Disclaimer: Stargate is not owned by me. I wish it were, but it ain't.

Rating: T

Spoiler: None

Okay, this is in a slightly diferent format to the previous chapters. Apart from the first letter, the rest have been emails, so that's where this chapter fits in. Hope you all enjoy my stab at humour.


O'Nell.J: Hey!

Carter.S: I see you found the internal instant messenger system.

O'Nell.J: Yeah, how long have we had this on the computers?

Carter.S: About 4 years.

O'Nell.J: Really?

Carter.S: Yep, I installed it myself, it's easier sometimes when your trying to make it look you are doing work.

O'Nell.J: Cool! Coz, you know, it's really hard to make it look your like your working when you are shouting at the screen 'you sunk my battleship!'.

Carter.S: So that rumour IS true then?

O'Nell.J: Yep. Walter heard it, then started it.

O'Nell.J: Sam? You ever thought of what we could do with this?

Carter.S: Everything is logged

O'Nell.J: And who can view it?

Carter.S: You and me…and everyone with clearance above you.

O'Nell.J: So…

Carter.S: Is that all you ever think about?

O'Nell.J: Lately…yes.

Carter.S:Typical male.

O'Nell.J: Carter…

Carter.S: Totally innocent, my fingers slipped on the keyboard

O'Nell.J: Thank God this is logged,

Carter.S: Why?

O'Nell.J: Now we have proof that Sam Carter makes mistakes.

Carter.S: Oh shut up.

O'Nell.J: Does my name have to be O'Neill.J?

Carter.S: Yes.

O'Nell.J: Why?

Carter.S: That's the way the programming works.

O'Nell.J: But you programmed it.

Carter.S: I know. That's why I know that's the way it works.

O'Nell.J: So, if you are the person who programmed it, can't you change it to something more interesting?

Carter.S: Maybe.

O'Nell.J: Do I have to bribe you Colonel?

Carter.S: You called me Colonel.

O'Nell.J: Yep.

Carter.S: You haven't done that since we got together.

O'Nell.J: I know

Carter.S: Fine. I'll change your name.

Stud.J.T: J.T?

Carter.S: Jack the…

Stud.J.T: I thought these were being logged?

Carter.S: I can fix that.

Stud.J.T: Have I told you that I love you recently?

Carter.S: Last night…and this morning.

Stud.J.T: Just living up to my name

---Jackson.D has entered the conversation

Jackson.D: Hey!

Carter.S: Hey Daniel.

SStud.J.T: Uhh…Sam?

Carter.S: I thought you wanted a new name?

Stud.J.T: I did…

Jackson.D: Did I miss something here?...is that you Jack?

Stud.J.T: Yes, Daniel, this is Jack.

Jackson.D: Oh…

Carter.S: It's fine, I'll change it.

Stud.J.T: Good!

Cuddler.J.T: Sam this is no better!

Jackson.D: Thanks Sam, you just made me spit coffee over a piece of paper that is 2000 years old…ah well, it wasn't saying much anyway.

GrumpyBear.J.T: Colonel…

Carter.S: What?

GrumpyBear.J.T: …

Carter.S: Fine.

Spoil.Sport.J.T: You're having fun with this aren't you?

Carter.S: Yep.

---Teal'c has entered the conversation

Pouter.J.T : How come he get's his full name.

Jackson.D: He's like Cher…or Madonna

Teal'c: DanielJackon, Colonel Carter and O'Neill, I hope you are all well.

Pouter.J.T : T, buddy, do you have to use our full names in chat?

Teal'c: It is a sign of respect O'Neill

Jackson.D: You honestly think we can get him to stop saying that after 8 years of asking Jack?

Pouter.J.T : I was hopeful.

Jackson.D: I've got to go, I just realized what this word meant, it changes everything on the tablet I've been translating.

---Jackson.D has left the chat

Hunk.J.T: SAM!

Carter.S: What?

Teal'c: what is Hunk?

Hunk.J.T: Don't worry about it T, Sam will be changing it in a sec right?

Carter.S: Of course.

TeddyBear.J.T: I give up. Hey T, Sam and I wanted to thank you for helping us with everything, and would you like to go visit Ishta for a week?

Teal'c: Indeed I would O'Neill.

TeddyBear.J.T: That's settled then, you ship out tomorrow after Daniel goes to Abydos.

Teal'c: Thank you O'Neill. I must depart now as I have a training session scheduled with SG-19.

---Teal'c has left the conversation

Sexy.J.I: J.I?

Carter.S: Jack is

Sexy.J.I : I'm sexy?

Carter.S: Hell yeah!

Sexy.J.I : SG-19?

Carter.S: Yep. The Scientists. They wanted to know some defense techniques.

Sexy.J.I : God, I better warn the infirmary.

Carter.S: Nearly 1600 hours Jack.

Sexy.J.I: I know.

Carter.S: Scared?

Sexy.J.I: No.

Carter.S: Liar.

Liar.J.T : HEY!

Carter.S: What?

J.loves.S: That's better.

S. loves. J: I know.

J.loves.S: it's true too.

S.loves.J: I know that too.

J.loves.S: It's 1595 Sam

S.loves.J: I know.

J.loves.S: Do you know everything?

S.loves.J : Yes. I'll be right there. Love you...you did remember cake right?

J.loves.S: I did...it was nice.

S.loves.J: You ate it?

Cake.Hog: It was nice!

S.loves.J: Your hopeless.

Cake.Hog: I'll get more.

S.loves.J: You better! Dan and T still coming over tonight?

Cake.Hog: Yep, we'll drop by the grocery store on the way home, we need refreshments.

S.loves.J: And Diet Soda!...damn, now I'm running late.

Cake.Hog: love you too Sam.

---S.loves.J has left the conversation

---Cake.Hog has left the conversation


Hope you all liked it. I've got one more stupid chapter like this in the works...but that will just be whacked in somewhere...I'll go back into the soppy romantical letters soon.