Resident Geniuses

Dislaimer – I own neither BtVS nor SG: SG-1


Stargate – None really

Police Squad! – Also none.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show Police Squad! it was a short lived (6 episodes) series from ABC in the early eighties. It was created and run by the same people who wrote and directed Airplane (perhaps one of the funniest movies ever made). The premise was reworked into the Naked Gun movies a few years later.

Sadly one character did not make into the movies.


Resident Geniuses

Dr. Daniel Jackson looked around carefully, making certain he had not been followed. As far as everybody back at the mountain was concerned he was still locked in his lab trying to decipher the tablets from P3Y-929. But the Ancient script was proving quite difficult to break. He needed a little push.

Taking one last look around, Daniel quickly sat down at a shoe shine stand and put his boot up on one of the racks. The man running the stall quickly set out his gear and began efficiently polishing Daniel's shoe.

Daniel glimpsed around and then leaned in. "Johnny, what do you know about Ancient dialect as it relates to the story of the Plague?"

"I don't know what you're talking about fella," Johnny answered.

Reaching into his jacket Daniel pulled out a wad of cash. Peeling several off he handed them to Johnny. Johnny gave a quick look around as he pocketed the cash.

"During the plague the Ancients fractured as communications between their colonies broke down," Johnny explained. "As a result each group's language diverged. I assume you're trying to translate the Tablets of Agrathean?"

"Yes," Daniel replied. "But the dialect seems to be deliberately fluid. I need a translation key in order to crack whatever cipher they used. I don't suppose you might know where I could find one?"

"I wouldn't know a thing about it," Johnny said.

Daniel liberated a couple of more bills and passed them to Johnny.

Looking around again, Johnny leaned in and began to whisper. "The tablets are based on a three tier cipher that uses four different variations of Ancient. You need to locate the translations you did for the Ancient machine on P2V-445. The programming code for the machine uses the same cipher. You can use that as a Rosetta Stone to translate the tablets."

"Thanks Johnny," Daniel said as he got up from the chair.

A few minutes later a blond woman sat down at Johnny's stand.

"Johnny," she said. "What do you know about stabilizing a Naqahdriah reaction using a thermal laser to divert the excess heat away from the intermix chamber?"

"Ya got me," Johnny said.

She handed him some bills and Johnny leaned in. "The process creates a series of sympathetic vibrations within the reactor core. That leads to either an automatic shut down within fifteen minutes of engaging the hyperdrive or an overload that will force you jettison the core before a complete meltdown occurs."

"And how do I fix it?"

Johnny shrugged. The woman passed him some more money.

"You'll need to set up a series of crystals inline with the intermix chamber to bleed off the excess energy," Johnny said. "And you wouldn't be in this mess if you'd just set up a relay of standard Naqahdah generators to absorb and remodulate the energy flux."