Disclaimer: Tolkien-verse doesn't belong to me. Cassie and Alla do belong to me (technically, Alla belongs to my friend and partner) so please don't copy them. The PPC belongs to Jay and Acacia.

This is my personal spinoff of the PPC, started by the great Jay and Acacia. Thanks go to them to starting up such a wonderful and stress-relieving agency. Most of the Sues here are of my own invention—the link and title will be provided if the story actually exists. Feel free to inform me of any Sues you find… they may or may not be hunted down, but if they are, credit will be given to the alerter.

Either way… enjoy!


You've both completed the initiation rites? The suited sunflower asked.

The two women nodded.


"What do you think we are, amateurs?" the taller woman shot back scathingly.

Taken the oath?

"Yes. Now, are you going to hire us or not?" The taller woman fixed the sunflower with a look that forecast hell and damnation if an answer was not forthcoming.

The sunflower practically shriveled under the look. Yes. Here's your key. Your gear's in the office. If you need anything else, go to Supplies or hunt down Makes-Things. A tendril tossed them a key, which the smaller woman caught. And do be gentle with Makes-Things. He's already terrified of too many of our agents.

With nods, the women left—the sunflower virtually wilted in relief. Phew.

The smaller woman unlocked the office door and strode in, instantly claiming the desk nearest the window with a yelp of, "My desk!"

Rolling her eyes, her friend claimed the other desk by sedately placing her bag down on the tabletop. When the bag let out a hiss, the other woman looked up and narrowed an eye. "Alla… you've got Murphy in there, don't you?"

"Of course, he'd get lonely without me." Alla retorted, calmly extricating an albino king snake from her backpack and stroking its head fondly. "At least he's portable, you'dve brought a wolf or something—and besides, he's a sweetie."

"A sweetie who can produce a poison so deadly that an ounce could wipe out the entire pre-Helm's-Deep Uruk-hai population of Isengard," her partner shot back. "Thanks, but I'll stick to wargs. They're friendlier."

"Friendly? Cass, those are the bests that disembowel horses with their teeth, remember?"

There was a soft Beep from the wall speaker, but the two were so involved in the 'discussion' that they heard nothing.

"Well, quicker than internally hemorrhaging to death—"

Beep? The speaker tried again. Beep!

"I'd rather not end up as warg chow, thanks—"

The speaker finally lost patience.


When the echoes faded away, the duo traded resigned glances. "Let's go."

I apologize for the short chapter… more will come, I promise, but probably after the summer. I have exams next week, so yeah… see you guys then!

P.S: Any reports of Mary-Sues will be much appreciated.