Author's note- I know a lot of people don't like jacob but i adore him.
this is just what i came up with wondering what was going through his mind through the epilogue of New Moon as Bella was being torn from him. i hope you like it.
Disclaimer- I own nothing of New Moon or Twilight.
As I rolled the red motorcycle into the driveway of Charlie's house I really did feel bad.
My heart ached for Bella; she would get into so much trouble. But then maybe, just maybe she would have to stay away from that boyfriend of hers, the bloodsucker.
I stared at the flickering porch light as I lifted my arms and clasped my hands behind my neck. I exhaled heavily allowing all of the air to leave my lungs until I had to gasp it all back in.
Why did things have to be this way? Why couldn't things be like they were supposed to be? Why couldn't Bella be with me? Didn't she love me? I mean sure, she said she loved this kid too…but it was just so unnatural.
She had said she loved me…once upon a time….
God I hadn't seen her lovely face in so long. If that were all I got out of this I would be all right. I smiled as the image came to my mind.
I heard Chief Swan's patrol car coming around the corner so I strolled into the forest. The cold one would know I was here. He had that stupid superpower right? Ha. Superpower. How ridiculous.
I had missed Bella so much. The pack practically hated me at the moment, my constant mood swings and sudden temper had kept them all on edge. I just couldn't stand being away from her. She was so wonderful. Even typical things, like teetering around in the garage, had become the highlights of my life and that was only because Bella used to be there.
Maybe after this, Charlie wouldn't let her out of the house anymore. So even if I couldn't see her she wouldn't have the vampire salivating over her blood constantly. I gagged at the thought of being touched by such a thing. I let my broad shoulders slump against the thick trunk of a birch. My chin fell to my collarbone as I let my thoughts fall to Bella: the way her face lit up when she smiled and the slightly reddish tones in her hair that shone when the sun touched her.
My heart swelled against my ribs and my already fevered skin rose in temperature as I remembered the way her tiny hand embraced mine.
I tensed suddenly; I could hear his car coming. I had practiced this technique many times before. Like when Sam had said that I couldn't tell Bella what I had become, I put a dam at the base of my throat. A gate, one that wouldn't allow what was pouring through my heart to reach my face. I couldn't let my emotions get in the way of my purpose. Reaffirm the treaty; clarify every point, that's what I was here for.
I heard the shuffles of gravel at the mouth of the path. I could smell him even from this far. The sickly sweet odor burned the insides of my nostrils. They paused for a number of seconds before continuing towards me. I pushed my index fingers into the soft parts of my eyelids, attempting to maintain control over the shaking that was rocking my body. I had to remain calm, for Bella's sake.
As soon as I saw him I had to turn my eyes away. Even the dim light of the forest bounced off his prism-like skin, the alien quality hurt my sensitive eyes. I threw an imprudent smile to my mouth. And then as I looked back I saw Bella, glaring at me from behind the stony figure. I immediately felt a twinge of guilt. What had I done? I just hoped Charlie wouldn't get too upset with her.
I acknowledged her by nodding my head towards the two and uttering her name. My dam weakened slightly as those two syllables passed through it. I couldn't take my eyes from the boy; he looked so inhuman…so strange. How could she cling to him like that?
She whispered, angrily but softly, from behind Edward. How could I have done this to her? I wasn't doing this to her…I just wanted her to stay away from the bloodsucker so that she could be safe. She told me how mad Charlie was going to be. Did I want him to strangle her? I never wanted anyone to harm her. Or for him to end up like Harry, did I want him to have a heart attack? What unfair questions. Of course I didn't want those things.
My smile had retreated back down my throat but I didn't let my face soften. I just wanted her to be safe. If she was grounded then she couldn't throw her life through the teeth of the murderer that stood a couple dozen feet from me. I opened my mouth to reply to her but he beat me to it. Literally repeating what had just passed through my head to Bella. I clenched my fists tighter, stupid superpower. The heat that was crawling beneath my skin was causing my arms and torso to noticeably shake.
Then she told me that she was already grounded, and that's why she hadn't been down to La Push. She also mentioned how irritated she was over the fact that I hadn't been taking her phone calls. That made me feel fractionally better, at least she cared that much.
But I had thought that Edward had been keeping her from me. I mean it made sense that a vampire wouldn't want his girlfriend (I nearly gagged at the reference) hanging around his enemy's grounds. But still, all this time I thought it had been him that was keeping her from me. I looked up and the vampire began telling Bella what had passed through my mind. That was really getting irritating and I told (kind of threatened) him to stop; my temper was becoming harder and harder to control.
I focused on cooling the heat coursing through my veins. I refused to allow the prickly sensation in my back to throw me into wolf form. My fingers stretched and closed, stretched and closed. Bella's here…you can't lose control now, Bella's here. I simply kept repeating that to myself, over and over. My dam was being flooded with waves of intense and swiftly changing emotions. I wasn't sure how much longer it was going to stand. I felt his eyes piercing my face and his ears prying my mind so I glanced up to meet his gaze.
Thanks to his ridiculous mind reading abilities he obviously knew why I was here. But as I opened my mouth to begin discussing the treaty, he interrupted me.
He wanted to say something first, couldn't we just get this over with? Did every bloodsucker have to be so annoyingly eloquent? I mean honestly who gives a shit. The delay only boiled my blood further. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and tried to force the shakes to quit.
He thanked me. My astonishment knocked the dam from its steady position and I felt my jaw drop. I shifted my eyes towards Bella but she looked just as confused. He thanked me for keeping her alive. Ah. Yes, now I understood. The dam reattached itself to the sides of my throat. Danger did seem to follow Bella.
I hadn't done it to aid him (that was damn sure) in his quest for Bella's blood, or heart, or virginity…who really knew what he was after. My hands shook a little more strongly.
My astonishment at his next words was nearly as great as the first time, if there was anything in his power he could do…to repay me? He could leave. Leave and never return. Never endanger Bella again. Leave.
I knew he heard me. Not that I expected him to agree, but his response was still weird. It was Bella's choice? She looked deep into his eyes and replied to a statement that hadn't been directed to her, Never. Powerful jealousy swam through my veins as I looked at them. Why couldn't she look at me like that? I gagged rudely just to interrupt the moment. I couldn't bear to see her look at him like that.
Now to the point, treaty, reaffirm the points. He sneered that his family didn't need reminding, but Bella asked for reaffirmation anyways. None of them could put their teeth to any human's skin, no need to mention killing the human, there wouldn't be time for that, not with the pack around. Any vampire that came close to biting anyone would be taken out quickly. Bella's fierce response nearly knocked me backwards. I stared at her full of incomprehension.
None of my business? But it was my…
My thought trailed away as I realized what she had meant. She wanted to become one of them! She wanted her soul sucked away? She was planning on allowing one of them to feed off her blood? She was going to let them drink the warmth from her skin? I was livid. My skin felt as if it was about to jump off of my bones. I struggled to resist the urge to shift, and I resisted the urge to destroy the boy standing a mere twenty feet from me.
The thought of Bella as a vampire had made me physically ill. The sickness that swirled in my stomach rose up towards my face. Not my Bella, my sweet warm Bella. How could she want to be one of them…ever? But she did. She wanted to be soulless?
I ignored the dam I had placed at my throat as I allowed the hate I had for Edward envelop my senses. Bella stepped towards me and I opened my eyes.
Edwards adjusted in front of her, claiming that I was not under control. I would never hurt Bella ever. I couldn't, it was physically (I would never allow myself) and emotionally (I would never forgive myself) impossible. If anyone hurt her it would be the filthy murderer "protecting" her from me. I told him what was on my mind, though I knew he had already heard it. A low hiss came from his lips as my muscles tensed and my hands clenched tightly.
Charlie's sudden screams sliced through the tension between us. Bella was in so much trouble. I felt bad about that. I apologized to her, avoiding Edward's eyes. His expression might just push me over the edge.
Edward asked about Victoria, I replied without paying any real attention. I focused on calming my nerves. She was ours to deal with, ours to kill.
Charlie's second tirade rang from the front porch of the house. Bella spoke again, still friends? I wasn't sure that was possible…especially not if she became one of them…a growl brew deep within me at the thought. But I had promised. I had promised her that we would be friends no matter what, and I knew that I would never stop loving her. I missed her so much…but I couldn't bear the thought of her as a frozen shell of what she used to be. It sickened me.
My head swayed from side to side. My dam was weakening by the second. I spoke words that I don't even remember, but I did tell her that I missed her. And my hand instinctively reached towards her. She missed me as well.
Pick me. Please, Bella Swan. I love you. I'll never hurt you. I begged her mentally, suddenly wishing she were the one with the super power. I'll always be here. Please, please don't break me now. I felt tears swimming in my eyes and my cheeks burned.
She stepped towards me…maybe she could feel my desperate pleas.
Please. Come to me Bella. Come now. Come forever. Don't let him hurt you again. Please. Come into my arms, I'll never let you go. I opened my arms, begging her to lay her head against my chest. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her. I wanted to hold her face close to mine, and to soak in the warmth in her eyes.
Edward held her back and I nearly tore his arm off. I demanded that he let her come to me. It's what she wanted! Bella tried to assure him that it was all right but he knew it was not. He had heard my thoughts. He wouldn't let her come to me.
My fury pushed me towards the bloodsucking vermin before Charlie's voice filled the forest again. Bella pulled on Edward's arm, dragging him back towards the house.
I felt my face fall in agony and in defeat. My heart stung with the venom of loss. I retreated into my anger and let the sadness settle down into my belly. I spun into the forest and unwillingly shifted to my second form. The air blew by me as I ran and I allowed the water in my eyes to leak into the wind, realizing that I may have lost Bella forever.
After a couple hundred miles, I crumpled into a shaking heap on the ground. My tears stained the ground underneath my face and I dreamt nightmares of Bella's change. In the morning I awoke to my pack hovering above me. I didn't have the strength to speak so I let my body turn into a wolf so they could simply read it from my memories. I plodded, broken-hearted and bent on revenge, back to La Push.
Bella would be safe I vowed. Or I would die avenging the death of her soul.
Author's note- that was fun haha...let me know what you thought of it :)