Title: Meditation on a Fall

Author: Culumacilinte

Pairing: God/Lucifer

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Seriously now, how mad would I have to be to claim that I owned the Christian God and the Devil? Or Lucifer, or what have you. No- I own nothing, nothing at all.

Summary: El misses Lucifer.

Author's Note: 'Helel' is the Hebrew word for 'morning-star,' and is used often to refer to Lucifer. El is one of the many names given in the Bible for God.

He was the brightest and the best, unrivalled by any other in power and beauty and light. His dark eyes burned like coals, smouldering in his fair face, his hair like molten gold falling in waves around straight shoulders and a long neck. Full of joy was that face, so much that it hurt almost to gaze upon it. But not He. He looked upon him with pride, seeing in him the greatest of Creation, seeing in him an equal as there was in no other thing living amidst the spheres or below them.



Lucifer from lux-light in the language that no-one yet spoke. For radiance he was; bringer of light, dispeller of darkness; light like the flame and the sword, burning keen with a lust and a joy for vengeance and for retribution. The very outline of him shimmered, as if the air itself was loath to trespass upon his body, and wings white and straight sprung from his mighty shoulders. He was beautiful, angel-beautiful, Lucifer-beautiful, and he held within him a great love for all Creation, a boundless fountain which spilled and spilled and spilled until the world was wading in it.

Helel like love.

Lucifer like light.

Light like flame, like the might of a thousand suns, light like the burning of kisses laid along the quiver of flesh, like pleasure ere there was such a thing.

And He- He was Yahweh, Jehovah, El. He was El, and Lucifer was the best of all things in His sight. Such a love was there between them that others dared not approach when they two were together, for such a force and a passion was in them that lesser beings would be scorched. Burnt. Burnt with flame like Lucifer and words like El. Burnt with water and fire and love.

And love hurts.

For Lucifer fell, the scars of a fiery love marring fair skin, and watching him, El wept- wept for what had been, and what would never be again.

And oftentimes, El watched in the darkness and wondered if He could see Lucifer's light amidst the choking black. For it was bright, bright up amongst the spheres, and the music of the seraphim rang sweet, but there was no light as bright as Helel's, and no music lovelier than that smooth voice whispering lowly against His ear. But Lucifer was gone.

And El was lonely.

And He dreamed, if dreams indeed they could be called, of the time before the Fall. He dreamed of burning coal-eyes and long, clever fingers, and kisses like swift licks of flame. He dreamed of long conversation, of ringing laughter and of anger too; anger so great it drew storms heavy with the threat of lighting, storms which disgorged their contents onto the mortal earth, which quaked beneath the onslaught. El missed Lucifer's anger. For no-one on earth or heaven dared get angry with Him as Lucifer had, beautiful Lucifer with his blazing soul and his defiance.

But even He in His omnipotence could not see the fallen Morning Star. But if He could, He would have seen Lucifer, Helel, steeped in darkness, looking up, wondering if perhaps he could see El's light shining above the dome of the firmament.

But he could not.

And neither could El.