Here I am again. My nails are painted black. Next is purple. Anyway, it's been a while, but I've just not had the time, you know? Plus, I've been...uh...doing...stuff. Like, playing Phoenix Wright and Dirge of Cerberus. Super good times. Vincent's so cool. I also pre-ordered Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I'm so excited! I've been checking the website, and the music is amazing. And there's Ike! Oh-my-gosh Ike! And Zero Suit Samus! And Final Smash! And...and...YES! So. On with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrighted material in this story, such as Naruto. The end.


For a minute, Sasuke just stared at Neji, and Neji stared back with his creepy eyes. It continued to rain.

Finally, Neji straightened and brushed invisible dust off his shirt. He glanced around nervously, perhaps to see if anyone else had seen him petting the bunny. Then he glared at Sasuke, turned, and began to walk away.

Crossing his arms in his "pose of attitude", Sasuke called after Neji. "Hold it."

Neji stopped abruptly.

"What were you doing...petting a rabbit?" Sasuke was trying to act tough, but actually, he was just curious. The formidable Neji, petting a rabbit? Something was way off, and it wasn't just the alignment of the bones in Sasuke's throbbing ankle.

Neji tossed his hair. "Who cares?"

Neji made to walk away again, but Sasuke was ready for him. He whipped out his cell phone, which he conveniently had in his pocket for this story, and pressed 1 on Speed Dial. He then pressed Speakerphone. Neji turned around to observe the surprising turn of events.

After ringing for several seconds, someone picked up on the other end. "Hello, Neji Fan Club, this is the Vice-President speaking. How may I be of service?"

Neji's face paled. Okay, it paled more than it already was.

"Uh, yes, this is...member #58726." Sasuke made his voice high-pitched and recited the secret code-name.

"Ah yes, member #58726. Any news on Neji?" The voice from the other end became excited.

"Why, yes, actually." Sasuke stared at Neji while he spoke. "You see, I just saw Neji-"

In an instant, Neji was over by Sasuke, trying to grab the cell phone. He wanted nothing more than to smash it to bits. But Sasuke would have none of it.

"Tell me what you were doing or I'll tell everyone else," Sasuke growled, covering the mouthpiece with his hand.

For a minute, Neji struggled with his inner thoughts. On one hand, Sasuke was not the person he wanted to tell about his personal life. On the other hand, if those fangirls found out...

Sasuke tapped his foot. He had never been a very patient person. Being wet and in pain made him even less patient than usual.

"Fine, fine." Neji folded his arms and tried to look threatening, but really, he just looked scared. His face showed his relief when Sasuke snapped the cell phone shut and slipped it back into his pocket. "I was...well..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Spit it out, Hyuuga."

"I like rabbits, okay?!" Neji shouted. "Are you happy? I. Like. Rabbits!" He then turned and stomped away down the street.

Sasuke snorted. Neji? Liking rabbits? That was too much. Satisfied, he turned and walked back in the direction of his house, a spring in his limp. He figured the fangirls would have been thrown off by his not being at his house. It would probably be safe. Plus, it was raining. Being soaked, he wanted to change into dry clothes and wrap up his swollen ankle. Little did Sasuke know that the say was about to get a whole lot worse before it got any better.


It should have been simple, opening that door. But Sasuke stood on the front steps, paralyzed. Someone was in there. Someone he probably did not want to see. He was about to turn back around and go somewhere else, when he saw a familiar blonde head bobbing over some shrubs down the road. Oh dear. There was no way he was going to face that. So, he took a deep breath, and went inside.

Sasuke's footsteps echoed down the darkened hallway. Ominous music played mysteriously from somewhere in the house. Which struck Sasuke as very, very odd.

Someone was in his house playing his ominous music. And the noise was coming from the main room! Picking up speed, Sasuke rushed the door, which broke in half under his weight. And there, dancing around in the middle of the room, were two people. Two people who filled Sasuke with hatred and dread.

Wearing purple party hats, Itatchi and Kisame danced around a giant stereo system from which flowed ominous music.

"Oh, it's Darling Sasuke!" Itatchi gushed, squishing his cheeks up with his hands. "Sweet Little Brother-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!" Sasuke screamed with horror.

"Not much of a greeting," grumbled Kisame.

"Oh, what, you expect me to be happy that you're here?" Sasuke wondered if he could at least take one of them out.

Itatchi pouted. "Well, it would be nice since we came here for your birthday specially, Sasuke-wasuke.■ He▓d turned off the ominous music.

"Yeah, sure. Hey there, Kisame, you're looking creepy as ever. How's it going, Itatchi? Killed anyone lately?" Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Actually, no," Itatchi replied.

"Really? You think I look creepy as ever?" Kisame studied his reflection in a hanging mirror.

Itatchi shook his head. "Enough of the whatever-you-call-it-when-you-chatter-endlessly. It's time to get down to business."

That was it then. He was going to die. Sasuke gritted his teeth. Not without a fight.

Itatchi and Kisame closed in on him. And then...and then...

"Happy happy birthday, from all of us to you, we wish it was our birthday, so we could party too, YAY!" Itatchi and Kisame broke out into song, throwing confetti around.

Sasuke almost fainted.

"Blow out the candles, darling little brother!" Itatchi shoved a cake in Sasuke's face. "Make a wish! And then you can open your presents!"

"...uh..." Sasuke realized then that he probably had passed out, and this was all some horrible nightmare. So he did the only thing he could do.

Sasuke blew out the candles.

"HOORAY!" screeched Itatchi and Kisame in unison. "PRESENTS!" They then proceeded to shove presents in Sasuke's face.

One after the other, Sasuke opened his presents. Present one was a vial of poison. "Sorry, it was all I could find around the house," said Itatchi, beaming. "Don't drink it, Sasuke-wasuke. I even put a Mr. Yuck sticker on there."

Present two was a coin purse full of money. "That one was from me! We came across this guy on our way here..." Kisame clapped his hands joyfully.

Present three was lotion. "You've always had the nicest skin, Sasuke-wasuke. You should take better care of it," said Itatchi thoughtfully. Throughout the whole thing, Sasuke sat completely paralyzed by the aura of stupidity hovering around him. Well, the two auras, actually.

Finally, the nightmare was over. With plenty of singing and dancing and blowing of whistles, Itatchi and Kisame departed, disappearing down the dark street, leaving Sasuke looking after them in a daze. And with that, Sasuke turned around, marched up the stairs, and threw himself into bed. Thank GOD that was over.


And so ends the first part. Ready for the next part? I'm actually not sure I am, because I haven't thought quite that far down the road, so...if you have any ideas, be sure to tell me, and I'll make your wildest dreams come true. I've beaten Trials and Tribulations already, so...I have nothing better to do. Then, until later. Out. Oh yes. I also wanted to let everyone know that I am working on a sequel to the one story I have finished. My lovely Friday story. It's got a Saturday coming up.