A/N: I am tired of looking back on what I wrote before and flinching like CRAZY at how many plot screw up's I mannaged to pull! And how incomplete everything feels...so I'm gonna be changing a lot of stuff...but the over all plot is probably gonna stay the same...so yeah. Basically I'm just editing this...so please read and tell me what ya think! (and by the way please if you haven't read this story before DON'T read the next chapters until I finish editing them...)
Disclaimer:The only thing I will claim to own are my OC's (so paws off please!) and the plot (duh!) but the world this is taking place in and all the other stuff are not mine...(but wouldn't it be great to OWN Caleb...hehehe...)
On the outside was I considered a normal girl? I suppose not. My trust in people had faded until it was literally nonexistent. I'm the shadow of a girl. The ghost that seemed to haunt the halls of the public school in California. It was how it was. No one cared about me anymore, I couldn't blame them, but none of them knew...exactly how I felt. Why I was always silent.
They never would understand.
Moving away wasn't hard.
Promising to keep in contact with the few people who still tried to care was a joke. Soon the game I was playing would be over. Soon this pathetic existence would finally come to an end.
My shoulder is still throbbing as I slipped into class. Ten minutes late now. Everybody turns to watch the disorganized girl, me, walk into the room. Feeling my cheeks turn crimson; I keep my head down letting my orange-red hair cover my face as I search for an open chair.
The teacher watches me climb the stairs saying nothing to my utter relief.
I am forced to slip past three people, I do not look at them keeping my eyes on the ground, I come to the one open chair and slip into the seat my eyes still on the ground. I shift my backpack onto the floor slouching against the chair.
Turning my attention to the teacher I can't even bother to try whispering my name as I am sure all the other normal girls would do.
"Hi," a brown haired male to the right of me whispers, "I'm Tyler" He props his elbow on the desk like surface wraping around this entire row of chairs.
Taking in a deep breath I force my eyes up to look at his gentle features, and urge the weakest of smiles to come to my face "hi," I muster my words barely above a mutter, "I'm Josephine." Tyler smiles wider a small shine of relief in his deep brown eyes. Shifting away from him slightly I pull out my notebook placing it on the surface in front of me and pull out a pencil. Determination to pay attention to this class, even though I've already learned all of it, slips into my system.
The usual, almost reassuring, emptiness of silence slides into me. Taking in a deep shaky breath I jot down a few thoughts into my notebook. Its more of a journal then a notebook. I can't remember the last time I've actually taken notes. Writing is my escape. It always has been.
A door slams against the wall startling the majority of the class. Every eye turns to watch as a young blonde waltzes into the class room like he owns it. Frowning I watch him hardly interested. He scans the crowd of students, each of them watching him, until he spots Tyler who smiles at an obvious insiders joke.
"Sorry I'm late Mr. Lang. My shower handle fell off; it was the oddest thing" the blond says in a flowing, heavily sarcastic, tone. Some of the people laugh, I don't.
"Just take a seat Mr. Garwin" the tall, rather awkward, teacher says in a defeated voice.
Garwin grins; walks over to the steps, then takes them two at a time until he stops at our row. He frowns slight before slipping into the chair to the left of me. My eyes widen as I slide down farther in my chair. Fear bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I snap my notebook closed swallowing hard.
"Your shoulders purple" he says in a matter-of-factly way. Instantly my eyes fly to my shoulder which is in fact bruising quite nicely. It has reached the base of my neck. I suppose it doesn't help much that my collar shirt is only halve buttoned; dew to my mad rush to get to school in time. My hands shaking slightly I reach up and quickly button the rest of them. But even with that I know that the bruise can be seen sticking out of the collar.
"Where'd you get it?" Garwin asks I glance over to see innocent curiosity on his face. Fake innocence, just like fake happiness.
"Biking accident" I answer automatically. I'd come up with the lie as I'd ran the six blocks to get here. It was such a simple lie. One that easily flowed off my tongue dew the large amount of times I've given it.
Garwin doesn't seem to believe me. I can feel his prying eyes on me. But he says nothing, and the teacher's bland voice fills the room. I've never been so happy for the inability to say anything.
Opening my notebook to a fresh page I take my pencil, and force the entire class to just go away. Taking in a deep breath I ignore everything. These are the moments when I most wish that I was never born. It would have been so much simpler that way. But I was and for a time I was happy. For a time my life was a fairytale. Sure there was the occasional fight between my parents. But it was always alright. Until she died.
And my fairytale life came crashing in around me.
A screeching makes me jump; I can hear Garwin chuckle next to me. Just the bell I reassure myself. To my surprise I watch as the teacher is the first to gather his things and leave without saying a thing. Slowly I can hear small talk begin all around the room.
"So which dorm are you staying in?" Tyler asks angling himself towards me. I nudge my body as far away from him, without touching Garwin, as I possibly can.
"378" I answer quickly hoping the conversation will die quickly.
"Cool" I can hear the defeated undertone in his voice. The I-give-up voice. I turn to my picture suddenly releasing what I've drawn: a person is standing on the edge of a bridge looking halve way between jumping and remaining safely on the ledge. The pain is so unexpected, blossoming from my chest; that I find myself chocking on my own sob. I want to cry; to scream. To finally let it all out. To poor my heart out and look for a way to move on. I really do. But everything else; my entire life, of living with everything bottled in, simply wouldn't let me. But I know if I start crying right now I will never be able to stop. So I bite down hard on my lip. Silently reassuring myself that I can still feel. And pull my mask back on. A comfortable mask.
A mask of emptiness. Of unfeeling. Because when you feel nothing no one can hurt you.
Garwin leans over his hand grabbing my notebook and snatching it away from me. It is so fast that I blink several times not sure it really happened. My hands are still hovering in the exact same spot. Except now they are empty. I look over at Garwin not knowing what to do.
I should be used to this. People are always stealing things right out of my hands.
"Reid give the girl her back her book!" Tyler snaps, he's defending me? Shocked I look over at Tyler my mouth hanging open slightly. The brunette leans around me and snatches the book right out of Reid's hands and slips it back into my own.
Then Tyler brushed my arm, I jump slightly pulling away from him in a rather jolting movement. But I over compensate and end up with Reid holding my elbow inches away from his chest. Shock roles threw my body. It feels as if his fingers are burning holes in my skin. I yank away and press my arms as close to my body as humanly possible.
Reid narrows his eyes on me a frown on his face, Tyler gives me a thoroughly alarmed look but neither say anything. Uncomfortable silence falling between the three of us.
Tyler slowly reaches over to touch me but I shrink away flinching slightly when his fingers brush my uninjured shoulder. He quickly pulls back as if he's confirmed something. After a few seconds I release what I've just done; I'd flinched as if I was being hit.
I grab my backpack and jump to my feet, dizziness making me lurch. Tyler jumps to help me but freezes when he sees the slightly horrified expression on my face. I back away from him and shift past Reid managing not to touch him and flee down the stairs and out of the classroom. But I am terrified. I can feel myself shaking. I am scared these two boys will wonder why I flinched; but most of all I'm petrified they will try to stop me.
SO there!! Lol...I've finished my first edit of this story...it was actually pretty easy...anyways...thanks for reading! And review please!!