Disclaimer: If they were mine there would still be a comic book for Gen X.
A/N: If you haven't read some of the fabulous stories about Jubilee cooking go do it- they're hysterical. Emma's lack of cooking prowess is legendary in the Gen X comics. And all mistakes etc are mine…I didn't have any of my beta readers have a go at this before I put it out.
Cooking with Emma and Jubilee
The Pancake Incident
It was around midmorning that Jubilee had managed to wake up and make her morning trek downstairs to the kitchen for her *ahem* daily nutritional needs of sugar, preservatives, processed food and caffeine, all conveniently found in Sugar Bombs. Yawning, she opened the cupboard and rummaged around absently for the box, ignoring Emma presence at the table. Jubilee paused in her digging to glare at the shelves after box failed to make an appearance, and began a more frantic search of her cereal.
"I know we had some cause we bought some yesterday. Three boxes of it. Big boxes..." Jubilee's voice became muffled as she dug deeper and deeper. "Why did we buy the three big boxes? So that when I got up I could have some. I don't ask for much, I just want my Honey Frosted Sugar Bombs!!!!"
Jubilee turned to glare at Emma who was regarding her with amusement. "Where are the Sugar Bombs?"
The older woman waved towards the trashcan as she sipped her coffee. "The rest of the team ate it I believe. They were in a hurry to head into town and grabbed the first thing they could find. Sadly for them it was your cereal."
"Sad isn't the half of it when I get my hands on them!" The small teenager paced around the room angrily, taking a minute every once in a while to glare at the emptied cereal boxes in the trash. Her lower lip trembled slightly as she sat down beside Emma and began eating sugar cubes out of the bowl. "I didn't even get to try the new marshmallow coated, chocolate centered kind. It was new." Jubilee looked up at Emma pathetically, her face the very picture of a deprived teenager without her sugar.
"If it makes you feel better they finished my donuts as well." Emma sighed and picked at her bagel that no amount of cream cheese could make better. "Really, there were 24 in there." She muttered to herself.
Dragging herself to her feet, Jubilee began poking around in the cupboards looking for something to eat. "So what is there? Oh hey look, there's some flour and I know we have a couple of eggs and stuff. Why don't we make breakfast?"
Emma's eyes glittered for a moment, her smile a little too wide. "We could make some pancakes, because there isn't anything in the kitchen to eat." Quickly shoving the last of the bagels in the trash, Emma tied on an apron and began getting ingredients out of the fridge.
Jubilee grinned; her eyes were roaming around the room for things to cook when it fell on a blackened spot on the wall above the stove, her smile faltering at the memory. "Um didn't the fire department say that..."
"Nonsense, it was only once and nobody died except for that one bird." Emma loaded some eggplant onto the counter alongside the eggs, butter, milk, syrup, onions, and paprika. "Besides what they don't know won't hurt them. Now," Emma rubbed her hands together gleefully. "What goes into pan-cakes?"
"Flour for sure." Jubilee said with the certainty of a girl with nothing to loose and got the said ingredient out of the cupboard.
Exactly forty miles away, sipping a strawberry banana smoothie Sean felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Looking around uneasily he found nothing to be worried about and returned to slurping his drink. He rubbed his hand on his neck as he shook off the feeling that something, somewhere the very laws of nature were going very very wrong.
"Okay, flour. Good. It goes in the bowl."
"With other stuff."
"Um…" A well-manicured hand furtively ducked in the bag and dumped a few handfuls in the bowl. "How's that look?"
A smaller hand judiciously three in a couple more handfuls. "Great."
Looking enormously pleased with themselves, Emma and Jubilee dusted their hands off on their aprons. Peering at the white powder for a moment Emma stuck a finger in. "I don't know, should it be wetter than this?"
Jubilee nodded emphatically. "Yep, because last week I was watching a Martha Stewart marathon on TV since there wasn't anything else on and she did a whole show on the wonders of pancakes only she called them crepes and stuffed them with bananas and chocolate and stuff." The teenager paused a split second to breath before continuing. "She added eggs and milk and said that basically we could add whatever we wanted because it would variety to our breakfasts and impress our friends."
"Really?" Emma's face lit up into smile as she realized that her world had gotten much, much simpler. Martha Stewart had just told her so. Suddenly a stray thought managed to wedge itself into Emma's consciousness and she looked curiously at Jubilee. "Wait, you can't remember the year that WW2 ended but you can remember an episode from Martha Stewart's cooking show in almost perfect detail?"
Jubilee shrugged. "She was more interesting."
"Fine, whatever." Emma wasn't about to start a line of questioning that would only get her upset. Looking out onto her kitchen, she smiled beatifically. Today she was going to cook! "So, lets dump in some eggs."
A dozen eggs, some milk, chocolate syrup, bananas, and strawberry powdered milk later Emma transferred the mixture into a bigger bowl. The two of them looked at the dull brown mixture thoughtfully. Jubilee poked it with a spoon, unwilling to go so far as to dip a finger in to try it. "This wasn't what it looked like in the show."
Emma merely waved away the concern. "Pish, shows are unrealistic and make believe. This," Emma beheld her masterpiece lovingly. "This is real cooking."
"O-kay." Jubilee had been Emma's student long enough to realize when some things were escalating beyond control.
"now, what else can you remember going in the pancake batter."
"Something about baking powder or baking soda."
Tinkles of broken glass erupted as Emma rummaged around in her cabinets. "All I can find is some yeast." Emma shook some cobwebs off her head as she held up the container. "It works on bread right?"
Sean paused as he listened to the newest Riverdance cd. No matter what he did he couldn't shake the little electric shocks of fear that ran down his spine. Shivering slightly, Sean glanced around the mall, it was definitely time to go home.
Emma prodded the bubbling mass of dough that had quadrupled in size in the past half hour. They had filled every empty bowl, pot, pan and dish in the kitchen and it was still growing. Every once in awhile a large bubble would explode sending batter everywhere. Emma's once blond hair was drenched in mud colored goo and Jubilee wasn't much better off, having had to use steel wool to scrub the stuff off of her hands.
"Somehow…" Emma looked at Jubilee and then back at the mixture. "I don't think we should cook this. I've pretty lost my appetite."
Jubilee nodded emphatically and took a step away from the counter as a bowl beside her started to froth. "Let's get rid of it."
"Well the garbage disposal is out of the question." Emma waved to the now useless sink in disgust, the contraption groaning every once in awhile in protest as it's gears became glued with batter.
"How about the trash?"
Emma shuddered, am image from the movie The Blob coming to her. "It's summer, it'd just get bigger and anyway the trash won't be picked up for a whole week. I don't think we can hide it from Sean…I mean it wouldn't be…" Emma floundered as she nervously sipped her ice tea. "Hell, we can't okay."
They always say that necessity is the mother of invention, personally Jubilee had always found that panic pretty much drove most of her ideas. "How about we stick in the fireplace and burn it?"
"That's the most," Emma's hands shook as she felt Sean's presence about ten miles away. "Brilliant idea I've ever heard. Let's do it."
The fireplace was located in the school's living room, and within two minutes they had transported all of the batter into the room, dumping the goo into the brick hole. It was gas operated and could be turned on by flipping a switch, and within seconds a crackling fire could be started. Emma however, wasn't about to do anything in small measures and had found the safety valve and turned the gas to full power. Once it was turned as far as it could go, Emma threw in a match with a grin. The bluebird sitting on top of the chimney never had a chance…
Sean had dragged the team kicking and screaming back to the school, a sick sense of dread crawling around in his stomach each mile they got closer to…to…whatever was going wrong. The building was in sight as the car drove up to the building.
*See Sean? Nothing's wrong. Can we please get back they're having a sale on records at…"
A flash of blinding light enveloped the car as a huge fireball exploded from the chimney, sending up a mushroom cloud that darkened the sky.
Sean looked at the rubble that was left of the roof. "See! See! Dinnnae I tell ya that there was something wrong??" He smiled triumphantly as he got out of the car and walked up to the building. His hand was on the doorknob when Emma and Jubilee walked out, stalking past him to where a limo was just driving up. Both looked like they had just changed into whatever they could get their hands on, and ignored the team as they got into the limo, seemingly unaware of the batter that was dripping off of their hair and faces. Sean ran up to the limo and kept the door from shutting.
"Emma what the hell is going on?"
Emma looked up at him in surprise and smiled coolly. "Oh it's you Sean. Are you back already? I hope you and children found what you were looking for."
"What happened to the school?"
"Nothing really. Well Jubilee and I are going to get a bite to eat and perhaps see a movie or two. See you tonight Sean." Emma tried to pull the door shut but the man kept it open.
Emma put her nose in the air and slammed the door shut. The window slid down a fraction and Sean could make out Jubilee grinning beside the older woman. "If you leave us without food for breakfast then we had to improvise. We improvised. Ta-ta dear." She leaned forward and tapped on the driver's window, the limo started to speed away.
Sean stood furious in the driveway that was littered with gray globs of dough. "Emma! EMMA!!!! Get back here and clean this mess!!!!!"
The limo slowed and Jubilee leaned out the window with a cheeky grin. "Next time don't eat three family sized boxes of my cereal! Ciao!"
The team climbed out of the SUV and stood around Sean who was opening and closing his mouth in shock. Finally giving up on him the team headed inside to see the damage. Still outside Sean managed to squeak out. "but we came back right afterwards with more cereal…we bought some more boxes..they were in the pantry." He held his hands up to the heavens and screamed out. "THEY WERE IN THE PANTRY!!!"
The limo quickly slid down the highway, Jubilee and Emma grinned at each other. The girl looked at Emma as she picked some of the stuff out of her hair. "You heard didn't you?"
Emma sniffed. "They heard him three towns over."
"But we didn't did we?"
Flicking off a piece of banana Emma smiled at her. "Not one peep."