Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club and Death Note belong to their rightful owners.

A/N: I blame Mamoru Miyano and Masaya Matsukaze. No, actually, I blame the ones who hired them particularly for these two set of characters. They probably did it on purpose (We all know it was HITSUZEN)

(Oh, and just for the purpose of this fic, we'll pretend that Mikami has a special God-Kira Hotline, ok?)

Phone Calls Gone WRONG

Ootori Mansion, 23:57hrs

It was really late at night. Kyouya Ootori was working, like always, until late hours in the night. Then suddenly, the phone started ringing.

He didn't even bothered in checking who it was, because he was used to this routine, there was only one person who would call him at such hours.

He picked up the phone monotonously, the other hand still typing wildly numbers into the processor. He thought he had heard it all from Tamaki Suou, his suggestions, ideas and pseudo-orders were always absolutely random, but he was not ready for what he heard next.

"It's Kira. Proceed with the next part of the plan. Kill them all."

… …

Obviously, Kyouya didn't know Tamaki as well as he thought.


And apparently, Tamaki couldn't get a hint. He continued talking; ignoring the fact that he hadn't uttered a word.

"After such procedures it will only be a matter of time before my enemies fall into my clutches. And then no one will be able to stop me!"

Of course Tamaki had been talking weird before, but this was a whole new level of insanity.

"Mwahaha… MWAHAHAHA"

"What the hell, Tamaki! What have you been smoking?!"


The laughing simply continued, oblivious to what Kyouya had said, or would say, for that matter. So Kyouya just did the most reasonable thing to do in such a situation.

He hung up.

Somewhere in Japan, 23:57hrs

Teru Mikami was working in some cases when the phone suddenly rang. But it was not any phone; it was THE phone, which meant it was God. God was calling him and so he answered quickly (and happily).


"KYOUYA! KyouyaKyouyaKyouyaKyouya!!!"

Mikami was quite taken aback when he heard God in such a hyperactive mode, and uttering a word he had never heard of in his whole life. It was probably some sort of new code that hadn't been put into action up until now…

"KyouyaKyouyaKyouyaKyouya!!! I'VE HAD THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!!!"

He just nodded, following along. God must've had a really great plan for him to be this jubilant.



All right… Now that was a completely innovative kind of order… He couldn't quite understand the whole point behind this order, but it was God saying so and he would just obey.

After all, he was nothing but a mere mortal.


Mikami had no clue of where in the world he would find an XXX outfit at such late hours. But he wouldn't let down his god. He would complete this task no matter what.




He hung up, his heart beating viciously and his blood pumped up.

Next Day

Ouran High School, 08:00hrs


Tamaki Suou felt completely devastated. He was wearing his very-hard-to-find-and-custom-made XXX outfit, only to discover that Kyouya hadn't even cared to bring his.

"Because you were being absolutely ridiculous, Tamaki. Even more so than usual."

"B-b-but Kyouya! I thought you had agreed!"

He had told him so, he had told him so! He was not making up things, was he? Then again, he had called really, really late so maybe Kyouya was already feeling sleepy and only agreed to shush him up.

But… that was still valid, right? HE HAD AGREED!

"Let's get going. Regardless of what you think this establishment is, we do have classes in here."

Tamaki had run into his emo-corner, already black and filled with mushrooms. Kyouya, however, kept walking along the hallway.


Tamaki stood up, and tried to catch up; it was difficult to run in his XXX costume.

Come to think of it, he should go and change into his uniform…

Kanto, 08:00hrs

Light Yagami felt completely astonished. He had clearly told Mikami what had to be done yesterday night. And Mikami had never dared to defy him; he was far too devoted to even think about doing so.

On the other hand, the morning news was already airing and there was nothing about those he had wanted dead.

He grabbed his special cell phone and dialed the number.



"G-God! B-But, I have followed your commands word for word!"

"DO- NOT- LIE TO ME MIKAMI! If you begin failing me then I'll have no other choice than to do away with you!"


Click. Light rubbed his temples, stressed out. The nerve of some people. He wondered if he could still count on Mikami, or if it was time to begin taking the matter into his hands once again. There was this saying, after all, that "if you want something done, you must do it yourself".

Little did he know that somewhere in Japan, a very confused Teru Mikami was standing in the street, in his XXX cosplay, completely unaware of what he had done wrong.

Review, s'il-vous-plaît?