A/N: I changed the first three chapters so that it was Lavi instead of Rabi. I also noticed that in chapter four I wrote William instead of Charles, so I decided to change it to Charles. I've also realized that despite my efforts, the disclaimer never says what is supposed to. So just know that I do not own the characters that are not my own, as well as the pieces of the plot that are not mine. I hope you enjoy it!

As It Fell Apart

"I refuse."

"Stop being a pain in the ass."

"I refuse to eat anything that does not come directly from Jerry."

"Just eat the bloody porridge."

"No. You probably put something in there that will stunt my growth."

"You don't need my help for that, moyashi."

"The name's Allen!"

"You sure about that?"

"Of course, you idiot."

"What kind of parent would name their daughter Allen?"

"Mana was a better parent than my parents could ever be!"

"Kanda looked at the small girl in front of him and sighed.

"Just eat the goddamn porridge."

Lavi waited as the butler fit the key into the lock of his new room. When the lock tumbled and the door swung open, Lavi quickly gave his thanks before walking inside.

The room seemed somewhat familiar, but he could not figure out why. There was no way that he could have stayed in a room this nice before. The Bookman does not have much in terms of money, so they usually stay at cheap inns.

Lavi walked over to the wardrobe and opened it up. While he found what he was looking for (his extra uniform), he also found a lot that he was not looking for.

He heard a knock at the door and turned around to see Philip entering the room. "What's this?" Lavi asked Philip, gesturing at the clothes behind him.

"Well, when your superior, Komui I believe his name was, wrote to tell me that you would be attending college with me, I figured that you might want some clothes of your own. My family has worked with the Black Order before, so I know that you exorcists do not have much in the way of clothes."

Lavi could not help but stare at the clothes with wonder, causing Philip to laugh. "Are there girls at this college of yours?"


"Am I in Heaven?"

"Not that I am aware of."

Lavi was really happy. Girls! But then everything came crashing down around him.

"Did you say that Lenalee-chan and I would be attending college?"


"As students?"


Lavi groaned and fell to his knees. "Why can't I ever get away from books?"

Philip stared at Lavi as he continued to sit miserably on the ground. He could not help but compare the young man to Charles. Everything about him screamed Charles. Whenever he had imagined what Charles would look like now, he looked like Lavi.

"Pardon?" Philip apologized when he realized that Lavi was talking to him.

"I asked if you have any siblings."

"Not anymore." 'Or at least everyone else thinks so,' Philip thought.

"I am sorry."

"Don't be." Philip sighed. "I still believe that they are alive. In fact, I had mistaken you for my younger brother Charles when I first saw you."

"Oh. Pardon my asking… but do you have a sister?" Lavi noticed that Philip looked shocked, but shrugged it off.

"Yes, although not many people know about her. My parents claimed that she died when she was very young. The truth is that they threw her out on the streets because they thought that she was a disgrace to the house."

Lavi swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat, and forced himself to ask his next question. "What is her name?"

"Adela Elizabeth Carlisle."

Laci felt like he could not breathe. There was no doubt in his mind that Allen was Philip's younger sister. For some reason he just knew it. The Bookman had told him to never trust his gut, but rather knowledge; however, his time as an exorcist had taught him that sometimes it is better to follow your instinct. This was one of those times.

Lavi heard Philip asking if he was all right, but ignored him for the moment as he continued to let his thoughts flow. Philip thought that he was his missing younger brother. When he and Kanda had figured out Allen's true identity, she had requested his permission to call him onii-san. Allen clearly had memories of her life before Mana, while Lavi could not remember anything before Bookman took him in. And there was that hint of sadness whenever she looked at him….

"How old would your brother be now?"

"Eighteen. Lavi?"

"I think I'm going to be sick."

I'll never admit this out loud, but Kanda is beautiful when he practices. Sure the sword is beautiful, the way it glides through the air as Kanda moves from one move to the next, but it's hard to concentrate on the sword when Kanda is the one wielding it. The way the wind blows the loose strands in front of his face, the way his muscles tense and relax, the way his feet move across the ground as if he were dancing….

Whenever I see Kanda practice, I always wish that I could storm up to Komui's Office and reveal my big dark secret to everyone so that I could act like a girl around Kanda and not be considered gay. Now that Kanda and Lavi know I am a girl, the temptation is harder to resist. No that Kanda knows I am a girl, I want him to see me as a girl, and so far, I don't think that has happened.

So why haven't I run upstairs and exposed myself to the rest of the Order? It's because of that goddamn attitude of his.

"Oi, moyashi!"


"Come over here for a second."

I slowly stand up and walk over to him, careful to keep my eyes off of his chest. I stop a couple of meters in front of him and look up into is face. "Yes?"

"You new form, Crowned Clown, it has swords right?"

"Yes," I answer with surprise. I had regained my innocence just before our last mission, and I was shocked that Kanda knew what it looked like since I have not used it in front of him yet.

"Then you need to know how to handle a sword properly. Here," he said, forcing a practice sword into my hands. "Show me how you would hold this."

I almost dropped the sword in my haste to grip it properly. When I stopped, Kanda sighed and started to walk past me. I felt my heart drop and started to lower my arms when his hands gripped mine from behind. All I could focus on was the heat of his body, his breath as it blew past my ear, his rough callused hands on mine as he rearranged them to his liking.

"Are you okay?"

I stumbled back in shock, and felt like I would faint when I felt his bare chest against my back. "Just tired," I managed to mumble before I forgot his question.

He sighed and took a step back, releasing my hands before grabbing the practice sword. "Let's get you back to your room before you fall asleep on me. I don't want to have to carry you back. You're surprisingly heavy."

"Am not!" I shouted at his retreating figure.

I almost wanted to cry.