Drunken Theories

Prompt: #001. Tipsy

Notes: Written for 5drunkfics.

"Daniel. How're you holding up?" Jack slurred to his friend, reaching over to pat him on the shoulder. The intended gentle tap turned out to have a lot more force behind it and startled the drunken archaeologist into spilling his beer all over a thick volume of ancient text he had been studying – although none of them could see why he was even attempting to read it in his current state, anyway.

He had been babbling on about total nonsense for the past hour already and seemed to think that it held some great importance in their fight against the Goa'uld. If it ever came down to one of the wild theories he had come up with that night, the Earth was most certainly doomed…as were certain kitchen appliances, sunglasses and alarm clocks.

"Mmmphh!" Daniel grunted incoherently in response and began to wave his hands around in the air, regardless of the bottle, which was still gripped loosely in one hand. Beer ran down his arm and more of it splashed onto his book, the floor, the table and basically everywhere within a 5 metre radius.

Sam smirked from beside Jack and took a swig out of her own half empty bottle. "Not doing so good, huh?" She stared at him for a moment as he turned to look at her with one of the most stupefied expressions on his face that she had ever seen and then, after a long silence, began to giggle at him.

Teal'c glanced up from his kel'no'reeming and raised an eyebrow, then turned to give Jack a questioning look. Jack just shrugged and leaned back to make himself more comfortable, his eyes focused on Sam as he settled in.

"What about you!?" Daniel slurred in protest, waving his arms around some more. Luckily for his friend, his bottle was nearly empty by now and only a few drops sprayed out in her direction.

"What about me?" Sam asked indignantly, her giggles ceasing.

Jack grimaced and jumped in before they had a chance to get rough, deciding finally that no matter how much he didn't want the night to end it would be best if they finished up. "Hey, hey! I think it's about time to pack it all up now, don't you think?" He attempted to stand up, but wobbled and fell back into the couch as Sam and Daniel glared at him.

Ignoring them, he gestured to his Jaffa friend. "Teal'c. If you don't mind…"

Teal'c cocked his head to the side before nodding solemnly. "I will drive Daniel Jackson and Colonel Carter home now," he agreed.

Matching protests of 'No!" rang out and Jack covered his ears with his hands to block it out. Leaving his friends to sort it out, he moved into the kitchen to escape. Teal'c could deal with them both.

Or so he thought.

When he returned a full twenty minutes later, they were still there, arguing. Sighing, he joined Teal'c in his losing battle.

About twenty or so minutes later, Jack was alone, he and Teal'c having finally managed to coax both the archaeologist and astrophysicist into the car under the false pretence that the world was in trouble yet again and Daniel's theory regarding a combination of naquada, sunglasses and jello was essential to their survival.