A/N: I got the idea for Allen to be a girl when I read Real Smile by Lady Indecisive. I tried making turning this into a multi-chapter story years ago and couldn't flush out the initial idea to my satisfaction; therefore I have decided to return it to the oneshot it originally was. Besides, I haven't read DGM in ages, so while I appreciate the support this story will remain a oneshot.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM!

As It Fell Apart

It is ironic how things can change so quickly. For example, now, as I go over the information for the next mission as I ride the train, I gaze out onto the Austrian Alps, the recently fallen snow glistening in the sun. Just an hour before I had been wrapped in a blanket so as to keep warm as the hail beat against the glass and the wind forced its way through the smallest cracks, freezing the train's engines and forcing the train to stop. And here we were, once again moving through the Alps as the snow shone the colors of the rainbow, as if trying to apologize for its earlier behavior.

"Beansprout-chan? Earth to Beansprount-chan!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry about that Lavi. What were you asking?" I asked, plastering a big smile onto my face.

"I was just making sure that you understood what we were going to do."

"It doesn't matter; he always messes up anyways."

"What was that?" I asked through gritted teeth as I turned the focus of my gaze to a certain asshole sitting across from me.

"I said-"

"Yu-chan said that it's time for us to get off," Lavi quickly interrupted as the train pulled up to their station.

Kanda glared at the red head before standing up and marching out of the cabin just as the train pulled to a stop.

"Come on Allen-kun," Lavi said as he pulled me out of the cabin, "I want to see what the town looks like in all of the snow."

I gasped at the sight before me, for never before had I seen anything like it.

Icicles hung off the buildings like gems hanging off a necklace. The air was full of cheerfulness and vivacity as the townspeople wandered through the streets in their winter outfits, occasionally stopping to share a laugh with a neighbor before quickly heading off to finish what they had gone outside to do.

Behind the town stood the mountains, tall regal beauties that glistened like diamonds as the sun's rays bounced off the powder. The slightly ragged peaks were defiant but youthful, giving the feeling of protection from outside invaders, one mountain blending into another like a chain that would never break.

"Where did Kanda go?" I asked, suddenly realizing that the iceberg was not within sight.

"He went off to contact headquarters and tell them that we are here. He said he would meet us at the hotel. Let's go!" he informed me before once again grabbing my arm and dragging me through the streets.

I sighed with pleasure as water cascaded down onto my body from the showerhead above me. I stood like that for a while before reaching around for the knot and beginning to untie the bandages that held my chest down. I took in my first deep breath for a couple of days and let it out as I massaged my sore chest, smiling slightly as a memory fluttered through my mind.

Every since I had been abandoned by my family and left on the streets of this sexist world, I began to learn how to act like a boy. I found it easier in many ways. The gangs of orphans left me alone more often than not, and if they did not, they never came back again once I kicked their butts. It was also easier for a boy urchin to blend in with the crowds than a girl urchin.

But it was not the memories of those days that made me smile, it was the memory of when Cross found out I was a girl.

One morning I had woken up and realized, as I was straightening my room so that I could do my morning exercises, that there was blood on my sheets. I quickly ran to the bathroom and washed it out before deciding to take a shower since I was there already. It was then that I realized that my pants also had blood on them. I quickly changed and washed the blood out of those as well. An hour later I excused myself from breakfast and ran to the bathroom. And, well, there was more blood. After three hours Cross finally asked me what was wrong and I told him that blood kept appearing on my pants.

"Are you injured anywhere?" Cross asked me.

I shook my head no.

"Well, unless you're a-"

I squirmed under his intense glare and backed up into the wall as he approached me with a hammer in his hand.

"Baka apprentice," was all he said before he hit me on the head and dragged me off to have a 'womanly conversation' with his current lover.

I chuckled at the memory and continued to wash myself. Just as I was about to turn off the water, I heard a knock on the door and Lavi say, "Allen-kun? I'm coming in."

I gasped and quickly turned to face the wall of the shower so that if Lavi could see anything through the shower curtain, it was not my female traits.

"You could've given more of a heads-up," I growled as Lavi walked into the room whistling.

"Well," Lavi said as he rummaged among the pile of stuff on the sink, "I figured that we were since boys there was nothing to hide. Ah! Found it!" he said happily before walking out of the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

I sighed and slid down the shower wall, taking deep breathes so as to calm my racing heart.

"Nothing to hide, yeah right," I muttered as I cradled my head with my hands and the water beat down on my body. "There's way too much to hide."

"Ne, Lavi?" I asked the redhead.


"Why does it always end up like this?"

The charm that had been in the town was now gone as a mother mourned the death of her teenage son. Her cries echoed throughout the city and in my head as the villagers got her to quiet down and go back to her house, the clothes of her son gripped tightly in her strong hands.

"Why does someone always die?"

"Someone doesn't die every time Allen-kun," Lavi replied, his voice soft and aloof as he watched the villagers started to clean up the man's ashes.

"But the Akuma are always dead, and that's two for the price of one."

"Allen-kun, you can only save so many peo-"

"Let the Beansprout drown in his misery," a cold voice grumbled from behind him and Lavi glanced up quickly to see Kanda hovering over us as he placed Mugen back in its sheath "We still have to find the innocence."

I glanced up at Lavi and gave him a reassuring look before the two men walked off in search of the innocence.

"Lavi, can I call you onii-san?" I asked suddenly.

Kanda gave me a weird look as Lavi put a hand to his ear and said, "Sorry, could you repeat that?"

"No, it's okay," I shouted back. "It was nothing important. He smiled back at me before turning around and slinging an arm around Kanda which caused Kanda to yell at him.

"It's nothing important."

It was midnight as I finished taking a cold shower and getting dressed; rain pattering softly against the windows. Lavi and Kanda had not come back yet and the hotel was empty, us being the only guests at the moment and the manager on duty had gone out to spend the night with his frightened family.

I walked down the stairs and into the lobby where, if I remembered correctly, there was a piano. The steps creaked as I made my way down them, causing a shiver to run down my spine as it echoed throughout the empty house. When I reached the first floor, I snuck through the rooms until I found the parlor.

I opened the piano and ran my hand over the keys, feeling the cool ivory under my skin calmed me down. I sat down and slowly ran my hands over the keys one more time before I started to play.

As soon as the music started to pour out, I lost my self to the gentle melody, feeling calm inside. As it became more staccato and the trills appeared more often I felt full of energy and – resentment? Resentment towards what? It did not matter anymore for the feeling quickly turned into anger towards the Millennium Earl and the Noahs, for manipulating peoples' hearts and causing them to fight against each other. As the music became more tense it reminded me of the final battle that I new was coming soon, the battle that everyone was waiting for but dreading. As the tension was released and it became slower I was reminded that I had to think of now, that the future was still to far away.

And then it stopped.

"Now's not the time to be playing music, Beansprout."

I gasped and turned around to find Kanda leaning against the doorframe.

"Well sorry if I was told to 'drown in misery' while you guys went out to search for the innocence," I retorted as I stood up and gently closed the lid to the piano.


"So what did you come here for?"

"To see if you were asleep, and if you weren't to get you to start searching the mountains."

"Hai, hai. I got it I'm going," I grumbled as Kanda glared at me until he was sure that I was walking back to the room to get my stuff.

"Besides," I heard him say as I was going up the stairs, "if you worry too much in this job you'll go insane."

"So… cold…."

I was soaking wet and shivering. When I was halfway up one of the mountains, it started to hail. So, not only did I immediately become freezing cold, the hail got inside my coat and melted before freezing up again when it got colder.

And thus is the reason why I am currently suffering from hypothermia while wandering through a cave.

My head began to swim and my knees collapsed underneath me. I crawled over to a wall and leaned against it, curling up into fetal position and wrapping my jacket more tightly around so as to preserve heat.

By the time the footsteps registered in my head, someone had wrapped a blanket around me and picked me up.

"You shouldn't change with the curtains drawn, otherwise people might find out who you are, Adela Carlisle."

I opened my eyes in shock and saw Tyki smiling down at me. I tried to thrash around so as to get him to drop me, but he sent a field of dark energy into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I groaned and lay still, trying to catch my breath.

"That's better," he said. "You see, we can't loose you just yet. Road, would you mind?"

"Let's have some fun, Adela-chan," Road sang as she appeared above me holding onto the Millennium's umbrella.

"What's that?" Lavi asked Kanda shading his eyes against the glare of the spotlight that had just lit up the mountainside.

"A cross."

"I know but what's on it?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Kanda grumbled. He turned around to go back to the hotel when Lavi grabbed his arm.

"That's Allen-kun! Come one!"

Kanda sighed as he followed the redhead towards the mountain. What trouble had the Beansprout gotten into this time?

"See! You look good in a dress, Adela-chan!" Road giggled as she flew around the semi-conscious girl. "Isn't that right, Tyki?"

"Yes, Road," Tyki consented as he appeared beside her. "Now would you mind waking her up? The avalanche is about to come crashing down."

"Why can't we just take her innocence now?" Road inquired as her world started to disappear around her.

"Because, it is not in the Earl's script. Besides," he added as he smiled at her, "what's so bad about having a little fun?"

"When we go by her, grab her and make sure she doesn't fall!" Lavi ordered Kanda as his hammer continued to grow as they tried to beat the avalanche on its race down the mountain.

Kanda grumbled and prepared to grab Allen when he realized something.

"He's tied to the bloody cross!" Kanda cursed as they got closer… and closer...

"Then grab the cross too you moron!"

And so he did.

As the avalanche continued to pass them, Lavi redirected his hammer so that it went back towards the town as Kanda untied the naked body from the cross. It was only then that he realized...

"Uh, Lavi?"


"Are you sure this is Allen?"

"What do you mean 'is this Allen?' Look at his eye!"

"Yes, I know but..."

"But what?" Lavi asked in an annoyed tone.

"He's well… he's a girl."

Lavi remained silent as they landed in the center of the town. Finally he turned around and said, "Take her to the hotel and keep her alive. I'm getting help."

Kanda sighed in annoyance as the redhead ran off, standing there until he felt the small body in his arms shake violently. He cursed and slid off his coat, wrapping it around the young teen before picking her up again and running to the hotel.

He laid her down on the bed and sighed when he realized that she would freeze to death if he did not offer her his body heat. Reluctantly he wrapped her body with the sheet before sliding under the blanket with her and pulling her shivering frame close to his bare chest.

"S-so cold…."

"Shh," he said rubbing her hair with a tenderness he didn't know he had. "Help's coming."


"Shh. Onii-san will be here soon."

He listened as her breathing evened out as she slid into a deep sleep, constantly stroking her hair until he heard footsteps running down the hall.