'd grab that unsuspecting four year old and shake common sense in that thick blond head. Maybe the second time around the boy will have learned to listen to his superiors and bring any questionable material before the committee. Then none of this shit would ever happen and the last few weeks could become more of a dream – a horrible, horrible dream – than a reality.

"Captain Gregory Thompson." A lieutenant opened the door, directing in a tall man of western descent. The man pushed back his dark hair and seated himself across from the colonel, one leg crossing his lap and he relaxed – completely ignorant of his superior's disgruntled look. In one fluid motion, the westerner grabbed the notebook from the Colonel, sitting back again as he skimmed over the pages.

"Time Alchemy? Never thought I'd even hear that. Phht, whoever found this was a moron to go around using it. The date symbol on the right is twisted wrong – which is why it looks like it'd summon the philosopher's stone. Let me guess, that little moron shot himself in time?"

"Physically, yes, Captain," Roy growled lowly to remind the man of his rank. "How long will it take for a counter-alchemy circle?"

"Couples hours. Five at most." The man smirked before leaving the room, taking Roy's notes and the notebook with him. Shaking his head, Roy picked up his own cup of coffee and follow suit. He wanted to sit in his office and it didn't sound like Ed was trying too hard to sleep.

Ed jumped back under his blankets when the office door was pushed open. Clenching his eyes shut to feign sleep, the child listened to Roy swear before the couch was kicked roughly, throwing the child partly in the air. Sniffling, Ed wrapped his blankets around his small frames to give a tearful, innocent stare at the colonel that he hated with a passion. The office, once pristine, was now littered with papers. The walls were colored with ink, leaving hand prints and finger paintings in random spots. Sadly, under some of them were poorly written names, almost as if wanting to place blame on someone.

A golden eye peeked out from under the blankets, watching the colonel swoop down to pick up some stray papers before moving towards his desk to deposit them in a less than orderly fashion. Ed clenched his eyes shut again when the flame alchemist turned to him, approaching with light steps. Tiny fingers fisted the blanket to hold it still but it wasn't enough as the material was ripped from his fingers and deposited to the floor. Crying out in shock, the lump of blond fell to the floor just under Roy's feet. "Clean this mess up, Ed."

Eyes still tightly closed, the boy tried snoring.

"I know you're awake, Ed."

"Sweeping," the murmured voice, using childish language to enforce this, said into a thin arm. Roy rolled his eyes as he grabbed the boy's ankle, dragging him across the floor. Ed kicked and screamed, scratching at the wood angrily. "I hate you! I wanna sleep!"

"You should have done that instead of destroying my office!"

"Havoc did it!"

"I'm sure Havoc is not spelt 'H-A-V-I-C-K' now go down to the janitors and get some cleaning supplies. I want this office done before I leave or you'll be drink milk for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until you're sixteen!" Roy dropped the foot roughly before storming towards his seat. Taking it, he watched the screaming child on the ground with a look of distaste. After some time Ed's cries fell silent and dark gold eyes glared up at Roy with equal dislike. "Sitting there's not going to clean these floors faster."

A pink tongue escaped thin lips with a raspberry, spraying saliva towards Roy. None of the spit hit him or the desk, but in seconds Roy was up and grabbing his charge, lowering the boys trousers just enough to show cotton covered underwear Roy felt his hand swing down on fleshy cheeks long before it made a connection with his brain. He was disciplining a child – not his child – in a corporal way (something he swore never to do when he did have children). More appalling he was the fact the boy he was swatting twice more was not just any boy but his subordinate. Finally, when his hand burned and Ed's screams became sobs he released the boy – watching the child slide on the floor in a lax fashion. That tantrum was gone, leaving a shell shocked boy. "If you ever disrespect me again, Edward, I'll take you over my knee again. Is this clear?"

The blond nodded, sniveling pitifully.

"Out loud, Edward."

"Yes, sir."

"Now get the cleaning supplies and clean up this office."

"Yes, sir." The child waddled out, holding his bottom in pain. Outside, his officers were staring back with wide eyes. Coughing in his hand, Roy grabbed the stack of papers he'd picked up earlier and went about rearranging them properly.

The minute Roy's hand collided with his bottom, Edward had relented his hold over the child (giving it to four-year-old Ed) and went on search for Full Metal. Unsurprisingly, the boy was curled up in the darkness, singing soft tunes and drawing alchemy circles in the air. It would only be a matter of time before the boy would give up and disappear in the darkness. Edward smirked, approaching his new host. "That colonel is a real bastard."

"Yes he is, but you deserve it." Full Metal scanned his imaginary alchemy circle, using his palm to erase something only he could see before replacing it with another quick turn of his finger in the air. Edward snorted. Sometimes his host could be a real idiot. "I could feel the pain. He…spanked me because of you."

"I hate your fucking little body. And why does milk taste like shit in this form?" Edward inquired.

"Because it is shit," Ed chuckled. "When will you go away and give me my life back?"

The creation of darkness shrugged its shoulders, Edward's shoulders. "Never. Even if I am a short, milk-hating brat I get everything I could want. I can live for years before I have to go find a new host and no one will be any the wiser that I'm not really you. However, I am having a certain annoying problem with the notebook. Roy has it and I need to destroy it. When will he let his guard down so I can claim it?"

"If he's smart, he'd probably of given it to someone else by now. I've known the jerk for a long time – the book is probably as far out of reach as possible and he's raising a suspicious brow towards your behavior. I've always walked on eggshells before mom died. Did anything I could get her smile and attention because she was always upset about dad leaving us. When she died I grew a defiant streak that still sits. If I'm four years old, acting like a brat Roy won't trust you. You dug your own grave."

A sharp foot collided into Full Metal's side, taking his breath away. "When you die, I'll be happy."

"As will I – when you die."

"You know something?"

"The Colonel. He'll save me. He's always there when I need him." Ed held his sides, watching angrily as the creature that stole his body disappeared.

Thompson tossed the notebook and a piece of paper on the colonel's desk before lying out on the couch. His uniform pooled around his broad shoulders as he dug crisp boots into the couch. "Complete – now what do I get for all my hard work?"

"Not sent to the stockades for insubordination." Roy took the paper, eyeing the alchemy circle. "Are you able to activate this?"

"I made it didn't I?" The other man sneered. "I can create any alchemy circle just as long as I have the alchemy circle drawn out. Where do you want this thing drawn out?"

Roy rubbed his temples, handing the sheet of paper to the alchemist. At least the guy was capable with his job. "Outside, in the training ground. I'll go collect Full Metal." He left the room so he wouldn't have to see the hazard sprawled across the couch.

After cleaning up Roy's office, Ed had fled to the library – his safe haven ever since he'd gained forgiveness for destroying it. Behind him followed his entire staff, eager to watch this entire nightmare disappear. As he expecting, sitting doll-like, Ed was staring blankly at the wall – lost in his own little world. He'd been told by Riza earlier that Ed was still sulking about being spanked and refused to talk to anyone who tried to coddle him. Bending near Ed, Roy shook the child's shoulder. Gold eyes blinked into focus and narrowed. "Come on. I have…a surprise for you."

"What?" The boy asked.

"Just come." Roy took the boy's hand and pulled him off the chair. "Riza go see when Thompson will be ready while we put Ed into some looser clothing." He grabbed the child, lifting the boy into the air before Ed could run off to hide. "Where's Al?"

Havoc shrugged. "Ran off earlier to collect Mrs. Rockbell from the train station. Since we were coming in to the time that Ed would be returning to his original form, he thought it would be good to have her around in case there is unforeseen damage. Like…the usual missing limbs." Little Ed tensed at the last sentence before flailing around, trying to escape Roy's hold. The colonel's unrelenting grip tightened as they started down the hall towards the lockers just south of the training fields. From a window he was able to see Thompson chalking up a circle large enough to take over the entire sports field, leaving the cement dusty and (if anything) a tad bit ugly. Tiny legs stopped moving and the boy tucked under his armpit. "Did he die?" Havoc leaned forward, looking at the glazed eyes of a four-year-old.

"No," Roy simply sat the child down on the old wooden bench in front of the lockers as a private brought over a large uniform that Edward Elric (even at sixteen) could swim in, "he's throwing a silent tantrum. Just ignore it and he'll stop."

"You're becoming quite the parent colonel."

"Bleh, this was a horrible crash course. I plan to die before I have kids."

Havoc smirked, bringing a cigarette between his lips to chew nimbly at the tar resting on the base. "That kind of defies science to have children after you're dead."

"Shut up, Havoc," Roy grunted as he pulled the tight tunic from Ed's thin body, replacing it with the large shirt. "Stand up, Ed." The little boy muscles stiffened even more and it took both Havoc and Roy to lift the child to his feet. The long PT shirt hung loosely over the boy's right shoulder and fluttered down to his ankles leaving enough decency when they dragged down the child's pants and replaced them with shorts. "Best hold them up yourself, Ed." Roy wrapped the boy's hand around the hem and watched the statuesque Ed with weary eyes. The blond's tight grip around the pants only tightened before wide, tear-filled, gold eyes looked up at Roy. Like a kicked puppy. "What now?"

"I don't want to go away…" The child sniffled. "I like Mister Roy and Momma Riza and Uncle Havoc and…" He ranted to himself, unaware of the snorted down laugh that escaped Havoc at the comment about Momma Riza. He wished she was around to hear that.

And as much as Roy had liked to respond to that comment as Yeah? Well the feelings not mutual – go away, he couldn't. Instead, he patted the child's head feigning a smile. "Of course you're not going away! You want to be an alchemist right? Well all alchemy circles have to be tested before they can be used. We're going to test it on you and if it works, you get to test it on me."

Ed's eyes widened. "Really?"

"I'm an alchemist, believe it."

Touching the boy's back, Roy led him out of the locker room and through the gym until they reached the outside court. There, standing in the center of a large circle was Thompson his uniform dusty and his elbows white from the chalk. The man was yelling towards the roof, asking another alchemist if the circle was in the same shape as the one on the page. Letting Ed drop to the ground, the colonel approached the Captain. "Didn't take very long for you to make this."

"Never does. I only got here because of my speed and accuracy. Apparently that's all they needed for this mission and I was the best. That moron must be important if the government need it fixed up and pronto." Rich brown eyes fell on the loosely dressed child that was kicking up sand. "Oi! He's ruining my circle!"

"Havoc, grab Ed! Thompson, get it repaired. When can we activate this thing?"

Storming towards the edge of the alchemy circle, the Captain threw over his shoulder, "In a few minutes once I repair it. Keep your little monster to yourself."

Grunting, Roy returned to Havoc side, ignoring the kicking feet coming in his direction. "Cheeky little bastard," Havoc hummed past his still unlit cigarette. Who he was talking about – Edward or Thompson – Roy didn't know but he couldn't help but smile and nod his head in agreement. A large crowd of enlisted men and officers had started shaping around the circle, talking vibrantly about what it was for and that – for the second time in their short lives, could watch alchemy at its best in Central's Training Grounds. "Going to be a show tonight."

"Ed deserves the embarrassing attention. He put this unit through enough shit."

Recoiling sharply, Havoc's cigarette hit the ground just as Ed did. The blond wasn't fast enough as Roy grabbed him. "Ow! The little shit bit me, colonel!" The man glared at the boy. Ed hissed, kicking his legs into the back of Roy's shins. "Oh-ho-ho, I can't wait until he's back to normal. At least then it won't be child abuse."

"Hm." Roy tucked the boy under his arm, keeping the boy's feet at length away from his body. "Hurry it up, Captain. There might be a promotion in it if you fix this today."

The man's head shot up, perking at the thought. "Finally! Ten years and I can finally get major!" Chalky fingers touched the pavement again in quick motions once more before shouting up for verification. Given, he jumped to his feet and turned to Roy. "Well, put the little moron in the center. I suggest getting a group of men to circle this – but stay out of the circle – to keep the moron in." The colonel glared at the name given to the blond but he ignored it as he set the fighting Ed in the center, pushing the boy down roughly. The child cried out, trying to claw at Roy's arm but the fire alchemist was already leaving the locked in alchemy circle.

Glaring at the cement, Ed used his shirt to rub the chalk out but it was too late, the white residue was already turning a bright color of activation. He was too slow! Screaming, the child rushed out of the center and towards the outer circle only to be stopped as the light became blinding, pulling him to the earth. "No! I refuse to go back! I'll kill all of you!" The child screamed blindly as his body burned, breaking like a cracked egg leaving a black glob burning in the bright light he'd never grown unaccustomed too. His world, the glorious colors-! He screamed out until his voice became hoarse and disappeared into the air.

When the smoke around the circle dissipated, all that remained was the huddled form a teenager. Edward Elric stared up from the ground, his eyes locking with Roy's. Pink lips quivered, blond hair lowering to the ground in a grimy mess, "Colonel…"

Roy stepped forward, taking the blond in his arms. "It's over now, Full Metal."

"I know."

It had taken months for things to return to normal.

If that's what one would call it of course. Roy grunted as another bill was sent to him for damage caused by Full Metal. Apparently someone had called him short and he'd all but burned the hut to the ground and the guy wanted compensation for the damage. Groaning, Roy wrote out his name before shoving the form away. At least Ed's personality was still intact. The blond did have some step backs where he'd become so frustrated he'd start to cry, often seeking the colonel's shoulder during those rough moments. They never spoke about it out of embarrassment of their new found 'relationship'. Ed would brush his golden eyes, apologize for ruining the man's uniform and rush off as if nothing more had happened.

Roy's eye twitched as he came across yet another bill from the infamous Full Metal. He destroyed the caboose of a train. "Hawkeye! Get me Full Metal's head!" A gloved hand slapped roughly at the table. His office door cracked open and a blond head stuck in. One he'd rather not see. With a nervous look, Ed grunted as Al pushed him completely in the room. "What the hell is this? Can't you go on one mission without destroying something? We're not made of money!"

"I can explain that! There were robbers on the train and they needed to be caged up! I was a hero!" Ed's fist tightened. "You should be thanking me!"

"Another bill!" Roy tore a page out from under the last. This one was for a hotel bed that had been shaped into a car. Which was odd. Roy stopped ranting, re-reading the bill. "A toy car? What happened?"

Al's metal arm was raised in the back, begging for attention. "I can explain that one! He had a minor setback in the middle of the night and just wanted to play with toys but since we didn't have any little-Ed turned the bed into a toy."

"I did not have a setback. The bed attacked me," Ed puffed out. Roy grunted, signing his name at the bottom of the form before putting it in the outgoing basket. "What's going on anyway at central – I saw them tearing apart the library? Is reading finally mandated?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha, Full Metal," The colonel dryly said, "No. We're looking to make sure the notebook reappeared in there. It disappeared after we locked that creature back into it. Don't need some other idiot activating it. He won't have the luxury of a caring Military Instillation funding to repair it quickly."

Beat red, Ed turned to Al. "Let's go, Al. They're making that alfredo you like at the cafeteria!"

The chunk of metal, though aware that Ed wasn't referring to him liking the alfredo and it was more of his body being used as a storage so Ed could have seconds. "Yum, yum, big brother."

"And bring me a plate." Roy tapped his pen again.

"Yea, Yea, bastard." Ed's eyes glazed over a bit before sharpening. Stepping around Roy's desk, to the man's utter surprise, Ed fell gently towards the colonel. Warm lips brushed the other alchemist's cheek before shying away, the owner running off after the chunk of metal completely red in the face. Touching his cheek, Roy blinked.

Well, Ed wasn't completely better – but it was a nice change of pace.